Finessing Clarissa (14 page)

‘It appears that when Miss Effy and Miss Amy entered the drawing room earlier, they found Mr Haddon on his knees in front of Lady Angela. They assumed he was proposing marriage. It transpired that Lady Angela had told Mr Haddon she had dropped a diamond pin under her chair and I think – if you will forgive me, my lord – she contrived to make it look as if Mr Haddon was proposing so as to bait the Tribbles. It worked only too well.’

‘Were the sisters very distressed?’

‘Effy seemed to be coping quite well, or so I gathered from a rather stunned Mr Haddon who told me about it. But Amy, as soon as she saw what she thought was a proposal to Lady Angela, ran up the stairs and then came back. She snatched Lady Angela’s hair from her head, revealing it was only a wig, and poor Lady Angela is nearly bald under it. But there was worse.’

‘There can’t be,’ said the earl faintly.

‘Miss Amy threw a pair of false breasts which she had got from Lady Angela’s room on the floor in front of Mr Haddon and shouted, “Try running your hands over these, Mr Haddon, for that is what you will find in your marriage bed!”’

Clarissa began to laugh helplessly. The earl began to laugh as well and soon they were both holding on to each other. As their laughter finally died away, Clarissa looked at the earl in a startled way and moved along the sofa.

‘I have had so many adventures since I left home,’ she said. ‘First I set a coach on fire, then I nearly kill a man . . .’

‘Tom was only winded.’

‘No, not Tom. I have not told you before because . . . well, because it was all rather frightening and I never found out how he had fared. After I left your home, we put up at The Bell, where your servant had ordered a room – that is, I and my maid. My poor maid became tipsy at the dinner table and this rabbity young man offered to help me up the stairs with her. I gave him the key to my room to go ahead and open the door, but when he came back to me, I noticed his lavender gloves were streaked with black and I immediately knew he had been in my jewel box because everything was black from the fire. I struck out at him. He fell down the stairs and was knocked out just as the redcoats arrived, the ones who were searching for those missing government papers. I did not tell the colonel he was a thief because I was afraid he might hang and he had not had time to take anything, but I do hope he recovered from his fall.’

‘That’s odd,’ said the earl slowly. ‘That must have been around the time that someone broke into my home and ransacked Bella’s and Angela’s rooms. Dear girl, is it possible that instead of taking something out of your jewel box, he put something in, like those missing papers?’

‘No, there is nothing there. I looked.’

‘Perhaps I had better go to The Bell and see what I can find out.’ Sir Jason, thought the earl. Sir Jason, who had oiled his way in after the attempted robbery, asking questions about a ‘member of his family’ who had been staying at The Bell.

He got up and smiled down at Clarissa. ‘In the meantime, Angela may have her wish. She and Bella will be removed to a hotel tonight.’ Clarissa got to her feet as well. Sandford, thought the earl suddenly. He had winked at Jason when he was dancing with Clarissa, or that is what it had looked like.

He took both her hands in his. ‘Promise me one thing,’ he said.

‘Yes?’

‘If, while I am gone, Lord Sandford proposes marriage, please do not accept until I return.’

‘You are not my father,’ said Clarissa huffily. ‘I shall do as I please.’

Amy came into the room. The earl released Clarissa’s hands. Clarissa, assuming Amy would want to apologize to him in private, curtsied and left the room.

To Amy’s relief, the earl seemed more amused than angry. He gracefully accepted her apologies and told her that he was going upstairs to ask Bella and Angela to make ready to leave.

‘I am going to the country tomorrow,’ he said to Amy. ‘I have a favour to ask you. If Lord Sandford proposes marriage to Clarissa, do not let Clarissa accept the proposal until I return.’

‘Nothing to do with you,’ said Amy roundly. She sniffed. ‘You and your brotherly love! Since Clarissa met that young man at the ball last night, she has not dropped anything. The admiration of a handsome man is just what she needs. As a matter of fact,’ said Amy airily, but watching the earl closely, ‘Sandford was sounding me out today, you know, to find out how the land lies and if you entertained any warm feelings towards Clarissa. “Not a bit of it,” said I. “Looks on her as a sister.” “How can it be,” says he to me, “that any man in his right mind can share the same roof as Clarissa Vevian and look on her as a sister?” “Gentlemen,” says I, “gets staid and sober when they are as old as the Earl of Greystone.”’ Amy finished, feeling quite exhausted at having delivered herself of so many lies in such a short space of time.

