Finding Eden (23 page)

"I'm sure she's trying not to think about it," she said, standing and coming around in front of me. "She's sort of in denial about me being a woman. She can't help but regard me as a little girl, I think." She furrowed her brow. "I'm trying to be respectful of that. But there's no way you're going to be under the same roof as me and not be in my bed for at least part of the night," she said, sitting down on my lap.

I smiled at her and leaned forward, kissing her lips and feeling a calm joy descend over me. This wasn't ideal, but we were together. We were safe.

A woman cleared her throat and I looked up to see Carolyn standing in the doorway. Eden and I smiled at her and Eden stood up and went to her, hugging her.

"You did so well," Carolyn said when Eden had pulled away. She came into the room and sat down on the chair across from me. "Now there is going to be news coverage about this ad nauseam, just like there was after Acadia . . . just like there was after your father . . . " She trailed off, looking sad and worried, but then took a deep breath and continued. "The phone isn't going to stop ringing, and you're going to be hounded when you leave the house." She looked from me to Eden and back. "We all just have to be prepared. It will stop eventually, but not for some time. Are you going to be okay with this?"

I bent forward, my elbows on my knees and raked one hand through my hair. "No, I'm not okay with this," I said, sitting up. "But what choice do we have? We'll have to make the best of it."

Eden nodded, coming over to stand next to my chair, her hand reaching for mine. I grasped it, squeezing it three times unconsciously. And suddenly, a peace filled my heart, some inexplicable feeling I had trouble naming.

"Yes," Eden said softly, looking down at me. "We'll make the best of it." She looked at Carolyn. "Mom, obviously we don't want to watch all the news coverage, but is there a way someone can watch enough to give us any information on Clive Richter, or if someone comes forward about Calder?"

Carolyn glanced at me quickly and nodded. "Of course. I'll make sure that happens. So this is a no-TV zone for now. And we hole up for the next few weeks and wait until the worst of it has died down."

With that plan in place, we all went into the kitchen and Eden insisted I sit down at the table by the window while she cooked for me. I watched her move around the kitchen, somehow, unbelievably falling even more in love with her. I'd never had the pleasure of seeing Eden do something as normal as boil pasta and toss a salad together and it was almost magical to me, as ridiculous as that might have sounded to someone else. I watched as she interacted with Carolyn and Molly, too, laughing and listening intently to what they had to say. She was so damn
good
, so kind and filled with light. It was what Hector had seen in her all those years ago, surely. And yes, he had exploited it for his own sick and twisted idea, but he hadn't been wrong in his recognition of it in the first place. It was the quality that had attracted both of us to her. But I swore on everything I loved in the world that I would make her light shine even more brightly, and never, ever diminish it like he had.

She smiled over at me and I smiled back. Since I'd been outside of Acadia, I'd noticed how few people held that same, genuine gentleness of spirit that Eden exuded. And how was it that
this
girl, my girl, of all people, had managed to retain that quality? After everything she'd been through, the soul-stealing trauma, how had she hung on to that part of herself? Sometimes I felt like falling down on my knees in front of her in worship. She was so unbelievably beautiful in every possible way. Still. After all this time, and after everything,
still.
Only now, she not only held a gentle beauty, but that quiet strength I'd always seen in her was even more apparent.

We sat down to eat dinner and Eden's loving eyes watched me as I ate the food she'd cooked, and it seemed to bring her joy and make her shine brighter, so I ate three helpings even though I was full after two.

Later that night, I snuck out of the guest room and into Eden's room and climbed into her small, pink, twin-sized bed.

I pulled Eden into my chest and her hand wandered to my briefs and I sucked in a breath, instantly hard. But when I moved over her, the bed squeaked so loudly that I froze. If I took her as hard and vigorously as my body was screaming at me to do, the whole neighborhood would be woken up. I had to wonder if Carolyn had switched out the mattress while we were brushing our teeth.

Eden's wide eyes met mine in the semi-darkness of the room and her face contorted in laughter as she brought her hand to her mouth so as not to make any noise. I grinned down at her, holding back my laughter, too.

After we'd collected ourselves, we moved down to the floor. "We're always having to sneak around," I whispered against her lips.

"This is different," she whispered back.

"I know." I still didn't like it though.

I made love to her on the floor of her bedroom like two sneaky teenagers, a blanket beneath us. Although we had to be quiet, and it wasn't a bed of our own like I would have preferred, we were together and that was enough. She put her hand to my cheek and gazed into my eyes lovingly as our bodies joined, and I found the deep peace I always did when I was connected to Eden.

We both fell over the edge of bliss together, breathing against each other's mouths in order to be as quiet as possible. I put my face into her neck as I slowly came down, and her hands ran over my back, kneading the muscles there. I sighed happily and pulled out of her.

We lay like that for a little while, me nuzzling into her, and her stroking my skin.

"I wanted our baby so badly," she said after a little while.

I could only imagine that each time I came inside her, a part of her would acknowledge I wouldn't get her pregnant, that it wasn't possible anymore. My heart twisted and I leaned up on the arm that wasn't under her. Her face was filled with sadness. I leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I know. I did, too," I said quietly.

"I had come to some kind of peace about not being able to have any more." She paused and I waited for her to go on. "I had thought to myself that there was almost something . . .
right
about the fact that
your
baby was the only one I'd ever carry, even if I didn't get to keep it." She was quiet again. "But now, I have you back and it's like I'm grieving it all over again."

