Fighting for Flight (23 page)

“Here’s the thing. I’ve never had sex without a
condom. I’ve also never made love to a woman before. How would you
feel about me not wearing one?”

“Ugh! Jonah, you’re seriously killing the moment
here.” I speak my muffled complaint into the pillow.

“What? I’m being thorough. It’s your first time and
I want it to be good for you. I think going bareback would be
better. But I won’t do it without your permission.”

“Bareback?”

“Without a condom.”

I’ve had fantasies about what my first time with
Jonah would be like. In all my versions of this moment, I never had
a conversation that involved the word bareback. This reminder of
Jonah’s sexual experience to my lack thereof is off-putting. But I
love him and I believe he loves me. There’s no doubt in my mind
that he has my best interest at heart. He always does.

“I trust you.”

His weight lifts and he falls to my side. I prop
myself up on my elbows and look into his handsome, smiling
face.

“All right, no more talking.”

On a growl, he leans over and possesses my mouth.
His tongue glides along mine, rekindling my need. I tilt my head
and press in deeper. My toes curl and my back arches in an attempt
to get closer. He sucks my tongue into his mouth and runs his teeth
along it as I pull it back. The simple scrape turns my insides to
liquid.

More.

The word echoes in my head, sending the message to
every nerve cell in my body. He’s consuming me, and I want nothing
more than to crawl inside him. His hand curls around the back of my
head and he rolls. My legs open to him, cradling his body. He
hovers over me, the hard plains of his chest cushioned against my
breasts. Flexing his hips, he grinds into me with solid steel and I
swallow his moan.

His hands dig into my hair, grabbing it firmly at
the roots. A slight tug opens my mouth further and he plunges
deeper. With firm pressure he continues to rock against me,
building my impending release. My stomach flips with the promise of
what’s to come.

Breaking free for air, he kisses down my neck,
leaving me panting for breath. His warm mouth closes over the firm
tip of my breast. Electricity shoots down my torso to my womb. He
switches back and forth, sucking on one while rolling the tip of
the other between his finger and thumb. I slide my legs against
his, restless and impatient.

“So fucking responsive,” he growls, the rumble of
his deep voice against my chest vibrating down my body. “God, you
taste so sweet.” He licks and pulls at my breast. “I want to taste
the rest of you.”

His words are rocket fuel to my libido. I’m writhing
and panting. His hands roam down my torso to between my legs. My
body bows off the bed. If I wasn’t so wanton, I’d be embarrassed at
my lack of control.

He runs his lips down the length of my body, pausing
only to nip at my belly button.

“Mmm, Jonah . . .” I want to say something to
communicate how good he feels against my skin, but I’m too lost in
the sensation.

Hooking his fingers into the fine lace of my
panties, he shreds them with a firm tug. I moan, lifting my hips,
and he tosses the flimsy lace to the floor. I’m all feeling and
emotion, completely void of rational thought.

He lifts his head and gives me his sexy, one-dimpled
smile. This one is similar to the one I’ve gotten before, but
better. Way better. His lowered lids and dark glare turn this smile
into something different all together, and I’m gone. Completely
owned with one look.

I tremble as he places himself between my legs. His
eyes lock on mine seconds before he dips down. His mouth presses
against me in a probing thrust. My head falls back. Every nerve
fires and I’m overcome with desire. His hands still my hips in a
display of full carnal domination. Gripping the sheets, I dig my
heels into the mattress and push my hips up begging for more. His
mouth commands my body, pulling my strings and pushing me on. He
slides his hands beneath my bottom to tilt my hips, delving deeper
and thrusting harder. Euphoria swirls behind my eyes with every
abrasive scratch of his stubble between my legs.

“Jonah, I’m gonna…” My words fade into a glorious
moan and I bit my lip.

He pulls back, the cold air hits me hard. I open my
eyes to see him braced above me looking intently into my face.

“Why did you stop? I didn’t . . . I was almost . . .
there.” My voice whines with disappointment.

“You’re ready.”

He’s not asking, but I nod.

Yes! I’m ready!

He kisses my chin. “You sure about this? Cause, fuck
baby, I
need
to be inside you.” He runs his tongue along my
bottom lip. “Deep inside you.”

