Feels Like Family (19 page)

“Never?”

She shook her head. “I’m too nosy. I always found out.”

“I was sure you were going to find out about this one, but I’d have blamed Dana Sue and Maddie for not being able to keep a secret,” he said.

“They really are lousy at that,” she agreed. “But I haven’t seen too much of them for the past couple of weeks. I’ve been otherwise occupied.”

“Really?” he said, drawing her into his arms. “Pleasantly occupied?”

“Amazingly occupied,” she said, lifting her mouth to his.

When he finally released her, he regarded her with an odd expression. “That’s the first time you’ve kissed me—I mean really kissed me—in public.”

“It’s my birthday. I’m allowed to be impulsive and throw caution to the wind. Besides, most of the people here have figured out that something’s going on between us, anyway. We may as well acknowledge it, at least among friends. Keeping it to ourselves isn’t working all that well, anyway.”

“And Brad?”

“He won’t find out from any of these people,” she said.

Erik glanced across the room to where Maddie and Dana Sue were watching them with interest. “I just hope
you’re prepared for the consequences of all this new openness,” he warned. “In fact, the primary consequence appears to be heading this way. I think I’ll retreat to the kitchen to put the finishing touches on your cake.”

“Chicken,” she called after him.

“Cluck, cluck,” he responded, laughing as he disappeared from view.

“Why don’t you two just admit what’s going on?” Maddie demanded.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Helen said.

“That act’s not working anymore,” Dana Sue countered. “You’re having an affair. That much is plain. What I want to know is when you’re going to take it to the next level.”

“Which would be…?” Helen asked.

“Marriage,” Dana Sue responded.

Helen shook her head. “Not in the cards,” she said flatly.

“That’s ridiculous,” Maddie declared.

“Why on earth wouldn’t you want to get married to a man like Erik?” Dana Sue asked. “He’s perfect for you.”

“This is a party,” Helen retorted. “And I am not discussing my love life with you now.”

“Tomorrow, then,” Dana Sue said. “Be at the spa at eight or we’ll come looking for you. Won’t it be interesting if we find you in Erik’s bed?”

Helen sighed as the two of them walked away. This whole scheme of hers was suddenly spinning out of control. She didn’t have a doubt in her mind that Maddie and Dana Sue’s questions were going to be tough to handle. And she couldn’t think of a single way to avoid them.

Karen saw that Elliott fit right in at the party. Of course, it made sense since he worked with Helen, Maddie and
Dana Sue at the spa, but he’d also gotten along with Maddie’s husband Cal, Dana Sue’s husband Ronnie and even Tess’s Diego. Apparently he’d had quite a chat with Erik in the kitchen, too.

That should have pleased her. Though she worked for Dana Sue, she’d come to think of all of these people as friends. For the first time in her life she had a real support system and knew she could make it on her own. She didn’t want to risk that for a relationship with a man who might shatter her hard-won independence and wind up leaving the way her ex-husband had.

“You’ve been awfully quiet,” Elliott said as he drove her home. “Didn’t you have a good time at the party?”

“I had a wonderful time,” she said. “It was so much fun seeing Helen’s face when she walked in. I think she was genuinely surprised.”

“She obviously loved the picture you gave her of Daisy and Mack,” Elliott said. “It made her cry.”

Karen frowned at the reminder. “Happy tears, I hope, but I’m not so sure.”

“Why would it have been anything else?”

“Just a feeling I have,” she admitted. “I think she wants her own family.”

“Then perhaps she and Erik will get together. There’s definitely something going on between those two.”

“There’s a lot of chemistry, that’s for sure,” she conceded.

He glanced over at her. “Like there is with us.”

Once again, she frowned. “Elliott, please. I don’t want to talk about us.”

For once he didn’t let the subject drop. “Why not, Karen?” he asked. “We’re good together. More than good.”

It was true. He was amazing with her kids and kind and
loving toward her. But the idea of allowing herself to give in to the feelings he stirred in her scared her.

She reached for his hand. “I know you can’t possibly understand where I’m coming from, and I’m sorry. I like you, Elliott. I love spending time with you.”

“But what? You’re not in love with me?”

“I didn’t say that. I don’t know what I feel.”

He pulled to a stop in front of her apartment building and cut the engine. Staring straight ahead, he asked, “Do you want to end this?”

“No,” she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. “But I can’t promise you anything. It’s not fair to keep you waiting around, either.”

“You’re not making any sense,” he accused. “Are you confused? Scared? What?”

She took a deep breath, then blurted, “All of that. I just started getting my life back on track. I finally feel as if I have some control over it. Falling in love, well, it means giving up some of that control. I don’t know if I can do it again.”

