Finding Reese (Tremont Lodge Series Book 1) (17 page)

“It can wait,” he says. “You’ve had enough news for the day.” He gently kisses me, and I soak in the taste of his lips.

“It’s okay,” I say. “I can handle it.” I stroke the butterfly on Finn’s neck and pull him down on the bed beside me. We lay there for a long time, looking at each other. Finn touches my cheek and kisses the tips of my fingers, his expression unchanged.

“Tell me,” I whisper. He runs his fingers through my hair.

“It sounds a little anticlimactic after the news you just got.”

“I want to know.” He rubs his fingers down my arms giving me goosebumps. He kisses my lips tenderly, lest he hurt me, but what Finn doesn’t know is that it’s not possible to hurt me anymore. I’ve proven that having your world turned upside down doesn’t have to be your legacy, but I don’t want to do it alone anymore.

“I’m leaving after the summer,” Finn says quietly. A shock runs through my heart. I was wrong. It is possible to hurt me again. I don’t even try to blink back the tears. He continues. “A few weeks ago a guest approached me about a job opportunity. He owns a new cruise line that is based in Florida. He wants me to headline my own show this fall. It’s…it’s kind of a big deal for me.” I shake my head like I understand, but inside I’m balled up in a fit of confusion.

“Of course,” I say. “You expected me to leave after this summer anyway. Why wouldn’t you have accepted this job? I’m just your summer fling.” I turn my head away from Finn.

“No, Reese, you’re wrong. You are so wrong.” He rolls me back over so that I am facing him, the tears streaming down my face. “I care about you a lot.”

“I think you should go to work,” I say, wiping the tears from my face. “I’m kind of tired.”

“Sure, Reese. I’ll come back later. We can talk more then.” I shake my head like I agree, but what more is there to say? Finn is leaving, and nothing we’ve shared together this summer matters. Nothing matters anymore.

When I wake up Bree is sitting next to my bed whistling a Maroon 5 song. Even that doesn’t cheer me up. “Hey,” I say.

“Oh thank goodness. You’ve been out a long time. Finn texted me an hour and a half ago that he was going to his show, and you’ve been conked out this whole time.”

“Sorry,” I say, pulling myself up to rest on my elbows.

“I was about to wake you. With a concussion and all—.”

“Yeah, I know, but I’m okay, Bree. There’s just been a lot of heavy stuff come through this head of mine in the last few days.” I tap my head and smile.

“I know, Reese. I’ve been filled in, and I’m really sorry.”

“Not everyone knows, right? I mean,
all
the stuff?”

“No. Only Helen and Tinley and Finn and me. Even Murphy’s still in the dark a bit. It’s best that way. It’s not really any of our business now anyway, right?”

“I guess not.”

“But, Reese?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you going to stay?” Bree asks.

“I don’t know. I mean, you’ll be leaving and Tinley and…Finn.” I bite my cheek so I don’t cry again.

“He told me.”

“I hate being played, Bree.”

“By Lawson?” she asks.

“No, by Finn.”

“Are you kidding me?” Bree stands up from the chair next to my bed and pushes it—hard—back under my desk. “Finn did not play you. He has been by your side or making sure that someone else has been this whole time, Reese. Are you blind or just stupid?”

“Damn, Bree. You’re being a little harsh.”

“Sorry, but Finn’s kind of the perfect catch, and you’re going to just dismiss him because he’s moving? I mean, did he tell you that you were a summer fling?”

“No.”

“Did he tell you that he never wanted to see you again after this summer?”

“No.”

“Look, Reese.” She sits down on the bed next to me. “I know you’ve had some shitty stuff happen to you. But not everyone in your life is motivated by something selfish. Don’t assume the worst.”

“It’s hard,” I say.

“Nobody said life is perfect or that what is good isn’t worth working for. Plus, I’m not going anywhere.”

“What?”

“Yep, I kind of dig it here, and though I can’t major in s’more making, I talked to my parents about taking the fall semester off. I really want to study abroad in the spring semester, and I could use the extra money I’ll make here to put toward my plane ticket.”

“That’s awesome, Bree,” I say.

“So, anyway, think about what Mr. Oakley offered you. And speaking of s’mores, I kind of have to get to work. Are you going to be okay now by yourself? No more long naps?”

“I’m fine,” I say. “Thanks for listening.”

“No problem. That’s what friends are for.” She adjusts the spider barrette in her hair and whistles
We’re Off to See the Wizard
as she gently closes the door behind her.

In the shower, I think about everything that has happened. How does one begin to understand the murder of her mother? The dismissal of the man she called father? The introduction of a biological father who didn’t want her? Every one of them abandoned me. The only one who didn’t make the choice herself was my mother.
She
loved me.
She
wanted me. That has to count for something, right?

I dress in a khaki skirt and green tank top and brush out my hair. Everything Bree told me about Finn is true. I’m done being the victim, and for once in my life, the path to my future looks clearer. There’s no sense in denying myself the happiness I deserve. I spritz myself with
Happy
perfume because it seems appropriate, slip on a pair of flat brown sandals, and lock my door behind me.

Finn is closing his guitar case when I see him behind the stage. The sunset is near as darkness is falling across the lodge, an omen I refuse to accept. “Sorry I missed your show,” I say.

