Finding Eden (17 page)

“
You knew this boy
didn't have a home, didn't you?”

“
Well, he probably
does. I wouldn't believe a word he says. He's a trouble maker,
constantly stealing from me and the other store owners. He's just a
menace. It's that simple.”

“
No,” I say,
“it's not 'that simple' when it comes to things like this.
People don't steal because they want to make trouble, especially if
it's food. No one steals food for fun.”

I turn back to the small
boy in front of me and I proclaim the first thing that comes to my
mind.

“
This boy, although
guilty of stealing, will not be charged or penalized. He will,
however, become a ward of this castle, and shall live here under my
protection.”

Then the whispers flared,
most of them probably questioning my sanity. I can feel Sahariel's
eyes on me, but I don't look at him, I only look at the little boy in
front of me who tries to hide the tears that are slowly going down
his face.

“
Are you sure that
was a good idea?” Sahariel asks me.

“
He didn't have a
home,” I say as I look at Tobi. Cleaned up and well fed,
though, he looked nothing like the boy I took in just over a week
ago.

“
I understand
that.”

“
Speaking of
which,” I turn toward Sahariel, “why is it that he didn't
have a home? It seems odd that in this kingdom a child wouldn't have
had one.”

“
We've had some
trying times.”

“
What do you mean?”

Sahariel frowns and
excuses us from the room. I don't know what he's thinking or feeling,
but I get the feeling that it can't be good.

Sahariel takes a deep
breath, but it looks as if that's not enough.

“
I'm sorry I didn't
tell you before.”

“
Tell me what?”

He stops in the middle of
the hall, like he's seeing me for the first time, a heartbreaking
expression on his face, as if uttering the words themselves give him
no pleasure.

“
We are on the
brink of war, Eden,” he says.

I say nothing at first. I
can't say anything; I can't even breathe.

“
I don't
understand,” I say, “what do you mean we're at war?”

“
Just as it sounds,
my Lady.” He says, “Just like any other kingdom, we have
enemies, enemies whose only goal is to destroy us; to destroy you.”

“
You told me my
life was in danger because someone assassinated my grandfather. I
thought that was the only thing going on.”

“
Your life is still
in danger, but we still haven't figured out who is targeting you,
whether it's the enemy or someone else.”

“
How could you not
know?”

“
When someone
assassinates someone during war time, it's difficult to find out who
it is, simply because both a coupe from within and a war from outside
both have the same goal. They want the destroy. Killing the royal
family is common place when it comes to war, so why should we assume
it's not the enemy?”

I stare at him for a few
seconds. I'm angry with him, but I'm also disappointed. Did he not
trust me enough to tell me the truth as to why my life is in danger?

“
And before you
start jumping to conclusions, I didn't tell you because you would
have been even more resistant to come here had you known we were at
war.”

I frown at him and still
say nothing. I know that he's right, and he probably knows that I
know that he's right, but I won't admit it to him.

“
Regardless of
whether or not you're right, you lied to me,” I say.

“
I didn't lie to
you,” he says.

He opens my door and
motions for me to enter.

“
You lead me on,
which is my mind is the same as lying. You didn't tell me the truth
when you should have.” I say as I walk past him. “Just
tell me how you could have forgotten.”

“
What do you mean?”

He closes the door and
turns to look at me.

“
How did you
magically forget that we are at war?” I ask him.

“
I didn't forget,”
he says, “As I said, I didn't tell you because I knew you
wouldn't want to come here had you known. You would have done the
same thing!”

“
You don't know
that.”

“
I don't, huh?”
He looks at me, one eyebrow raised, “So you're telling me that
if your family and friends were in danger of being killed, and you
knew of one person out there who could basically guarantee their
safety, you wouldn't go out and look for them?”

I look up at him as the
words enter my mind, throwing me for a second. I try and formulate
some sort of argument against what he's said, but I know I won't be
able to come up with a valid one, and he can see that on my face.

“
Exactly,” he
says, “you would, and both you and I know that.”

Sahariel walks away from
me, and I frown at his back.

“
I know it seems
odd to you,” he looks over his shoulder at me, “but these
people are my friends and family, regardless of what they say to me.
We all care about each other to an extent
and
none of us wants to see the other die.”

I glare at him; his gaze
never wavers.

“
There will be a
war, and they all expect you to lead us to victory.”

I'm holding my breath. I
let it out and his beautiful liquid gold eyes whisper sorrows into
mine. I only have one question on my mind.

“
And what do you
expect of me, Sahariel?”

“
I expect nothing
from you,” He shakes his head, “I only pray that you
survive.”

I stare at him blankly,
“Please leave.”

His head snaps up,
“What?”

“
Please leave,”
I nod toward the door and Sahariel's eyes follow the motion.

“
But,” he
starts to say, but the look on my face quiets him and he slowly walks
out of the room and closes the door behind himself.

