Fighting to Forget (6 page)

Chapter Nine

When her tremors subsided Larson pulled out of Tasha reluctantly and had her turned on her belly and shoved a pillow under her hips. He pulled her legs apart again, grabbed her hips, and popped out her ass. Maybe he should have gone slow, been gentle, but he couldn’t. He was like a madman now that he finally had her.

Her cheeks were now spread, and he had an unobstructed view of her asshole. God, he was going to fuck that at some point. Her pussy was spread, too, all juicy looking, swollen and pink from when he’d been plowing her.

“Why’d you stop?” she asked with a shaky voice.

“Just admiring the view, Tasha,” he said and spanked her ass lightly. He wanted to see his cum slipping out of her, wanted to see her crying out, her mouth open, her eyes closed, and her body accepting all he had to give. Larson moved lower and onto his belly so his face was right up in her cunt. She smelled sweet and musky, and he knew she’d taste the same way.

He ate her out, licked her slit from pussy hole to clit, and then moved back down again. Shoving his tongue into her opening, he fucked her with it until she started grinding herself back against his mouth. “That’s it, baby,” he growled.

“Oh, God. What are you doing to me?” Her words were muffled against the bed, but he didn’t stop licking her to answer. He flattened his tongue and moved it to her clit and sucked the little pearl into his mouth at the same time he shoved a finger into her.

Curling the digit around until he felt that little hidden bundle of nerves, he pushed another finger into her and started stroking. She was murmuring incoherent things, and he moved his mouth away to watch what was about to happen.

“Come on. Give me this. Give it to me, Tasha.”

“Oh. My. God.” She lifted up her ass a little more, and a tremor worked over her entire body as she came. He pulled his fingers out and went back to rubbing her clit. He was to the side as he watched her pussy hole clench and relax. She was screaming into the pillow now, but he didn’t stop rubbing her until she fell onto her belly and begged him to stop.

“Oh God, Larson.” She sounded exhausted, but when she turned her head to the side he could see a small smile on her face.

He took hold of the root of his shaft and started stroking himself. He could get off on the look of her pleasure alone, but it seemed she had other things in mind. Tasha rolled onto her back and reached for him.

“I’m not ready for this night to be over with, Larson.” When he was between her splayed thighs, and was positioned at her entrance again, he stared into her eyes. Slowly he pushed into her this time, never taking his eyes off of her. Resting his arm beside her head, he buried himself in her wet heat and thrust into her nice and easy.

In and out, keeping the same pace every time, and experiencing the buildup of his orgasm, was all Larson was thinking about right now.

He felt his climax approach. It started as a tingling at the base of his spine and moved quickly through him. “I’m going to come.” He bumped her clit with the root of his dick, and she mewled.

He leaned in and
kissed her just as his orgasm tore through him. He came harder than he ever had. It sucked the air from his lungs, stole his sanity, and he knew that he would never be the same.

Larson
groaned once more and stilled as his pleasure finally receded. He pulled out of her, and they lay there for several minutes, neither saying anything. He went to get off the bed, maybe to get her something to clean up with, or maybe to leave her alone so he could get his head on straight. But before he could get off the bed she spoke.

“Just hold me.”

He looked over his shoulder at her and saw the way she looked up at him, so shy, so soft, as if they hadn’t just
fucked
right now. He turned over and lay beside her again, and he wanted to hold her. Damn, did he want to hold her.

You have nothing to lose.

But he did, and that scared the shit out of him. He reached out and ran his finger along the bridge of her nose. He didn’t want to worry about the past anymore, didn’t want to hold himself back from Tasha.
He held her, kept her close to his body, and inhaled her scent. He’d finally found peace while with this woman. He closed his eyes, let himself succumbed to the darkness, and found solace in sleep. Larson found the kind of serenity where the nightmares of his past didn’t try to take him away.

****

Tasha sat across from her mother and father, the tension and uncomfortable feeling increasing the longer she was in their presence. It was like this ever since she’d had the baby, and although that was years ago, it still felt fresh whenever she was with them. They didn’t let her forget her “shame”, that was for damn sure.

