Finding Harmony (2 page)

      I haven’t had any contact with Trey in four years. Clearly, we’ve both moved on and I don’t have any right to judge who he gets involved with. The angel in my conscience is telling me to walk away, to forget about him. After all, Trey and I aren’t dating anymore, he can see who he likes and my boyfriend is just across the room DJ-ing. But then again, there’s a devil dying to have its say in my conscience too and maybe it can explain why I’m taking a different course of action instead.

I don’t know what’s possessed me to do this. Maybe too much drink? Perhaps I’m finally losing my mind?

       I make my way to the ladies’ room to freshen myself up. I can’t leave tonight and not speak to Trey. While I might be on the verge on an emotional breakdown, Trey doesn’t need to know that. If I can still look the part, still make it look like I’m doing fine without him, still make it look like I’m holding everything together then that’s all that matters for tonight.

       I dart into one of the cubicles and slide the top half of my dress down so that I can shorten my bra straps. It’s digging in painfully to my shoulders but it has the desired effect. My cleavage is hoisted up and looks as though it could burst out of me dress at any moment. I’ll be damned if that doesn’t get some kind of reaction out of him.

       The sinks and mirrors are all occupied with women touching up their make-up. I spot a young girl at the end of the row. Bingo, she’ll do the trick. I make my way over and wash my hands in the small sink. Immediately, like clockwork, she swings her head round and looks at me.

      “Oh my God, you’re Harmony Lindstrom!” she squeals with her high pitched voice.

       I smile back at her and she watches me curiously as I fiddle around with my hair and make-up.

      “God, I look a mess. Note to self, never come out clubbing again without my make-up”.

       She laughs a little too loudly at my joke but she plays exactly into my hands.

       “Ooh, you can use my make-up if you want, feel free”. She hands me her make-up bag and watches as I apply a smidgen of lip gloss and touch up my mascara.

      I take the pins out my hair holding my do into place and run my fingers through it, roughing it up a little. Without even needing to ask she hands me the hairspray to finish off the new look.

      Like taking candy from a baby.

      I go over the final checks, thank the girl for her help and then make my way out of the room back into the club, swinging my hips as provocatively as I can.

      When I reach our booth, I grab Joey’s arm and drag him to the dance floor. He happily obliges and as drunk as he is he manages to hold his own on the dance floor.

       We dance together for a while and then I feel it. I can feel his eyes burning in to the back of me. I turn around slowly and there he is, sitting bolt upright at his seat, his mouth hanging open a little, his eyes staring straight back in to mine. In that one moment the whole world stopped spinning, the whole room stopped dancing. It was just Trey and me. It was as if the past four years had never happened. That sparkle came rushing back to his eyes, the corners of his mouth pulled up slightly. Everything I’d ever felt for him, every memory we’d ever shared came flooding back and I knew he sensed it too.

       I know this is a dangerous game to be playing but right now I don’t care. I don’t care about tomorrow or the consequences of my actions. All I care about is sitting directly opposite me.

Chapter Two

              Surprisingly, the weeks passed much like any other. There were no disconcerting visits from Miranda and there were no signs to suggest that Trey and Freddy actually inhabited the apartment down the hall, I certainly never saw or heard anyone coming or going (not that I was keeping tabs on them or anything). Things around here had been distinctly quiet.

       I was beginning to think I’d imagined the whole thing.

       Whilst it was hard not to think about what had happened that night at the club, I tried not to dwell on it. I was just getting myself back up on my own two feet again and the last thing I needed was to get involved with my troubled ex-boyfriend.

       Even so, it was hard not to feel concerned for Trey’s well being. He didn’t look like he was, mentally, in a very good place at all. I thought I’d been through just about every emotion possible with Trey, seen him at his best and at his worst. But I’d never seen him like this and that’s why his bizarre behavior was so worrying. We both seemed to be lacking something in our lives, this emptiness we tried to fill with something else.

       Nevertheless, I was a few chess pieces short of the full set and I had to be a little selfish and think about what was best for me. Right now, that meant keeping out of Trey’s life and his affairs and making sure he kept out of mine. I figured that, in the long run, it would be better for everybody if Trey and I kept a safe distance from one another.

      With that decided upon I spent a lot of time at Leo’s place which was only around two blocks away. He got to spend more time with me and I got to escape the weird wonderland that was my new home.

      It was a win win situation.

      He let me listen to some new material he’d been working on in his makeshift home studio.

      I had to hand it to him, the guy had talent.

      Making new friends here happened a lot quicker than I had expected. New Yorkers, once you got past the first few gritty minutes of conversation, were surprisingly pleasant people. It started with a guy named Mikey who I met in a quaint little coffee shop and from there I broke in to his established social network.

       He works for a fashion magazine and updates me on all the juicy gossip taking place in the office and in the fashion Industry.

