Fighting for You (14 page)

Dropping her head, Julie said, “You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking coming here. I guess the main problem was that no one else knows, so I didn’t have anyone to talk to. Ugh, that still isn’t your problem. I know this must have been really awkward for you and for Ella. Please tell her I’m sorry for upsetting her plans.”

Declan could tell by the gleam in her eyes, she had heard Ella tell him all of her plans before she had discovered Julie was there. “Yeah, I’ll do that. We’ll talk when we get our test results back. Good luck with Graham. I hope things work out the way you want.” She apologized once more and was gone. He immediately picked up the phone to call Ella, but then decided against it. This was probably one time that he should make the trip in person.

***

As soon as she got home Ella fell face down in her bed. She didn’t know what was worse, having Julie overhear what she said or that she was at Declan’s in the first place. The whole thing had seemed so strange. She hadn’t seen Evan anywhere so was Julie there by herself? Was she trying to get Declan back? Of course, she hadn’t really had him to start with, but they had been intimate for that one night. She knew firsthand that that wasn’t something a woman would ever forget.

For the first time, she felt insecure in their relationship. She wasn’t even sure if what they had been doing qualified as a real relationship, at least to him. They had sex and spent a lot of time together. But was it more than that to him? She didn’t really have any experience to fall back on to guide her. All she knew was that when she left Declan hadn’t followed her as she had half hoped he would. Julie was still there and she was home alone. When she had started this whole thing with him, she hadn’t really thought much about what would happen when it was over. Suddenly, she realized it could end at the drop of a hat. There might not be a long speech about how great it had been, it might just be over. Her mother was always telling her that she never looked at the big picture and maybe in this instance she was right.

Just as her pity party was well and truly under way, there was a brisk knock at her door. She stiffened and debated ignoring it. There could only be two possibilities at this time of the evening, her mother or Declan. She wasn’t sure she wanted to deal with either of them tonight but the knocking continued and she didn’t want her neighbors to start complaining. A quick look out her peephole showed the person she hoped was the lesser of the two evils. Taking a deep breath, she swung the door open and hoped that Declan wasn’t here to have that talk with her now.

When he pulled her gently into his arms with a husky “Ellie,” she let out the breath she had still been holding. He was embracing her so tightly that it bordered on pain, but she had no desire to stop him. She needed whatever she could get from him right now. Maybe she wasn’t handling this revelation as well as she had thought. Things were so new between them and now things were going to change, they had to. Declan had a son now and with that would come new demands on his time. Julie would also be in his life in some capacity now. Would what she had walked in on earlier become the norm? She had felt like an outsider and she hated that. She had no official place in Declan’s life, but Julie did. She was the mother of his child. How could she ever compete with that?

But she was distracted from her list of worries as Declan placed a series of kisses along her neck causing her to shiver. He pulled back to look at her. “You left so fast, I didn’t get a chance to talk to you. Are you . . . were you upset over Julie being at my apartment?”

Ella pulled back and tried to pretend a worldliness that she was far from feeling. She was a horrible liar and knew that her face always gave her away so she directed her gaze to the wall beyond his shoulder before answering. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. I know that Julie and Evan are in your life now, and it’s really none of my business. I shouldn’t have shown up without being invited.”

Declan turned her chin so she was facing him and could see the wary look on his face. “That’s a lot of bullshit you’re shoveling there, Ellie. I didn’t think we were in the habit of lying to each other. You’ve never censored yourself before so don’t bother to start now.”

He was right of course, she always blurted out what was on her mind. What was the worst that could happen? “Alright, you asked for it, remember that. Julie being there with you made me very uncomfortable. I felt like I didn’t belong even though we are sort of together now, aren’t we?”

Pulling her back into his arms, she felt his lips brush the top of her head. “Yes, baby, we are. I knew you felt that way; it was written all over your face before you bolted. Let’s have a seat and I’ll fill you in on one of the weirder hours of my life.”

When Declan finished telling her about Julie’s visit, she had to agree with him on the weird factor. “Isn’t Claire her friend? Wouldn’t you think she would call her if she was upset instead of you?”