“How’s work?” her father asked, but his focus was on the cell phone in front of him.

“Fine,” Tasha replied, pushing the food around on her plate, uninterested in the meal and the company. It was always like this, because no matter how much time had passed, her parents always brought up what had happened. It was like they couldn’t drop it. She’d moved on, yet they still lived in the time where she’d made them a “disgrace”, had disgusted them, and brought shame on their family name. It was like their family name was something to be prided on, or like it was royalty.

“Are you planning on going back to school like we’d talked about?” her mother asked.

Tasha stared at her mother. Genny Mackenzie was a fickle, religious woman that made everything a frantic mess. She was devoted to the church in their town, and although Tasha had also grown up in the church, loved going and the people there, it was her parents that had made her feel like she’d done something that could never be forgiven. Yes, she’d made a mistake, a big one that created a new life, but also one that left Tasha broken inside.

Would she always feel shame for what she did? She had back then, but she’d grown into a woman, knew the rights and wrongs of what had happened, but also knew that what she’d done wasn’t a sin that would lead her to hell. She now realized that even if she had kept the baby she couldn’t have supported him, couldn’t have given him the life he deserved. But according to her mother it didn’t matter how much time had passed because Tasha was still going to hell for what she’d done. Unless she fully got forgiveness from God she’d have a seat waiting for her in that fiery pit. Tasha didn’t believe that, but she also didn’t argue the subject with her mother anymore.

She looked at her plate of food, pushed it aside, and set down her fork. “I met someone,” she stated without looking up, and when the silence stretched out she finally looked at her parents. They stared at her, and she stared right back.

“You met someone at this fighting gym you work at?” her mother asked with this snap in her voice.

“Yes.” Tasha nodded and straightened her shoulders. “I did.”

Her mother just shook her head, and her father leaned back in his chair, breathing out heavily.

“Have you told him about your … problem?” her mother asked in a pinched voice.

“My problem?’ Tasha asked, although she knew what her mom was referring to.

“Don’t be snappy with your mother, Tasha. You know exactly what she’s referring to.” Her father, Theodore, tossed his napkin on the table and crossed his arms over his chest.

“You mean the baby I had when I was seventeen?” she asked, not going to do this again. “The baby I gave away all those years ago that you still throw back in my face like it was the worst possible sin I could ever commit?” This was an ongoing conversation, or more aptly an accusation her parents threw at her at any opportunity.

“You’re being overly dramatic, Natasha.” Her mother used her full name when she was angry with her. Ever since Tasha was old enough to make up her own mind she’d gone by Tasha, not Natasha, because thinking of her birth name made her think of her mother and all the times she felt let down.

“No, I haven’t told him, but I will.” She looked down at her hands that were folded on the table. “I really like him, have for a while now, and don’t want to keep anything from him.”

Her mother pinched her lips. “So you plan on being serious with this boy?”

“Man.”

“What?” her mother questioned, and raised a plucked blonde brow.

“He’s a man, Mom. He’s much older than me.” She was going to have this escalate even further by going down this road, but if things got serious with Larson he’d have to meet her family at some point. It was a necessary evil.

Her mother shook her head again, the disgust clear on her face. “Again, Natasha?”

Tasha leaned back, not responding.

“I thought you learned from the last time, or at least were smarter than getting involved with men that only look for one thing from you.” Her mother stood, grabbed the plates, and shook her head as she left the dining room.

Tasha looked at her dad and saw the disappointment in his eyes, like she always did when she looked at him. “I don’t know what to say,” she spoke, saying exactly what was on her mind. “This is my life. I’m an adult, know what’s best for me, live on my own, and I wish, just for once, I could come here and not feel like I was seventeen telling you about being knocked up.”

Her father breathed out in exaggeration. “Do you have to be so crude when you speak?”

