Fighting to Survive (23 page)

As
she sat in the tub in the hot clear water, she studied each one with
disgust. The ones on her arm were the most terrifying, but they were
a lesson learned. A zombie could not bite through thick cloth; that
was something to keep in mind.

Using
the hotel
’
s
rose soap, she scrubbed herself clean and was relieved to finally not
smell of death and bleach.

After
her bath, dressed in a tank top and pajama bottom she had claimed
from the WalMart shipment down in the city hall basement, she started
moving things around the hotel room. The bed was far too heavy to
move, but she rearranged the chairs, desk and vanity. Little
decorative knickknacks were either tossed or put into a new area of
the room. She moved the paintings around and fussed with one of the
mirrors until it was set at a good height on the wall.

Finally,
feeling the room was hers, she sank into a chair and began to read a
book she had borrowed from the makeshift library Peggy was keeping in
city hall.

When
the knock on the door came, she wasn
’
t
surprised. Laying the book aside, she slid to her bare feet and
walked to the door taking in deep breaths. Another knock came,
quieter now. She knew Travis was giving her time to change her mind,
to ignore his knocks and pretend to be asleep.

But
today she had learned a valuable lesson. Time was short. Too short to
worry about what had been.

Opening
the door, she gazed out at Travis. His hands were resting on either
side of the doorway. He was scrubbed clean and his hair was still
damp. He looked tired and anxious. She realized he was waiting for
her to send him away.

Reaching
out, she tangled one hand in his hair and drew him down and kissed
him deeply. With her other arm, she drew him into her embrace and
into her room. He almost stumbled, he was so startled. Then he came
easily and willingly into her arms.

Together,
they shut the door behind them.

2. Letting go and
Moving Forward

Travis
has been more than a nervous wreck when he had knocked on Katie
’
s
door. His stomach had been twisted into knots and his throat dry from
nerves. He had been pretty sure she was going to turn him away.

In the aftermath of
the clearing of the hotel, he had begun to second-guess his short
conversation with her up on the patio of the ballroom. He had slowly
concluded that he had not been clear in his intentions and she had
not understood what he meant.

From
the moment he realized he had feelings for Katie, he was sure he was
doomed to heartbreak. But he couldn
’
t
help himself from hoping. Their kiss, well two kisses, had been
enough to stoke the fires of hope within him.

When
she had opened the door, his heart had skipped a beat. She had looked
so beautiful, so ethereal, with the light behind her illuminating her
blond locks. Her sparkling green eyes had regarded him beneath the
fringe of her eyelashes and he had braced himself to be sent away.
Hell, he had a bottle of Jack Daniels back in his room waiting for
him to keep him company after her rejection.

Instead,
she had reached out and kissed him in a way that made his knees weak
and the butterflies in his stomach turn into a tornado. He had almost
fallen into the room in surprise, but had managed to recover and
helped her close the door.

The
kiss that followed was everything he had hoped for. It was sweet yet
passionate, loving yet lustful, soothing yet exciting. He had wrapped
his arms tightly around her and dragged her closer to him and-

“
Ouch!
”

“
Sorry,
”
he answered, and quickly let go of her.

“
Bruises,
”
she said with a wince.

“
Oh,
yeah, I forgot.
”

Again they kissed
deeply, her hands trailed down his back and-

“
Shit,
”
Travis muttered against her lips.

“
Oh,
sorry,
”
she said.

“
I
kinda have a bruise there.
”

She laughed and
pulled away from him, holding out her arms. They were covered in
bruises. Then she turned around and her back was a nice patchwork of
purple, green, and black.

Travis grinned and
showed her his arms and the enormous bruise on his side.

“
Well,
we match,
”
she laughed.

Travis
looped his hand around her neck and drew her close and pressed his
lips to hers. They lost themselves in a kiss that felt quite like no
other. He was completely enraptured with her. To his great surprise
and delight; she seemed just as enamored with him.

“
I
love you,
”
Travis whispered, stroking her curls, gazing into her eyes.

“
Yeah,
I kinda figured that out.
”

“
Do
you-
”
he started to say, then just opted to kiss her forehead.