Finn jerks up his head. “You scared me, Reese. I thought you were supposed to be resting.”

“Come with me,” I say. I take Finn’s hand and lead him across the lawn and behind the dormitory toward the employee ski lift. He leans his guitar case against the side of the chair, squeezing nearer to me.

“Reese.”

“Finn.” We speak at the same time, so many things wanting to be said. He grabs the sides of my face and kisses me softly.

“I won’t go,” he says.

“No, no, no,” I say. “I’m not holding you back from this opportunity.”

“I want to be with you,” he says.

“You are with me,” I say, kissing him back, my mouth enveloping his with as much strength as I have left. When we reach the top of the mountain, I take hold of his hand again and pull him off the chair. He follows me down the path that leads away from the restaurant and the party that is already in full swing behind us. “I don’t know how to get there,” I say, turning back toward Finn.

“Where do you want to go?” he asks.

“To the grassy hill where you took me after we went ziplining.”

“It’s kind of a hike from here. Are you sure you’re up for it?”

“If you’ll help me,” I say. Finn puts his arm around my waist and directs us to the clearing a few hundred feet below the top of the mountain but tucked away from view of the guests below as well.

“I would have brought a blanket if I’d known we were coming here,” Finn says.

“I don’t need a blanket,” I say. “I like the feel of the grass.” I sit down and pat the spot beside me where Finn sits, putting his guitar beside him.

“I meant what I said, Reese. I’ve been thinking ever since we talked. I didn’t expect you to cry.” He brushes my cheek with his hand. “I’m going to tell Mr. Dunken that the timing isn’t right. Maybe I can start next summer. But you have to stay at Tremont Lodge, too.” I interlace my fingers with his. I look deep into his eyes that are staring at me right now.

“Do you think it would be crazy if I told you I was falling in love?” I ask.

Finn smiles. “The only thing crazier would be if I didn’t tell you that I felt the same way,” he says. “Stay with me.” He whispers in my ear, sending shivers up and down my arm.

“I’ll stay,” I say. “I promise.” He kisses my lips again, as my body becomes more alive with his every touch. When we can’t stand it anymore, I roll over and lay against his chest, his arm holding me tight and making me feel secure. We watch the last strands of sunlight fade behind the mountain as we lay there together, not knowing where our future leads but knowing that wherever that may be…we’re in it together.

“Do you think she can hear me?” I ask. Finn sets the planter into place next to the simple headstone. I place the bin of pansies on the ground near the planter and bag of dirt we’ve carried from the car.

“I do,” he says. “I talk to my mom sometimes. I mean, it’s not like people hear me or anything. It’s more that my thoughts are directed to her. Does that make sense?” I watch the butterfly on his neck and wonder what it was like for him when his mom died.

“What do you say?”

“Whatever I want. I complain about my day, or I tell her about something good that’s happened.” He tangles my hair through his fingers. “Like meeting you.”

I smile and close my eyes, soaking in the warmth of the day. “Do you mind if…if I do this alone?” I ask. Finn rubs my back for encouragement.

“No problem. I’ll wait over there on that bench under the trees.”

When he is gone, I reach out and touch the letters on the headstone, tracing the letters.
Frannie Prentice   1976-1998.
It’s weird to grieve someone I barely remember. But what I miss the most is what could have been. I saw my friends. I went to their houses and saw what real mothers do for their families, and I never had that. More than supplying your basic needs, a mother fills your soul with confidence and a solid foundation of unconditional love and support. At least, in my mind, that’s what should have happened in my home, too.

“I’m sorry you couldn’t do that, Mom, because I bet you would have liked to if you could have.” I brush a loose strand of hair away from my face at the same time that a monarch butterfly lands on top of the headstone. It’s brown and black wings flutter as it rests for a moment, the antennae pointing in my direction. I suck in my breath and wave my arms toward Finn, hoping to not scare away the butterfly. When he starts walking quickly toward me, I throw a finger in front of my lips to caution him from talking and point in the direction of the butterfly that I swear is looking directly at me. Finn puts his arms around me from behind and rests his chin on my head. Together we watch the butterfly take flight in the direction of the setting sun until it is no longer in view.

“I told you,” he whispers against my ear. I turn around to face Finn, his arms still around my waist.

“I think everything’s going to be okay,” I say. His lips meet mine as we seal a silent commitment to our future, one where Finn and Reese live happily ever after with no more regrets and no more secrets. And for a moment, I let myself believe that’s possible.

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Loving Reese
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Finding Reese

Loving Reese

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Young Adult books by Marcy Blesy:

To Know Me
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To Know Me

To Love Me

To Forgive Me

To Choose Me

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To know me is to die...

Seventeen-year-old Mae is convinced that the consequences of her poor decisions have caused the untimely deaths of her dad, sister Laura, and grandma who all die within a year, no matter how ludicrous her thoughts seem to those she loves. The solution? Run away so no one else she cares for gets hurt (even if she has to keep a GPS tracker on her phone at all times).
Desperate to earn her diploma and salvage something of her life, she transfers schools when people get too close. After switching to Woodson Prep with only two months to go until graduation, Mae keeps her goals in sight. But when she meets Ty, the "perfect boy" with his own secrets and a relentless interest in Mae, she must decide if she can stop running from the past and still protect those she loves.

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