She closed her eyes, ready to just leave. This was the same routine every time she came here, yet she still visited, hoping one day it wouldn’t be like this. “Dad, I just wish you and Mom would understand and accept that I’m happy.” She opened her eyes. “I made mistakes when I was younger, but for how long will you hold it against me, tell me I’m going to hell unless I ask for forgiveness?”

Her father didn’t respond.

“A baby was created, a new life. How much of a sin can that be?” Before her father could respond, she grabbed her bag that was on the floor by her feet, stood, and slung it over her arm. “Bye, Dad.”

He still didn’t respond.

“Bye, Mom,” she said, turned, and left her parents’ house, feeling even shittier than she had when she decided to come visit. Her happiness was overshadowed now, and she hated that, hated that she let them control that part of her.

Chapter Ten

The crowd went wild right on the other side of the wall Larson leaned against. He pushed away from the crumbled brick and plaster of the abandoned building where the underground fight was currently being held, cracked his knuckles, and felt adrenaline fill him. He was full of energy tonight, would fight and get the hits in instead of the other way around. He was happy, damn happy, and fighting to let off that steam was just what he needed. He’d also been challenged, and because of that he had to uphold his reputation and therefore not back down.

He thought about Tasha, but promptly pushed her out of his mind. She had no place here tonight, no place with this violence and gore. There was a knock on the rusty door, and a bouncer pushed it open, stuck his head inside, and told him it was time.

Larson pushed the people out of his way once he left the small room where he waited for his turn to hop in the cage. Tilting his head in acknowledgement toward a few of the fighters he’d seen throughout the years, he made his way toward the crudely erected cage in the center of the room. He got himself pumped, anticipating what was to come.

He moved forward just as the other fighters dragged their sorry asses out of the ring. Larson faced off with the fighter that stepped forward.

Come on, motherfucker, let’s do this.

The other guy wasted no time and charged forward. Larson slammed his fist into the other fighter’s face, and felt the surge of adrenaline flood his body from the impact. It felt good to deliver violence and felt fucking fantastic to see the blood pour out of the other man’s nose because he had just broken it.

Larson slammed his fist into the other guy’s face again and again until blood covered his knuckles, splattered across his bare chest, and made him feel even more alive. His energy kept building, kept taking control until there was no sane and logical part of him left. He hit the man again and loved that his eyes rolled back and he fell to the ground. Larson was still so juiced up, still needed to kick another motherfucker’s ass because he wasn’t nearly done yet.

He turned in a circle, staring at all the guys lined up to fight and at all the people crowed in to watch the mayhem. He lived for this shit, had done this to get out his aggression, and of course make his living. These fights were straight-up street rules, and that was exactly how Larson liked it.

The crowd went wild when they had to pull the fighter out of the cage because he was out cold. The next fighter to take the center stage grinned. The end result would always be the same. Larson didn’t prance around what was happening, just held his fists up, prepared for another win, and threw a left hook. The other guy fell back on his ass without even being given the opportunity to throw a punch.

A total knockout as they said in boxing.

Sweat dripped down Larson’s temples, and he tasted the metallic, tangy flavor of blood in his mouth from the last guy that had managed to hit him. The other guy finally pulled his sorry ass off the ground, and turned his head to spit out a mouthful of blood. The crowd went wild once again, and he had to give the scrawny fuck some credit for having balls.

More sweat dripped off Larson’s bare chest and fell to the rust stained color mat that once had been white. The other guy suddenly charged forward. He swung left, and then right, but Larson easily dodged the attempt. The other fighter caught his jaw, and Larson stumbled back. His lip split, and blood dripped down his chin. So this little shit had some bite in him. Good, because Larson didn’t like things to be easy.

Larson ran the back of his hand over his mouth and noticed the blood smeared across it.
I hope you enjoyed that hit, because it is the only one you’re going to get.

He charged forward, and saw the fighter’s eyes widen before he slammed his fist into the side of his head. The guy stumbled backward, and Larson could have easily kept going, but he didn’t want to kill the guy ... not tonight at least. The guy lay passed out on the floor, a bloody mess. Spectators roared out for more, and the adrenaline pumped through his veins.

