Finding You: The Switched Series book one (11 page)

When I finally feel Ash’s breathing even out, I know he is asleep. I slowly and very quietly climb out of bed trying to keep him from waking up. I knew he would try to stop me, but I also knew if he really knew who I was he would hate and resent me forever. I have no choice, I have to leave. This entire family here probably hates me. I made the biggest mistake of my life deciding to come here and now I will have to live with the consequences. Now I know what it was like to have a family, to have parents and brothers. It is the greatest feeling, but I have to leave. I know I can’t just sneak out. They would think someone kidnapped me and have everybody looking for me. I definitely don’t need that. My biggest fear is stepping out in the night and looking straight into those blue eyes that live in my nightmares every night.

I decide the best thing is to leave a note telling them not to come looking for me. I search Ash’s kitchen until I find a notepad and a pen. Sitting at the kitchen table, I try to think of the best way to tell the person who broke down all of your walls and made you fall in love with them that you were actually the person who ruined their life. He probably even hates me more than his dad. There is no way this could end well. I have decided in this moment, no more lies. From now on, it is going to have to be the truth. Secrets and lies will always make things worse. From now on that was over. I quickly write everything I want him to know and take it back to the bedroom. I lay it on the pillow beside him, look at him for the last time and get out of there.

I go back to the hotel and pack two bags as quickly as I can and head straight for the airport. I know they will be looking soon. I leave my car at the airport. I know they will find it, but I will make sure there iss no way they can find me. I have gotten pretty good at hiding after all.

Chapter Thirteen

Ash

I wake up with the night before on my mind. I still can’t believe Callie kept that secret for ten years. I’m also not sure I completely understand why she chose to be alone all that time. I look over to watch her sleeping, but instead I find the bed empty. I sit up and look around the room. That’s when I see it. A note on the pillow with my name on it, please don’t let this mean she left. I quickly grab the note and open it.

Dear Ash,

I can’t thank you enough for helping me realize it’s okay to let people in. Thank you for letting me in. I wish I had met you before, maybe in another lifetime would have been nice. I know I’m hurting you by leaving right now, but trust me when I say it’s the best decision for both of us. I can’t begin to tell you how much it meant to me to hear you say you loved me last night. It’s been about ten years since someone told me that. I know I didn’t say it back, but I do love you. I don’t know when it happened, but I fell completely in love with you and that’s why I have to leave you.

I am beginning to understand just how great consequences can be when you make choices, especially the wrong ones. I now understand why I should have found my family sooner. I missed out on ten years of having a family I will never get back. Maybe Molly and I could have actually been friends, probably not, but it never hurts to dream.

Unfortunately, keeping that secret for ten years hasn’t been my biggest mistake. I made the biggest mistake of my life the night my parents died. I will have to live with this forever. You never realize how your decisions will affect other lives until you realize it has the hurt the most important person in your life. I now realize this. I know I owe you an explanation, but I can’t write it on here. I feel pretty confident you will find out about it soon and you will hate me.

Please do one thing for me. Find your dad. Talk to him. Get to know him again. I know he loves you and is a great man. He has to be to have been a part of bringing you into this world. I promise you that it was not his fault you lost your mom and sister. Please stop blaming him. I know for a fact he was doing his job and trying to help someone else that night. I am so sorry you had to lose your family. I know from experience how it feels and would never wish that on anyone .Unfortunately, I am doing it twice. Please tell the Taylors I am so sorry leaving this way and please tell everyone not to come looking for me. I will never regret the decision I made to come here because I have been able to meet some of the greatest people I will ever know.

My only request is that none of you come looking for me. I promise it has to be this way for everyone. This is the best decision. I will be fine.

I’ll love you for always,

Callie

What is this? She actually left. She promised last night she would stay with me and now she’s gone. Why would she do that? I’m trying to think back to our conversation last night to see what could have possibly changed her mind when the banging on my door starts. I guess I’m not the only one realizing she’s gone.

I go into the living room to open the door to find Leighton, Brody, Bo, Cindy and my dad all standing there. Why is my dad standing here?

“Please say Callie is here,” Leighton says, barging into my house.