I pushed her hair aside. "I understand. I'd do anything to change it, Morning Glory." I leaned down and kissed her. "And, like I said, we will have kids if you want them. Somehow. We'll adopt. Whatever you want. Anything. I'll do anything to give you everything you want from this life."

She let out a small sniffle. "I know you will."

We lay holding each other for a little while, me staring at the back of her closet door, wondering at all the stuff she had pinned up on the other side.

"Tell me more about what you were researching about Hector," I said quietly.

Eden snuggled against my body. I smiled into her hair and pulled her in close.

We were quiet for a minute before Eden finally said, "I started looking into Hector because I just figured, who knows more about the religion we now know he created, than me? Us? The news always seemed so perplexed about it all, and I had all these answers to their questions, and I almost felt like it was my duty to look into a few things if I could, you know?" There was almost an excitement in her voice, and her body stilled as she seemed to go deep in thought.

I was silent, running my fingers up and down the smooth skin of her arm. "Did you mention any of it to the police today?"

She shook her head. "No, because it's just stuff I was looking into. I don't have any answers yet, but I thought if I kept going, I might."

"Like what?"

"Like who he really was. Where he came from."

"What were you looking at?"

She leaned up slightly so she could look at me. Her eyes were wide like they always were when she latched onto a topic that interested her.
I love you so much, Morning Glory.
"Well, the more I looked into the things the Holy Book taught, some of our rituals, the way Acadia was organized, the names for things, I researched on the Internet and found that a lot of it was based on Greek society, Greek religion, Greek myths. It all fit, almost every bit of it." Her voice sounded more animated. "Not everything, but a lot of it."

"What else?"

"Well, his name—which we know now wasn't really his name. Hector. Isn't that sort of a strange name for a blond, blue-eyed man?"

"I don't know. I guess." There were a few Hispanic men named Hector who worked on the construction site with Xander and I. I always cringed when I heard someone call out their name.

"And his sons - Jason, Phineus, Simon and Myles." Her voice cracked slightly on the last name and she laid her head back down on my chest. I pulled her tighter. She still carried grief in her heart for those innocent boys she had known much better than I had. The ones she'd loved.

"What about the names?" I whispered, leaning down to kiss her head.

"They're all names from Greek history or Greek mythology. One is a god, one a hero, one a sea spirit . . . I can't remember the other one. I have it on the back of my door," she said very quietly.

I thought about that for a minute. "Okay, but what does that all mean?" I asked. "So Hector was obsessed with Greek history for some reason? So much so that he created a religion out of it? Or used it as some sort of inspiration. What does that mean?"

"I don't know. I think it might have started in Indiana though."

I frowned. "Why Indiana?"

"Because I think that's where he brought me when he took me from my parents. He kept me somewhere for almost two years before I came to Acadia. I have this brief flash of memory, of waking up in a car for just a split second and seeing a sign that said something about the Crossroads of America. I always remembered that, but I had no idea what it meant. I looked it up–I
Googled
it," she said, nodding her head as if she was agreeing with the proper use of a new term. I smiled. "That's what the welcome sign to Indiana says. We arrived at the house I was in with him for the next couple of years very shortly after that. That's where my memory starts fading again."

My blood felt like it dropped a couple of degrees. "What did he do to you there?" I asked.

She shook her head. "Nothing like what you might be thinking. He . . . made me read the Holy Book a lot. He talked to me about my role . . . constantly. It's foggy. I was grieving for my parents. I thought they'd died. I was alone . . .
a lot
. I wasn't allowed to go outside very often. It's all very . . . blurry."

"He brainwashed you."

She seemed to think about that for a minute. "Maybe."

"Only it didn't work very well, my strong Morning Glory."

"No, it didn't. But on some topics, it
did
. I couldn't remember so much . . ."

"Why do you think it started in Indiana? Acadia was already functioning. Why would he bring you back to his home?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe that's where he felt safest, where he had a place to bring me other than Acadia. Maybe he had things to wrap up in his life. Who knows?"

"You were considering going there, weren't you?" I asked.

She shrugged again. "If I found some more information, yes, I was considering it." She paused. "It seemed daunting, though. How would I get there?" She sighed. "It wouldn't have been anytime soon. I just thought, you know, I had a whole lifetime to fill, and I needed something to fill it with." She let out a sharp exhale of breath that I felt against my skin.

My heart squeezed painfully with the recognition of that thought. It had gone through my own head often, as well.
This life feels so damn long.
"Morning Glory," I murmured, kissing her head, "you found a way to live, to survive. I'm so proud of you. But now we can let all that go. There's no need to delve into that now. Hector's dead. The police know our story, they know your story, it's all in their hands now."

"Hmm," she hummed, not sounding totally convinced.

I turned her toward me in the dark. "Eden, there's no point to that line of research anymore."

"What about you?" she asked. "What about finding out who you are?"

"That might not have anything to do with any of that. As we lie here, millions of people across the world are hearing our story and hearing my information. Surely, someone reported me missing once upon a time. Surely someone knows me?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"Yes," I agreed. "And so we wait to find out. We wait to find out who I am."

She turned and looked up at me in the moonlit room. "We already know who you are." She gazed up at me. "We wait to find out where you came from. There's a big difference." She was right.
I may not know where I came from, but I know who I am now.
If my identity remained a mystery, I still knew who I was.
Eden's.

"I love you," I said, pulling her in to my chest.

"I love you, too."