      I love it. He’s the gay best friend I never had.

      He introduced me to a few girls from the social scene, models, artists, journalists and people from just about every other sector of the creative industry.

     They’re an eccentric bunch and it’s great to finally hang out with and talk to people other than Leo and his friends.

       It was beginning to feel like home here.

      It was safe to say that life in New York, no, life in general was starting to look up.

       Something had to give. Life was never this rosy.

     The winter sunshine floods in through the window, igniting the whole room with light. Still half asleep, I lift my head slightly and turn the pillow over so that I can catch the cold side. My head sinks back in to the plush bag of feathers like a knife slicing through meling butter.

       It’s at this time of the day I’m most relaxed. My whole body feels sensitive to every little sound, smell and touch despite still partially being in the land of nod.

The sound of my own steady breathing and the busy world outside, the numbness of the cold night lingering on my toes which peak out from underneath the covers, the fresh cotton smell of the crisp white sheets and the feeling of Leo’s warm fingers delicately tracing figure eights on my back.

  There was no doubt about it; this was my favorite way to wake up in the morning.

  “Harmony?”

His voice is a little croaky from having just woken up but it’s still soft and tender, just loud enough for me to hear.

“Hmm?”

I roll over into his arms and rest my head against his chest while he absentmindedly plays with my hair.

My eyes are still closed but he knows I’m listening.

“So, I know you said that you didn’t want any fuss made over your birthday tomorrow…”

“Uh huh."

“But I was just thinking… Well wouldn’t you maybe just want to have a small party or something?”

I open my eyes and lean back slightly so I can take him in, his boyish smile, sleepy eyes and messy bed hair greet me.

He’s got something planned; I can read him like a book.

      “So what you’re basically telling me is that you’ve invited everyone around to my place for a cozy little get together?”

       He looks away as though deep in thought and then turns back to me, wearing a cheeky grin.

“Basically… yeah."

“Leoooooo," I whine.

He places his thumb and forefinger in the hollows of my cheeks and squishes them together, like a parent telling off its toddler for just having a tantrum.

“Look, I know you don’t like surprises that’s why I’m telling you today instead of tomorrow and it’ll be small, I promise. Just a few friends, music, alcohol, cake and of course presents…”

He releases his grip on my face carefully, cautiously awaiting my response.

I frown and he simply stares back at me, pulling his ridiculous puppy dog face.

“Harmony, it’s your birthday; we can’t let it pass without celebrating. You can have a lazy morning in bed then Mikey’s going to take you out shopping until you drop and by the time you get back home I’ll have the place looking like a palace and everyone will be there. You won’t have to lift a finger. All you need to do is sit back, relax and enjoy your 25th…”

I didn’t like attention being centered on me at parties but when he put it like that it sounded like it might be quite fun. Why not, it is my birthday after all, why not let people make a fuss over me and enjoy my day, why not let my hair down and have fun for once.

I look at him and smile.

“Fine, but you’d better be getting me one good birthday present."

True to his word, the following day I didn’t have to do anything.

Leo brought me breakfast in bed. He’d cooked up my favorite; French toast fresh coffee and orange juice.

It always went down a treat.

He’d given me my birthday card, a gorgeous bouquet of flowers and some other little presents. He said he was saving my main present for tonight.

I got up in my own time, showered, and dressed and at around 3:00pm Mikey came to pick me up and we hit the shops, not leaving any designer store untouched.

We headed back to Mikey’s place with our new purchases to get changed and chill out for a while before we went back to mine that evening.

I found the perfect little black dress to wear whilst Mikey looked like he’d stepped straight out of a Hugo Boss ad in his casual new suit.

He looked dashing.

If he didn’t bat for the other team then I’d definitely have tried it on with him.

It’s a cold, crisp night, the light breeze gently blows the hair out of my face as Mikey and I walk arm in arm, casually back to my apartment.

When the lift reaches my floor and the doors open, I can already hear the music and chatter from my apartment.

I’m surprised one of the neighbors hadn’t complained.

Mikey takes my hand and opens my apartment door.

Small party my tuckus. For every face I know there’s at least another one I don’t.

As Mikey and I step into the hallway, the whole room turns around and starts cheering. People come up and hug me, greeting me with a mixture of ‘Happy Birthday’, ‘Surprise!’, ‘Harmony’, and ‘Woo’.

I have to admit though; I’m pretty taken aback by the amount of effort that’s gone into tonight. Everyone is dressed up and looking amazing, Leo pulled it off with the decorations, there’s balloons, banners and streamers everywhere. My birthday cake looks delicious, the whole dining room table is covered in presents and cases of beer stretch the length of the hallway. I was feeling pretty damn happy right now.

Leo comes over and hands me some fruity little cocktail he’d concocted in the kitchen and I slowly make my way round the apartment, greeting everyone and chatting.