Finding Jess (First Wave) (7 page)

Amun watched the relief wash over
her beautiful face and wished he had thought of this sooner. He should have
known that she’d have some hoarding issues after what she’d been through. It
was one of the many problems the computer had calculated that she might have
after her abuse. He would have to keep that in mind and make sure all of her
things were kept in an abundant supply; pretty sure she’d already hoarded some
of her new clothes and the body cleansers.

“Thank you Amun! Very much! You’ve
been so very wonderful to me.” Jess was able to stop herself from throwing her
arms around him this time, but not by much.

“I want to get you well, Jess. I’ll
do whatever you need to get you well.” Amun flushed with embarrassment when he
realized he’d said too much. He shouldn’t say things like that to her; he just
couldn’t help but make sure she knew how much he cared.

“I bet all of your patients
appreciate how much care you take with them.” Jess said softly, taking the
fruit and bread out of his hands and putting them back on the table to give her
something to do with her hands. The air in the room was suddenly thick with…
what she didn’t know; however, she could feel the change in the room, and it
made her nervous and excited at the same time.

Amun could tell from the look of
confusion on her face that he was too intense with her and scrambled to put her
back at ease, forcing himself to laugh lightly.

“Other than Cari and the girls,
you’re the only other female I’ve ever had the opportunity to treat. Trust me
the men do not think I am as nice as you females do.”

Jess grinned at the picture she’d
created in her head of Amun playing with Cari’s baby girls. She could easily
believe that he had charmed them as well. She remembered her mother telling her
that her father had been as wonderful as Amun was being. A part of her was sure
that if it wasn’t for those memories, she would never believe he was real, that
a male could be that nice.

“How about we get back to the
computer and see if we can have you learning on it by yourself before dinner?”
Amun suggested to ease the tension in the room and his own impulses to hold
her.

“I would really like that. Thank
you.” Jess sat down in front of the comm and waited as Amun sat beside her and
resumed their lesson.

It wasn’t long before Amun had her
laughing and giggling and learning how to navigate the comm system so that she
could learn not only about the things on Earth, but on Valendra as well. She
paid particular attention to the information on the Sibiox, so she could learn
more about Gibly. She was fascinated when she found out that they were
considered to be a dangerous predator on Valendra.

“Why are they thought to be a
dangerous predator? Gibly is so sweet, there’s no way he could be dangerous
right?”

“Until Cari was able to communicate
with Gibly, we had assumed that they were just an animal species native to our
planet. We really had no idea that they were not only a sentient species but an
empathic one as well. We are learning more about them every day, and the
information in the comm will most likely change the more we learn.” Amun
explained patiently.

“The collar that you made for him is
going to make it much easier for us to learn. We’ve been trying to find a way
to directly communicate with them for months now.”

He was genuinely surprised and
pleased at how intelligent and articulate Jess was for a girl who had been in
captivity and kept from the world. Her quick mind had absorbed the information
on how to work the comm much more rapidly than he had expected. And her few
questions had been carefully thought out, well-spoken and had shown a high
level of comprehension.

He had found himself enchanted by
her innocence, her quick mind and the shy way in which she tried to show her
sense of humor. She had an easy smile for him when he would gently tease her
that charmed him more every time he saw it.

He had also noticed that she had
been much less fearful when he touched her; which he couldn’t stop himself from
doing often. The feeling he got when he touched her, he could barely define.
His entire body came alive; as if the cells themselves were being charged and
reaching out to hers.

She was so engrossed in the comm
she never even looked up when he left his arm over the back of her chair; his
hand resting lightly on her shoulder. Leaving it there, he used his other hand
to begin running scans on himself. The findings were so surprising; he ran them
several more times before he could comprehend what it meant.

He continued to run more scans
until his comm reminded him it was time for Jess to have dinner. He considered
taking her to the dining room but quickly discarded the idea. He wasn’t worried
about whether or not she would be able to handle being around that many male
crew members; he was more worried about his reaction to that many males being
around her. The more he touched her, was around her; the more possessive and
aggressive he was becoming of her.

He called the dining hall and
ordered their evening meal to be brought again and then turned to watch her for
a few minutes. Her fingers flew quickly across the comm screen, pulling up
Earth information and discarding it so fast he wasn’t sure if she could read
it.