“She was, but when I woke up she was gone,” I say, watching my dad look at me. Why would Callie try to convince me to give him a second chance? It’s not like she’s known him that long.

“She must have come to the hotel and packed. All of her bags are gone. She left. What did she say to you? Was she really that upset about last night?” Leighton keeps screaming all of these questions at me, but I ignore her.

“We can track her car or cell phone. She has to have them,” I say, looking at Brody.

“Already have,” he says. “Her phone is off and her car is at the airport. We are tracing her credit cards now. She didn’t use one at the airport in her name. We are trying to figure out how she did it. More than likely she just paid someone in cash to buy her ticket. She did hit the ATM at the airport though. She took out five thousand dollars. I don’t think she’s planning on using her credit or debit cards anytime soon. What did she say to you last night?”

“She said she wouldn’t leave. Then I woke up this morning to this confusing letter and no Callie,” I say, trying to keep my temper under control. Do they really think I would say something to her to make her leave?

“Can we see the letter?” Cindy asks me saying something for the first time this morning.  I don’t want her to see it. It’s private. It means everything to me because that girl means everything to me, but I walk over and hand it to her. Maybe then they will understand why I would never want her to leave.

Bo, Cindy and Brody are all reading the letter while I’m just standing there feeling very uncomfortable when all of a sudden Leighton walks over to my dad. “Where do you think she would go?” I hear her ask him. Why would he know where she is? I feel like I’m missing something. Something big, I just can’t figure out what it is. He whispers something to her but I can’t hear what he says. Why would Leighton call my dad when she figured out Callie was gone. I am definitely missing something.

“Can I see the letter?” My dad asks, looking at me.

“I don’t see why not, half of it is about you,” I say to him shrugging. He doesn’t look surprised just takes the letter from Cindy and starts reading it. He finishes the letter and walks over to hand it back to me.

“What did you talk about last night? What did you tell her?” he asks me like he really expects me to tell him anything. I just look at him saying nothing.

“Okay,” he says. “At least tell me what you said to her about me. If you will do that, I will tell you the biggest mistake she made the night her parents died.”

“How would you know that?” Brody, Bo, Cindy and I all ask at the same time. He just looks at me and asks again what I said about him.

“I told her about mom and Annie. About the night they died. I thought it might help if she knew I actually did know how she felt. All I said about you was you were gone that night and you should have been home with them.”

“Is that all you told her about me?” he asks again, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

“Yes, that’s it. She did ask your name and then she asked when it happened, the date. I thought that was odd, but I figured she was just trying to get her mind off of everything that had happened,” I say, watching him dial a number.

He has the phone to his ear when he says something into it making everything a little more confusing. “Callie, call me now. I’m fixing to tell them everything. You should have come to me, not run off. Please call me back as soon as you can.”

What is he talking about? Why should she have gone to him? I am beyond confused now. “Did you ask her when her parents died, the date?” he asks me.

“No I didn’t. I don’t know why that would have been important. I’m beginning to think I probably should have. Why did you just call her and why should she have come to you last night? How long have you known her?” I ask him.

He walks over to the chair and takes a seat. He doesn’t look at me, but he does look at Bo and Cindy. “I want you both to know everything I am fixing to tell you I kept a secret because Callie wanted me to. I hope you understand that when I’m finished telling you everything. No more secrets,” he says.

They just nod their heads at him and go sit across from him when he starts one of the most surprising stories of my life.

“I met Callie ten years ago. I was working the night her parents were murdered. I was the first one in the house. I found her on her knees in their bedroom sobbing. It was one of the worst crime scenes I have ever seen and she was just sitting there staring at them. I grabbed her and got her out of the room. She wouldn’t let go of me. I felt horrible for her. No sixteen year old should have to endure that. I stayed with her until we found somewhere safe for her to stay and then I helped get her to Florida a week later. I call and check on her ever so often. She didn’t have anyone and by that time I didn’t either. I tried to make sure she was never by herself on holidays. I knew she didn’t want to celebrate, so we would just go eat or something. I also made it to her high school and college graduations. I was so proud of her for all of her accomplishments. Most teenage girls would have given up or turned to drugs or something. Not Callie, she is the strongest person I know. I kept in touch with her just so I would know she was staying on the right track and okay.”

