Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool (15 page)

‘Tim and Paulette.’

‘Yes, I telephoned them.’

Gloria turned her head away and closed her eyes.

The door opened and Paulette came into the room.

‘What are we going to do, Peter?’ she whispered.

‘I’m not sure, Pauli. Let’s wait and see what Tim thinks.’

We sat in silence.

‘I’ve never been in an aeroplane before,’ my mother was telling Tim across the kitchen table.

‘You’re kidding,’ he said, surprised. ‘You’re gonna love the experience.’

‘Everyone says that it’s a horrible noise.’

‘Don’t you believe it, you won’t hear a thing. Just carry a Walkman.’

‘Oh no,’ my mother said. ‘I’ve already got too much to carry about, and I’ve got to stop off in Manila.’

She had no idea what a Walkman was.

‘Has everything been fixed up?’ I said. ‘Do Tim and Paulette know where they’re sleeping?’

‘Yes, Joe and Jessie have gone for tonight, so I’ve put them in the room they were in. They’ll have to share it though, but it’s the best I can do.’

‘That’s fine,’ Tim said. ‘We won’t be sleeping tonight anyway, but if we do it will be on a rota basis.’

‘Well, work it out amongst yourselves. I’ve got to get some sleep.’ My mother wished us goodnight and then she went to bed. I was alone with Tim.

‘Well, I’d like Mom to get some proper medical attention as soon as possible.’

‘It may be that a private clinic is the answer.’

‘Well, as I said, Peter–’ Tim stood up from the table and spoke to me very earnestly – ‘I will attempt to find out how Mom feels about it and I will also discuss it
with Paulette. Maybe I’ll call Joy in California. I’d also like to talk with that doctor of yours, but I’ll be making a decision, probably during the next ten hours.’

Legally, being Gloria’s eldest child, I supposed that he was the only person responsible for making a decision on her behalf, but as Gloria could barely speak I wondered how Tim was going
to find out how she felt about the various possibilities.

‘Tim,’ I said, ‘I hope that you don’t think that I’m pushing you to make your decisions but I’m sure that you realize how ill Gloria is. I think if you can
persuade her to go to a hospital, a hospice, anywhere, the sooner she gets the attention the better.’

‘Well, Peter. I still have to think about the whole thing properly. Mom is a very strong-willed and determined lady.’

‘I know that she’s strong and I know that she’s determined, but she is dying.’ Tim had gone. I said the words out loud to myself.

The door to Gloria’s room was closed. I felt completely at a loss. I couldn’t make her get better again. I was in no position to make the decisions. This
wasn’t my house and Gloria was no longer my responsibility.

The church bells were ringing, a solemn and empty sound, announcing it was Sunday.

Tired and uncomfortable, I woke up on the couch in the upstairs flat.

‘Get down those stairs! I thought I told you not to come up here, you bad dog. There’ll be hairs all over everywhere.’ My mother was disciplining Candy on the landing
outside.

‘What time is it, Mum?’ I called.

‘Just turned ten o’clock.’ She put her head around the upstairs living room door.

‘What’s happened to Gloria?’

‘Paulette’s in with her now and her brother’s talking on the phone, but I don’t know who to. He’s spoken to the doctor, who’s coming here in less than half an
hour, so I want to get this room tidied. They can talk in here. Do you think you’ll get up?’

‘Yes, Mum. I’m about to get up.’

In contrast to the defiant noise of the church bells and the cold of the upstairs flat, the kitchen was quiet and warm. There was a stack of clothes that had been ironed, sitting on the
sideboard, and a delicious lingering smell of the hot iron and cotton that had been slightly singed.

Paulette looked tense and uncomfortable as she came down the few steps into the room.

‘Oh hi, Peter,’ she said when she saw that I was the only one there. ‘Can I boil up some water?’

‘Of course you can. Come and have some coffee.’

‘Oh no thanks, Peter. I just want to fix the vitamin drink and take it up to Mom.’

‘Has she been able to drink it?’

‘Well no, but she’s been trying. Is that the tea kettle?’

Paulette moved across the room, put water into the kettle and then put it on the gas. Although it wasn’t cold in the kitchen, she stood over the kettle with her hands around the flame,
waiting for it to boil.

‘Are you cold, Paulette?’

‘No, Peter. I don’t know. I don’t think so.’

‘Would you like to have a bath?’