For the first time in his life he was fighting to live, not to forget.

****

“How’s everything going?”

Tasha looked up from the paperwork she was filing and stared at Sunny, Harlond’s daughter, and also the woman who was with one of the fighters. The woman was gorgeous, with a body that was curvy yet in shape, and a face and personality that were just as beautiful. She’d always been gorgeous. For a long time Tasha had felt like she was never good enough, never pretty enough. All through high school she’d been made to feel as though she was this overweight Plain Jane that couldn’t even get a date to Homecoming. But then all that changed when there was the affair with her teacher. After that ended and her life seemed to go downhill emotionally and socially, she just gave up on the idea that she’d be with anyone.

But now she smiled, thinking of Larson, about the way he made her feel, about the fact he loved her, wanted to be with her, and that when she was with him she didn’t feel like she had to pretend to be anyone but herself. He accepted her for who she was, didn’t want her to change, and never made her feel like she was less than what she was. He was a good man with a scarred past, but he was hers, and she wouldn’t change any of that for anything or anyone.

“It’s good.” She couldn’t keep the smile out of her voice.

Sunny smiled in return, and then looked over her shoulder. Tasha did the same, saw Larson in the cage with the Russian fighter named Mack, and her heart sped up as she looked at her man.

“I can see he cares about you.”

Tasha turned around, surprised at what the other woman said. “Excuse me?”

Sunny gave her a small smile. “Before London and I got together and let everyone know, I was so scared to be with him, so afraid of what my dad and the other fighters thought.” She shook her head. “It wasn’t because I was afraid to be with him, or ashamed. It was because I knew how hard a fighter’s life was, knew their reputation.” Sunny moved closer and sat in the empty seat beside Tasha.

“I didn’t know that.” Of course she didn’t. She’d only been working here for a year, but hearing Sunny open up to her like this made her feel even more wanted and connected.

“But Larson is different. He isn’t like the other guys here, doesn’t care about the title of being a champion, of winning, or anything else that almost seems superficial sometimes.”

Tasha looked at Larson again, saw him clap Mack on the back, and then he climbed out of the cage and headed to the locker room. “He is different.” Tasha hadn’t meant to say anything out loud, but when she turned back around and faced Sunny it was to see this smile on the other woman’s face.

“I don’t know what’s going on between you two—”

“I—”

Sunny held up her hand, cutting Tasha off. “Don’t worry, I’m not here to try and talk you out of it, or tell you it isn’t a good idea.” Sunny surprised her again by reaching out and grabbing her hand in hers. “I don’t judge. I just want to say that whatever is going on between the two of you is making Larson happy, and I haven’t seen him like that in…” She paused. “I’ve never seen him like that since I’ve known him, actually.” This sad expression covered Sunny’s face.

“You know about his…” Tasha didn’t finish, because although she was pretty sure Sunny knew about Larson’s past from being a part of the gym, she didn’t want to confide something to the other woman that Larson didn’t want said.

Sunny nodded, let go of Tasha’s hand, and breathed out. “I know about everything Larson went through, as does most of the town. But it isn’t because he shared any of it with anyone. He’s a private person, as I’m sure you know, and it was all over the news. I heard about it while working in the gym when some of the newer fighters were asking about it when they realized who he was.” This sad look crossed her face.

“He is a private person, but things have … progressed between us.” She stared at Sunny. “I love him,” Tasha said softly, so only Sunny heard. The sound of men fighting together, fists and legs hitting punching bags, and of curses in friendly banter, filled her ears.

“And he loves you,” Sunny said without question.

A smile covered Tasha’s face. “He does.” She felt her cheeks become hot and knew she was blushing.

“I’m glad you’re happy, and I’m glad he finally found someone that can make him feel like he deserves to be loved.”

“Sunny, can you help with these?” Mack called out.

Sunny stood, smiled down at her, and patted her on the shoulder. “If you want to talk I’m here. I know we haven’t really sat down and talked other than gym related stuff, but I’m here.”

