Finding Solace (3 page)

 
"So…uh...
I need to get going. Colt, you definitely surprise me. Thank you for the lunch
offer, but I just remembered I have somewhere else I need to be."

 
I stood,
walked around the table and kissed his cheek. As I was walking out I heard him
clear his throat. I turned just as he said, "Sadie, there isn't a right or
wrong time for consenting adults to want each other and act on it. Do you
believe there is something inside of you that didn't want this?”

 
As he was
talking, he was walking. I started to move faster, not trusting myself at that moment.
Colt was making me question everything. He reached for me, leaned his head down
in the crook of my neck, pulled my hair back, and put his mouth right on my
ear. "That would be the only reason for regret. I'm waiting. Do you?” He
licked up the side of my neck until I shivered.

 
"I will
take that as a no. Sadie, you will see me again. Count on it.”

 
With that,
he opened the door and held it for me to walk through. We walked across the
street, side by side. It was almost as if I wanted him to take my hand. What is
wrong with me? I just met this guy and I have already slept with him. Well,
let’s see if he can handle this?

 
"Colt,
you do know I'm twenty, right?" He didn't even flinch. What does that
mean?

 
"I
think we will be okay Sadie." And he kept on walking.

 
I got to my
car, opened the door and was spun around and pushed up against it. "Do you
think I could kiss you now?"

 
I just
looked up into his eyes and I was done for. His head dropped and he took my
bottom lip between his teeth. Slowly he let it go and grabbed my top lip to
suck it. I whimpered and then it was like a light switch went off. His tongue
swiped in my mouth and went back to sucking lightly on my top and bottom lips.
Again and again, he invaded my mouth. My knees were growing weak. Colt put both
his hands on my cheeks as he slowly pulled back. Smiling down at me, he gave me
one
more small
peck and sent me on my way.

CHAPTER
4

 
After
weeks of talking on the phone daily, not only seeing each other every night
that we could, Colt and I were getting closer. I found out he not only was a
student at the college in town, but was a member of their wrestling team. No
wonder his body is so ripped. In fact, at one point when he was younger, he
actually wrestled for Team USA. Of course I asked him how a twenty seven year
old could still be competing at a college level, and that was when it got very
interesting. Colt was not proud, but he held his head high as he told me how it
all happened.

 
"Jamie
and I went to high school together back home. We were so in love that it was a
given that we would choose to go to the same college. Our sophomore year, she
got pregnant. I was disappointed with myself for not thinking about how it
could happen with no protection. I was also scared to death, but I knew the
right thing to do. I asked her to marry me. It’s not as if we weren't going to
get married when we were done with college anyway. I hated to admit that the
one thing I was really sad about was walking away from wrestling. I have been
wrestling since I was three years old. But Jamie and the baby came first. I
quit school and got a job running a bar. Maddie was born and when that
happened, any regret I had about wrestling vanished. She is the most amazing
thing I have ever done. Jamie and I grew apart after a while but we never felt
anger. It’s strange, but it was like one day we were looking at our best friend
instead of our lover. We both decided a divorce was best, but we are still the
best of friends. Because I never finished college, I still had two years of
eligibility to wrestle. EIU (Eastern Illinois University) contacted me,
offering me a full scholarship. Having a chance to finish my degree and I get
to wrestle again, there really wasn't much choice. Leaving Maddie and Jamie in
Oklahoma was unbelievably hard. But I do go back two to three times a month.”

 
That
explained a lot.
Colt working at ‘51’, being twenty seven and
still in school.
It let me know he was one hell of an amazing man to
manage all that he did. I was having so much fun just spending time together
with him. I never mentioned the age difference again. I was a self-employed
hair stylist. I rented a station in one of the best salons in town. I lived on
my own. I guess I'm just saying
,
I wasn't your average
twenty year old. Colt seemed to be getting a second chance at his college
years. Something about us just seemed to pull us together. It was as if our
maturity level met in the middle. Work and school always came first but in all
of our time off we would hang out.

 
One night
Colt surprised me up at the salon. As he walked in, all heads turned. It just
killed me how much attention just his presence drew. He walked with such
swagger, I think everyone in the room wanted to jump him. I know I did. It was
rare he came here so I knew something was up.

 
"Hey
good looking, what brings you here? Let me guess, you finally realize you need
me," I said, teasing him with a sultry smile as I closed the gap and
pecked him on the nose.

 
"No
actually, I wanted to tell you I'm leaving to go see Maddie this weekend."

 
"Okay,
I will miss you but have fun." It was always weird when he left. Not
because I had any problem with him seeing her. It was more like he acted weird
when he would return, for a day or two.

 
"Did
you need me to drop you off at the airport?"

 
"No,
that's okay." He gave me a soft kiss and walked toward the door. He turned
right before he pushed it open and smacked me with a look that melted my
panties.

 
"Will I
see you tonight?" He asked, making me feel so alive.

 
"Damn,
it must be your lucky day!" I blew him a kiss and he left.

 
I went home
after work, took a quick shower and ordered a pizza. Sitting down felt so good
after standing all day. After I ate, sleep seemed to pull me in. Around 2:00
a.m., a sound from the TV woke me up. I peeled myself off the couch and climbed
the stairs to bed. I glanced down at my phone on the night stand. He hadn't
called, that was strange. I guess something came up, but at least a call or
text would have been nice. But then, why was it strange?