‘Oh no, Peter. Thank you. I’m gonna have some sleep.’

‘Didn’t you sleep much during the night?’

‘I tried but I couldn’t.’ Her voice suddenly broke. ‘Why has she done this, Peter? Why has she let this happen?’

‘I don’t know, Paulette. You probably know much more than me.’

‘When she was in California, Peter, she got very neurotic and bad-tempered and I guessed that something was wrong, but then she went away and acted in a play somewhere. When she got back
she seemed okay, but then she got sick again and was very weak. So I fed her with broth, Peter, and good food and she slowly got better again. And she was sweet, she just wanted to be in the
trailer. She seemed happy. She did dishes and things, tended the garden and just wanted to be happy.’

‘Paulette, why didn’t you try to let me know what was happening?’

‘Mom didn’t want you to know, Peter. She didn’t want anybody to know. I guess she didn’t wanna upset people.’

‘Well, how about her sister? Did Joy know Gloria was sick?’

‘She sort of knew, but it was difficult because Mom would never tell anybody anything. Then she seemed to get better and wanted to come to England to work on the play. I didn’t want
her to come, nobody did, but I didn’t think this would happen.’

‘But Paulette, why didn’t you get any proper help? Why didn’t she see a doctor?’

‘You know, Peter, I think Joy had the same kind of thing a long time ago, but she had surgery and now she’s fine. And Grandma, she had surgery because she had something wrong too,
and now she’s an old lady. Mom just doesn’t like doctors.’

The water came to the boil. The church bells started to ring again. The light coming in through the window dulled and the rain clouds were gathering. It was letting out time at the church and
anyone who had gone there was likely to get wet.

‘The doctor’s about to arrive,’ my mother announced at the kitchen door. She was wearing her Sunday morning outfit – the cooking and cleaning mix-and-match – an
apron and a headscarf, tied behind the ears and tucked under at the back. ‘I’ve just seen him pull up in a car while I was at the window straightening the folds in the curtains.
He’s stopped to say hello to the woman from number fifteen, the one who goes to church. She’s got a face like a bacon butty. I wonder how he knows her?’

‘What shall I do, Peter? What shall I do with this vitamin drink?’

‘Look, Paulette love,’ my mother came into the middle of the room. ‘You’d better go and try to get your brother off the telephone. Will you tell him that the
doctor’s here? Then I’d go back to your mother. You might be able to persuade her to let the doctor do something for her.’

Paulette rushed up the stairs when the doorbell rang.

My mother went to the door.

‘Oh, Doctor Casey. You look as though you’ve been standing about in the rain. Gloria’s children have arrived.’

‘Yes, yes. I did speak to the chappie on the telephone,’ I heard the doctor reply.

‘He doesn’t seem too happy, that doctor,’ my mother said as she came back into the room. ‘I think he’s a bit tired of coming here, especially as there’s
nothing for him to do.’

‘I think Tim will be able to persuade Gloria to go to a hospital.’

‘Well if he does,’ my mother answered, ‘it won’t be a hospital in Liverpool. He’s talking about taking her back to America.’

‘You must have got it wrong. That would be impossible.’

‘I would have thought so.’ My mother closed the kitchen door and sat down at the table. ‘I was just running over the banister with a duster,’ she said, ‘just at the
top of the stairs, right outside the room where Tim was talking on the phone. I heard him say, to whoever it was, I don’t know who it was, that he was thinking of taking his mother back to
America.’

‘Gloria’s dying!’

‘Well, I’m just telling you what I heard him say. I might have got it wrong, but I don’t think that I have because I also heard him say that he’s discussed it with her
and that she says that she wants to go.’

‘Gloria can’t speak,’ I shouted, ‘let alone discuss anything! Tim’s crazy if he thinks he’s taking Gloria back to America. He can’t. I’m going to
tell him that he can’t!’

‘Now stop it. Just stop it. Don’t you get yourself worked up. No, it doesn’t make any sense to me either. I think that it’s the most stupid thing that I’ve ever
heard, but it’s nothing to do with us. Tim is Gloria’s son and if he wants to take his mother, dying as she is, back to America on an aeroplane, then it’s his decision and you, or
anybody else, can’t stop him. Maybe Gloria does want to go back. Maybe the family want their mother home with them in America. You just don’t know what the situation is. Tim and
Paulette have been up there with her all through the night, so they must be able to see for themselves what kind of condition she’s in. Maybe they think it’s best to take her back now,
rather than later, if you know what I mean. You just don’t know, so don’t you interfere. Just keep out of it. To tell you the truth I’ll be amazed if she’s allowed to travel
on a plane, the way she is. What she needs is an ambulance to take her to the nearest hospital, and if I had my way, she would have been in one days ago!’