He doesn't go far,
though, duty keeping him from leaving my door. I take a deep, shaky,
breath, thankful that the tears stayed back long enough so I didn't
cry in front of him. I sink to the ground, my knees under my chin and
my hands covering my soon-to-be tear stained face.

I don't know how long I
was there sitting on the ground; I don't know how long I cried, but I
wake up lying in bed, my head pounding and my eyes swollen and the
sun in my eyes. I stare at the ceiling and frown. I guess I just need
to face this and get it behind myself.

Sitting up in bed, I rub
my temples and think. Do I have any right to be mad at him? He was
only doing what he felt was right, and he did tell me my life was in
danger. Still though, he didn't tell me about the war.

I turn my thoughts over
in my mind. I stand up and begin to pace. I think about all the times
I had read an article in the newspaper about some death row inmate
being put to the death and the only thing I could think of at the
time was that at least the families would finally have peace. But
during a war, there are families on both sides. Everyone has a
family, whether mothers, fathers, brothers or sisters, or maybe even
dear friends who are close enough to call family. Everyone has
someone that will miss them if they die. But having a leader during
war keeps casualties down, keeps the masses calm. Now I know why he
didn't tell me.

I shake my head. I guess
any sane person wouldn't tell the other about a war, so I shouldn't
really expect him to have told me.

I get up and walk to the
bathroom intent on washing my face and hopefully making the swelling
go down. Taking a deep breath after drying off my face, I slowly open
the door and walk out of my room.

I find Sahariel down the
hallway from my room. He doesn't say anything when he sees
me;
he just nods as I motion for him to
follow me as I walk out and through the gardens. My fingers find a
small red flower and I pick the petals off one by one as I walk and
try to figure out in my head what I'm going to say to this man.

“
I understand,”
I say to him, “why you didn't tell me. I'm still upset that you
didn't tell me the true reason behind bringing me here, but I can
forgive you quicker because I understand why you did it. And you're
right, I probably would have done the same thing had the situation
been reversed.”

I frown and I take
inventory of my recently possessed life. The castle, the bedrooms,
the furniture, drapes, all the way down to the candelabra's; they're
all mine.

I think about my family
and all the other elves. Does everyone really expect me to save them?
What of the others? I'm only seventeen years old. I honestly don't
know if I should be fearful of failing them or if I should be
courageous and face this with all that I have in me. But still; what
if I fail? How can I do all of this?

I stop picking at the
flower. Anxiety begins to overwhelm me. What if I fail? The question
repeats itself in my mind.

Sahariel shifts behind
me, obviously feeling my anxiety climb and worrying.

“
What's wrong now?”
Sahariel asks after a few minutes, unable to keep himself from
asking.

I look over at him and he
looks back at me with a worried expression. I take a deep breath.

“
What if I fail?”
I finally ask the question out loud, “What if I fail everyone?”

“
You won't,”
he says.

“
But what if I do?”
I feel like crying.

“
You won't,”
he says again.

“
How can you say
that with such certainty?”

“
Because,” he
says. “I know you.”

I look up at him. He's so
close that I can feel the heat coming from his body. Even though I
was upset with him, I can't be now. He makes me happy. He makes me
feel safe. He makes me feel some sort of feeling that I can only
describe as completeness. I start to lean into him but as soon as I
get close I feel him stiffen. He pulls back.

“
Thank you,”
I say.

“
For?”

“
Making me feel
better. Filling me with courage.”

He shakes his head.

“
I don't deserve
your thanks,” he says and steps away, “for lying to you;
I don't deserve your smile after lying to you. I'm sorry.”

“
I didn't
understand it last night, and I probably wouldn't have been able to
understand it before, but I do understand now. You were thinking
about the kingdom, something I couldn't even have imagined thinking
about. You did the right thing.”

I speak in a soothing
tone and place my hand on his shoulder. I look into his eyes and
watch as the sadness melts away. His pupils grow larger and the gold
in them swirls. His breathing deepens and the feeling of safety and
completeness inside of me deepen.

Sahariel suddenly pulls
away his hands shaking as he rubs them on his legs.

“
Are you okay?”
I ask.

“
Yes, I'm fine,”
he says, “nothing wrong.”

“
Are you sure? Did
I do something wrong?”

“
No,” he rubs
his hands over his face vigorously, “it's just—I don't—I
don't know.”

My face pulls into a
worried expression as I watch him fidget and run his hands through
his hair.

“
I don't think I
can be your personal guard anymore.”

I feel my eyes grow wide.
My gaze falls to my feet where my heart currently resides.

“
What? Why?”
I'm so confused.

“
Because you're the
Queen and I'm a royal guard.”

“
That doesn't
really clarify things.”

“
I don't know how
to explain it,” he takes a deep breath, “but when we're
close, like we were a few seconds ago, I feel things I've never felt
toward another person. And I don't know what to do about them.”