“Yeah, you’d think. I don’t see it happening again though. I was pretty blunt with her after you left. I know it sounds bad considering the circumstances, but she’s a stranger to me. I was pissed off at being put in that position, especially since I knew you were upset over it.”

Ella cuddled closer to him, relieved that there had been a simple explanation for what she had walked in on. She was still uneasy over Julie’s place in his life, but she told herself she was just paranoid. Julie was engaged, and had no interest in Declan other than his connection with Evan. After the dust settled, they would work out some kind of schedule and he would only see Julie in passing. She could live with that. She reached up to slide her hands in his thick hair, pulling his lips down to hers. “I’m okay now. I’m just glad you’re here.”

Teasing her mouth with a series of nibbling kisses, he whispered, “So am I, Ellie. Now I believe you mentioned something earlier about wanting to watch me.” Her eyes widened when he stood up and pulled her to her feet. She squeezed her thighs together as she followed him into her bedroom, trying to alleviate the ache that had settled there. Was he really going to masturbate in front of her? The thought of seeing him stroke his cock while she watched was enough to have her breathing heavy before he had even removed his pants. When she walked over to help him remove his shirt, he pushed her hands gently away. “Oh no, baby, this is all for you. I want you to take off your clothes and sit in the chair next to the bed where you can see me.” When she hesitated, without looking up from discarding his own clothes, he commanded, “Now, Ellie!”

She jumped in surprise, but quickly stripped down to her bra and panties. She looked at him for direction. “Should I leave these on?”

Shaking his head, he said, “No, take off everything. You might want to touch yourself again while you watch me, and I want to be able to see all of you.”

Ella only thought she had been excited before. She was positively shaking now. Her sex was swollen and wet, her nipples hard and pebbled. She sat back in the chair, crossing her legs before Declan walked over to her. “Oh no, sweet girl, I want to see it all.” He pulled her legs apart and looped an ankle over each arm of the chair, arranging her until she was spread wide. “I want you to stroke yourself while you watch me, but don’t orgasm until I tell you, okay?”

She was surprised and more than a little turned on by this new bossy side of Declan. At that moment, she probably wouldn’t have objected if he had wanted to spank her. Go big or go home, right? When Declan reclined back on the bed and started stroking his hard length, she wanted to swoon. He was so hot and to her, he was absolute perfection. His cock visibly grew before her eyes and she knew from experience how hard it would be now. He curled one hand around the base while increasing the speed of his other hand. She was surprised to look down and see her own hand stroking through the wetness between her thighs. She hadn’t even realized that she had moved. The room was filled with the sounds of their ragged breathing. Feeling herself nearing the edge, she moaned, “Can’t hold out much longer.”

His movements grew rougher as he said, “Not yet, Ellie. Slow your strokes and wait for me.” Her body clenched in protest as she followed his orders, moving her fingers away from her clit. “Pinch your nipples baby. Imagine my mouth on them, tugging and sucking you.”

Her moan echoed in the room as his words seemed to send a jolt straight through her. Her nipples pebbled as she pulled and twisted them into stiff peaks. Her sex clenched and she knew that she was on the edge of coming no matter how hard she was trying to hold back. “Declan,” she whimpered, “I need . . .”

“Now, baby!” he shouted. Needing no further urging, she felt her body start to spasm as she shattered. She was dimly aware of Declan’s hoarse shout, as he exploded. A moment later she was too spent to move and was surprised when she felt his hands sliding under her, lifting her into his arms. “I think I could use a shower and I’d love some company.”

She snuggled against him and smiled when she felt his lips on the top of her head. Sometimes the man was just too sweet.

Chapter Sixteen

Ella was thrilled to have some time with her best friend since Beth was more tired than usual and Ella had been spending her evenings at home with Declan. They had just settled into their massage chairs at the nail salon when Beth said matter-of-factly, “Well, I guess I’m getting married soon.” Ella and the two women giving them pedicures looked over to Beth in surprise. When the women looked at Beth’s swollen stomach pointedly she rolled her eyes and said, “Yeah, that’s right, I’m not married.” Holding up her hand to show the sparkling diamond on her ring finger, she added, “I am engaged though, so give me credit for that.” One of them shrugged her shoulders as if to say, “What are you talking about?” and then went back to work.