“How is it, I can read now?” Jess
asked, as if reading his mind. From the scans, he’d seen so far; he wasn’t sure
if she actually could or not.

“The first night you were here,
while I was working on your healing; I went ahead and implanted a translator in
you. I didn’t want you to be at a disadvantage if you hadn’t been able to learn
our language. It can be a little intimidating to have people talking around
you, and you can’t understand them.”

Amun watched her reaction closely to
see if she’d be angry at him for doing so without her permission, and wasn’t
really surprised when she just nodded her head before turning back to the comm.

He was a little worried about her
lack of concern regarding her own well-being. Although he’d like to think it
was because she trusted him; sadly, he knew that wasn’t the case.

She had never had any control over
anything that had happened to her since her captivity and most likely had no
idea that she could refuse anything or ask questions about her treatment.

The situation tore at him. He
wanted her to learn that it was alright to make decisions regarding her life
now, but didn’t want to take a chance that she would refuse any of her
treatments. He wanted her whole first; he needed her whole. He didn’t ever want
those scars and injuries to distort her ability to make impartial decisions
regarding her health.

The risks she took so far in order
to help rescue others, the way she’d trusted that creature to cut her throat…
he swallowed the lump in his throat that he got every time he thought about
that. He wasn’t sure if a part of her wasn’t suicidal, and it scared the hell
out of him.

He was brought out of his thoughts
by the arrival of their dinner. He accepted the tray and rushed the crew member
back out of the door, not liking the way he tried to stare at Jess.

She hadn’t even taken her eyes off
the comm when the man walked in the room, so Amun went ahead and set the table
for dinner before interrupting her.

“Jess, let’s eat, then we can go
back to the comm when we’re done.”

Jess took the hand Amun held out
for her and let him lead her to the table. She was surprised at how easily
she’d accepted leaning on him when she walked now. No one had ever helped her
before; she had always done everything on her own. However, now she looked
forward to feeling his large, warm hand in her own, his strong, hard body
pressed gently into hers. She almost felt like she belonged there, beside him.
She shook herself out of her fanciful thoughts.

She knew better than to think that
a man as wonderful as he would be interested in her. She sat quickly and waited
until he was seated across from her before picking at the food on her plate;
embarrassed that she would even think he could like her as something more than
a patient.

She couldn’t figure out why
everyone was being so nice to her or what they expected of her. Cari had
explained what mates were. But she didn’t have anyone, and neither did all of
those men on the ship… she was too terrified to finish the thought.

“Is something wrong with the food?
Do you not like it?” Amun asked with concern. He knew it wasn’t the food since
she hadn’t even eaten any yet.

“No, I’m sure it’s fine.” Jess took
a small bite of the potatoes, barely tasting them as the thoughts ran through
her head.

“What is supposed to happen to me
now?” She didn't mean to blurt that out. She had no idea why she said it, but
now that she had she wanted the answer.

“What do you mean, Jess? Right now,
the only thing you need to worry about is healing and getting well again.” Amun
wasn’t sure where her thoughts were taking her, but he could tell this was
important to her.

“I mean after I’m healed. Where do
I fit in? Where will I help? Will I be trained to fight, or to cook or clean?
I’m really good at cooking and cleaning, and I don’t mind working hard and
learning.” Jess stared at her plate and pushed another mound of potatoes around
with her fork; too embarrassed to look at Amun.

It took a moment for what she said
to sink in, but when it did, he wanted to explode with fury; n at her, but at
himself and the situation. He should have explained things to her sooner.

He fought for control and when he
felt calmer, he walked over to her chair. Turning her chair around, he squatted
down in front of her, so they would be eye level when he spoke.

He took one small hand in his and
used his other hand to gently tilt her chin up until he could look into her
beautiful blue eyes.

“Jess, no one here will ever hurt
you. I would never allow it. On our planet, the females usually take care of
their homes, go to school or create things. Of course, they cook and clean, but
on the ship that isn’t really necessary as the ships are designed differently.
But you aren’t expected to do anything Jess. Ever.” Amun was surprised at how
calm he sounded when he felt like he was shaking with rage on the inside. 

