Fierce: New Adult Sport Romance (The Boys of Winter Book 4) (12 page)

My body starts to heat up. “Okay, I can have a savings account. Is there a dollar amount that you find acceptable? Maybe a year’s worth of expenses?

He nods, and I don’t think he has any idea how condescending he’s being. “Yeah, I have about that.”

“What if I don’t agree with these rules of yours?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know, but I find it hard to respect someone who’s so excessive.”

Anger bubbles on the surface, and my ears burn in shame. “Really? You don’t respect someone who appreciates nice things and spends money?”

He takes another piece of my cake, and I’m tempted to slap his hand. He says, “No.”

Yup, I’m good and pissed now. “Yet you teach snowboarding to people that have excess money. You own more than one snowboard, have a couple of pairs of boots, and I’ll bet you have more than one surfboard, right?”

His face is red as he nods, but I don’t stop to let him respond.

“Even though you don’t have hundreds of thousands of dollars, relatively speaking, you live like I do. If you want something, you buy it. Sure you want for a lot less, but that comes easy for you. How often do you really want something you can’t have?”

His jaw is clenched and I think I hit a nerve. I’m so mad I go for the jugular. “Why do you think I need to suffer when you don’t? Because I didn’t earn it? Because I was born lucky?”

He snaps, “You are lucky. Think of the millions of people that barely feed themselves.”

“Yes, I’m very fortunate. So are you.” I huff. “I just happen to be infinitely luckier because I lost my parents at the age of thirteen and inherited their money.” I shove the rest of my cake toward him, and the fork clatters against his mug.

My voice is loud, and I’m shaking. “I’m so fucking lucky. You’re right. I should suffer for this good fortune of mine.”

I stand up and grab my coffee cup. A little spills over onto my hand. Everyone in the shop is watching us, but I don’t care. “I’m going to start my suffering by giving up you.” I turn and stomp off. When I throw my mug into the bin of dirty dishes, the crash is satisfying.

I wipe the milk from my hand by rubbing it on my jeans as I walk out the door. And that’s when the tears come. Hot moisture rolls down my cheeks, and a wavy version of Christian and Jess come walking toward me. I drop my gaze and don’t respond to their greeting. Instead I jog to my car to escape.

The metal of my car door handle is cold, and the chill bites into my fingers as I open it to get in. When I slide over the slippery leather, I’m too distraught to even put the keys in the ignition and I let them fall to the floor. I sob uncontrollably, and I’m not sure why.

Before I can give it much thought, the passenger door opens and Christian climbs in. He shuts it with a soft click. “Hey. C’mere.”

I let him pull me against his body, and I cry into the softness of his cotton shirt. He rubs my back. “Shhhh, it’s okay.”

When I’m done, I pull away and notice his shirt is wet. “Sorry, I got snot on you.”

He looks down at it. “This old thing? I can just buy another.”

That makes me chuckle before I start to cry again.

When I’m done I search for a napkin, and Christian asks, “Want to tell me what happened?”

“Oh, I just broke up with a guy that thinks I have too many clothes and am excessive.” Rough paper scrapes as I wipe my nose.

“Kelly said that to you?”

I nod. “He thinks I should give all my money away and suffer like normal people do.”

“What a stupid guy. He doesn’t know a good thing when he’s got it. Want me to help you spend some and be excessive?”

I smile and throw the used napkin behind me. “That sounds like fun. Where should we go? Paris? Milan? Venice?” I remember he was walking with Jess. “Wait. Aren’t you on a date with Jess?”

“Oh, yeah. It wasn’t really a date. We just ran into each other.” He combs his fingers through his hair, and I wonder if he’s feeling guilty for leaving her to see me.

“You should probably get back to her.”

Christian touches my arm, and I lean toward him, wanting to feel his arms around me again. But I pull back and wrap my arms around myself when I realize people are probably watching.

