Feted to Die: An Inspector Constable Murder Mystery (16 page)

Dave Copper grimaced. “He really was quite a nasty piece of work, Mr. Cope, wasn’t he, sir?”

Andy Constable nodded. “I rather think you’re right, sergeant. But now he’s a murdered nasty piece of work, which means we have our job to do. And I don’t know about you, but I’m getting cold and wet. Come on.”

Chapter 10

At the front door of Dammett Hall, the village policeman was maintaining his vigil, although by now he was starting to droop a little. Andy Constable felt sorry for him.

“How are we, Collins? Anything to report?”

“Not really, sir. Gideon Porter’s gone back down to the pub, but he said he had your okay for that. And I think most of the other stall-holders have gone off as well, so there’s hardly anybody around now. Except for in the house, that is.”

“And are all our suspects still safely tucked up where we left them?”

Collins grinned. “Far as I know, sir. I haven’t heard a peep out of them. Oh, except for that Miss Cook, sir. She wanted to know how long you wanted her to stay here – something about getting the scones done for this afternoon’s cream teas, and whether she ought to do them up here or down at her tearooms. She was all in a bit of a flap, sir, but then she usually is, to be honest, but I calmed her down.”

“Well done, Collins.” Andy Constable looked at the steadily increasing rain advancing towards the house. “Look, there’s no point in you standing here freezing to death and getting wet. Go and see Miss Cook and tell her we’ll have a chat with her later. We can go down to the village if need be. And with a bit of luck, she might let you have a cup of tea.”

“And tell her you can have that bit of cake she promised me,” put in Dave Copper with a smile.

“Right you are, sir. Thank you.” And a relieved-looking Collins headed in the direction of the kitchen.

Seven weary faces turned to see the two detectives as they entered the library, where an awkward silence seemed to be reigning. The Reverend Pugh, who had regained a considerably more normal colour than had been the case during his conversation with the officers, rose at once and came towards Inspector Constable.

“Inspector, might I have a word?”

“By all means, Mr. Pugh. What can I do for you?”

“I was wondering how much longer you wanted me to stay,” explained the vicar anxiously. “Of course, I’m only too happy to do my duty, and if you need me here any longer I’m quite prepared to remain as long as I can be useful, but I honestly don’t know that I can tell you any more than I’ve already said, and what is beginning to trouble me is that I may not be back to St. Salyve’s in time to prepare properly for this evening’s service, and I really do think that there is likely to be a number of my flock who are going to be disturbed by today’s events, so of course they will be looking to the church for guidance and comfort, and I feel that I need a time of quiet and calm to prepare some remarks for them in my sermon, which of course under the present circumstances I might find … er … somewhat difficult …” He glanced meaningfully at the others in the room. “So if it’s no trouble, and you really think you can spare me, I would be so terribly grateful …”

“Please, Mr. Pugh, don’t give it another thought,” said the inspector, stopping the vicar’s flow with some difficulty. “I’m sure if there’s anything else we need to speak to you about, we shall be able to find you quite easily.”

At that moment, there came a tap at the library door, and P.C. Collins put his head into the room.

“Sorry to interrupt you, sir, but it’s Miss Cook. She says can you pop in and see her, because she’s remembered what it is she forgot, and it was the batch of scones that did it, and it wasn’t mother at all. I have no idea what she’s on about, but she seemed quite excited. And she’d like to get on, if you don’t mind, sir.”

“Thank you, Collins. Tell her we’ll be with her as soon as we can. And then can you run Mr. Pugh back down to the village, please. Can’t have him getting wet in this rain.”

“Will do, sir.” Collins disappeared back into the hall.

“That’s really extremely good of you, inspector,” said the vicar. “But I wouldn’t want to put that young man to any trouble, and I’m perfectly happy to walk, even though it does look rather damp out there …”

“Not at all, Mr. Pugh.” said Constable, briskly. “Copper …?” And at a nod from the inspector, the sergeant ushered the still-expostulating clergyman out into the hall. Constable turned back to the remaining six people in the room, who regarded him with a mixture of expectation and apprehension.

