Fire Always Burns (9 page)

The work he had done, the story of old loves, the closeness of our bodies, it was all intoxicating to me. My body craved the taste of his lips and I could no longer fight against the craving. I leaned over and kissed him. It was the culmination of years of longing, particularly intense for the last three weeks. I had wanted this so badly, ever since the kiss at the Winter Carnival.

He pulled back a little. "Holly?"

I immediately felt like I had messed up. Before I had a chance to apologize though, he reached out and pulled me into a deeper kiss. It was heavenly. Months of sexual tension flowed between us, as the dam broke and our need for each other spilled out across each other. I kissed back fiercely, my tongue finding his with ease. He moaned, and his breathing quickened. The stubble on his chin tickled me lightly, and I giggled a little as our lips parted.

He wasted no time, grabbing my chin and bringing me in for another kiss. My hand went to behind his neck, and his finger stroked my jawline. My heart pounded within my chest. Andrew, the man of my dreams, was finally allowing my dream to come true. The vow we had made in high school surfaced in my head for a moment, but I quickly shoved the thought back down as I leaned in closer.

Andrew apparently forgot the promise as well. His hand moved from my jaw, down my neck, to my collar. He quickly unbuttoned my long sleeve shirt and pulled it off one arm, then the other. As he revealed the thin white shirt I wore underneath, his hands moved to my sides, holding me tightly. His fingers moved up and down as we shared another long kiss.

He broke from the kiss, and looked down at my body, seemingly for the first time. His hands ventured upwards under my shirt, touching the bottoms of my breasts through the lacy bra that encased them. His eyes met mine again, a look of desire consuming him, before closing them and leaning back in.

The door to the conference room opened. The librarian poked her head in. "Another group has reserved this room, so you students will have to find some other place to make out."

I was so embarrassed that I didn't even correct her to tell her that we weren't students. Andrew and I quickly picked up, throwing the yearbooks back on the re-shelf cart and hustling out the door. I could feel my cheeks burning the entire way out to the car. The cold March wind felt good against my skin, as we ran out into the parking lot.

"Want to come to my place? My dad is out of town," I grinned as I pulled out my keys.

"Race you there," he shouted as he sprinted to his car. I felt a giddy happiness flow through me as I started my car and followed hot on his heels.

Chapter 7

Red and orange demons flickered between the trees, leaving glowing fingerprints on everything they touched. Impish embers soared into the sky, raining down on the unsuspecting tinder below. The fire laughed as it danced among the trees and branches, twirling along the forest floor with devastating footprints.

"I'm pretty sure you cheated," I called out through my window as I pulled into the driveway next to Andrew.

"If anything, you cheated. You know those big red octagons? They're called stop signs. Most people recommend actually stopping at them," he teased as I got out of my car.

"The ones with white borders around them are optional. I'm surprised you didn't know that," I said, bumping my shoulder against him as I moved to unlock the door. I could feel him behind me, and I fumbled with my keys in the lock, his presence flustering me. He leaned his hand against the door frame, his body barely touching mine, but so close I could feel his warmth. I wanted to kiss him again so badly, and I could barely get my key into the door.

I finally slid it in, and heard the latch catch, the door swinging open easily. I turned to look back at him, his hand coming to my cheek and pulling me into a kiss. I stood in the doorway, my knees turning to jello as he pushed his lips into mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, losing myself to his kiss.

He stopped only long enough to guide us through the open door, kicking it shut with his foot as he enveloped me again. My fingers found his hair, pulling him ever deeper to me. He tasted like sunshine, his tongue dancing with mine. My skin burned to be touched by him, my temperature rising as he kissed me. I drank his kisses like cool water, wanting to feel him everywhere.

I pulled my shirt open and flung it on the floor as we stumbled towards the couch. I felt the couch on my leg and I sat down, pulling him with me. His hands pulled me closer, his kisses hungry as he straddled my legs, pinning me to the couch.

I ran my hands up under his shirt, feeling his muscles tighten under my fingertips. He sat up, and pulled his shirt over his head, his muscles flexing as the fabric left his body. I wanted to touch him everywhere, to taste every inch of his skin. I pulled him back down against me, my lips open and waiting for him. He pressed his body against mine, his skin hot against the thin fabric of my undershirt. He moved his kisses down my neck, nibbling gently on the sensitive skin of my throat and collarbone. My hips arched up into him, feeling him harden against me.

His hands pulled my shirt up, his fingers caressing my skin as he pulled it over my head. He sat back, looking at my body, his pupils dilating and then focusing again. He traced his finger along the lacy top of my bra, my skin tingling under his touch. With an impish grin he leaned forward, and wrapped his arm underneath me, trying to unlatch my bra.

I stopped him, but I smiled. I didn't want to move this quickly yet. I had already been down this road before, and it would be better if he just thought I was being coy. He didn't seem to take offense, he just leaned forward and kissed me deeply.

His hands went to my hair, and the two of us kissed each other furiously, frantically, as if at any moment it would be over and we'd have to go back to our regular friendship. I loved the feeling of his skin on mine. I ran my fingers over his taut muscles, and he gave an appreciative moan into my mouth. He grinded his hips into me.

One of his hands slid down my belly, fiddling with the button of my jeans. I reached down and grabbed his hand. "If my pants come off, your pants stay on. Deal?"

"Deal," he said with no hesitation. He moved his other hand down, unbuttoning my jeans with excitement. I leaned my head back as he slid them off my hips and down, off my legs. He looked at me from the bottom of the couch now as he kissed his way back up my legs. The heat within me became almost unbearable as he reached my panties.

He slowly kissed around my legs, touching every part where the fabric hugged my skin. My brain cried out to stop him, but my loins never wanted him to stop. His kissed ventured inwards, eventually going to the middle of my panties. I gasped.