I push my hips up and dig my fingernails into his
arms.

“Yeah, my girl’s ready.”

He slides his pants down and kicks them to the
floor. I stare openly at his arousal.

This is going to hurt. Bad.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll go slow.”

My eyes dart to his face.
Did I say that out
loud?

He crawls up my body, eyes fixed on mine. His hands
push my arms above my head, weaving our fingers together. In this
position, his weight against me, his huge body forcing my legs
apart, I’m completely at his mercy. Helpless against his invasion.
And totally safe. Warm, silken heat nudges its way in, slowly
pressing, forcing me open. Instinctively, my body resists and I
press my knees into his sides.

“Deep breath.” He brushes his lips against my jaw.
“Relax.”

Taking a deep breath, I concentrate on relaxing my
muscles. He pushes in further.

“I love you.” He speaks the words against my neck,
feathering kisses against my skin.

He releases my hands, and I brace them against his
ribs. His pulse races against my palms. His hazel eyes darken and
worry crosses his face.

“What’s wrong?”

“This is it.”

“It?”

A deep pink blush colors his cheeks. My eyes
widen.

Oh, IT.

He looks conflicted. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

I wrap my legs around his hips and use my heels to
press him to me. “I’m ready, Jonah. I want this. I want you to be
the one to do it. I love you.” The confidence in my voice mirrors
the feelings in my heart.

He smiles so sweetly that I’m forced to catch my
breath.

“Okay, baby. Take a deep breath and blow it out
slowly.”

My eyes lock on his in determination. Taking a deep
breath through my nose, I hold it and nod. I blow the breath out
slowly, and when I’m almost out of air, he buries himself
completely. A hiss shoots from his lips as he pushes past the final
barrier of my virginity. My eyes slam shut at the searing pain.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I love you.” Tender
brushes of his lips trail from my jaw to my shoulder.

After a minute, I release his hips, my legs no
longer able to hold him with their quivering muscles. The burn
recedes, leaving behind a delicious fullness.

Past the pain, I focus on Jonah’s face: both
dimples, full teeth, and shining eyes. Pure male pride.

He cups my face, running his thumbs along my cheeks.
“Feel okay?”

“Perfect.” I rake my hands into his hair and pull
him in for a deep, wet kiss.

“My girl.”

His movements start slow, dissolving my discomfort
and awakening my hunger. I scrape my nails along his scalp,
grasping in desperation. Closer, deeper, harder. More. I don’t know
what’s come over me. All I know is that I need Jonah more than
oxygen.

“Jonah, I—”

A gasp robs me of my words as he rocks into my body.
Ripples of pleasure shoot up my torso and coil in my chest. I grip
his backside with two hands, feeling the flex and release of his
muscles as he moves between my legs.

Possession pushes below the surface of my skin. An
animalistic satisfaction at being marked, permanently changed by
the man I love.

“More.” The simple spoken word has him rolling his
hips deeper, and thrusting harder.

Yes!

I groan as the tension builds, churning low and
ready to burst.

“You’re perfect. So hot, and fuck, so tight,” he
growls into my mouth.

I’m hot and writhing, his words and body mastering
mine. Every angle winds me tighter, pushing me higher. I buck
against him, searching for release.

A shift of his hips in the right spot and sparks fly
behind my eyes. I suck in a lungful of air, my release shooting
through my body. My nails dig into his biceps and I call out his
name against his lips. He continues to rock into me. And just like
an expert guitar player hitting the perfect chord, another
explosion of pleasure pushes through me. My heels dig into the bed,
riding out my climax. Blissful satisfaction washes over me in
waves. I labor for breath, floating down and sinking into the
bed.

Is it always like this?

My body hums. I blink away the post-orgasm fog. My
limbs fall to the side, sated and heavy.

It’s only then that I notice Jonah still moving
above me. His colorful arms flex and pulse. His eyes lock on mine,
and he bites his bottom lip. I can’t resist the urge to taste it
myself and push up to pull at the soft flesh with my teeth. He
releases it and I suck it deep into my mouth.

