Finding Jennifer Jones (15 page)

And yet how could she even think about
her
pain against the murder of a nine-year-old girl? Was this to be her future? Living in the shadow of
two
dead girls? She closed her eyes and turned over, pulling the duvet with her.

The barbecue was well under way when Kate arrived.

“Sorry, I forgot the time,” she said, breathless.

“No matter,” Jimmy said and pulled her through the house to the back garden.

His housemates and other friends were sitting on a variety of chairs and cushions. Someone had strung fairy lights across the back of the house and there was a home-made barbecue on the patio, bricks stacked in a circle and what looked like the tray from the grill across the top of it. A coffee table was alongside it with paper plates and a kitchen roll for napkins. Jimmy did speedy introductions. The new girl, Karen, was there and she smiled at her. The smell of meat cooking was strong and Kate realised that she was hungry.

“I walked past the tourist information office today. I didn’t see you there,” Jimmy said.

“I had the afternoon off. I was in Exeter, shopping.”

“Is this what you bought?” He looked down at her clothes.

“No! These jeans are old and so is this top!”

“So you dressed up in your oldest clothes to come and see me?”

He was grinning. She tried to straighten the hem of her T-shirt. It was wonky. She should have changed but after the television news she hadn’t the heart to do it.

“Still looks good to me.”

He reached across and ran his finger down the side seam. It gave her a tingle across her chest. She gulped down some beer.

“I needed a few things. I’m going away for a couple of weeks with some university friends,” she said. “Camping in Exmoor.”

“Two weeks? You never said,” he said.

“It was a last-minute thing.”

“But I saw you yesterday. You didn’t mention it then.”

“I still wasn’t sure then.”

“Oh, right…”

He seemed put out. Kate knew she had hurt him.

“Someone dropped out,” she said, softly. “Everything’s paid for so I said
Why not?
”

Jimmy seemed about to say something else but they were joined by a young man with a can of beer at his mouth. He was unsteady. It looked as though he’d been drinking all afternoon.

“What have you heard from young Becky?” he said, ignoring Kate’s presence.

“Not much,” Jimmy said, looking awkward. “She says it’s freezing cold on the island and the wind blows in four directions at once.”

“That’s Scotland for you. When’s she coming back?”

“After Christmas.”

“You and her? Getting back together?”

“No!”

Jimmy looked at Kate, his hands out in a helpless gesture.“Col,” he called, “come and take Rob away from me in case I do him some damage!”

“Point taken. I’ve opened my mouth in front of this young lady. I’ve put my foot in it.”

Col appeared, looking harassed, a long-handled spatula in his hand.

“Come on, Rob. There’s a deckchair over here with your name on it.”

“Sorry,” Jimmy said.

A couple got up off some cushions that were on the grass. Jimmy took Kate’s hand and pulled her over and they sat down. Kate had her back against the garden fence. It felt cooler there, further away from the barbecue. There was food cooking and she wondered whether to get some. She was comfortable though, her hand cupping the cold beer can. The garden seemed darker here, the fairy lights shining brighter. She felt relaxed, comfortable, her earlier thoughts about Jodie Mills receding.

“The holiday was a really good deal,” she said, gently.

“It sounds great. And we can meet up when you come back.”

“Yeah, sure.”

She felt bad. Why was she spinning this story to him? In a couple of weeks he would know it had all been made up. Maybe it would have been kinder to end it with him.

“Sorry about Rob and his big mouth.”

“That’s all right. You don’t have to apologise about him mentioning Becky. I don’t mind you talking about your ex-girlfriend.”

“OK, I’ll talk about her, but you tell me about your first serious boyfriend first.”

“Why?”

“It’s only fair.”

“It’s not a game,” she said. “We’re not teenagers!
You tell me about your first kiss and I’ll tell you about mine!
”

She’d used a silly voice. He looked away, sheepish. She’d hurt his feelings.

“Sorry…his name was Frankie. He was in the last year of his degree and I was just about to come here. He was great, in all sorts of ways. He looked after me, sort of, but…”

Jimmy was looking into the darkness but she could tell he was listening.