He smiled and his tongue reached out, massaging the most special part of my body through my underwear. My mind instinctively went to the last time I had been intimate with a man, and I felt a quick wave of shame run through me.

"Hold on. Hold on," I said, my memories forcing me to stop. He looked up at me, and smiled gently. "Just go slow. I'm a little rusty." He came back up to me, his body covering me again, as he kissed me. I focused on his sweet taste, forcing the memories away. This was different. I knew Andrew wouldn't hurt me, so I tried to relax and melt into him. This time, his grinding into me was even more intense, but he managed to stop himself as my body unconsciously stiffened. I wanted to let him touch me, but something in me felt afraid.

"Use my arm as a pillow," he said. I laughed and rolled over, and he rolled next to me, putting his arm under my neck. We kissed, softly, and his hand ventured back south. It traveled down my cleavage, inside my bra, lightly touching my breast for a moment, before venturing further south. He was so gentle, and eager to please. I took a deep breath and let him explore.

As his fingers touched my belly button, I began to writhe a little bit. My body suddenly relaxed as I realized I could trust Andrew. He would never hurt me. A surge of excitement rushed through me, sending tingles from my scalp down to my toes. I moaned softly; I couldn't help it, I was so turned on. His fingers reached the top of my panties, tracing the elastic band. He kept moving down, over the underwear, to my delicate flower.

As if practiced a thousand times, he touched my clit through my panties. I pulled away from the kiss with a gasp, and he knew he had hit the sweet spot. Two of his fingers went in slow circles, moving my panties lightly with them. Every time his fingers hit the top of his circle, my muscles twitched with pleasure.

With a steady rhythm, he kept the circles going. I looked at him and say his deep blue eyes looking at me, wanting nothing but my pleasure. I leaned my head back and bit my lip. No man had ever spent this much time on me, sweetly rubbing my nether regions, silently wishing for my release. I closed my eyes and let each tick of pleasure hit me, steady in their beat as a metronome.

When I began to arch my hips, I knew he had to work harder to keep the same pace, but he diligently kept it going, never wavering in intensity or pace. My mouth opened wide as I could feel myself heading towards the edge. My brain surrendered to his touch, letting me go over the edge of my orgasm.

I let out a wordless moan as colors exploded in my vision, my hips arching back and forth, my entire body arching. My fingers went to my breasts, feeling myself through my bra, as I writhed. It was a wave in which I never wanted to come down off of, and when it began to subside, I grabbed his hand.

I brought it to my mouth, kissing it softly. Then I kissed him, and he drank in my kisses. I could feel his erection through his pants, and at that moment I would have given myself to him.

He stopped kissing me and leaned back into the couch. "I've wanted this for a long time," he said.

I cuddled into Andrew's shoulder, his arm wrapped around me like a warm blanket. I closed my eyes, feeling his chest rise and fall against mine like the ocean against the shore. I wanted to stay in this moment forever, to find a way to put it in a box so I could dive into it whenever I wanted. Andrew shifted on the couch slightly, moving his hand to brush a stray strand of hair out of my face.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered as he tucked the hair behind my ear. "I've always thought so, and I've never been able to tell you." I couldn't help but smile and cuddle in closer, resting my head against his chest.

He rested his cheek against my head, his body relaxed as I ran my fingers up and down his chest and stomach. I absorbed everything, storing it away in my memory for later. Andrew took a deep breath and let it out, and I knew we had to do something about the elephant growing in the room.

"What are we going to tell Luke and everyone?" I asked quietly, hiding in his arms. He tightened protectively around me.

"I don't know. We promised everyone that we wouldn't do this," he moved his head to look at me. "But I don't want to let you go. I don't want to go back to the way we were. You are just too damn beautiful for me to give up."

"I don't want to stop, Andrew. I can't stop," I bit my lip and sat up so I could look at him, his arms still around me. "We can't tell them."

Andrew sat quietly, his blue eyes deep in thought as he slowly nodded. He frowned slightly before speaking. "So what do we do?"

"We keep this a secret. At least for now. I promise we'll tell them all eventually, but just not yet," I said quietly watching his face.

"I agree. No one needs to know for a little while. This can be just our little secret," he said as he reached out and touched my cheek. I smiled at him, and then settled back into his nook. His arms felt so strong wrapped around me, like the world could end and I would still be safe. Part of me knew we were playing with fire, but I didn't care. The heat of the flames felt too good to stop.

Chapter 8

The fire could not be contained. Firefighters dug trenches only to have flames fly overhead, laughing as they danced into the trees. The water sprayed from their hoses, but the fire simply blazed higher. Mother Nature refused to cry, instead blowing hot wind across the arid landscape, feeding the fire.

The next two weeks were perfect. I lived on this wonderful high where everything seemed to be going my way. Andrew and I spent almost every day together, laughing, kissing, and daydreaming.

We started imagining what it would be like to go to school together, where we could be together without worrying about hurting our friends. My past felt so far behind me that it could never catch up. With Ray in the picture, Andrew's mom had almost stopped calling him at work to check up on him. She was full of a self confidence I had never seen, radiating happiness like a small sun.

With his mom finally behaving like an adult, I convinced Andrew to contact Colorado State University and tell them he would be starting in the fall. I even applied myself. I thought that Andrew and a new school might be enough to erase my past. I could try again and do it right this time. I thought things were finally going right, the future starting to look bright again.

▪▪▪

"How many screws do you have?" I asked looking at the boxes scattered across the counter. I hopped up on the edge of the counter, swinging my feet as I watched him work.

"I'm not one to kiss and tell, but I can tell you all about the nails, " Andrew grinned wickedly at me as he organized the boxes of screws and nails into piles.