“You’re Clay,” I whisper, looking at him. He just nods at me. I can’t believe this. Did she really not know he was my dad? Maybe I didn’t know this girl very well after all.

“I was in shock when Bo called me to try and find her. I was even more shocked when he told me she might be his daughter. I knew I couldn’t go straight to her or y’all would know something was up, so I waited a week. I knew it was true after I thought about it for a while. Even if you take the looks out of it, she has the same mannerisms as some of you.  I really am sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I was just doing what Callie had asked me to do. With everything she was finding out about I felt like I needed to give her this. I had no idea she already knew,” he says.

I know he’s telling the truth, but I still don’t understand why this would make her leave. Was it really so bad Clay was my dad. Did she think I would hate her because he actually took care of her and not me?

“I still don’t understand why she left. Would she really run because she figured out you were my dad?”  I ask him.

“I don’t think so. I would have told her if I had known how close you two were, but she didn’t tell me. Did you say anything else to her about me, about that night?” he asks.

I know we are still missing a big piece of the puzzle. We have to figure it out because we have to find my girl, and when we find her, I am not letting her run again. Ever. I’m still trying to think of something when he asks me the strangest question.

“Did you ask her what the date was when her parents died?”

“Of course not,” I say. “That’s not really a question you ask somebody. Most people try to forget that night, not relive it.”

I haven’t really looked at my dad in a very long time. I can’t help but notice when he is walking toward me how old he is looking. For the first time in ten years I actually start to feel bad that I have kept him out of my life. Not that I’ve had a very exciting life, but he is my dad. I never imagined he had been out taking care of someone who had lost everything.

I have to find Callie. I have to tell her I didn’t care that she had my dad when I didn’t. I was glad she had someone looking out for her. I wouldn’t change that for the world. She deserves to be taken care of. I hope she doesn’t think I would ever stop her from having a relationship with both of us.

“We have to find her,” I say, looking at everyone in the room. They are all looking at me like I am still missing the final piece and they feel sorry for me.

“Ash, the date her parents died,” my dad says to me again.

“I don’t know, I told you I didn’t ask her. I don’t understand why that would be important. Shouldn’t we be focused on finding her and not worried about when her parents died?”

“They died on July 4, 2004. Ash, I wasn’t home to save your mom and sister because I was with Callie. She begged me to stay with her and I did. I should have left and turned her over to child services right then, but I didn’t. I stayed with her and because I did that, I wasn’t home to save my family.”

He was with Callie. She is the person I have hated since that night. She’s the poor little victim that my dad was with when he should have been home taking care of my mom and my sister. I can’t believe this is happening. I make my way over to the chair and sit down putting my head in hands. I feel someone come over and put a hand on my back. I don’t even have the energy to lift my head to see who it is. I’m thinking it’s Cindy, but I’m not sure. I don’t know if I will ever be sure of anything anymore.

“Please tell me you didn’t unintentionally tell her you hate her or something like that,” Brody says in an unusual serious tone. I lift my head to look at him and I know he can see the truth in my eyes. I did say that to her. I can’t blame her for leaving, but I will find her and I will bring her back.

“I don’t hate her,” I say to Brody. “I have to find her. I need her here with me, forever. We have to find her. I don’t even know where to start. What have you got?” I ask him, finally standing up to go get dressed. I know it’s going to be a long day, but I will find my girl and I will make sure she never feels hated again.

“We know you don’t hate her. We have all made a mess of this whole situation. We will find her and we will all keep her here,” Cindy says, walking over to give me a hug when I come back in the room. “I’m glad you found each other.  She loves you. She said it in the letter. You will get her back. We will find a way for all of this to work out.”

I look around the room and notice Leighton has disappeared. “Where did Leighton go?” I ask.

“She went outside to make a phone call. I think she’s pretty hurt Callie didn’t tell her about knowing who her parents were. I think they tell each other everything and she just left without even saying bye,” Brody answers, looking at my laptop in front of him. “I’m trying to get a list of all the flights out of Nashville this morning since we know that’s where she left from. Maybe then we can narrow it down to where she might be now.”