 
It has been
a month and a half. Not a year and a half. I do not want to expect anything
from him. I wish I knew why he didn’t call, but I can only hope he will have an
answer for me tomorrow.

 
What was
even stranger was the fact I didn’t hear from him again all week. I called once
on Monday thinking he would be back by then, but it went to voicemail. The
following week came and went, still nothing. It was a Monday night, and of
course we all headed to the alley. I am not sure how bowling ever became the
act of choice but we all sure had a blast getting as drunk as possible and
competing. Everyone was there, except the one that I had not heard from.

 
Bryan pulled
me into a hug and said, "How can you always look so sexy? What I wouldn't
do to get in those pants again." He always played around with me like that
but there was some truth behind the again part and it burned to hear. Bryan and
I hooked up a couple of times here and there. In fact, I have been with quite a
few of the guys we hang out with. The difference between me and most girls, I
don’t hold them to some standard that hooking up means an automatic
relationship.

 
The rest of
my night went great. Jason and Mike ended up dancing on top of the ball return.
If it were not for the arrangement we had between the two establishments, I’m
sure all of us would have been kicked out a long time ago. Heather stayed sober,
for a change, opting to be our designated driver. When she eventually called it
a night that meant it was time to go. After the three of us piled in the cream
cruiser, Jason decided to crank the radio when he heard ‘Jack and Diane’ by
John Cougar
Mellencamp
. We all started screaming,
rather than singing. It is times like this that I know I will remember forever.
My friends mean the world to me.
But, in the back of my mind,
sat Colt.

CHAPTER
5

 
It
had been another week and a half since the last bowling night I attended. I
just didn’t have it in me to go again last Monday. But tonight was a big night.
We were all going over to Dave's to watch Mike fight. He had been training so
hard for this lately, and Pay- Per- View was airing it, so we all chipped in
for the cost. The fight was out of Kansas City, Kansas.

 
His opponent
specialized in kickboxing but Mike was one of the best Brazilian jujitsu
fighters in the world. Jason went with his brother of course, which left
Heather to be my wing man again. I missed the hell out of the times when it was
just us. As we entered the house, I got a chill that shot straight up my spine.
Something drew my eyes to the kitchen. Standing there talking to some girls,
dressed more like they were club hopping than hanging out at Dave’s house, was
Colt. What made no sense at all was as soon as our eyes
met,
he turned and walked down the hall. What the fuck is going on? I looked at
Heather and she just shrugged her shoulders and said, "Let’s get you a
drink. I think you’re going to need many tonight."

 
I was right
behind her walking into the kitchen through the sea of
hoochies
.
After slamming a few shots, we walked out on to the deck. What shocked me to
the core was when Colt (who I did not even know was out there) got up out of
his chair and walked in the house. Do not get me wrong, I had the urge to act
like I did back in the days when I was with James. I would have run behind him
begging for an explanation, for him to tell me what I did wrong. I would have
done anything to earn his forgiveness. But I was not that girl anymore. I
called Colt once, once since the night he decided to not show up or call. I am
not the one who went to his work and asked if I could see him later. I am not
the one who disappeared. So why am I being treated like I did something? Hell
no, this is not happening. I stayed out on the deck talking to Heather, Dave
and Dave’s friend, Geoff. We were all laughing at the fact that Stacey, Geoff’s
ex, was trying to get up on Bryan.

 
Heather
excused herself and went to the bathroom. I wanted to go with her and according
to our girl code, you always go in groups. But there was no way I was going
back in that house. Geoff continued to receive evil glares from Stacey which
sent us all into hysterics. Heather came back out with a strange look on her
face causing me to immediately ask what was up. She whispered in my ear,
"Apparently you need to pull up your pants. Your thong strings are
exposed.”

 
What? I
turned and she looked down and busted up laughing. Okay, so she was right. I
pulled my jeans up as she continued, "A certain person’s name I will not
mention didn't like the attention going to your ass.”

 
That was
fucking it! How dare him. I stormed into the house tearing from room to room. I
was going to find him, and when I did, so help me God. Walking down the hall, a
bedroom door opened and out walked Colt followed by one of the skanks from the
kitchen he was talking to. I slammed my fists into his chest. He fell back a
step and then asked whatever her name was to give him a minute.

 
"How
dare you!" I pushed him again. "How fucking
dare
you give yourself that much credit. To think I'm chasing you, that you’re worth
the chase. I called you once.
One fucking time.
It’s
been weeks. Did you really think you were so special that I would be pining
after you? You've lost your fucking mind. I'm not one of them. I never will be.
I didn’t deserve this and you know it, you piece of shit. Fuck.
You.
Colt! Go to hell!”

 
By this time,
a crowd had formed. I turned to walk away, pushing myself through when I felt
his hand grab for my arm. I immediately pulled it back away from him. Colt was
not going to make this worse. Heather was right there making a path for me so that
I could get through. She held out her hand and I grabbed for it like it was my
last life line. As we made it out of the hallway, Bryan and Dave were looking
at me with sorrow filled eyes. Not me! I did not need sympathy, what I needed
was to get the fuck out of there. I was almost to the car when I realized why
we were there to begin with, Mike. I was going to miss it all because of the
stupid
asshat
in the house. Well, he ‘was’ in the
house. That was before I heard the screen door slam against the house from
being flung open and saw Colt sprinting through it and right toward me. I
jumped in the car and screamed for Heather to drive as fast as she could.