“I am very sorry to have kept you all for what must seem like a very long time, ladies and gentlemen.” Andy Constable was at his most emollient. “I’m afraid these matters are not always quick and easy to resolve. But I have hopes that we may not need to detain you for very much longer.”

“I sincerely hope not, inspector,” said Lady Lawdown sharply, rising to her feet. “It is not at all pleasant to be cooped up almost like a prisoner in one’s own house, and I’m not at all sure that such a thing is entirely within your rules of conduct. Indeed, I shall definitely consider having a serious word with the Chief Constable next time we meet, which I’m sure will be very soon.” She glared at the detective.

Andy Constable smiled calmly. “I assure you, my lady, that we are doing everything we possibly can as quickly as we can. And of course, nobody could be happier than me if you wish to discuss the matter with the Chief, because I’m sure he would be delighted to explain the exact procedures we follow so that there will be no doubt in your mind for future reference.” He looked levelly at Lady Lawdown, whose eyes wavered and then fell.

“But as it happens,” he continued, “we wanted to have a further word with everyone here, and perhaps it would be a good idea to start with your ladyship. After all, the sooner we begin … Perhaps we might use the library again, if that would be convenient.”

“Oh. Very well, inspector. If that is what you wish.”

“After you, my lady.” He turned to the others. “If you wouldn’t mind waiting here for a little longer …” Murmurs of weary agreement followed him out of the room.

“On my way, sir.” A breathless Collins emerged through the green baize door to the kitchen corridor. He almost scampered in the direction of the front door where Sergeant Copper stood patiently listening to a still-gesticulating vicar, then turned back. “Oh, by the way, sir. Miss Cook. She says she’s a bit pushed, so she’s made a note …”

“Yes, yes, thank you, Collins,” interrupted the inspector. “We’ll get to her as soon as we can. You just carry on.” He held the library door open for Lady Lawdown, and the two detectives followed her into the room as Collins led the vicar out through the front door.

Constable took his place behind the desk again as Copper seated himself discreetly to one side. Lady Lawdown poised herself elegantly on the edge of a leather tub chair and looked at the inspector with eyebrows raised.

“Well?”

Constable declined to be intimidated. “Well, my lady, there are a few things we’d like to verify about the sequence of events this afternoon, so I’m sure you’ll be able to assist us with that.”

“Very well, inspector, although I really don’t see how any of us could possibly have had the chance to murder Horace.”

“And yet,” remarked Constable drily, “somebody did. And what I need to know is who was where and when, so that I can decide who did have that chance.”

Lady Lawdown sighed. “As I’m sure you already know, inspector, we were all together in the drawing room having drinks from twelve o’clock.”

“We? And that would be exactly …?”

“Well, everybody … Laura and myself, Helen, Seymour, the vicar of course, Horace and Albert, and Robin. Oh no, just a minute … Robin and Seymour weren’t there at twelve, because they didn’t come in until later. I’d forgotten that.”

“So what about Mr. Cope’s exact movements?” asked Constable. “Can you remember those?”

“Oh, that’s perfectly simple, inspector. Sorry, I thought you already knew. Horace and Albert arrived at twelve o’clock – no, in fact it was more like five past, because the vicar had got here at twelve exactly. I know that, because I remember the hall clock was striking as Helen went out to fetch him in. So Horace was actually a few minutes late, but I don’t suppose that really matters, does it, because after all he was still alive then. Oh, and he brought me some beautiful flowers …” She broke off. “That reminds me, I must put them in water. I’m sure they’re still sitting on the piano, so if I don’t do something about them they’ll be as dead as … well, as dead as Horace!” She gave a slightly hysterical laugh. “I do apologise, inspector. That was in extremely poor taste, but this is all becoming a little too much for me.”

“Quite so, your ladyship. But if we can stick to what actually happened …”

“Ah. Yes. Well, Horace had a quick drink, which I poured for him – oh dear, inspector, I hope you don’t think that I – oh no, of course, silly of me, he wasn’t poisoned, was he?”

