Fighting Temptation (Men Of Honor) (41 page)

Sorrow and pain still fills his gaze, breaking my heart. Even though I tried so hard not to a single tear leaks down my face, “All you need to do is look in the mirror and you will be reminded of the good this world has to offer.” His eyes close wanting to shut out my words, not believing them. But I won’t let him. I kiss his jaw, his cheek, when my lips are by his ear I push on, “You’re the best man I’ve ever known Jaxson. You’re strong, honorable and loyal. The best thing that ever happened to that little girl was having you be in the wrong place at the right time. Just like me.”

He shakes his head, “Stop,” he croaks out, not wanting to hear my words, feeling like he doesn’t deserve them. He grabs the back of my hair, his fingers gripping the heavy wet strands to pull my head back, then his delicious mouth is on mine. The kiss is filled with so many emotions, I pour all the love that I can into it, trying to erase the pain and anguish that doesn’t belong there.

He arranges my legs so they hang in the crook of his arms, then in one smooth motion he slams himself inside of me, completing me. I sob against his lips at the perfection our bodies make. “You’re so good. Perfect, perfect for me,” I cry into his mouth as he thrusts deep inside of me. I cling to him and give him all of me, letting him use my body as an outlet for his pain.

I drop my head back against the wall as he bends down drawing a taut nipple in his mouth. I whimper, water and tears mixing down my face as I feel my orgasm begin to build.

Jaxson groans, “That’s it baby, I can feel it, you’re close.” He speeds up his pace, slamming into me faster and deeper, hitting the exact spot that I need him to. Closing my eyes I let the orgasm wash over me. Jaxson holds me through it all until I’m limp and sated.

Opening my eyes I see him watching me while he continues to thrust inside of me. I bring my head forward from the wall and kiss his lips, “I love you, every amazing part of you.” His breathing kicks up and his hands grip my wet skin tighter, “Let go Jax. I wanna feel you come inside of me.”

And he does; he buries his face in my neck and groans through the intensity of his pleasure. We stay in our position, soaking in a state of bliss. I feel myself starting to slip so I go to unwind my legs from his waist but he holds me tighter, “No. Don’t leave,” he rasps in my neck, the desperate plea tugging at my heart.

I lean down where his face is still buried in my neck and bring my lips to his ear, “I’ll never leave you Jaxson. I’ll stay for as long as you will have me.”

“Forever,” he mumbles in my neck.

“Forever,” I repeat the word, my heart filling with peace.

“Well Julia I am happy to tell you that you’re completely healthy,” Doctor Bayer says with a smile, while looking through my paperwork.

I smile back, “So it’s just stress then?”

“Actually no. You’re pregnant.”

I stare at her in shock, swearing I misunderstood her.

“What?”

She smiles brightly, “You’re pregnant.”

“But, but that’s impossible. You told me I couldn’t get pregnant.”

“No. I said your chances of getting pregnant are slim, but I didn’t say it was impossible.”

“But I’m on the pill?”

Her expression turns serious, “Yes, which is something you have to stop taking now. This is very unusual, but I have heard of it happening before.”

I’m pregnant.
I put my hand to my stomach, warmth spreading through my body.

“The last time we spoke you were not sexually active. Obviously that has changed?”

I smile softly, “Yes. It’s very new, but he’s someone I’ve known for a long time. Someone that I’ve been in love with for a long time.”

She smiles, “That’s good to hear. I know how much it hurt you when I told you about your condition. We will send you for an ultra-sound so we can determine a due date but for it to show up on the test, I’d say it must have happened right at the beginning.”

She writes something on a piece of paper and hands it to me. “This is the name of some prenatal vitamins you can pick up. My office will call you with a date for the ultra-sound.” She puts her hand tenderly on my shoulder, “I’m happy this happened for you Julia.”

Emotion clogs my throat, “Me too.”

And I was. For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to be a mother and when I thought it would never happen for me it broke my heart. Finding out I am going to have the baby I’ve always wanted, but also for it to be Jaxson’s…

Oh god, Jaxson.

I walk into Big Mike’s Gym to meet up with Cade and Sawyer. We set up a meeting with Mike to talk business. The more I’ve thought about buying into this gym the more I want to do it. Sawyer, Cade and I have come up with some pretty cool shit that we want to do with the place.

And if I was being honest I liked the idea they were going to be sticking around. Ya Sawyer can drive me fucking nuts, especially when he’s fucking with me about Julia. But other than Cooper, these guys are like the brothers I never had. We have been to hell and back together, literally…

“Hey man, where’s Julia?” Sawyer asks cutting my thoughts off. He and Cade walk over from the sparring ring.

“She has a doctor’s appointment then she’s meeting with Kayla to talk wedding shit. Cooper said he would bring her home after.”

“How’s she doing?” Cade asks.

I shrug, “Better I guess. She found out the other day she got the job she’s been wanting at the elementary school so that’s seemed to bring her spirits up.”

“So are we going to deal with the fucker or what?” Sawyer asks seriously.

I let out a breath and run my hands through my hair, “Ya, we are. I just need to decide how I want to handle him. I don’t want to make shit hard for Coop.”