“He wanted me to do my degree where he was. He wanted me to change my plans and I wanted to come here so it didn’t work out.”

“How long were you together?”

“About six months.”

“But it was serious, though? You and this Frankie?”

“I suppose you could say it was serious.”

“You were in love with him?”

“This is the third degree!” Kate said, smiling, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

“Did he give you the pendant?”

Kate remembered the chain and the heart, flat and smooth, the name
Alice
engraved on it, which had broken off her neck and dropped into Jimmy’s bed. He took her silence for confirmation that Frankie had given it to her.

“How come it had the name
Alice
on it?”

“My middle name. He liked it. It was a kind of secret between us,” she lied. “Now tell me about Becky.”

He shook his head. “I’m done talking about Becky. She’s out of my life now.”

“You tricked me! Can I at least see a photo of her? To see what I’m being compared with?”

She’d already seen a photo of Becky in the passport she had looked at. She was curious to see her away from the stiff pose that was required.

“Later. I’ve got some in my drawer, in my room.”

“What makes you think I’m going into your room later?”

“I wasn’t assuming, I mean… I didn’t mean
for
anything…”

“It’s OK. I was joking. You can show me pictures of your girlfriend later. When I’m in your room.”

“Chicken wings!” Col called from the barbecue.

“I’m hungry,” she said, “Let’s eat.”

Much later she was lying on his bed. She still had her jeans and top on although Jimmy had taken his shirt off. She was flat on her back but Jimmy was on his side, his knee across her stomach. The room was dark but they’d left the curtains open and the streetlight was shining in. From outside in the hall she could hear footsteps and hushed voices as the last of Jimmy’s friends left the house. It was almost eleven.

“I have to go soon,” she said. “I’ve got work tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry we didn’t…you know…It was just that I was afraid someone would bang on the door. That’s the problem with having a bedroom downstairs.”

“I don’t only want you for your body,” she said.

“That’s a relief,” he said, “because now I’ve got to go and clear up. That was the deal. Col did the barbecue. I clear it all up.”

She sat up. “What about the photo of Becky you were going to show me?”

“Oh yeah.”

He swung his feet off the bed and opened the drawer. Kate noted that the photo was nearby, handy to get out, to look at. She wondered if he was over this girl at all.

“Here.”

He switched on the bedside light. Kate looked at it. She smiled immediately.

“She looks like me,” she said. “Is that why I attracted you? Because we look similar?”

Jimmy went to answer but then stopped himself.

“I was going to say no,” he said, after a moment. “But maybe, in a way, that’s right. It’s not so much that you’re her double, but you are of a type.”

“This is getting worse!” she said, almost laughing.

“No, what I mean is I was attracted to her maybe for the same reasons I’m attracted to you. She was quite forthright and knew her own mind. She was outgoing. She had darkish hair and was pretty. She was bright. I guess I saw a lot of those things in you.”

“All this at first glance?”

“No, at first glance I saw the hair and the face and, yes, maybe you did remind me of her. But I liked the rest as well.”

“And this girl broke your heart?”

“I never said that.”

“True though.”

“I’m over it. Look, are you going to keep me talking all night? I’ve got to walk you home and then start clearing up the stuff from the barbecue.”

“You don’t need to walk me home.”

“I do. Let me go and check that there aren’t any plates or glasses outside. Then I’ll lock up and walk you back. It doesn’t matter how late I go to bed. I don’t have to get up for work, remember?”

She watched as he pulled on a shirt and went out of the room. She heard him mumbling in the hallway, talking quietly to someone. She took another look at the photo on his bedside table. There was no doubt that he still had feelings for this Becky. It made her feel less bad about leaving him. She opened his top drawer and replaced the picture. Then she stood up and listened carefully in case he was coming back. There was no sound though so she guessed he was out in the garden.

