Finding Monsters (2 page)

“What’s wrong, Missy?” Charlie is watching me, concern showing in his pos
t
ure.

“I can’t help thinking of all the things I will never do as a human. I’ve never really done anything a no
r
mal kid would do. Nothing. Now I am going to die not kno
w
ing any of the simple joys in life. I wanted to try it all, Charlie. To run, play, dance, jump.” I trail off not wanting to spoil our time t
o
gether. Charlie studies me for several m
i
nutes in silence. I want to apologize for ruining the day.

“I can show you what you want but it will cost you,” he says.

I hope. His words set my tiny heart on fire. My
antenna
e
perk up in anticipation. I want to ask him how but that’s dumb. I’m a butterfly now and hadn’t even asked how that happened. So I ask the only other log
i
cal question. “What will it cost me?”

“For two hours as a normal human, it will cost you a day of life,” Charlie explains.

“So, if we do
this
…
” I hedge.

“You will die tomorrow.”

I swallow hard and consider the offer. It’s not a hard choice to make. I want this. I’m going to die a
n
yway so it would be worth it to just once, know what it’s like. Then a sickening thought occurs to me. I turn to face Charlie. He isn’t making eye contact with me as he concentrates deeply on the tree branch we’re si
t
ting on. “Will it cost you anything?” I ask my butterfly friend. He seems hesitant to answer. Turning aside, he flutters a few wingspans away. I follow and settle beside him again. I lightly touch my
antenna
e
to his. “Tell me,” I whisper.

“I want to do this for you at whatever cost to me. It will be worth it.”

He doesn’t answer my question, but I know what he would say. “No, Charlie, not if it means your life too.”

“I want this, Missy. I want you to be happy, just for once. Normal just once, please.” Charlie leans his head to mine and slowly intertwines our
antenna
e.
He watches my eyes for an answer. “Please.”

“Ok.” I don’t even think the sound comes out but Charlie beams at me and twitches his nose against mine. I smile, head butt my friend, and leap into the air. “So what do we do first?” I yell back at him.

Charlie quickly catches up and leads me to a secluded meadow. It is postcard perfect with wildflowers of every kind bla
n
keting the ground and filling the air with their intoxicating fragrances. On the way, Charlie explains the rules to me. We cannot allow any other humans to see us. We ca
n
not interact with anyone and we have to change back in two hours or we will cease to exist. I agree as we circle the meadow and land in the middle of a large daisy. Charlie looks up to gauge the time then enfolds his wings around me. The same light I saw u
n
der my bed surrounds us. I feel the change this time as my limbs elongate and my fe
a
tures return. I watch as Charlie transforms into a young man. His dark brown hair is blowing across his forehead and his greyish blue eyes are intently watching me. I reach up to touch his face and notice my hands are no longer sickly but youthful and smooth. My clothing changes from my Hello Kitty PJs to a light sweater and khaki shorts. Charlie is dressed in a simple black t-shirt and jeans.

“I wish I could see what I look like,” I say, still rubbing Charlie’s cheek with my hand.

“You look beautiful.” He leans forward, his lips inches from mine and says, “Let’s play!” Charlie springs to his feet and runs around the field with his arms out, airplane style. I am more cautious as I rise to my feet. I can hardly believe it! I’m standing and steady. I have energy!

“Come on!” Charlie yells, and I run after him. I laugh at the top of my voice and hoot as I chase Cha
r
lie around the field. I catch him once, and then I am ‘it’. I run like a rabbit across the meadow with Charlie close behind trying to catch me.

“You’ll not catch me today, my friend. Didn’t you know? I can fly!” We race around the field and through the dense trees for almost an hour. Charlie stops and looks up again, then sprints toward me and catches me in an embrace. We slip on the decaying leaves underneath the mammoth trees and land in a heap on the ground. I cannot contain my laughter as we both lay on our backs, panting for breath and clutching each other’s hand. We lay there, staring up into the treetop, remembering the joy of flying and the feel of the wind on our insect faces. Charlie pulls me into a sitting position and gives me a wicked smile.

“You’ll like this,” he says, generating the shi
m
mering blue light with his hands. He produces a picnic lunch complete with checkered red and white table
c
loth and a wicker basket with delicious aromas wafting from it. Opening it, he pulls out small cheese sandwiches and fruit. We dig in and eat several san
d
wiches apiece then devour the grapes and bananas too.

“Tell me something about yourself, Charlie.”

“I’m not really sure I’m supposed to tell you, but I come from a different world. The creatures there are strange but the landscape is breathtaking. There are portals between our worlds that appear in dark places. My clan guards these passageways from those who would find them the easiest, children. They are fea
r
less.”

“So you pretend to be monsters and scare them from checking too closely under their beds or in dark closets so they don’t find these passages?” I ask.

“It sounds weird, but yes. Only a few have the monster ability of the blue light to travel between worlds. Our clan is the gua
r
dian of that ability.”

“It sounds like a fairytale,” I say, not sure if Charlie is s
e
rious.

“Many of your fairytales come from our world, like trolls and dragons”

“They’re real?”

