Finding Trust (Finding Series, Book 2) (4 page)

Her eyes found Finn who carefully stood to face her. One of her gnarled hands reached out to pat his cheek. “My grandson did wrong by you. We all did.”

“It’s okay,” Finn began to say, but Mrs. Greene shook her head.

“No, no it’s not. But maybe we can start to make it right.” She looked at him almost lovingly, then turned her sharp gaze on Callan. “Mr. Bale, may I borrow your kitchen for a bit? I’ve got some lemonade to make.”

Callan nodded and then his hand settled on the back of Finn’s neck. “Why don’t you go help Mrs. Greene get set up and then maybe lie down for a bit?”

Finn nodded solemnly, testament to how much pain he was probably still in.

“Come on, baby,” Rhys said gently as he tucked Mrs. Greene’s box under one arm and led Finn back to the house with the other.

“Mrs. Greene, would you mind watching over Emma for a bit so I can help out. It’s too warm out here for her,” Dane asked.

“Of course,” she said and tucked her arm into his free one. It took only a few minutes to get Emma settled with Mrs. Greene and then he and Rhys were heading back down towards the barn.

“Couldn’t help but notice you’re still with our new friend there,” Rhys said as he glanced at Jax who was helping to load debris. The familiar pang of want settled in Dane’s gut at the sight.

“He gave me a ride last night and today since my truck is still out of commission.”

“We were lucky as hell that he was here yesterday,” Rhys said. “Things would have ended a lot differently otherwise.”

Dane didn’t realize he’d slowed to a stop until Rhys actually had to turn around and walk back a few steps. “You okay?” Rhys asked with concern.

Dane shook his head. “He told me about Rawlings.”

Rhys stiffened. “What did he tell you exactly?”

“Enough to remind me he’s unpredictable and dangerous. And after he shot that man in cold blood yesterday…”

“Wait, what?” Rhys interjected. “What are you talking about?”

“He fired into that window without giving the guy a chance to give himself up.”

“Jesus, Dane, is that what you think?”

A cold feeling settled in Dane’s stomach at the disbelief in Rhys’ voice. Shit, had he somehow gotten this all wrong?

“Jax shot Rollins because he was aiming his gun at your daughter.” Horror swept through Dane at Rhys’ words and speech eluded him as Rhys continued. “That fucker was yelling at me to stay back or he’d shoot Emma. I saw the look in Rollins’ eyes – no doubt in my mind he would have done it.”

Dane couldn’t stop the bile that rose in his throat and he leaned over and retched into the dirt. He heard Rhys asking him if he was okay, but he couldn’t stop heaving even after the contents of his stomach were empty. His precious daughter had been hanging on the edge of death as he’d stood by helpless to do anything and the only reason she was still with him was because the miracle of fate had dropped Jaxon Reid into their lives at that very moment. And he’d treated the man like shit instead of getting on his hands and knees and thanking him for saving his child’s life.

A large hand settled over his back and he knew instantly whose it was. The whooshing sound in his ears finally let up enough to hear Jax saying his name as he rubbed his hand in gentle circles over Dane’s back.

“I’m okay,” he managed to croak out as he wiped his mouth with his shirt. “It’s the heat,” he said and hoped to God Rhys wouldn’t contradict him. “I’m just gonna go get cleaned up,” he muttered as he pulled away from the hand he wanted nothing more than to lean into. He hurried back to the small house and mumbled a quick excuse to Mrs. Greene about needing to use the bathroom, then locked himself in and tried to get himself under control. He managed to run some water over his face, but the second he looked up at his reflection in the mirror all the self-disgust came back and he slammed his hand into the glass hard enough so that he no longer had to look at the worthless piece of shit staring back at him.

***

“What happened to your hand?” Jax asked as he glanced at the bandage covering Dane’s palm. He’d been surprised that the vet had asked him for a ride home considering he just as easily could have gotten one from Callan or Rhys. Not that he had any intention of letting the man out of his sight just yet since he wasn’t convinced that the threats to Dane were completely extinguished.

“Snagged it on a nail,” Dane responded quietly. Why the hell did the man sound so broken all of a sudden? At least before he’d just been withdrawn. But now it was like the life was draining out of him. Even Emma’s incessant, adorable baby babble wasn’t cracking through whatever funk the man had fallen into.

“Dane, I need to ask you something,” Jax said as they neared the house. He wasn’t surprised when he received no response. “The people in town know you’re gay, right?”

Dane only nodded.

“Do you think they’d act on it the way they did with Finn and Callan?” Dane kept staring out the window though Jax doubted his hollow eyes were actually seeing any of the scenery that flew by.

“No.”