Her face turned an even darker pink
when she realized her mistake. The unexpected pain that stabbed her in the chest
caused her to jerk from his grasp. She stood up so abruptly he fell backwards
on the floor to avoid knocking her over.

“Jess, what’s wrong?” Amun sat on
his ass and pulled his legs out of her way as she started to walk away from
him. He waited until he could get up without knocking her over before pushing
to his feet and following her.

“Jess, talk to me. Tell me what I
said that upset you so much.” He knew it had to have been something he said,
but he didn’t know what.

She walked over to her bed and tried
to climb up on her own. He gently grabbed her arm to help her up when she
turned around and tried to push him away. The tears swimming in her eyes and
flowing freely down her cheeks were his undoing.

He picked her up into his arms and
sat her in his lap; easily pinning her arms against his chest when she
continued to try to push at him. He loosened his hold when she seemed to
collapse into him sobbing quietly. What the hell had just happened?

Jess struggled to pull herself
together, amazed at how much she hurt inside in places she thought had long ago
died. She never thought she’d long for that numbness again. Why would it hurt
so much when she barely knew this man? Why did she care so much what he thought
of her? She had no answers, but she did know how to protect herself from this
kind of pain. She’d had years to perfect hiding from it.

She could even understand why he
had said what he said; she knew she would never be good enough for anyone after
being nothing more than a Relian whore. He had been so kind she had forgotten
what she was; she just didn't expect the reminder to hurt so much. It was a
mistake she wouldn’t make again.

Chapter Six

It had been two moon cycles since
that disastrous dinner, and Amun was still struggling to figure out what had
gone wrong. Everyone thought he was crazy, but he knew damn well that he
watched her erect an emotional and psychological wall between them.

She almost seemed normal, and to
everyone else she seemed to be the same. But he could tell that she was different
now. She was colder and more distant, and although unfailingly polite and
friendly her heart no longer seemed to be in anything anymore. Except getting
well.

The new bones in her legs were only
put in last night, two-days ahead of schedule, and she was already struggling
to walk on them. She’d been at it for more than an hour now and showed no sign
of taking a break even, though he knew she had to be getting tired and sore.
Her muscles weren’t used to working around bones that were set correctly and would
require some retraining and reshaping.

Her healing ability seemed to
increase since dinner that night; the scans had even shown low level activity
in what he termed as the 'gifted' part of her brain. However, there hadn’t been
another incident of her creating something spontaneously so he wasn’t too
concerned about that.

He’d tried to talk to her about it,
but she lied and told him there was nothing wrong. No matter what he had tried,
nothing had gotten through to her.

“We need you and Jess in the conference
room, my friend.” Scaden said startling Amun.

“What’s going on?”

“Reven wants to contact Julou.”
Scaden left Amun to get Jess.

“Jess, Reven is in the conference
room and would like to talk to you about setting up the meeting with Julou. You
need to take a break anyway.” Jealousy flared when he saw her eyes light up at
the mention of Julou’s name. He tamped it down enough to gently take her hand
to help her out of MedLab and into the conference room down the corridor.

After helping Jess into a chair,
Amun took the one next to her and waited for the meeting to be over with. Jess
had to be exhausted by now, and he wanted her to eat something and get some
rest.

“Jess, as you know, I have decided
to meet with your friend Julou to discuss an alliance. Can you tell us how we
are to contact him?” Ivint asked gently. She had almost looked like a
completely different female when she had walked into the room. She looked like
she had already put on weight, and the haunted look was no longer in her eyes,
replaced with… he couldn’t put his finger on what it was... wounded maybe?

“I have to call him from an Earth
phone.” Jess said, easily telling the truth.

“If you give me the number I’ll
call it later from the planet and set up the meeting.” Reven suggested.

“No, I have to be the one to make
the call. If I don’t call he won’t trust you.” Jess knew she had to convince
them to let her make the call.

“Jess, we can’t get one of their
cell phones to work up here, and I don’t know if you can go back to the planet
in your condition.” Reven tried to figure out a way around the girl going to
the planet to make the phone call. He was going to have enough problems trying
to keep Ivint safe; he really didn’t want to have to worry about the female as
well.

“I have to be the one to make the
call. I’m sorry. I don’t think he realized you were going to take me aboard a
ship in space. He didn’t tell me what to do if you did.” Jess said by way of
apology when Reven cursed.