He asks, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, but just so you know, I’m going to need a lot of dessert tonight.” It occurs to me I probably have mascara streaked on my face. Not my best look.

“Got it.” He winks and lets himself out of the car. “I’ll be home in about an hour.”

“Christian?”

He leans back in. “Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“Anytime, princess.”

Chapter 19

Wh
en I get home, I call Derrick.

“Hey, can I ask you a question?” Cleo’s head is in my lap, and I’m stroking her soft hair.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“We donate a lot of money, right?” I know the answer, but need the reassurance.

“We do. Every year there are four kids going to Phillips Exeter Academy because of us. We both have a scholarship for someone to get a full ride to our colleges. There’s the foundation Dad put in place. We—”

“You can stop. Thanks. I just needed to know I’m not a total spoiled brat.”

“Nope, only kind of. What’s going on?”

I pour out the whole story to him, and my brother says all the right things with a few typical big brother threats that make me feel loved.

After we hang up I wander to the kitchen and pour myself a glass of red wine. The berry-colored liquid splashes into my oversized goblet, and I walk over to the windows in the breakfast area. I take a sip and let the deep tannin flavor sit on my tongue.

The evergreens are lightly frosted with snow, and dead grass pokes up from the thin white veil on the ground. I know I’m excessive. Swirling the wine in my glass, I watch the edges lighten into a cherry color. I think about how much money I’m holding. Probably five dollars’ worth of liquid, the price of a fancy coffee that Kelly has no trouble buying. But then I look down at my cowboy boots and know I have more shoes and boots than I can count in my head.

The truth is I felt ashamed when Kelly was telling me to give my money away. I don’t live simply and have no desire to do so. I cringe when I think of the mean things I said to him. His lifestyle is admirable, and I respect his choices. It hurts that he doesn’t respect mine.

The scurrying feet of the dogs interrupt my thoughts as they run to the door for the garage. Christian must be home. My glass clinks lightly when I set it on the counter and walk over to help him with grocery bags.

He enters and winds his way through the wiggling. He glances at my wine. “You must have known what I was getting. How does filet mignon sound? With asparagus and the most expensive risotto mix I could find.”

I grin. “Should I go find an overly excessive bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon for us to drink too?”

“Yes. And wait until you see dessert.”

He pulls out a cake box from the bakery and hands it to me. I open it to reveal a lot of pink. The top is heavily decorated with too many white swirls. It has flowers too, and on top a silver plastic tiara.

“Wait.” Christian reaches over and flips a switch making the crown blink with bright lights set amongst the fake jewels. I notice the writing that’s camouflaged by the frosting scrolls, and it says, “For My Favorite Princess.”

“I love it.” Tears spring to my eyes at his kindness. “Thank you, Christian. You seem to know a little something about women.”

“I like to think I do.” He crumples up the plastic bags for recycling. When he sees a tear rolling down my cheek he says, “Hey. You really like this guy, don’t you?”

I shake my head. “No. I’m crying because—” I wave my hand as more tears spill out, and my throat is thick. “You’re so sweet.”

I walk to the bathroom and grab a tissue. When I return he’s rearranging the fridge to fit things in. “I’m sorry. No more crying.”

“No need to apologize. Do you want to talk about it?”

I shake my head. “No. I called Derrick and made him listen to all my insecurities and let him build me back up again.”

“Okay, but I’m a good listener if you need one.” A cabinet door slams as he kicks it lightly while setting a pot down on the stove.

“Thanks.” I take the asparagus from the counter and walk over to the sink to rinse it. “So tell me about your date with Jess.”

“It wasn’t really a date.” Christian tears open the box of risotto. “We had coffee and talked. She’s nice.”

“She’s hot too, isn’t she?”

“I guess.” He purses his lips. “No, she’s cute.”

I huff. “There’s a difference?” Pans rattle as I search for one to steam the asparagus in.

“There is. Hot makes you want to strip her naked. Cute works on you more slowly.”

