Finding Isadora (9 page)

As I thought about it, the implications began to sink in. For Richard, and for me.
“It would be a big commitment. You can’t get involved in this boy’s life and back out later.”

“
He says his dad ran out on them. I wouldn’t get involved and then abandon him. I know how much it hurts.”

No, after his experience with his own father, the last thing Richard would do was run out on the boy.

“I know it would be a serious commitment,” he said. “And I feel bad because it would affect you, too. It would mean even less time together, and that’s not fair on you. You’re my first priority—you’ll always be, Iz, and our kids when we have them—but I’d be taking another person into my life.”

I believed him when he talked about priorities. He
’d bend over backwards not to repeat his father’s mistakes and neglect his family. But there were only so many hours in a week, and time with Eric would mean less time with me. Already, our jobs kept us apart many evenings and weekends.

Still, though
I had my faults, I tried not to let selfishness be one of them. And I did feel sorry for the boy. If Richard could make a difference in Eric’s life and was motivated to do it, then he should. Threading my fingers through his, I said, “Don’t worry about me. It’ll work out. I don’t want to horn in on all the male bonding, but sometime down the road I’d like to meet Eric and maybe we could so some things together.”

He beamed at me.
“That would be great. He could probably use a healthy female influence too.”

“
Don’t be too quick to judge his mother. You don’t know her circumstances.”

He shrugged, but I could see he wasn
’t predisposed to be generous with a woman who neglected her child.

“
I definitely don’t want to discourage you, but Richard, this seems kind of sudden. Why now? You’re busy with work and we’ve talked about getting married later this year. You’ve already got a lot on your plate.”

He freed his hand, took a drink of wine, then began twisting the stem of his glass between his fingers. To the right, to the left, to the right again. He was watching the glass, not looking at me.
“It’s been in the back of my mind for a while. I was going to talk to you but wasn’t sure what I felt. And then…” He lifted his head, shoved up his glasses and scowled. “Damn it, Gabe got to me with that speech last night.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, knowing exactly what he meant.
“You shouldn’t let him guilt you into anything,” I said firmly, as much to myself as to Richard.

“
It’s not that. I do believe people should make a contribution to society. Gabe just reminded me. And here’s this situation I’ve been noticing, where maybe I can make a difference if I get off my butt. It’s only a small thing, but—”

“
No,” I broke in. “It’s not small. I think you should do it. Your dad would be proud.”

He snorted.
“No way. He wouldn’t be proud of me unless—” He broke off to reflect. “Unless I opened my own storefront legal clinic, I suppose. And there’s no way I’m doing
that
.”

“
Nor should you. Do the work you love, and make your contribution to society in other ways. If Gabriel’s not proud of you, he’s a fool.”

“
Uh, thanks.” Richard flushed, then picked up his fork and determinedly attacked his pasta.

After a minute I went back to my pizza, but my appetite had deserted me. Not because of Richard and Eric, but because Gabriel was back on my mind. I forced myself to take a bite, and smiled across the table.
“How long before I can start stripping your clothes off?”

“
Think you can wait until we get back to your apartment?”

“
I’ll try.”

We joked back and forth, but I was only going through the motions, trying to psych myself into the right mood. I sensed the same was true of Richard.

Later, when we were alone at my apartment and I did get him naked, we managed to shove everything else away and concentrate fully on each other and our mutual pleasure. Afterward, when we curled up together, I sighed contentedly. “I’m glad you can stay the night, Richard.”

He kissed my temple.
“Me too. You know, I was thinking…”

“
Mmm?”

“
I know we decided we wouldn’t set a wedding date until we’ve been engaged for at least six months, but I wonder if we should think about moving in together?”

I jerked upright.
“Moving in?”

“
We’d see each other more. We both work a lot of nights, you see your parents and friends, I have Mom and Frank, now maybe Eric. At least we’d always see each other in bed at night.”

The idea made sense, so why did I feel panicky?
“We talked about this before,” I said slowly, “and agreed not to live together until we got married and bought our house.” Our house. I’d been dreaming of it so long that I couldn’t quite imagine having Richard move into my cozy little queendom.

“
I wanted to do things the old-fashioned way,” he said.

I had to chuckle. I reached under the covers to tickle his naked body.
“Is this the old-fashioned way?”

He wriggled to evade my hand.
“No guy’s
that
old-fashioned.”

“
What’s changed, Richard?”

“
If I start seeing Eric, it’s going to be even harder to arrange dinners and weekend time.”

“
So if we lived together, we’d both go our own ways and lead our busy lives, but meet in bed?”

“
It doesn’t sound so romantic when you put it that way.”

I shook my head.
“But we’re not noted for being romantic, are we? We’re the practical ones.” I heard the touch of bitterness in my voice and it surprised me. Until last night, I’d been happy to be sensible and organized. Now I remembered the silent auction and my fantasy about a weekend away, with ice wine and chocolate truffles. Yes, we valued practicality, but did that mean we had to give up all spontaneity, excitement, fun? “Richard, why don’t we take a weekend away? Maybe go over to Victoria.”

“
That’s a great idea, Iz.”

I smiled with delight. Why hadn
’t I thought of this before? “How about this coming weekend?” For once, I had both Saturday and Sunday off.

He sighed.
“There’s an important merger in the works. I’ll probably have to be at the office. How about the weekend after?”

“
I have to work.”

“
Damn.” He shook his head. “The story of our lives.”

“
So maybe you’re right and we should move in together.”