“Okay, let’s get back to the marriage part. I thought you were determined to wait until you had the baby.”

Beth started toying with her necklace, a move that Ella had come to recognize as Beth’s equivalent of a nervous tick. “I’ve been talking to my therapist about it. Nick doesn’t want to wait until the baby is born. You would never know it, but he has an old-fashioned streak in him. I think he just doesn’t like the thought of us not being married beforehand. It’s been kind of weighing on me since I feel like he gives so much to our relationship. I feel petty that I’m holding back on something that obviously means so much to him, you know?”

Squeezing her friend’s hand for support, she asked, “Is your pregnancy the only reason you want to wait?”

Beth’s eyes went soft, “If you’re asking if I have any doubts about Nick, the answer is no. I love him with all my heart and I know he feels the same. When I envision my future, he is what I see. I just . . . it’s so hard for me to walk down the aisle like I am now.” She held her hand up as Ella started to protest. “I know what you’re going to say, and thank you for that, but old habits die hard. With Nick’s support, I have made so much progress. I no longer freak out if I’ve gained a pound. I have accepted that it’s always going to be hard for me, but it doesn’t have to be the sole focus of my life. My therapist thinks it will be a turning point for me to go ahead and get married now instead of waiting solely because of my size. I want to do this for Nick and for myself.”

Ella felt her eyes misting. She knew how hard this had to be on Beth and she was so proud of her. Beth had been heavy for most of her life until finally losing the weight a few years back. She had since struggled with body image issues that had driven her to an eating disorder. Her parents were overly critical of her weight and that, combined with the stress of finding out she was pregnant with twins, had overwhelmed her. Losing one of her twins to vanishing twin syndrome had been a dark time for her, but Nick’s unconditional love and support had given her the strength to admit that she had a problem and needed help.

With the help of a therapist, Ella could tell that Beth was slowly learning to accept herself and love the person she saw in the mirror. She had to agree with Beth that deciding to get married while she was pregnant was a big step for her. She had been adamant about having the baby and losing the weight before the big day, even though Nick didn’t want to wait. Ella reached over and gave Beth a one-armed hug. “I’m thrilled for you both. You’ll be a beautiful bride. So, does that mean we’re going to look at wedding dresses next?”

“Yep, you bet your ass we are. Ugh, when did I start sounding so much like my sister?”

Ella laughed, thinking to herself that no one would ever sound like Suzy. She was one of a kind. “Do you have any idea where you are going to get married?”

Beth gave her an evil grin and said, “Oh yeah, I know exactly where. I hate to look like a copycat of Claire and Suzy, but I’m going to get married on the beach. I’m sure Suzy would let me borrow her strip of sand for the occasion.”

Still not certain why Beth continued to grin, she said, “I think that’s great, but am I missing something?”

“I hate to admit this because it will probably sound kind of bad, but imagining my parents trying to walk through the sand in their uptight business attire really just sealed the deal for me. I figured trying to get sand out of their shoes would distract them from my pregnant state when I walk down the aisle.”

Ella fell back in the seat, holding her sides as she laughed until tears ran down her face. The poor woman at her feet trying to paint her toenails gave her a nasty look as she removed the polish on her big toe and started over again. She gave her a sheepish look of apology before turning back to Beth. “You may be more like Suzy than I thought. It’s rather brilliant though. From what you’ve told me, they will hate an outdoor wedding. They weren’t at Suzy’s, right?”

“Nope, they had some conference and couldn’t make the last minute arrangements. I think Suzy probably did it on purpose, even though she hasn’t admitted it.”

As it turned out, Claire and Suzy met them at the downtown bridal store and after several hours—and a lot of debate—Beth found a gown that she loved and everyone agreed on. The only thing left to do was get the marriage license and decide on the date. Ella had the feeling it would be smart to keep her schedule flexible for the next few weekends.

