Finding Me (7 page)

“So that’s when Mimi moved back to California? After they broke up?” At least Kelli was getting more detail than she’d ever gotten about her parents’ former life. She suspected that if she could keep Opal talking about Mimi long enough, there might be some true answers.

“Heavens, no. My Suze would never want to be a burden to anyone, or for us to worry, so she didn’t even tell us it had happened. She went and got herself a job as a waitress, worked long
hours and saved every penny until she was back on her feet. You know what a hard worker she was.”

To Kelli’s knowledge, no one had ever referred to her stepmother as a hard worker—fun to be around and energetic, yes, but hard worker, no. And money saver? Definitely not.

“Good for her.”

“Yes. By the time we knew things had gone wrong, she was already on the road to recovery. She moved to Santa Barbara and bought that house, got her job at the gym. A couple months later, you and your father came to town looking for a room to rent.”

She took another sip and then another before continuing. “She was a smart businesswoman, so renting out a room made sense. It’s a good idea to get some extra income when you’re first starting out. Your father was so much older than she was, and she’d never wanted kids, so of course it never entered anyone’s mind that he would convince her to marry him.” She glanced toward Kelli then, and the mist seemed to clear from her eyes.

Opal seemed perfectly sincere in her answers, but somewhere deep inside she had to know that with the high prices of Santa Barbara real estate, there was no way a single woman who worked as a gym assistant manager could possibly have afforded to buy that house. Not without help. A lot of it.

“So, she didn’t know my dad until he moved here?”

Opal paused for a moment, seeming to consider her answer. Was she trying to remember the official storyline they’d all agreed upon? “That’s right.” She tugged at the fringe on her vest. “One day, she called me and told me they’d just gone to the courthouse and got married. I was . . . stunned.” She shook her head. “It wasn’t exactly the way I had thought her life would go.” She glanced up at Kelli. “Well, let me just give you some advice. When it comes to love, you’ve got to use your heart
and
your brain.”

By now, they were in familiar territory, and Kelli had no
patience to listen to it today. “Opal, I just wanted you to know I’m leaving town in a few days. I don’t plan to be gone for more than a couple of weeks. I should be back by the end of the month at the latest.”

“Leaving? Where are you going?”

“Tennessee. There’s a little town south of Nashville called Shoal Creek.”

“Shoal Creek?” Opal’s voice came out deep, scratchy. She looked at Kelli hard, her eyes squinted. The grandfather clock behind her chimed the quarter hour, breaking the long silence. Opal slammed back the rest of her drink. “Don’t believe I’ve ever heard of it.”

“Really? Because I thought maybe Mimi—”

“Time to head out. We don’t want to be late for our reservation.” She stood up and grabbed her purse. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

9

I
am a nonexistent person. Apparently
the person I’ve believed myself to be for the entirety of my life does not truly exist. Which leads
me to ask these questions: 1) Why have I been
thrust into this nonexistent life by my father who claimed to love me? 2) Who is my real family and
what do they know? 3) What am I supposed to
do?

If Opal knows anything, she’s keeping quiet about it. I thought about pushing a little harder, but what
if she really doesn’t know anything? I don’t want to crush the good memories she has left—and
she has definitely self-edited most of her memories to
make them all good (the ones about Mimi, anyway). In
a couple of days, I’m driving to Tennessee. I’m planning to spend a week there and hopefully find out some more answers. Enough that I can go on
with my life. Right now, I’m not sure how
that’s possible.

I changed the cover of this journal. It used to say
Kelli,
but now it says
Finding Kelli.
That’s what I hope to do.

Find Kelli.

Kelli went to her parents’ house for the final time on Saturday. Even now, with everything moved out and the place completely empty, she expected to see her father walking down the steps, grin on his face, asking her if she wanted to go hiking up at Lizard’s Mouth, or paddleboarding at Goleta Beach, or kayaking at Leadbetter. It didn’t seem possible that he would never again do any of those things.

After her final walk-through with the Realtor, she handed over the keys. “I’d like to just sit on the steps for a few minutes before I go.”

Marian nodded. “Take all the time you need.” She squeezed Kelli’s arm, then hurried to her car as if afraid somehow the grief was contagious.

Kelli buried her face in her hands. This place had been her whole world for all of her growing-up years. Happy times and not so happy times, just like any other family. Only in this case there seemed to be one thing that most families didn’t have—it was all built on a lie. There had to be some sort of logical explanation for all that had happened, and Kelli intended to find out what it was.

“Sorry to see you go, neighbor.” Kelli looked up to see Julie Layton coming up the driveway toward her. Julie lived in Colorado but flew out to visit her mother on a regular basis. “I saw you over here and wanted to come tell you good-bye, and to tell you how sorry I am. About everything.” At fifty-something, Julie easily looked ten years younger, even with the no-makeup, slightly unkempt look she’d always favored.