“
It’d be nice to hold you every night, to talk like this rather than over the phone.”

“
It would.” Besides, if Richard was beside me in bed, I wasn’t likely to torment myself over his father. “Okay, let’s think seriously about it.”

“
Maybe I can persuade you.” He reached for me, pulling me against his body so I could feel that he was aroused again. “I’m a lawyer. I can be very persuasive.”

*
* *

“
Isadora? Are you there? I tried your cell.” My mother’s voice spoke out of the answering machine on my kitchen counter a couple of nights later.

Owl, perched on one of the wooden dinette chairs, said,
“Hey, cutie, why don’t you come over and see me some time?”

I didn
’t answer the phone, just plugged my run-down cell into its charger and went back to fixing quinoa salad. Much as I loved Grace, I wasn’t in the mood for talking. I just wanted a peaceful evening alone with my menagerie. This queendom might not be mine for too much longer.

Richard and I were probably going to move in together. We
’d started with him favoring his apartment because it was bigger, and me preferring mine because it was so close to the clinic and I loved it. In the end, we agreed to go apartment-hunting together, whenever we could find time, and choose a place that worked for both of us. As was our pattern, we’d chosen practicality over spontaneity. I tried to persuade myself that augured well for our future. Our decisions would always be well thought out.

I hadn
’t told my parents yet. Not that they’d have any moral objection to living together. But they did have reservations about Richard, and I didn’t have the energy to defend our decision.

In fact, I was fresh out of energy. My brain was exhausted from spinning hamster-like on a Gabriel
DeLuca loop that was going nowhere. Why couldn’t I get the man out of my mind?

“
Give me a call as soon as you come in,” Grace continued. “They’ve arrested Jimmy Lee and he’s in jail and—”

I dropped the knife and grabbed the phone.
“What? What’s he gone and done now?”

“
So you
are
there. They’ve charged him with arson.”

“
Arson!” My heart leaped into my throat and lodged there. “Jimmy Lee wouldn’t.”

“
Of course not. It’s all a mistake.”

How many times had I heard those words? Sometimes they had proved true and sometimes not. Jimmy Lee took the
active
in
activist
seriously, but I honestly didn’t think he’d commit arson. “What’s he accused of setting fire to?”

“
The Cosmystiques lab out in PoCo. But he had nothing to do with it.”

The cosmetics company
in Port Coquitlam used animals in their testing and deserved to be shut down. But not burned down. “Why did the police arrest him if he had nothing to do with it?”

“
We were there last week, picketing, and maybe he said some things he shouldn’t have.”

Of course he
’d mouthed off. He was Jimmy Lee Wheeler. I asked the usual question. “Have you got a lawyer?”

She gave the expected answer.
“We can’t afford one. It’ll have to be duty counsel.”

I huffed out an exasperated sigh.
“Duty counsel might be okay if it was just another disturbing the peace, but arson’s serious. He’s never been accused of arson before. And they usually release him, they don’t hold him overnight. You need a good lawyer.”

Yet my parents didn
’t have the money to hire one. My parents never had any money. Although they had both passed sixty, they hadn’t saved a nickel. Grace, a teacher by training, was morally opposed to the public
and
private school systems, and tutored special needs kids, often for free. Jimmy Lee had a real job as a social worker with a community outreach organization, but any spare cash went to my parents’ causes.

For years, I
’d realized I would be looking after them when they were old. That was part of the reason I was so determined to achieve financial security.

I had just saved two thousand dollars to put toward paying off my student loan, which would have meant
six thousand left to go. Now I’d have to use the money to hire a lawyer. I could only pray the police would soon discover they’d arrested the wrong person, or else legal fees would eat up my next pay checks.

How were we going to find a top-notch criminal defense lawyer? Jimmy Lee usually relied on duty counsel. Well, except for the time Gabriel
DeLuca had represented him… And Gabriel respected my dad. He wouldn’t treat Jimmy Lee like a flake, as many lawyers did. He’d be fair with his fees, too. But could I bring myself to call him?

It was absurd to avoid him. The man was going to be my father-in-law. Besides, right now all I should be concerned about was getting the best representation for Jimmy Lee.
“Grace? I have an idea. Let me see what I can do.”

It was past six o
’clock. Would Gabriel still be at his office? I had to find someone to represent Jimmy Lee because my dad would have to appear before a judge tomorrow. Would a duty counsel be able to get him out on bail? Growing up with my parents, I had a fair bit of experience with the court system, but arson was more serious than anything either of them had been charged with before.

Gabriel would know what to do. I squared my shoulders, turned on my laptop, and went on the Internet to find his work phone number. Expecting either a receptionist or an answering machine, I almost dropped the phone when a male voice snarled,
“DeLuca.”

“
Uh, G-Gabriel?” Terrific. Now I was stuttering.

There was a pause and then,
“Isadora?”

Again I almost dropped the phone.
“You recognized my voice?”

Another pause, even longer, then he said,
“Lucky guess.”

There was a roughness in his voice that made me wonder, for the tiniest moment, if I
’d been on his mind, just the way he’d been on mine. But no, that was absurd.

“
Well, I’m calling because, uh…” Belatedly, I realized I owed him an apology for cutting out immediately after his speech, and dragging Richard away. “Look, I’m sorry I had to leave early on Saturday night, but I had a splitting headache and Richard insisted on driving me home. Anyhow, I wanted to tell you your speech was wonderful. I could see the fundraiser was an incredible success, and I’m sure you deserve a lot of the credit.”