“Just let us know when you have it figured out,” Cade says.

I nod, “I will.”

Big Mike sticks his head out of his office with a big grin, “Come on in boys, let’s talk business.”

Two hours later, agreements were made and things were set in motion for us to take over the gym. Normally the thought of a commitment like this would have me freaking the fuck out, but it actually feels good, real good. And I can’t wait to see Julia’s face when I tell her.

Anxiety has my heart racing the whole drive home.

“Everything alright Julia? You seem quiet,” Copper asks glancing at me in concern.

Kayla looks over at me sympathetically. I wanted to tell Jaxson before anyone else but Kayla knew right away something was wrong. So I cracked and told her; I’m thankful I did. She was extremely happy for me, and shared in my excitement but I know she’s also nervous about Jaxson’s reaction.

I paste a big fake smile on my face, “Ya I’m fine. I’m just tired is all,” I can tell Coop doesn’t believe me but thankfully he lets it go.

Kayla reaches over inconspicuously grabbing my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. I let out a heavy breath and give her a small smile. Maybe I’m worrying over nothing. I know Jaxson said having kids was something he never wanted, but a lot has changed since then. And there’s been a new peace over us since that night after his nightmare, the night he finally opened up to me. He told me he wanted me forever, surely that has to mean something?

My thoughts get cut off abruptly when Cooper pulls into my driveway. “Thanks for the ride Cooper.”

“No problem.”

I turn to Kayla and give her a hug, “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, I can’t wait to go dress shopping.”

“Me too,” she says brightly, then she lowers her voice, “call me if you need me.”

I nod and give her a small smile. As soon as I get out of the truck Jaxson walks out of the house to greet me. He waves at Coop as he pulls away.

“Hey beautiful,” he pulls me against him, my arms go around his neck and his hands go to my ass. His scent envelopes me and my anxiety eases when he gives me the most delicious kiss.

I moan, “Well hello to you too,” I whisper against his lips.

“How was your appointment? What did the doctor say?”

And there it is, my anxiety back full force. Jaxson picks up on it immediately, “Jules, baby, everything okay?”

I take a deep breath and nod my head, “Ya but can we go inside and talk?”

He nods, his expression getting more concerned by the second. I grab his hand and walk into the house, leading him to the couch in the living room. My heart is pounding so loudly I’m sure Jaxson can hear it too. I sit next to him and turn to face him. My knee is bouncing wildly up and down from nerves. Jaxson pulls my hand away from my mouth and I realize I’m chewing my nails.

“Jules, you’re freaking me the fuck out. What’s going on? Did the doctor give you bad news? Are you sick?”

I shake my head, and let out a deep breath, “Umm no it’s nothing like that. Um, well, umm,” I let out another heavy breath, “I’m pregnant.”

Jaxson doesn’t move, doesn’t even blink. He just stares at me, his eyes going flat.

Uh oh.

“What did you just say?” he chokes out.

“I’m pregnant,” I whisper nervously.

He shoots off the couch and starts pacing frantically, running his hand through his hair repeatedly. “How the fuck did this happen?”

I assume that was a rhetorical question, so I don’t answer.

“I thought you couldn’t get pregnant?”

“I did too. It turns out that my case is very unusual, but it has happened and I’m one of the lucky ones.”

He stops pacing and stares at me in shock and outrage, “Lucky!? Julia, there’s nothing fucking lucky about this. Fuck!” he screams and storms into the kitchen.

I get up and follow after him. His arms are braced on the counter, head down, his body vibrating with… well I’m not sure what. Anger? Fear? Probably both.

I walk up and lay my hand on his back, “I know this is a shock Jax, it was for me too, but everything will be okay. You’ll see.”

He moves, throwing my hand off him in the process and when he looks at me, my heart sinks into my stomach. He has so much anger in his eyes I’d swear he hates me right now.

I try to push aside my emotions, knowing that he’s scared.

“None of this is fucking okay Julia. None of it, not for you, not for me and especially not for the fucking kid. Do you not remember who my father is?”

And then it becomes perfectly clear, what he fears the most, being like his father.

“I remember all about your father and I’m glad I never had to meet him. But your father has nothing to do with this.” I walk up to him slowly and try to grab his hand, “You are nothing like your father Jaxson.” He moves his hand away before I can grab it, making it achingly clear he doesn’t want me to touch him.

“What the fuck are you talking about? I am exactly like my father, because that’s all I knew growing up. Why do you think I said I never fucking wanted kids? What part did you not understand?”

Anger starts mixing in with my hurt. “Jaxson, you’re acting as if I did this on purpose for god-sakes.”

“Did you!?”

I narrow my watery eyes, “Be careful Jaxson, because some things you can’t take back once they’re said. I am not a liar and you know it.” He clenches his jaw and glares back at me. Taking a deep breath I try to hold on to my control and take a different tactic. “Listen, I know you’re in shock and probably a little scared,” he scoffs but I continue, not letting him interrupt me, “so am I, but I’m also really happy. I didn’t think this would ever happen to me. I thought I’d never get a chance to be a mother and the best part of all of this to me, is that it’s yours. We love each other Jaxson. We…