Kelli remained seated on the steps but nodded her appreciation. “Thank you. It’s been rough around here lately.”

“For all of us.” Julie dropped down beside her, extending her tan legs in front of her so that her Birkenstocks rested on the edge of the lawn.

Kelli liked Julie, so she bit back her sarcastic response—her
week wouldn’t have been nearly so rough if she hadn’t gotten fired for trying to help Julie’s mother. But Julie hadn’t been the one to make the call, and either way, it was done now, no reason to burn bridges.

There had been Dalton Construction trucks parked at Mrs. Layton’s all week without even a pause. Kelli wasn’t sure how that translated into a tough time “for all of them,” as it seemed more than apparent things were fine for the Laytons.

“How is your mom?” Kelli asked. Mrs. Layton had seemed to believe Kelli when she confided about the overbilling. Had she approved of, or even known about, Kevin’s phone call that ended Kelli’s job?

“She’s devastated.”

“Devastated?” Kelli glanced down the street toward her house. “Please tell her not to worry on my account. We’ve got the restaurant opening in the fall, and I’m sure I’ll be able to find another job to tide me over in the meantime.”

“You lost your job over this?” Julie’s voice held true surprise.

“Yes. Jimmy fired me as soon as I walked in the door on Monday morning.”

“Because Kevin called him about Mom?”

“Yes.” Kelli looked toward Julie, truly confused. “I assumed you knew that.”

“No. And please do me a favor and don’t tell Mom. I think that would put her over the edge. She’s so upset already.”

“What is she so upset about, then? Because Kevin didn’t believe it when I told him about the dishonesty?”

Julie inhaled, cranked her face up toward the sky as if to drink in the sunlight, then slowly exhaled and lowered her head. “Mom’s moving to San Francisco.”

“Why?”

“Kevin called an emergency teleconference of all us siblings
on Sunday evening. Due to all that has transpired, he declared it too much of a burden to watch over Mom from afar. Since he is the one who handles all her financial affairs, and is the closest geographically, he is the one who has to drive down when there are health issues and whatnot. He found an assisted living facility close to his home and has made arrangements for her to live there starting next week. So tomorrow, instead of having a nice Mother’s Day brunch as usual, we’re packing up Mom’s things and getting her ready to move out.”

Tomorrow was Mother’s Day? Back when Kelli still lived at home, she and Dad had always made a point of fixing a nice breakfast in bed for Mimi, usually accompanied by a gift certificate for a day at a spa. This year, Kelli wondered how her real mother would be celebrating. “Your mom has always been such a do-it-yourself-type person. I’m surprised he could convince her to agree to a move like that.”

“You wouldn’t be so surprised if you knew Kevin better. He’s a master manipulator. He played it off to Mom that he wanted her to be closer to the grandkids, yada yada, and when she didn’t go for that, he threw in a whopping dose of guilt about what a burden it is on the family to have her so far away. That’s what got her to give in.” Julie shook her head. “Her independence was the one thing she always valued most, and now she’s lost it just that quick.”

“That is so sad.”

“I was the only one of the four kids against it, so I was overruled. Poor Mom, I heard her crying after she went to bed last night.”

“If she’s leaving, why are they continuing the remodel?”

“It’ll make the place look better when it goes on the market next month.”

“Can I go over and tell her good-bye?”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” She put a hand on Kelli’s arm. “I don’t blame you a bit, you did the right thing. But last night, Mom said she wished she’d never answered the door when you came over. Seeing you right now would not be a good thing for her.”

Kelli looked toward the Layton house and thought about the wonderful woman who had lived there for at least fifty years and now was having to leave because Kelli had tried to help her by telling the truth. Why hadn’t she just kept her mouth shut? It would have been better for everybody. “Will you . . . tell her something for me? When you think she is ready to hear it?”

“What?”

“Tell her I’m sorry.”

Julie sighed and stood up. She kept her eyes focused toward her mother’s house. “Yes, when the time is right, I’ll tell her.” She turned and walked away without looking back.

10

K
enmore made it just in time. He’d been putting money in the floor safe when he’d realized it wasn’t going to be so easy to get back to his feet. He reached for the nearby chair, barely able to grasp it with his right hand, and slid it toward him. Finally, he was able to push himself up. He’d just made it to standing when Shane pranced into his office.

“What’s the matter with you? You’re huffing and puffing like you just ran a marathon.”

Kenmore glared at his son. “What exactly are you doing here?” He reached forward and pretended to wipe a spot on the desk. In truth, he simply needed a place to lean.

“Glad to see you too, Pop.” Shane crossed his arms across his chest and grinned. “I could ask you the same question. It’s Saturday evening, supposedly your day off.”