“Sunny,” Mack called out again, the Russian fighter sounding sterner.

Sunny smiled again and turned to leave.

For several moments Tasha sat there, thinking about everything Sunny had said, and wanting to see Larson at that very moment. She stood, looked into the gym, and saw that everyone was occupied with their own workouts. She looked at the locker room door, thought about how she’d do this, then grabbed a stack of freshly laundered and folded towels and headed to where Larson was.

****

Larson got out of the shower, grabbed his towel, and quickly dried off. He wanted to take Tasha out tonight, maybe for a drive, or maybe just spend the evening with her inside, watching a movie, and holding her close. It had been so long since he’d been able to even think about doing that with a woman again. And although it may seem bland in comparison to what he could have done with her and where he could have taken her, sitting on the couch with her in his lap, holding her, and just enjoying her company and presence, was what he yearned for.

Yeah, he fucking
yearned
for it. It was almost enough to have him chuckling at how romantic he had come to feel when it concerned Tasha. He left the shower room and headed out to where the lockers and his clothes were, but he stopped when he saw her standing just inside the door. She held the towels close to her chest, and he knew by her stance and the way her fingers tightened in the material of the towels that she felt a little uncomfortable standing there.

“Tasha,” he said softly, and moved toward her. He had the towel wrapped around his waist, so he willed his dick not to harden just from the sight of her alone, and moved closer to her still. She didn’t move, and although he should have told her being in here wasn’t the right move since they were at the gym, he didn’t give a shit.

“I don’t care that anyone could come back here right now. I just wanted to see you.”

He smiled, loving this woman so much that she’d never really know the extent of it. “Come here, baby.” He held his hand out to her, gesturing her to come forward. He needed to hold her, to kiss her, and he didn’t care where he was.

Yeah, he might have nearly kicked London’s ass back in the day when he’d found out he was in the locker rooms making out with Sunny, but this was different. He knew that London had just been so in love with Harlond’s daughter that he hadn’t been able to help himself. Larson had been in his dark place back then, not sure he’d ever be able to understand that kind of need again. But now he understood it with a passion, and was going to show Tasha how much she meant to him.

He pulled her closer, tangled his hand in her hair, and kissed her senseless. While he continued to devour her mouth, he pulled her away from the door, around the row of lockers, and past the showers. Stepping into one of the empty stalls in the corner, he reached out and closed the curtain, sealing them in the shower. Pressing her to the wall, he smoothed his hand down her chest, cupped her breasts, and loved how she moaned into his mouth.

“I feel how hard you are,” she whispered.

“I’m hard for you, always for you, and only for you,” he responded, and ground himself into her belly. She was so damn soft, so curvy, and so
his
that he could have come just from dry humping her like a damn teenager.

The sound of the locker room door slamming open pierced his lust-fogged brain. And the sound of some fighters coming in cursing, laughing, and talking about what their plans for the weekend were, could have,
should
have made him stop. But he continued to kiss her. What surprised him was when she pushed on his chest, got to her knees, and pulled his towel away.

He stared at her, his chest moving up and down from the force of his arousal, and watched as she smoothed her hands over his lower abdomen.

“You’re so hard, so defined.” She continued to run her hands over his body, then higher until she was touching his pecs. “This is pretty bold for me to do,” she whispered, clearly mindful that there were guys right on the other side of the wall.

“I like this bold part of you.” He was having a hard time breathing due to how aroused he was.

She grabbed his cock, and before he could even formulate an action she had his dick in her mouth. She sucked at him, stroked him with her tongue, and then cupped his balls with her hand. He groaned, snapped his mouth closed and gritted his teeth. Slamming his hand on the tiled wall in front of him, he watched her hollow out her cheeks and take more of him into her mouth until the head of his erection bumped the back of her throat.

They were both mindless with desire, and he couldn’t handle this right now. He didn’t want to come in her mouth in the shower stall of the gym, even if it was hot as fuck. He wanted her in a bed and under him so he could worship her.