I couldn’t sit around wondering what was going on upstairs, waiting to be told what was happening. I felt restless, annoyed, unprepared for another day of this endless confusion.

To the disapproval of my mother, who told me I was interfering, I rushed out from the kitchen and ran up to Gloria’s room. Halfway up the stairs I stopped; I had to change my pace. There
was a hollow, empty sensation in the pit of my stomach and suddenly I felt sick.

It was Sunday: inescapable, miserable Sunday. Suddenly quiet; suddenly still. What if we were all to be trapped here forever, I thought. This unlikely collection of people: a dying film star,
her son who was also her brother-in-law, a doctor who was unable to do anything to help, two old age pensioners desperately trying to get to Australia, and a drunken nurse. All going crazy to the
music of
The Pirates of Penzance.
It would soon become a living hell.

Gloria was alone.

She still looked like Gloria, only smaller, iller and grey. I sensed she didn’t want me there. Was she hating me for the things I’d done? I’d left her alone for a night,
I’d tried to persuade her to go to a hospital, I’d called a doctor, I’d found a drunken nurse, and I’d engineered the arrival of Tim and Paulette. I’d done everything
she’d asked me not to do.

‘Do you want to go back to America?’ I could hear the panic and urgency in my voice.

She slowly shook her head from side to side.

‘Do you want to go to the hospital here?’

She shook her head again.

‘Well, Gloria, what do you want to do?’

I could see the confusion in her eyes. She had no idea what was going on. It was cruel of me to ask her all these questions. I sat down on the bed and held her.

‘Hello, Peter. Hello, Gloria.’ Jessie came into the room. ‘We’ve not long been here,’ she whispered. ‘Joe was wondering where you were, Peter. He’s
talking to Tim upstairs. Now that the doctor’s gone, I thought I’d come and ask Gloria if she’d like to freshen up. I’ve brought her a little present. It’s a
headscarf, pink and pale green.’

‘You’re going to make yourself ill,’ my mother called from the bottom of the stairs. ‘I thought that I told you not to interfere. You’ll only be
thought badly of in the end. Take my advice and keep out of the way. You look shocking.’ Then as a kind of warning she added, ‘Your father’s back.’

‘What difference is that supposed to make?’ I shouted at her.

She went away without saying another word and I knew that I had hurt her feelings.

Depressed, I walked on up the next flight of stairs towards the voices. Joe and Tim were talking. As I passed the bedroom I could hear Paulette weeping.

‘What do you think we should do, Peter?’ she asked when I sat next to her. ‘Do you think we should take her back home?’

‘I think she should go to the hospital in Liverpool.’

‘Do you think the hospital will be able to save her?’

‘Let’s go and find out from Tim what the doctor had to say.’

‘Have you been crying, Pauli?’

‘I’m confused. I just don’t know, Tim. Maybe we should just take Mom to the hospital here in Liverpool. I just don’t like to see her this way and maybe she just
wouldn’t make it back home. What do you think, Peter?’

‘I think Gloria should stay in Liverpool.’

‘But Peter –’ Tim looked at Joe as he spoke to me – ‘you know Mom won’t go to a hospital here. I’ve talked to Mom and spoken to Joy, and I’ve
found out that there’s a doctor in New York that Mom trusts. I’ve persuaded her to let him take a look at her. She will make it back. She’s a determined lady and I think that if
going back to New York is the only chance we have for her, then we should take it.’

‘Now look, Peter,’ Joe spoke firmly. ‘You know what all the problems are and what they have been over the last week. We’ve been unable to do anything or make any
decisions for Gloria. Tim and Paulette have come here because they’re the only ones who can make those decisions, and so I think that it should be left to them.’ Then he turned to Tim.
‘It’s a decision for you and Paulette, and it’s a difficult one. It might be the most difficult decision that you’ll ever have to make. It’s your mother. You’ll
never have to make a decision like it again.’ He paused, then added, ‘I think you want to take her home.’

‘If it’s the only chance, Joe, then yes, I think I do want to take my mother back home. Paulette, do you agree with me?’