“Amun, is she safe to travel?”
Ivint asked.

“Not unless I go with her. With the
new bones in her legs, she needs constant monitoring to ensure the bones take
properly.” Amun stared at Jess’s shocked face while he lied. He knew for a fact
that she was lying so that she could get back to the planet. What he didn’t know
was why. Nevertheless, he was going with her and would find out.

Jess quickly hid her shock at
Amun’s blatant lie; just this morning he had told her that she was almost in
perfect shape and once her muscles and bones settled she would be perfect. Now
he was making it sound like something could go wrong at any moment.

He knew she was lying and was
making sure he was going with her. She didn’t know how he’d figured it out, or
even how she knew for certain that he was lying. However, she did know and was going
to have to alter her plans if he was going to the planet as well.

She wasn’t going to delude herself
into thinking that he cared that much about her, other than to make sure she
didn’t ruin all the work; he'd done trying to heal her. She couldn’t blame him
for that; he’d worked really hard to heal her. However, she couldn’t afford to
keep living in a dream world and had to face what she had to do. Turning back
around to wait for Reven to speak, she chose to ignore Amun. 

“Alright, we’ll get it set up
tonight. Get your rest; we’ll leave first thing in the morning.” Reven said
with a frustrated sigh. He wasn’t going to kid himself that he’d be able to get
rid of her when she made that call. The way his luck was going, she was going
to be with them longer than he preferred.

It was bad enough that Ivint had
ordered that Gibly would go as well because he’d been having a fit since he was
moved to the Draconia with the other women. Although he liked the creature, he
didn’t think there was a place for him on a mission like this. Hell, there was
no place for the injured female either, but Ivint didn’t want to listen to
him. 

“Yes, sir.” Jess said before
standing to leave the room.

“Thank you, Jess. I’m very glad to
see you doing so well. Are you feeling as well as you look? Is Amun treating
you well? He’s not pushing you too hard is he? He has a tendency to do that
with the men from what I hear.” Ivint said jokingly, trying to put her a little
at ease. She seemed much tenser than she had been the last time he’d seen her.

“I’m very good sir. Amun has taken
very good care of me.” She meant that too. She’d never felt better in her whole
life. Even the soreness in her legs and back was nothing compared to the pain
she was used to feeling. She knew that once she was used to walking without her
stumbling gait, her muscles would stop hurting. She was already walking in
straight lines and more quickly than she could ever remember walking.

“I’m very glad to hear that Jess.
Amun says you’ve been pouring through the information on the comm and learning
very quickly. If you have any questions, you can always come to me if you need
to child. And your uncle is continuing to express an interest in finally
meeting you…” Ivint left the sentence hang and waited to see how she would respond.
She’d been putting off meeting Lagor for two moon cycles now, and he really
wanted to understand why. The child needed her family.

“I’m just not ready yet, sir. It’s
all too much to try to take in right now. Maybe when we get back from the
planet I’ll be more used to walking on my new legs and won’t feel so
self-conscious about him seeing me like this.” Jess hung her head to hide the
blush she knew was staining her cheeks.

She hadn’t really wanted to reveal
too much to any of them as to why she didn’t want to meet her father’s brother.
However, she’d used so many excuses over the last two days that she knew if she
didn’t reveal some serious truth, they might try to thrust the poor man upon
her unexpectedly.

It was bad enough for him and his
father to know what she’d become, she didn’t feel the need to embarrass their
family further by putting them in a position to have to play family with her.
She had learned enough about her father’s people to know that they would do
anything for her, because she was considered family, and because she’s one of
their females. Truthfully, she wouldn’t have blamed them if they wished she
hadn’t lived through it. The time she’d spent on the ship was the longest she’d
ever gone without wishing the same.  

“Jess… child, I can assure you that
Lagor doesn’t care if you can walk correctly yet, or if you ever could.” When
she still didn’t raise her head, Ivint gave Amun a meaningful glare and
continued.

“Alright child, we’ll wait until we
get back from the planet. Go get your rest; I don’t want you over tired from
going to the planet.”

“Thank you sir.” Was all Jess said
before she headed out the door as quickly as she could and back into her room
in MedLab.