‘And did Miss Vevian
also
go out of her way to tell you about her sisterly feelings towards
me
?’ demanded the earl acidly.

‘Oh, no. Mind you, there was a time when I hoped . . .’

‘You hoped what?’

‘Oh, nothing,’ said Amy. ‘Young Sandford is just what she needs. He tells her she’s beautiful almost in every second breath and it works with Clarissa like magic. Why, it’s like seeing a clumsy, rusty piece of machinery being oiled and put into good working order. She presided over the tea table while he was here and you have never seen such dexterity and grace! Love has done what neither we nor her tutors could achieve.’

‘I have reasons for asking you to be wary of Sandford,’ said the earl.

‘I suppose you must have good reasons,’ said Amy. ‘Not as if a man of your years could be jealous.’

‘Dammit! I am thirty-two.’

‘Pity,’ said the incorrigible Amy, shaking her head. ‘But there’s none of us can turn back the clock.’

‘Good evening, madam,’ said the earl frostily. He marched up the stairs to tell Angela the good news about moving to a hotel. But instead of going to Angela’s room, he went straight into Clarissa’s without even bothering to knock. She was sitting at her toilet table, brushing her hair, which cascaded like a gleaming red waterfall down to her waist.

He stood behind her and put his hands on her shoulders and studied her reflection in the glass. ‘Don’t do anything to encourage Sandford until I get back,’ he said.

‘Why?’ demanded Clarissa.

His grip on her shoulders tightened. ‘Because I say so, Miss Vevian. Because I . . .’

She stared at the glass and saw his mouth descend to her cheek. She sat very still. ‘Do this for me,’ he said huskily.

‘But I like him,’ whispered Clarissa. ‘He makes me feel pretty.’

His hands moved from her shoulders and buried themselves in the perfumed masses of her hair. He thought of Sandford kissing her and suddenly could not bear it. His head moved round, blotting out Clarissa’s wide-eyed reflection in the glass and his lips found hers. His mouth was hard and firm and then soft and caressing. She twisted around in his arms and put her own arms around his neck.

Amy stood in the open doorway and surveyed the embrace with deep satisfaction. Then she crept off along the passage, rubbing her hands gleefully.

Effy listened breathlessly while Amy told her what had happened.

‘But he might go too far,’ she cried. ‘We had better go and see what is going on. His intentions may be totally dishonourable, for all we know.’

‘Spoilsport, leave ’em alone,’ said Amy with a grin. ‘The door’s open.’

‘Now, kiss me properly,’ the Earl of Greystone was saying as he closed Clarissa’s bedroom door and locked it. She walked back into his arms and he held her closely for a long moment and then began to kiss her passionately. He lifted her in his arms, and, still kissing her, carried her to the bed and laid her down on it and stretched out beside her.

His lips moved to her neck and then slowly down to the top of her breasts. ‘He hasn’t said anything about loving you,’ said a high, clear voice somewhere inside Clarissa’s brain. One hand slid round her back and loosened the tapes of her gown. Then he pulled down her gown and began to kiss her breasts.

‘Clarissa! Open this door immediately.’ Amy’s voice, high and angry. She had been urged back by Effy and had been shocked to find the door shut.

The earl pulled up Clarissa’s gown and retied the tapes and then helped her from the bed. Clarissa stood, her hair tumbled about her shoulders, looking the very picture of shame.

‘Don’t let any man near you when I am gone,’ he whispered fiercely. ‘Not even Sandford, especially Sandford. You are mine, and I love you.’

Clarissa’s head came up and her eyes blazed with a mixture of love and relief. The Earl of Greystone unlocked the door.

‘Ladies,’ he said, ‘I wish to ask your permission to pay my addresses to Miss Clarissa Vevian.’