Jax bit back his irritation at the simple response and turned into Dane’s driveway. He got out and went around to the passenger side to help Dane with the car seat. Emma was flapping her arms and smiling at her father, but Dane didn’t seem to notice. Jax grabbed him before he could release the car seat from the base and pushed Dane against the car door. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

Dane just stared at him, his eyes blank. It actually frightened Jax and he whispered, “Talk to me, Dane” as he ran his thumb over the man’s lower lip. His touch finally elicited a reaction though it wasn’t the one he wanted. It was shame he saw, not desire.

“You should go, Jax. Thank you for everything,” Dane said, then pushed past him and grabbed the car seat and disappeared into the house. Even from where he stood in the driveway, Jax could hear the lock engage. Fucking dismissed like he was nothing. Jax ripped the car seat base out and managed to curb the urge to hurl it at the house. Instead, he trotted up the porch stairs and dropped the base next to the door. He got back in his car and backed out of the driveway and floored it the second he put the car in drive. Two miles later he was pulling over to the side of the road.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” he snarled as he slammed his hands down on the steering wheel. He was done! He was fucking done with the guy! So why the hell couldn’t he make himself drive any farther? He snatched up his phone and dialed.

“You cross the border yet?” came the voice on the other end.

“I’m still in Montana.”

There was a sigh on the other end. “Let me guess – it’s complicated.”

“There’s a guy-” Jax began.

“When isn’t there?”

“Fuck off. It’s not like that. He’s got a kid.” He knew the wheels in his friend’s head were already turning so he quickly said, “I think the guy’s in trouble. I just need to make sure before I leave.”

“Okay. You need me to do anything?”

“No. Should just be another day or two,” Jax responded.

“Jax,” the other voice said and Jax tensed at the softness there. “Is it really just about making sure the guy and his kid are safe?”

“Yeah,” Jax said, trying hard to keep the hurt out of his voice. “He thinks I’m shit.” Hell, why had he gone and said that?

Another long pause on the other end of the line. “I’d tell you to let the fucker rot and just come home, but I know you won’t do that so just be careful, okay?”

“Yeah,” Jax said. “See you soon.” He hung up, tossed his phone in the passenger seat and turned the car around and headed back to Dane’s.

Jax leaned against his car and waited as Rhys pulled his pick-up truck to a stop in front of Dane’s driveway.

“Hey, what’s up?” Rhys asked as he rolled the window down and looked Jax up and down. Jax knew he looked like shit. That’s what sitting up all night in a car staring at a darkened house did to a guy.

“You here to give him a ride to town?” Jax asked.

“Yeah, he called a little while ago. Said the mechanic finished his car.” Rhys glanced at the house, then at Jax’s car. “Are you heading out or something that he didn’t ask you?”

“He thinks I left last night.”

“What’s going on Jax?”

Jax ran his hand through his hair and debated how much to tell Rhys. “It’s just a feeling I have.”

“Bullshit.”

Jax bit back a smile. In another life he suspected he and Rhys would have been great friends and probably more since the ex-cop was exactly his type. He gave Rhys a quick rundown of the possible intruder in Dane’s house as well as the guy following the vet on the street yesterday.

“Does he know?” Rhys asked.

“He thinks he just misplaced the bill. I didn’t tell him about the guy following him. Didn’t want to freak him out over something that’s probably nothing.”

“Yeah, well, any other town and I’d agree with you. So what’s your plan?”

Jax sighed. “Thought I’d hang out for another day or two to check things out.”

“Probably be easier to keep an eye on the hot vet if you were actually in the hot vet’s presence when you did it,” Rhys said with a chuckle.

“Fuck off, asshole. It’s not about that.”

“What? You got a problem with the kid or something?”

“Jesus, Rhys,” Jax said in irritation then fell silent before admitting, “He’s the one who has a problem with me.”

Rhys tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. “Look, I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but up until yesterday, Dane thought you shot Rollins in cold blood.”

Jax stiffened. Shit, if that were true then no wonder Dane kept looking at him like he was a monster. Not that it made much of a difference since his admission about his role in Rawlings’ death had obliterated any respect Dane might have had for him in the first place. “Doesn’t matter,” he finally responded. “Don’t let him know I was here, okay? I’ll stay on him after you drop him at the garage and make sure he gets back here okay. Then I’ll see where things are at.”

“You sure?” Rhys asked.

Jax nodded. “Good luck with things, Tellar. Looks like you’ve found a pretty good life here.” Rhys’ whole face softened and Jax had no doubt the man was thinking about his lovers.

“Maybe we’ll be seeing you around,” Rhys said with a grin as he drove past Jax and headed down Dane’s driveway.

“Not likely,” Jax whispered as soon as he was sure Rhys was out of hearing range.