“It’s my fault that she feels that
way.” Lagor said quietly from the back corner of the room where Ivint had him
sit before Jess had come in.

“Lagor, it’s not your fault. She’s
just been through so much…” Amun really didn’t know what to say to the man, but
felt the need to defend Jess.

“You saw the way I reacted when I found
out she was the captive, and not the one Balduen was looking for. Maybe she
knew somehow… how horrified I was at what she’d been through.” Lagor let the
sentence drop, ashamed that he may have pushed her not to want to see him.

“Lagor, I don’t believe for a
second that is the reason she won’t see you yet. I believe it is much more
likely that the poor thing is a little overwhelmed. Look at what she’s been
through and in the span of days; she’s been healed and not in pain anymore, on
a ship in space with a talking animal not to mention everything in between.”

“I think she’s handling it
extremely well right now, but this might be asking a bit much of her too
quickly. Let’s give her a few more days to adjust. However, I want you there
with us Lagor. I want you to get to know her a little if you can, and I want
you to study her ability if she uses it.”

Ivint’s heart broke for the girl,
and he knew that she had only told him just enough about how she really felt to
make sure he wouldn’t force the issue for a little while.

“Amun, do you know why she is still
so upset? I had hoped that the healing would help her adjust better.”

“It’s as you say Councilor, we
can’t erase all of those years of abuse in a week by just healing her
physically. It’s going to take a little of time. Right now, she’s processing so
much; not just the healing and the changes to her body, but learning about the
world, she was never a part of and the new one we’ve shown her.”

Amun believed that she was having
problems with exactly those things, but he knew there was more to what she was
doing right now. Until he knew more there was no point in him bringing it up to
the Councilor.

“I can understand all that you are
saying Councilor and Doctor; I will try to be patient and give her some more
time. She is truly doing well otherwise Amun?” Lagor asked. He was worried
about the child. He’d never hoped to have a child of his own, but after the
initial shock of what had happened to her, he wanted very much to be a part of
her life. To help her heal and learn of her family, and her father.

“Physically she is doing extremely
well Lagor. Truly. And intellectually she is brilliant. In just days, she’s
caught up to peers her own age on the planet in learning. The rest is going to
take a little time and patience.” Amun answered the man as honestly as he
could. 

“Thank you... both of you, for
everything you’ve done for her. I’ll be ready to leave in the morning sir.”
Lagor said before taking his leave. Ivint watched him go; his shoulders
slumped, and head hung low.

“I’ll go talk to him and get things
ready for tomorrow.” Reven said as headed after Lagor.

“Thank you, Reven. We’ll talk
later.” Ivint waited until Reven and Lagor were out of earshot before speaking.

“Amun, do you know the real reason
why she doesn’t want to meet her family?”

“No sir, I don’t. But I’m trying to
find out; and help her.”

“I know you are. I can’t imagine
what she’s been through and how hard this must be for her… and Lagor and his
father.” Ivint said with a heavy heart.

“With all due respect, I can’t see
how this can possibly affect them as it does her. None of us can ever
understand what she’s gone through.” Amun said with more anger in his voice
than he wanted to display to the High Councilor.

“No, we cannot comprehend what
she’s been through. However, what they are feeling is no less traumatic.” Ivint
said patiently.

“How can you possibly compare it?”
Amun looked at the High Councilor with shock. Had the man not listened to her
injuries?
“Physically there is no comparison. But psychologically and emotionally they
are going through just as much. Think of it, Amun.”

“They just found out that their son
and brother has been alive all this time. They went through elation that he had
survived, to pain when they learned of his true death. Then elation at finding
out he had a daughter. Then pain at the horror bestowed on her, the only thing
left of him.”

“Add in that none of us really have
any experience dealing with females, especially not one who has been through
this kind of hell. And that is what they are facing. Sometimes Amun, it’s the
scars you can’t see that cut deeper than the physical ones. And that kind of
pain can’t be quantified.” Ivint saw the dawning comprehension on Amun’s face
and decided it was time to take his leave.

Amun watched Ivint walk away
distractedly, his mind already working on what Ivint had said. He was right; he
couldn’t possibly try to understand what Lagor, and his father were feeling;
and had no right to judge the depth of those feelings.