‘Looks like you have already been paying very warm addresses, my lord,’ said Amy, peering over his shoulder. ‘Yes, of course you may.’

Lady Angela was in a bad mood. She and Bella had longed to get away from the Tribbles and into a fashionable hotel. So here they were and they were not happy one bit. The Tribbles’ household was very well run, the servants were deferential, and the food was excellent. Johnson’s Hotel catered for the nobility, but employed all the sharp practices of the lower order of London hotels. You picked up a vase and it came apart in your hands, because it had been cunningly glued to do just that. You rang for another vase and they promptly supplied it and put the price of it on your bill. Rabbit was served up under a heavy sauce and called chicken and a great many other dishes had long and fancy French names to add tone to the mess they actually were. Angela’s chamber-pot had fallen into two halves at a crucial moment.

It was not the discomforts of hotel life, which they had brought on themselves, that was so galling, nor the humiliating scene with Amy; it was the feeling that the earl and Clarissa were up to something. There had been a great air of excitement about the house when they left. Angela had never seen Crispin look so elated or so happy, and those wretched Tribbles had looked triumphant.

‘She can’t have lured Greystone into marriage, can she?’ wailed Angela. ‘A big giantess like that will probably breed and breed, and there’ll be nothing left for poor Tom or Peregrine.’

‘Not to mention me,’ said Bella acidly.

‘She seemed set on Sandford only the other day,’ wailed Angela. ‘Though how Sandford could even look at her with you in the room, Bella, I do not know.’

‘I think,’ said Bella slowly, ‘that Sandford has proposed and been accepted. That is why those horrible Tribbles were looking so pleased with themselves. Clarissa is to be at the Herveys’ breakfast this afternoon. We will be able to observe her there.’

‘Sandford only met her for the first time at the ball. He can’t have proposed. It must be Crispin.’

‘Come, Mama, he would surely have told us.’

‘No, he wouldn’t; nasty, secretive thing,’ said Angela. ‘Let us see if there is some way we can shame her at the breakfast. It would get back to Crispin’s ears and might give him a disgust of her.’

Lord Sandford looked up rather guiltily as he found Sir Jason looming over him in the coffee room of the club to which they both belonged.

‘Well, Sandford?’ demanded Sir Jason. ‘Where are the papers?’

‘You are rushing me,’ said Lord Sandford. ‘I cannot just say to a girl I danced with only a short time ago, “Take me up to your bedroom and let me see your jewel box.”’

‘Where is your fire and passion, man? Tell her they are love letters stolen from you and you must have them back. I told you what to say. Time is running out. Do you want money or don’t you? One word from me, and all the duns and debtors will be on your father’s doorstep.’

‘Why are you threatening me?’ asked Lord Sandford plaintively. ‘I thought all this was a lark. I mean, no one in their right mind would want to help Boney. If I thought for a minute he had one hope, I would have nothing to do with it.’

Sir Jason sat down and hitched his chair close. ‘She goes to the Herveys’ breakfast. Be there. Promise her marriage, promise her anything, but get those papers or it will be the worse for you.’

Lord Sandford recoiled from the vicious painted face thrust so close to his own. ‘I say,’ he said weakly. ‘No need to turn nasty. I’ll get them. She’s already eating out of my hand.’

For if my libations exceed three,
I feel my heart becomes so sympathetic,
That I must have recourse to black
Bohee
;
’Tis pity wine should be so deleterious,
For tea and coffee leave us much more serious.

Lord Byron

As the earl rode out early the next morning, he was still amazed that he had had the good sense to find out he was in love with Clarissa.

He had been prepared to see her marry someone else, had looked on her with affection and admiration, and then Amy had goaded him. A smile curved his lips. He wondered now if Amy had goaded him deliberately. Was that part of their job? To jog the minds and affections of their ‘impossibles” suitors? Perhaps if he had left things one more day, Sandford might have proposed and Clarissa might have accepted.

Sandford! He spurred his horse. It would probably turn out that Sir Jason made his money card-sharping and that Sandford was a respectable young man.