***

Jax gave Rhys a quick nod as the man drove past him in his ancient truck. Rhys had dropped Dane off a couple minutes earlier at the garage and Jax could see Dane’s fixed SUV sitting in the driveway near the entrance. He had to wonder if the mechanic or crime scene guys had at least managed to get the blood and gore out of the upholstery before returning it to the vet.

Dane came out of the garage and carried Emma’s car seat around to the passenger side, giving Jax an unobstructed view of Dane’s gorgeous ass as he worked to get the base attached to the seat. He was too far away to see Emma’s face, but he could tell she was awake by the occasional arm movement and leg kicking. Jax couldn’t believe it but he actually missed the little rug rat.

A motion in his peripheral ripped Jax from his thoughts and he was reaching for his gun as the familiar black sedan from the previous day came to a screeching stop at the edge of the driveway. The same man who’d been following Dane jumped out of the passenger seat.

“Hey!” Jax shouted just as the guy reached Dane and slammed what looked like the butt of a revolver against his head, knocking Dane to his knees. Jax knew he couldn’t risk firing directly at the guy with Dane and Emma in such close proximity so he raised the gun above his head and fired. The stranger who’d been about to strike Dane again looked up and then took off running and jumped into the waiting car.

“Dane?” Jax shouted as he dropped down next to Dane who was holding his hand against his forehead.

“Emma?” Dane shouted as he tried to right himself.

“She’s fine. Right next to you,” Jax reassured him as he helped Dane turn so he could see his daughter for himself. The baby had gone quiet with the commotion, but promptly burst into tears.

“Dane, let me see,” Jax said as he gently pulled Dane’s hand away from his head. A nasty gash was oozing blood from his temple.

“Dr. Winters?”

Jax instantly whipped his gun up at the sound of the strange voice, then lowered it when he recognized Jimmy, the mechanic.

“Call the sheriff!” he ordered the startled young man who ran off to do as he was told.

“What happened?” Dane asked as he lowered himself until he was sitting on the cement. His free hand automatically went to Emma’s car seat and he began rocking it back and forth.

“Fucker hit you with a gun,” Jax snarled as he tried to get his rage under control.

“I didn’t even see anyone,” Dane mumbled. “Was he trying to take my car?”

Jax figured now wasn’t the time to get into details so he grunted non-committedly and began searching through the diaper bag until he found a small towel. He dropped down next to Dane and carefully pressed the cloth to his head. His heart nearly stopped when Dane’s eyes met his. “What are you still doing here, Jax?”

God, he would never get tired of hearing Dane say his name. It was like the man was stroking him with his tongue every time he said it. He was saved from having to answer when he heard a siren blaring down the street. Since the police station was actually within walking distance, it was no surprise when Sheriff Granger pulled up less than a minute later.

***

Dane nearly laughed as he leaned back against the passenger seat. It seemed like he’d spent more time in Jax’s car in the last two days than out of it. And having the big, dangerous, stunning man sitting next to him once again after Dane had finally managed to get him out of his life – if not his thoughts – was some kind of colossal joke that the cosmos was playing on him.

“How many is this now?” Dane asked as he closed his eyes and tried to will the throbbing in his head to go away.

“How many is what?” Jax asked.

“How many times have you put yourself in danger for me and Emma?”

“Not really keeping count.”

“At least tell me why,” Dane responded. His eyes felt heavy as the painkiller the doctor at the clinic had given him kicked in. He’d been lucky not to lose consciousness or he’d be dealing with the ramifications of a concussion rather than just a killer headache. He felt the car roll to a stop and he managed to pry his eyes open long enough to see that they were already back at his house.

“We’ll talk later,” Jax said as he got out of the car. By the time Dane managed to get out, Jax already had Emma’s car seat in one hand and her diaper bag slung over his shoulder. When he tried to reach for his daughter, Jax gave him a dark look and Dane quickly dropped his hand. Jax stepped in close to him as they made their way to the house and Dane had to admit that for once, he was glad of the man’s proximity because there were a couple of wobbly moments where Dane wasn’t sure if he’d be able to stay upright. Once inside the house, Jax kept him moving until they were in Dane’s room.

“I need to change and feed Emma,” he mumbled tiredly.

“I’ll take care of it. I’ll get her settled and bring you an ice pack for your head.”

Dane wanted to argue but didn’t have anything left in him so he dropped down on the bed and closed his eyes. What seemed like minutes later but could have been hours for all Dane knew, Jax was back and sitting on the edge of the mattress as he pressed one of Emma’s ice packs against his injury.

“Where’s Emma?”

“I put her in her plaything down in the living room and she fell asleep.”

Dane watched Jax in silence as the man studied him and the throbbing in his head began to intensify as his body reacted to Jax like it always did. He groaned and closed his eyes, though that did nothing since he could still feel Jax’s hard thigh pressed up against his hip. “I think you should probably go,” Dane muttered.