He tucked a finger under her chin and forced her to face him. “I do get that, Karen. I really do. I know what you’ve been through. It’s probably too soon for me to be pushing you like this. I just need you to know where I’m coming from. I can wait, if you’ll just tell me that there’s a chance for us. If there’s not, if you can’t see yourself ever trusting another man not to hurt you, then tell me and I’ll leave you alone. I won’t spend years trying to prove I’m not like your ex-husband.”

“I want to trust you,” she said softly, her cheeks damp with tears. “I’ve seen the gentleness and kindness in you.”

“Then give us a chance,” he said quietly. “That’s all, just a chance. But if you know you’ll never be able to open up your heart, please don’t just go through the motions.”

It would be so easy to say yes, she thought. It would be so easy to start a relationship and see where it led. But the panic that rushed through her just thinking about it proved it was too soon.

Slowly, she shook her head. Touching a hand to his cheek, she said, “I can’t, Elliott. I’m not ready to take that kind of risk. If I were, you’d be the man I’d choose, but I can’t.”

He sat back with a heavy sigh. “Okay, then. If that’s really the way you want it, I’ll back off.”

Holding back tears, she nodded. “I think that’s best.”

“I’ll walk you in.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Yes, I do,” he said, getting out of the car and coming around to open her door.

He said absolutely nothing as they walked to her apartment. At the door, she lifted her gaze to his. “I’m sorry.”

“So am I.”

She unlocked the door, but when she would have walked inside, he stopped her. “You’re a terrific woman, Karen. I know you’re just discovering that about yourself, but it’s been obvious to me since the day we met. I hope someday you’ll believe in yourself enough to let a man into your life.”

Then he turned and walked away, leaving her alone on her doorstep…and feeling lonelier than she had in years.

K
aren tiptoed into her apartment, trying not to wake Frances, who’d fallen asleep on the sofa with the television tuned to a late-night talk show. Unfortunately, by the time she’d peeked in to check on the kids, Frances was wide-awake and filled with questions.

“How was your evening?” she asked, fully alert and eager for answers.

“Fine,” Karen murmured, not anxious to talk to a woman who could read her like a book. She knew Frances would be distraught over her breakup with Elliott. She’d said at least a hundred times how lucky she thought Karen was to have found him.

“I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow,” Karen promised. “Since you’re awake, why don’t you get home so you can sleep in your own bed, instead of being all cramped up on my sofa?”

Frances ignored the suggestion and regarded her suspiciously. “Come here where I can get a better look at you,” she commanded. “Have you been crying?”

Since her cheeks were still damp, Karen could hardly deny it. “It’s no big deal.”

“Tell me,” Frances demanded. “What did Elliott do?”

Her immediate indignation on Karen’s behalf made Karen smile. “He didn’t do anything,” she said. “It was me. I broke things off with him.”

Frances looked stunned. “Why on earth would you do a crazy thing like that?” Even before Karen could reply, she said, “It’s because you’re scared, isn’t it? I should have seen this coming. The more time Elliott spends around here, the more distant you’ve become.”

Karen acknowledged the truth with a nod. “He’s ready for more, Frances. He wants a real relationship with a future and I can’t promise him any of that. I can barely think ahead to tomorrow.”

“Is this about sex?” Frances asked, her indignation returning. “Was he pressuring you to sleep with him?”

Karen felt weird having this conversation with Frances. She’d never talked about intimate topics like this with any of the women who’d been her foster mothers. She’d learned everything she knew about sex from kids in school and even at that, she’d hardly been prepared for marriage. Still, this was Frances, who listened and didn’t make judgments.

“No,” she admitted. “It wasn’t like that at all. Believe me, there’s a lot of chemistry there, but this was all about an emotional commitment. Elliott is ready to make that. I’m not.”

“I see. It would have been easier for you if it had just been about sex, wouldn’t it?”

Karen nodded. “Sleeping with him would be amazing, I’m sure of it. But any more? I just don’t see it happening. I’m barely standing on my own two feet,” she told Frances. “You’ve been here. You know how it was just a few months ago. I can’t risk all the progress I’ve made. I’m stronger
now, but I don’t want to backslide and wind up being dependent on another man.”

“But wouldn’t it be nice to have someone to lean on, someone you could count on?”

“Of course,” Karen conceded. “But it could just as easily turn out differently. Once upon a time, I thought I could lean on my husband. Look how that turned out.”

“Elliott is nothing like your ex-husband,” Frances said with fierce certainty. “He would never walk out on the mother of his children. Just look at how patiently he’s put up with all your attempts to make him go. He’s solid and dependable. He’s a family man. You can tell that by how close he is to all his sisters and their kids. Not every man his age would be so eager to take on a woman with two young children, especially a man who can have his pick of women. I imagine a lot of the women at the spa have set their sights on him, probably with no strings attached, but Elliott chose you, Karen. That speaks volumes to me. It tells me he values you and respects you.”