“Oh yes, very much so,” Charlie says. He packs up the picnic, making it melt away in the blue light. He then conjures up music from nowhere. Soft waltz music starts to play. He pulls me to my feet and holds me close. “Time for some dan
c
ing,” he says to me as he explains a few waltz steps. We start slow, allowing me to get the rhythm and then we twirl faster. I laugh at my clumsy dance moves. Charlie just smiles and co
n
tinues to spin me in circles. The music changes to a slower beat. Charlie pulls me even closer, and we start swaying to the soft mellow tune. He leans into my hair and inhales deeply, reme
m
bering, whispering, “I watched you for such a long time from my hiding place under your bed. So many times I’ve called to you. The times you replied, caused my heart to soar above even the heavens. The times you did not left me in despair so great; I thought I would evaporate from the pain. Now, you are here, happy, healthy. It’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.” Wordlessly, he leans in and kisses me. His lips are sweet like the nectar and soft as a flower’s petal. His arms surround me. I have never kissed a boy before, and I am glad I now have the chance. Ti
n
gles race through me. I run my fingers through his hair and hold him close. I pull back to stare at him. He’s been with me through all of my il
l
nesses and now, in the span of a few days, he’s shown me life, happiness, and love.

“Thank you for everything,” I whisper to him. He kisses me again then looks high above the trees. His expression tells me that time is short. I can sense it a
l
so. I pull him into another long embrace, my tears salting each kiss as I brush against his soft petal lips.

“We need to change back now,” is all he allows himself to say. Still clutching each other, the blue light envelopes us. I feel our limbs pulling apart until we are once again butterflies. We fly up into a nearby tree and rest. The hours have taken their toll on both of us, and we are feeling it now. Charlie watches as I rest beside him. We feel e
x
hausted but we don’t want to miss a touch, a look, a sound. Finally, unable to stay awake any lon
g
er, he falls asleep beside me. I close my eyes and follow soon after.

I
wake up sluggish as I guessed I would. Charlie brings me nectar and I drink from him the nourishing liquid until I feel better. He coaxes me out of the tree and into the sun to gain strength and warmth. Soon, energy begins to fill my body and I can fly again. Charlie leads me straight back to the cem
e
tery. We drink from the flowers in s
i
lence then nestle into a cozy spot to wait. I’m not scared of dying; I know it is coming soon.

“Charlie,” I say through a tired yawn. “Who are you rea
l
ly?”

“I’m the monster under your bed. Most kids have them but most overcome their fear and we leave. You were never afraid of me. I should have left years ago but I stayed and tried to keep you company when you needed it most. I don’t really look like a butterfly; I’m actually quite hideous,” Cha
r
lie says.

I laugh my little insect laugh, then sigh, closing my eyes.

“No, not yet, please don’t go,” Charlie whispers in a panic, leaning his head against mine.

I struggle to open my eyes. “I’m still here.”

Charlie blows out a
shudd
ering
breath that warms my face. “Do you have any r
e
grets?” he asks.

I let my eyes close again as I answer. “I have two. I wish I would have met you soo
n
er.” I feel his
antennae
caressing my face. “And I wish I could say goodbye to my mother,” I finish on a small sob. I feel warmth on my face and sense a small light glowing.

“Tell her now, Missy. Say your goodbyes. She will hear you. It’s my final gift to you,” he says.

I want to cry but I keep my voice soft and even. “Mom, I love you. I love you so much. I’m ok now, it’s ok to let me go,” I say. I hear her voice in my head; she hears me. I sense the light fading and know the link is gone. “She heard me, thank you.” I feel truly peaceful. “I have to go now. I’ll always love you, Cha
r
lie,” I say, as I feel myself slipping away.

“I’ll always love you too, Missy,” was the last thing I heard
him say.

I’m
not ashamed to let tears fill my eyes and roll down my face. I didn’t want my time with Missy to end. I glance at her again; she looks asleep and at peace. I make myself believe it. It is difficult for me, but I force m
y
self to stay alive until the right time. Two days pass. I eat from the flowers around me and sun only when the sunlight touches my wings. Then I see the procession of cars. It’s a small and intimate gathering of humans. I watch the odd ritual and wait until the box is lo
w
ered and covered with dirt and flowers. I smile to myself when I see the large tulips being placed on the grave. I only venture closer when the humans leave. I carry my beloved Missy to the site and lay her in one of the t
u
lips and then I lay down beside her.

“I’m glad we played,” I whisper as I close my eyes, wanting to join my precious human in death. The shimmering blue light rises inside the tulip and I hear the voice of my father.

“I’m here, son. Come home to us.” I don’t respond b
e
cause it can’t be real. I want death to claim me. I feel the warmth and comfort of the shimmering blue light as it encases me. My consciousness slips away as the blue light fades, leaving the tulip empty.

THE MONSTER

I
should be dead. I’m afraid to open my eyes just in case I am. The surface I am lying on feels soft like a bed but how can that be? I stir and hear the rustle of cove
r
lets. I clinch my hands and feel the soft blanket covering my body. It has all the fami
l
iar feelings of home but it can’t be true. I venture a tentative look. The room is dark and only small slivers of light escape the heavy drapes covering the windows. The stone walls come into focus, my room. A familiar hand soothes my brow, and I hear a voice beside the bed.

“Wake up, my son.”

I instantly recognize the voice of my mother. “Mother, where am I?”

“You’re home.” She continues to rub my brow, hair, and arms. She leans forward and I see her face for the first time in a long while. She smiles but her face is pinched in concern. Her large, gray eyes are moist from crying but she is still beautiful. I’ve really missed her face. She kisses my forehead and embraces me. I want to ask her why I am not dead, but a figure standing near the door interrupts my thoughts.

“Mother, leave us now. I need to speak to our son alone.”