While everyone was waiting for Beth to get dressed and pay for her gown, Suzy asked, “So, what’s this I hear about Declan being a baby daddy now?”

Ella wasn’t surprised because she had long since discovered that Suzy knew everything, but apparently Claire was. “Whoa, back up for a minute. What are you talking about?” Then looking at Ella she dropped her voice, “Are you pregnant?”

“What? Oh no, it’s not me.”

“It’s not? Alright, I’m confused here. You aren’t freaking out. Would someone please tell me what I’ve missed?”

Suzy took pity on her and said, “Honey, don’t you ever talk to your friends? Declan appears to be the father of your girl Julie’s baby.”

Claire fell back against her seat in shock. “Shit, I knew something was going on there, but I never suspected that. Things were really weird when we ran into him in the hallway at Danvers. I even mentioned it to Jason. I just figured they had . . . um, well known each other or something.” Claire let her sentence trail off, shooting Ella a quick, “Sorry.”

Ella did her best to look like she wasn’t bothered by the whole conversation. “It’s okay. It’s been a bit of a surprise for sure. I guess they had a one-night thing years ago when he was home for a weekend and then she had no way to find him when she found out she was pregnant. They will do a paternity test, but I would be shocked if it doesn’t confirm that Declan is the father. Evan looks so much like him.”

Surprised, Claire asked, “You’ve already met Evan?”

“Yeah, we met up with them at McDonald’s. Julie told him that we were friends of hers.”

Suzy, being surprisingly gentle, asked quietly, “How do you feel about all this?”

Not for the first time, Ella thought how lucky she was to be a part of such a great group of ladies. She loved that she didn’t have to pretend with them. “I’m trying to be okay with everything. Declan having a child is a surprise, but I can handle it. I don’t mean this in a bad way toward your friend, Claire, but the thing I’m having the hardest time with is having to share him with another woman.”

Claire squeezed her hand, “I completely understand. Julie is my friend, but so are you. If it makes you feel any better, I know she’s engaged so I don’t think she would ever look to Declan for anything romantic.”

“I’d feel a little better about that if she hadn’t been at his place last night when I got there.”

“Doing what?” Suzy demanded.

Shaking her head in shame, Ella said, “I completely embarrassed myself in front of her. When he opened the door, I jumped on him and said some, er . . . things that I hope she didn’t hear. I got out of there as fast as I could.”

Suzy turned to Claire, “Please tell me your friend isn’t a nut like Reva.” Ella knew from Beth that Gray had briefly dated Reva before they got together and that she had tried to trick Gray into believing that the baby she was carrying was his. Luckily, she had suffered an attack of conscience and confessed before she had completely ruined the relationship between Gray and Suzy. Ella could only imagine that some of this was hitting close to home for her.

“No, I’m sure she isn’t. Wow, I still can hardly process all of this.”

“Declan did show up at my place shortly after that. He said that she was upset over a fight with her fiancé. He told her that he wasn’t happy about being put in that position and I guess that was it. I just don’t get why she would go over there in the first place. I mean I know they had sex once, but she hardly even knows him.”

Beth walked out with her dress and asked, “Hardly knows who?”

The next several minutes were spent filling Beth in and letting her process her shock.

“Now that everyone knows, give me your honest opinion. Should I be worried about this?”

When there was nothing but awkward silence for a few moments, Suzy sighed and said, “Babe, I’m not going to sugarcoat this for you. I’d be on my guard. I’m not saying there’s anything to be worried about, but until you are certain that this Julie doesn’t want to play happy family with your man, I would keep my eyes open.”

Claire, looking even more pained, nodded hesitantly. “I would never say anything bad about a friend, because I truly don’t think Julie would intentionally try to come between you and Declan, but sometimes things can get confused. If it makes you feel any better, when they met at Danvers, I didn’t detect any type of spark between them. There seemed to be some recognition factor, but nothing sexual. The fact that he took you to meet his son for the first time says a lot about your place in his life.”