“I know,” Karen said wearily. “Like I said, this is about me. I don’t trust my own judgment anymore.”

“Then give it time,” Frances said. “You don’t have to make a decision about your future tonight.”

“It’s too late,” Karen told her, a catch in her voice. “I just didn’t think it was fair to lead him on when I might never be ready for more. It’s over, Frances. I made sure of that.”

Frances gave her a sympathetic look. “Oh, honey, nothing’s over until that man goes off and marries some other woman. If you’re right for each other, you’ll work it out. If he lets you go without a fight, then he’s not the man I think he is.”

Karen gulped back a sob as she thought about never
spending time with Elliott again. Daisy and Mack were going to be devastated, too. They adored Elliott. “I hope you’re right. I hope I didn’t make the biggest mistake of my life.”

“Not a chance,” Frances said. “When I look at Elliott, I see a man who’s deeply in love and knows you’re worth waiting for.”

Karen thought of the bleak expression of finality she’d seen on Elliott’s face tonight and prayed she’d misread it. Hopefully Frances, with her years of experience with human nature, was the one who’d read the situation correctly.

Erik went into Sullivan’s early, hoping to get a head start on his dessert preparations for the day. He was trying a new recipe and it required the kind of concentration he could seldom manage once the kitchen started to bustle with all the food prep for lunch.

Unfortunately, he’d barely begun to assemble his ingredients—flour, sugar, cream and a dark, rich chocolate—when someone pounded on the back door. Muttering a curse, he went to open it and found Cal Maddox and Ronnie Sullivan out there.

“I would have used my key,” Ronnie said as he walked inside, “but I don’t like to do that when someone’s here. I scared ten years off Dana Sue’s life one night when I showed up and she wasn’t expecting me. Came close to getting whacked on the head with a cast-iron skillet, too. That woman’s self-defense skills are scary.”

Erik grinned, despite the untimely interruption. “She does have her moments, doesn’t she?”

“Enough chitchat,” Cal grumbled. “Where’s the coffee? Ronnie promised there’d be coffee.”

“Over there,” Erik said, gesturing toward the full pot he’d brewed when he arrived. “So what are you two doing here?”

“Blame our wives,” Ronnie said. “They’re worried about Helen. They think you might need backup in protecting her.”

“And Maddie wants to know what your intentions are,” Cal added, giving Erik a commiserating grin. “I suggest you form your answer carefully or run like hell.”

Erik ignored Cal’s question since it seemed to be a lot trickier than the implication that he couldn’t keep Helen safe on his own. “As long as Helen behaves sensibly and listens to reason, I think we have the whole protection thing under control.”

The two men exchanged a look of skepticism.

“We’re talking about
Helen,
” Ronnie said at last. “I’ve known that woman most of my life. She’s smart, but she’s also stubborn. She thinks she can control the universe. She probably figures she can hogtie Brad Holliday and deliver him to the sheriff with one hand tied behind her back.”

Erik grinned. “I’m sure she does.”

“And that doesn’t worry you?” Cal asked. “Seems to me that suggests she’ll take chances.”

Erik was forced to admit that since that first night when she’d come to him and asked to stay at his place, she’d been getting increasingly reckless about where she went and when. He had a hunch she’d stopped looking over her shoulder, despite the warnings Jimmy Bob West and Judge Rockingham had repeated just last night.

“You could have a point,” he said at last. “But she’s independent. What am I supposed to do?”

“I have one idea,” Cal volunteered. “I know Brad. His youngest son played ball for me the first year I was here. Brad was one of those dads from hell who thought every
call from the umpire that went against his boy was wrong. Figured he was a better coach than me, too. He made that kid’s life miserable ’til we had a little chat one night and I threatened to ban him from the games if he didn’t keep his mouth shut.”

“What’s your point?” Ronnie asked. “That he’s a bully? That’s not comforting.”

“No, my point is that bullies often back down when somebody bigger and tougher gets directly in their face,” Cal explained patiently. “I suggest the three of us have a little come-to-Jesus conversation with Mr. Holliday.”

Ronnie grinned, looking a bit too eager for Erik’s peace of mind.

“I’m in,” Ronnie said. “How about you, Erik?”

“Much as I would like to pummel some sense into this guy, I see a downside,” Erik replied. “Helen is going to be furious if we take on her battles for her.”

“Better a furious Helen than one who’s in the emergency room,” Ronnie said. “Jimmy Bob pulled me aside last night. There’s not a lot about Jimmy Bob I trust, but his concern for Helen was genuine. He convinced me it could come to that.”

Erik flinched at that. “Then we need to get a protective order right now,” he said. “Rockingham will issue it.”