She
nestled into his arms, tucked against his chest, and whispered,
“
Yes.
”

Closing
his eyes, he held her tightly and sighed with relief.
“
I
was hoping, but I wasn
’
t
sure since you are a lesbian.
”

“
Actually,
I
’
m
not,
”
Katie said much to his amazement. Drawing back, she grabbed his hand
and guided him to sit with her on the edge of the bed.

“
You
had a wife,
”
he pointed out.

Katie
nodded as her expression grew sorrowful.
“
And
I love her with all my heart. I would have gladly and happily spent
the rest of my life with her. But, before Lydia, I was engaged to a
man. And before him, I dated both men and women. I
’
m
technically bisexual. I find no issue loving either sex. I just
happened to fall madly in love with a spectacular woman and lived a
very happy existence with her until this happened.
”

Travis
tried to take this in. Processing it was a little harder than it
probably should be.
“
So
you
’
ve
been with men before?
”

Katie
nodded.

“
Oh,
thank God,
”
Travis said.
“
I
was worried sick about being with you and not knowing how the hell to
please you.
”

Katie
began to laugh and wrapped her arms around him.
“
You
’
re
really silly sometimes.
”

“
You
have no idea about the performance anxiety I was having. Hell, I was
afraid you
’
d
take one look at,
”
he looked down at his lap,
“
you
know…and run screaming.
”

Her
eyes widened, then she really began to laugh.
“
No,
no, I promise I won
’
t.
It
’
s
been awhile, but I am pretty sure I remember how it all works. Not
that you
’
re
getting any soon-
”

Travis
blinked and immediately realized how presumptuous he had been.
“
No,
I mean, no, Katie, of course not, I didn
’
t
mean-
”

“
I
’
m
just giving you a hard time, Travis,
”
Katie said with a soft kiss to his cheek.
“
But
honestly, all this is not as easy for me as you may think. I
’
m…”
She sighed and looked lost for words.

Travis
gently stroked her hair and kissed her cheek.
“
You
don
’
t
have to say or do anything you don
’
t
want to, Katie.
”

“
I
’
m
just dealing with a lot of guilt,
”
Katie said after a long pause.
“
I
lived my life in the gay community for almost a decade. Lydia and I
had to fight many battles against people who wanted to punish us for
loving each other. We worked tirelessly to make sure we were both
covered legally should either one of us die. We worked hard for gay
rights after we decided to live openly as a lesbian couple. We were
well known in our community and I dealt with a lot of flack from my
superiors. Even my own mother and father had trouble with the choice
I had made. When I broke up with my male fiancé and moved in
with Lydia, my Mother told me to never speak to her again, that I had
crushed her hopes and dreams.
”

Travis
listened quietly, trying to understand and feeling he might have a
slight idea of what she went through. Of course, his only frame of
reference was when he had dated a black woman for a short period and
her family had been staunchly opposed to it. He had been determined
to keep the relationship going, but she had opted to end it when the
pressure became too great. When he had informed his parents they had
broken up, he was surprised that his very liberal parents had sighed
with relief. He knew it wasn
’
t
the same, but he felt that maybe he had an inkling of what she was
talking about.

“
So,
the point of all this is, I became very used to living in the LGBT
community. And trust me that wasn
’
t
always easy. If I identified myself as bisexual, I was sometimes told
I just hadn
’
t
fully accepted being a lesbian. Lydia would defend me, but I
eventually stopped telling anyone that identified as bi. In fact,
this one woman we knew congratulated me on accepting myself as a
lesbian and not being in denial. Lydia understood, even though she
was never with a man nor was she attracted to them, that I had made a
choice to be with her because of who she was, not her gender. I need
you to understand that too.
”

Travis
nodded.
“
I
do get that, Katie. I do. And I don
’
t
expect you to not love Lydia anymore or think badly of your old
lifestyle. All I ask is that you let what we have grow and be what it
wants to be. Give me a chance to love you.
”

Katie
took a deep breath.
“
I
wasn
’
t
sure I wanted to do that, but I am now. Life is far too short. I
can
’
t
let my nightmares or my guilt keep me from enjoying what life I have
left. I realized that today. In all the insanity, death and violence,
I realized that in the end I just wanted you to hold me.
”

Travis
felt the heaviness that had been on his heart and his fears dissipate
with her words. Her took her face gently between his hands and kissed
her very softly.
“
I
want to hold you.
”