“No, my lady,” replied Constable, bluntly. “It was a great deal bloodier than that.”

“Please, inspector. I can hardly bear to think of it.” Lady Lawdown shuddered, took a deep breath and seemed to pull herself together. “So, Horace finished his drink quite quickly, because he said he had better go off and get things ready, and he wanted Albert to go with him at that point, but it was Laura I think who stopped Albert, so Horace stumped off rather grumpily on his own. So that would have been – oh, it must have been somewhere between five and ten past twelve. It was all very quick.”

“Was there some reason for not wanting Albert to go with Mr. Cope?” enquired the inspector.

“Not at all, not really,” replied Lady Lawdown. “It’s just that – poor Albert, he’s always at Horace’s beck and call, and Horace always seems to be barking orders at him, so I think we all feel a little sorry for him. Albert, that is. It was just to give the poor little man a few moments respite. But to be honest, it didn’t really do much good – Albert seemed most ill-at-ease, and looked as if he really didn’t want to be there at all, so he almost gulped down his drink and said he ought to go and help Horace, so off he went. And I suppose that must have been ten past or so.”

“And was he gone long?”

“Oh, hardly any time at all. Minutes.” She wrinkled her brow in thought. “Actually, he was gone until Laura came back, so that must have been about twenty minutes altogether. Isn’t it funny how you don’t notice the time slip past?”

Dave Copper looked up. “Sorry to interrupt, sir, but did her ladyship say that Miss Biding also left the drawing room?”

Lady Lawdown turned to the sergeant. “Oh yes, but only for a moment to fetch some drinks.” She smiled. “I expect I shouldn’t tell you this, but the vicar had seen off more than his fair share of the whisky. I dare say it was to steady his nerves, but I think it may have been that as much as the shock of finding Horace which made him keel over.”

“And did Miss Biding leave the drawing room again after she returned?” asked Copper.

“Not for a moment,” stated Lady Lawdown firmly. “She was going to, because she had forgotten to unlock the gate to the Secret Garden, but I asked Mr. Pugh to do it … Oh dear!”

“Yes, my lady? What is it?”

“I’ve just thought. Really, it’s my fault that Mr. Pugh had that terrible shock. Poor man. But if he hadn’t gone, then it would have been Laura who discovered Horace’s body. Oh, how awful.”

“Indeed,” said Constable. “Well, I think that’s all we need from your ladyship for the moment.” Lady Lawdown rose to leave. “Oh, just one thing before you go, my lady. Would you have any knowledge of a small ad placed in the name of ‘L’?”

Lady Lawdown gazed at the inspector. “A small ad, inspector? What on earth do you mean?”

“Just a small advertisement in the classified columns of a newspaper, my lady. I’m afraid we don’t know which paper.”

“But what sort of advertisement? Was it Births, Marriages and Deaths, or what?”

Constable smiled slightly. “Oh no, my lady, nothing like that. It was just something in the Personal Services column.”

“Personal Services? I’m sorry, inspector, but I really can’t help you,” replied Lady Lawdown frostily. “I don’t believe I’ve ever read the Personal Services column. From what little I’ve heard, I can’t think that there would be anything in it to interest me. So if you have quite finished with me …?”

“Only one more question if I may, my lady. You mention the Births, Marriages and Deaths. Do you have a special fascination for these things?”

Lady Lawdown seemed taken aback by the enquiry. “What an odd question, inspector. Why should I?”

“So the local church records and documents would not be of specific interest to you?”

“No, not especially. Why do you ask?”

“So if somebody said they had seen you with some papers in the church …?” Constable raised his eyebrows and waited.

“Then they would be mistaken, inspector,” said Lady Lawdown, firmly. “So, if you have no other questions, I’m sure you will be wanting to speak to the others. Is there anyone in particular that you would like to see first?”

Constable thought for a moment. “Perhaps if you would ask Mr. Ross if he would be good enough to join us. And may I just thank your ladyship for your help. It’s been most useful.”

Lady Lawdown appeared to be about to reply, but then simply inclined her head graciously, poise seemingly restored, and left the room.