“I agree,” Beth chimed in, “That’s huge for a guy.” Just then her phone rang. Smiling at the display she said, “Speaking of guys, here is mine now.” Clicking the button to answer with a, “Hey babe,” she rolled her eyes as she listened for a moment. “Yes, Dad, I’m well aware of how swollen my feet are.”

“Oh barf,” Suzy shuddered, “I really wish she wouldn’t call Nick, ‘dad.’ Talk about a bad mental image.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Beth laughed as she finally hung up. “I can’t help it if the man nags me all the time. I did promise him to come home and put my feet up. If someone will roll me back up, I’ll be on my way.”

Ella was surprised to see a brief look of sadness cross Suzy’s face as she helped Beth to her feet. The look was so fleeting; she had to wonder if she had imagined it. Maybe like her, everyone had their own stuff that they were dealing with. Even someone as no-nonsense as Suzy could still have an off day.

***

The next few weeks passed in a blur. In addition to her regular responsibilities at work, she was also helping Beth and Suzy organize the Danvers Christmas party. Just as she had expected, the results of the paternity tests had proved that Declan was Evan’s father. Julie and Declan had told him at McDonald’s since, apparently, that is where everyone takes their kids when they want to share big news without freaking them out. Ella hadn’t been invited along on that trip, but she thought it was probably something that needed to be done without an extra person along. Declan had said that Evan took it well and his only question had been, “Does this mean we will play cars together a lot now?”

Declan had asked her to go with him to take Evan to the zoo tomorrow. It was their first outing without Julie along and she knew that he was nervous about going alone. Today though, she had convinced him to help her paint her kitchen and so far, thanks to her dropping her paint brush twice, they were both splattered from head to foot. She placed the blame solely on Declan. How was she supposed to concentrate with him wearing low-slung jeans and no shirt?

When his phone buzzed in his pocket, he cradled it against one ear while continuing to paint with the other. “Julie, I don’t know. He doesn’t know me that well. Aren’t kids afraid to sleep away from home? How does he feel about this? Give me a minute and I’ll call you back.” He put down the paintbrush and gave her a grimace. “Ellie . . . I need some help.”

“She wants you to babysit Evan doesn’t she?”

“Yeah, but it’s not that simple. You know that she and Graham are still having problems so she wants me to take Evan overnight so they can have some time alone.”

So far she didn’t see a problem, so she didn’t understand why he was looking at her with a beseeching look in his eyes. “And that’s okay with you, right?”

“I don’t mind, but I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. Do you . . . could we stay here with you or could you stay with us? I know it’s not fair to ask you and I promise I don’t expect you to babysit, but I don’t know what to do if he freaks out or something.”

Ella smiled thinking she had never seen Evan and his father look more alike than at that moment. She walked over to him and put her hand on his broad chest, loving the feel of his warm skin. “Of course you guys can stay with me. If Evan freaks out, we are probably both screwed, but I’m here for moral support. I’ll clean up and run to the store for some supplies. Why don’t you call her back and give her my address so she can drop him off.”

Declan nuzzled her under her chin, which made her shiver in response. Would there ever be a time when she didn’t ignite just from a simple look or touch from him? She had been tormenting him by painting in a long T-shirt with nothing underneath and the breath left her body when he whipped it up over her head. “She can wait, I can’t.” When he took her nipple into his mouth, sucking it until her knees gave way, she didn’t even notice the ends of her hair trailing into the paint tray behind her.

***

“You look like a skunk, Ellie.”

Ella looked up from the strange text she had just received from her sister. She could see Declan smothering a laugh at his son’s innocent statement.

Patting Evan on the head, she said, “Thanks, kid. I got a little too close to a man with a paintbrush.”

Declan circled behind her placing a kiss on her head as he passed. “I promise we’ll get you some paint thinner or something before work tomorrow.” Suddenly he froze, “Who’s got a key to your place, babe?” The answer to that question had them both cringing as the door opened and her mother and Crystal stood on the threshold. She heard Declan’s quiet, “Fuck me,” beside her and hoped that her mother and Evan hadn’t.