Just as he uttered the words, Helen walked into the kitchen. Apparently she’d been less hesitant than Ronnie about using her key and had come in through the front door.

“Judge Rockingham will issue what?” she said, frowning at the three of them. Even if she hadn’t heard a snippet of their conversation, finding them assembled at Sullivan’s this early in the morning on a weekday would no doubt have made her wary.

“A restraining order to keep Brad Holliday away from you,” Erik told her, convinced it was smarter just to be straight with her. “I want it done before the end of the day.”

Helen immediately shook her head. “No way. All that will do is get Brad even more worked up. He’s already convinced that the justice system is against him.”

“Well, we have to do something,” Erik said.

“Plan A,” Cal muttered.

“Plan A, it is,” Ronnie agreed.

Helen locked gazes with Erik. “What is Plan A?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, holding her gaze unflinchingly. “We have it under control.”

“Now why doesn’t that set my mind at ease?” she asked.

“I can’t imagine,” Erik said with a shrug and turned his attention to the two men.

“I’ll call you later with details,” Cal said, swallowing the last of his coffee and heading for the door.

Ronnie was right on his heels. “Good luck, pal. See you soon.”

After they’d gone, Erik faced Helen, whose expression had darkened.

“Start talking,” she commanded.

“What about?”

“Don’t pull that nonsense with me,” she said. “What are the three of you up to? It better not have anything to do with me or Brad Holliday.”

“We’re just taking some precautionary measures,” he said blithely, stepping closer and giving her a kiss he hoped would prove distracting.

“Good morning,” he murmured when he released her. “How’d you sleep last night?”

She punched him in the arm. “Don’t think for one sec
ond that kissing me is going to make me forget about whatever it is you all are planning.”

“You’re not even a little distracted?” he asked. “I must be losing my touch.”

“Your touch is just fine, thank you, but so is my memory. Talk, pal. Now. And if I don’t like what I hear, you’d better put a stop to Plan A.”

“It’s not a big deal,” he assured her. “We’re not going to haul Holliday into a back alley and beat him to a pulp.”

“Well, that’s reassuring,” she said dryly. “Because if that was the plan, then you shouldn’t count on me to bail you out of jail. I’m not big on vigilante justice. In addition, I think you’re all overreacting. Brad may be mouthing off, but he hasn’t done anything. He hasn’t even set foot near me.”

“You sure about that?” Erik asked. “Have you been watching who’s around when you’re on the streets? Have you looked to see if anyone’s tailing your car?”

“Now you’re being melodramatic,” she said.

He heard the slightest tremble in her voice, which was enough to convince him that she hadn’t been that observant.

“Am I being melodramatic?” he asked. “I’m not the only one who thinks the man’s a danger to you. So do people who know him a whole lot better than you or I do.”

“They
think
he could be dangerous,” she corrected. “There’s a difference. The more time that passes, the less worried I am.”

“And
that
worries me,” Erik told her. “You need to be on guard all the time.”

“I don’t want to live like that,” she said.

“Then let us follow through with Plan A. I promise none of us is going to get hurt, Holliday included, and maybe it will keep you from being hurt, as well.”

“Or it’ll make Brad even more furious with me,” she suggested. “Can’t you all just leave this alone?”

He shook his head. “I don’t think so. Sorry.”

“But I’m not asking for your help,” she said with obvious frustration. “I don’t
want
your help.”

Erik shrugged. “Too bad. You have it anyway.”

“Men!” she muttered in exasperation. “Do what you have to do, but don’t blame me if it backfires. Just keep in mind that I’m the one who’s likely to pay the price if it does.”

She headed toward the door, her spine rigid. Erik wanted to say something to reassure her, but nothing came to mind. Once they’d confronted Brad Holliday, he’d have a much better idea if they’d warned him off or made matters worse. Until then, he and Helen would simply have to agree to disagree.

Helen marched into The Corner Spa and headed straight for the back patio, where she knew Dana Sue and Maddie would be waiting. Obviously they’d put their husbands up to that little gabfest she’d walked in on at Sullivan’s. Maybe they knew what Plan A was and whether it really involved a back-alley brawl.

“There she is,” Maddie said cheerfully as Helen approached. “And she’s not looking one day older than she did before her birthday.”

Helen scowled at her. “I appreciated the party, but I don’t want to talk about being older. Besides, we need to discuss what your husbands are up to. I found them at Sullivan’s conspiring with Erik.”

Maddie and Dana Sue exchanged a look.

“Interesting,” Dana Sue said. “She stopped by to see Erik before coming here. Why do you suppose that was?”

“Because he’s sexier!” Helen snapped. “Now stop evad
ing and answer me. I know they were over there working up some scheme to deal with Brad Holliday. What did you say to your husbands to get them all worked up? Did you exaggerate the threat?”