“Good to know. What about when a guy says a girl’s beautiful?”

“They care.”

When Kelly called me beautiful runs through my mind.
Did he really care?
Shame washes over me as I once again think about my outburst at the Baked Bean. I shake it off and say, “I’m going to go find wine. Any preference?”

“Nope, I trust your judgment.”

The basement is cool, and the wine cellar is even cooler. As I’m searching for a Stags Leap red I recall the way Christian had been so close to me in this room that I was flustered. A shiver runs through me, and I wrap my arms around myself. But warmth is spreading in my belly.

Christian is hot. The idea of stripping him naked has definitely gone through my mind. But he also treats me with respect and genuine kindness. Well, except for when he’s teasing me. I realize I think he’s beautiful too. I hope Jess appreciates him.

I find the bottle I know will go nicely with the buttery-soft texture of filet and flip off the light. Wandering back through my man cave, I gaze at the pool table. We still haven’t gotten a game in, and I think tonight might be the night.

A light garlic odor fills my kitchen as the risotto starts to bubble, and when I don’t see Christian I turn down the heat and cover the pan. Movement outside catches my eye, and I notice him at the grill. He’s got the dogs and is throwing the ball for them. It makes me think of Derrick doing the same thing many times last winter. I like having a guy to grill for me.

The cork on the wine bottle pops when I open it. I sniff the black current odor and decide to let it sit to breathe. I pull down two clean wineglasses from the cabinet and then go to the pantry to get dog food.

When Christian comes back in, he says, “About five more minutes on the steaks. How does the rest look?”

I turn the switch on the stove for the asparagus, and the gas burner ticks a few times before lighting. “It’ll be ready.”

He takes the bowls and sets them on the floor for the dogs. They respond to his commands, and once again I’m reminded of Derrick. It’s easy being with Christian.

When we sit down to dinner, the dogs all lie down under the table. Juice pools under my steak when I cut into it. “Tomorrow is rookie training. Are you ready?”

Christian picks up his wineglass and swirls the contents. “Somehow I think so. I just ski and find out everything I’m doing wrong while learning how to teach it, right?”

“Pretty much. I’ll warn you, though. Be controlled with your turns, and don’t go fast or Heather will scold you.” I grin and bite a piece of steak off my fork with my teeth.

Christian licks his lips and says, “That wine is nice. Good choice, princess.”

I sigh. “I am a princess, aren’t I?”

“Yes and no. Sure, you like to be taken care of, but you aren’t helpless. I watched you in action at my house this morning. You know your way around decorating, and I’m not sure the contractor knew what hit him.” His eyes twinkle in the candlelight, and the word hot comes to mind.

“Thanks. It’s something I love to do. Right along with shopping.”

“Have you ever thought of opening a retail shop of some kind? You have a great eye for design and love fashion. You could have a clothing store or a home accessories shop.” He stabs a piece of asparagus, and I can’t help but watch his lips wrap around his fork. My core twinges imaging his mouth on me.

“That would be a big project, though.”

Christian chews and nods. After he swallows, he says, “Yes, but think how exciting it would be.”

I take a moment to mull it over. The idea is appealing, and starting a business would be an exciting challenge for me. “I like it. Maybe I will.”

By the time we finish dinner, my head is racing with ideas and planning the best way to form my business plan. I forget all about playing pool and begin researching on my laptop after dinner instead.

When Christian announces he’s going to bed, I realize I have immersed myself in the retail shop idea. “I’m sorry I was lousy company tonight. But you gave me a great idea.”

He’s behind me, and his hands grip my shoulders with a little squeeze. “No worries. I like seeing you so excited. If you need help with the financial piece, I’m all yours.”

I tilt my head back and grin up at his offer. “I’ll take you up on that. But.” I pause for the effect. “What do you suppose Jess will think when she finds out you’re all mine?”

He chuckles at me as he walks up the stairs.

Chapter 20