She stepped across to the plastic boxes of Becky’s stuff that were stacked in the alcove. She lifted the lid of the top one and pulled out the file that said
Rebecca Andrews Papers
. She opened it and slipped out the passport. Then she flicked through the rest of the things in the folder and found a photocopy of a job application. It was dated a couple of years before but there, on the top right-hand corner, was a national insurance number. She looked round for a paper and a pen but couldn’t see any near at hand so she took out the photocopy, folded it up and slid it into the passport and put both of them into her bag.

She replaced the folder in the plastic box.

She was putting her shoes on when Jimmy came back in.

“Ready to go?” he said.

“Sure.”

He kissed her on the mouth and she wondered, fleetingly, if he was thinking of Becky when he did it. A tiny part of her hoped he wasn’t.

Twenty-one

Kate got to the bookshop in Exeter a little late for Sara Wright’s talk and then made a decision not to go in at all. Across the road was a branch of HMV and she headed for it. She spent some time in the DVD section, looking at the rows of films and box sets. She selected a film called
The Big Sleep.
She’d heard of the novel that it came from and knew that it was a crime classic. Would Jimmy already have it? She doubted it. He mostly had box sets and recent movies. This was made in 1946 which made it virtually an antique.

After she paid for it she walked to a cashpoint and withdrew some money. Then she headed back towards the bookshop.

When she got to the place where Sara Wright was just finishing her talk she was pleased to see that there wasn’t a large audience. She counted about twenty people sitting on chairs. This calmed her, making her think that
Jennifer Jones
wasn’t headline news any more.

Sara was sitting at a table. She hadn’t changed in the two years since Kate had seen her. Her hair was still short and she was wearing a smart jacket and trousers even though it was a warm night. She had coloured bangles on; Kate could see them shifting about as she moved her hand up and down.

There was a queue of people holding their books. Sara smiled up at each of them and opened each book so that she could sign it. A couple got into conversation with her and she talked to them, gesticulating with her hands, one of them holding a pen ready to sign. Kate wasn’t really sure why she’d come. Curiosity perhaps. Anger maybe. The journalist had been the reason why the life she had had with Rosie had come to an abrupt halt. Studying for her degree at Sussex and having Frankie as her boyfriend had all been snatched away from her because of this woman’s desire to write about her in the newspaper she was working for. That day, at work, Kate had become quite puffed up about this; now though she felt oddly flat. If it hadn’t been her maybe it would have been someone else. Maybe it was always going to be only a matter of time before she was exposed.

Her current situation was just as precarious. Only her probation team were supposed to know her true identity but now there was DI Lauren Heart, DC Simon Kelsey and DC Pat Knight. Would they keep quiet about her? Would they really not go home to their husbands, wives, or partners and say
Guess who I met today?

Kate decided to join the end of the queue. In her bag she had her copy of
Children Who Kill.
As she waited, Sara Wright chatted to the person a few people in front of her. Her voice had a sweetness to it, as if in total contrast to the dark content of the book she’d written. Kate had no intention of reading the book. Would Sara recognise her? Two years before she had had short cropped hair. She had worn no make-up, dressed plainly. She’d wanted to fit in, to be part of the crowd, not to stand out in any way. And now? Wasn’t she just the same? Her hair was longer but she wore the clothes of a student. She looked like hundreds of other young people milling around Exeter. The only time she looked a bit different was when she was wearing her uniform for the tourist information office. Her polyester blouse and skirt and her badge that said
Kate.

Then she was behind the person who was speaking to Sara.

Anxiety gripped her. Was this the right thing to do? She had no time to think about it because the person in front got her book signed and walked off without a word of conversation and she was faced with Sara Wright. The journalist beamed a smile up at her and she handed her book over.

“Who shall I sign this for?” she said, looking down at the book.

There had been no recognition. No moment of surprise. Kate felt a sense of disappointment. Was it because she looked so different or was it because Sara Wright simply thought her another book buyer and hadn’t even bothered to look at her face?

When Kate didn’t answer she looked up again.

“Shall I just sign it
Best Wishes
?” she said.