There was a slight pressure on his injury and Dane popped his eyes open to see that Jax’s lips were drawn tight and his entire body seemed to be consumed with rage. Jax grabbed Dane’s hand and forced him to hold the ice pack himself, then stood up to go. It finally hit Dane what he’d said and how it must have sounded. He grabbed Jax’s wrist before the man got out of reach.

“Shit, Jax, I didn’t mean it that way,” he began to say.

“Go to hell, Dane,” Jax snapped as he tried to disengage from Dane’s grip. Even in his anger, Jax was being gentle because Dane knew that Jax could have escaped him with little effort. Dane also knew he had to act fast before Jax walked away from him so he dragged the man’s hand down to his lap and settled it on the burgeoning erection there. Jax stilled and snapped his eyes up to Dane’s.

“This,” Dane said as he covered the warm hand that was now gently palming his dick, “does not help this.” He pointed to his head with his other hand. “And this,” he said again as he tightened his hand on Jax’s, “is never going to go away while you’re in the same room with me.” Jax watched him for so long that Dane was about to say “fuck it” and beg Jax to tighten his grip, but then the other man removed his hand, his expression unreadable.

“Get some rest,” Jax said quietly as he stepped away from the bed and left the room. Dane knew he should call Jax back to make sure the guy would at least stick around long enough to keep an eye on Emma, but then he realized that he already knew the answer. Only a bastard would leave without thinking of the little girl and Jax was no bastard.

***

Jax cradled Emma against his chest as he carefully removed the bottle from between her slack lips. He was content to just hold her which surprised him since he’d never considered himself much of the kid type. And since the only relationships he’d been in were the kind where talking about the future consisted of deciding whose place they were going to fuck at, the idea of being a parent someday had never even crossed his mind. But now with this baby in his arms and her confounding father upstairs, Jax was wondering if he was missing something in his life. Jax sensed he wasn’t alone anymore and looked up to see Dane leaning against the doorframe of the kitchen, his wistful eyes on him and Emma.

“How you feeling?” he asked, hoping his voice didn’t sound as needy as he felt. Dane had devastated him when he’d asked him once again to leave. The second the words had left Dane’s mouth, Jax had been ready to pick up the phone and call Rhys so he could hand off the vet and his daughter to the ex-cop and get his ass back home, lick his wounds and get back to a life where dodging bullets was a hundred times easier than trying to figure out the fierce, unrequited attraction he felt for a man he’d known less than three days. But then Dane had touched him – had had Jax touch him. And there had been that brief moment in Dane’s eyes where he was about to ask Jax for more and if Jax hadn’t known from experience how much pain the other man was in, he would have been shoving his dick deep inside of Dane’s welcoming heat before the man even finished asking him to do it.

“Better,” Dane said quietly as he went to the cabinet and fished out some aspirin. He sat down in the chair kitty-corner from Jax and reached over to run his finger over his daughter’s cheek. Jax watched in surprise when Dane drank from the glass of water Jax had filled for himself and he wondered if the man’s lips had touched the same place on the glass that Jax’s lips had been when he took a sip moments ago.

“It’s nearly seven. You up for some dinner?” Jax asked. Dane only nodded and Jax could still see the pain lingering in his eyes. “I’ll put Emma down. You want her back in your room?” he asked.

Dane shook his head. “It’s a bad habit to start.”

Jax chuckled. “For you or for her?”

Dane smiled and said, “Both, I guess.”

“I left a bit of a mess up in her room when I was changing her earlier. Why don’t you take her while I go get it cleaned up?” Jax said when he noticed the longing look in Dane’s eyes. He handed the man his daughter, then went upstairs. Since Emma’s room was fine, Jax went into the bathroom and searched out the supplies he would need to change Dane’s bandage and then took his time making his way back downstairs. As he re-entered the kitchen, he was glad to see the old Dane focused on his daughter, not the shell of a man who’d ignored the baby after whatever had happened at the CB Bar Ranch yesterday during the barn raising.

Dane gave Emma a quick kiss before handing her back to Jax and he carefully got her upstairs and in her crib. By the time he made it back to the kitchen it looked like Dane was starting to drift off. He took up the seat next to him and closed his hand over Dane’s where it rested on the table. Seemingly startled, Dane opened his eyes, then smiled sheepishly at being caught half-asleep. But when the man’s gaze traveled down to where their skin touched and didn’t move his hand like Jax expected him to, Jax felt his need intensify. He forced in a breath and removed his hand from Dane’s and then began unpacking the dressings he’d found. He absolutely refused to believe for even a second that his fingers were actually shaking as he was doing it.