He quickens his pace then growls his release. Heat
fills my body where the sting has died to a dull ache. I lick and
suck at his lips and tongue until his movement slows. He collapses
onto my body, and I wrap my legs around his waist, my arms around
his neck. We breathe heavy, chest to chest, hearts pounding against
each other, until we calm.

“I’m not ready to give you up,” he says against my
skin while moving gently inside me.

“I’m not ready to be given up.”

We kiss, this time absent of the heat from earlier.
Only gentle touches and whispers of affection.

“Thank you, Jonah. That was better than I
imagined.”

His lips brush mine once more before he rolls off of
me. I wince as he pulls free from our connection. He falls to my
side and wraps me in his arms.

My head on his chest, he takes a deep breath. “Baby,
that was incredible.”

We lie in silence, Alicia Keys singing “How it Feels
to Fly” and soothing the aftershocks of our lovemaking. The lyrics
send goose bumps racing across my skin. Lying here in Jonah’s arms,
having given him the only thing of worth that I have to give, I’ve
never felt freer. Tears sting my eyes, and I swipe at one that
rolls down my cheek.

“Ah, shit. I’m sorry. Was it too rough? Are you
okay?” Jonah’s hands are at my face, wiping at the moisture beneath
my eyes.

Propping myself up, I look at him and smile. “Do I
look okay?”

“No. I mean, of course, you look amazing. But you’re
crying.”

He continues to dry my wayward tears. I stop his
hands with mine. “I’m fine. It’s been an emotional day.” My fingers
trace the tattoo on his chest. “Was it, um, okay? You know, for
you?”

He throws his head back in a quick burst of
laughter. “Shit, let’s put aside the fact that I’m in love with
you. Let’s also not count the fact that being skin on skin, no
barrier between me and your hot, wet, gripping—”

I smack him playfully in the arm, my lips upturned
and cheeks cramping from the glowing review he’s giving me.

“Okay, all that aside, the way your body responds to
mine, the slightest touch or shift in my position . . . Moans of
pleasure coming from those gorgeous lips . . . Baby, that was the
hottest . . .” His eyes dart to the side as if he’s having a hard
time putting words to his feelings. “What we did tonight was more
beautiful than anything I’ve ever experienced.”

“I feel the same. I’m glad I waited for you, Jonah.
You deserve to be my first—”

“And your last.”

My jaw drops open before I catch it and slam it
shut.

Could he really mean what he just said? I’ve heard
men do that, say things they don’t really mean after sex because
they’re caught up in the moment. He doesn’t look uncertain. He’s
not smiling, his mouth isn’t twitching uncomfortably. His eyes are
fixed on mine and his face is soft. I don’t have much experience in
this area, but if I had to guess, I’d say he looks like a man in
love.

My rational side busts out a checklist. He replaced
my door, risked his safety to talk to Dominick, hunted me down
after I hung up on him, and tonight he loved me, mind, body, and
soul.

How could I take advantage of his love by allowing
him to give up his fight for me? There has to be another way. My
mind is slow with fatigue and sexual satisfaction, but I scroll
through possible alternatives. Beyond ending my life, which isn’t
an option, there’s only one other thing I can do.

“Jonah?”

“Yeah?”

I clear my throat, my mouth suddenly dry. “I could
run.”

Silence.

“I could just take off and drive to New York or
Florida. I’ll change my name and find a job that pays cash. After a
while, you could come visit me. You wouldn’t have to throw your
fight. I could even get—”

“No.” His answer isn’t angry, but absolute. “That’s
no way to live. We’d have to move every few months, constantly
looking over our shoulders.”

“You don’t know that. He might just give up when he
can’t find me locally.”

Hooking his hands under my arms, he pulls me up his
chest and we’re face to face.

“You think Dominick is the kind of man to let go of
something he wants? You know he’d come after you, Raven, for no
other reason than he doesn’t like to lose. I want you free from all
ties, and throwing the fight is the only way. Money is the only
language Dominick understands.”

Hot tears pool in my eyes and cool as they cascade
down my face. “I’ll never be able to re-pay you for all you’re
giving up for me. I’m afraid that, in time, you’ll resent me.”

“Impossible. The title will always be there. The
fight is replaceable. You’re not.”