Feathers (10 page)

             
Raziel shrugged, flexing his wings again.  “I guess that should work then.” he said.

             
I reached over and touched one of his wings.  “Do they feel any different?” I asked.

             
“A little.  I can feel them on my back, but they’re really not heavy.  I’ve learned to fly a little too.  That’s kinda fun.” Raziel admitted.

             
“I bet.” I laughed.

             
“Any sign of yours yet?” Raziel asked.

             
I sighed, shrugging slightly.  “No.  I haven’t felt any different.  It’s kind of weird.  I always thought we were so much like twins with things.” I admitted.

             
“We are.” Raziel replied.  “I guess we’ll just get these at different times.  Besides, at least you get to be normal for a little longer.  I can see myself trying to explain these scars that are coming to Anna in the future.”

             
“You’re really going to stay with her, aren’t you?” I guessed.

             
“I plan to, unless she dumps me.  Damn, I hope not.  That would be really bad.” Raziel said.

             
I couldn’t help but laugh.  “I don’t think she’ll do that Raziel.  She really likes you.  And she’s worrying a lot about you now.” I said.

             
“Seriously Mia, are you gonna get boyfriend soon or what?” Raziel suddenly asked.

             
“What?” I said in surprise.

             
“You heard me.  I think you should find yourself a boyfriend.” Raziel said.

             
“Why do I need a boyfriend?  I‘m perfectly happy on my own.” I retorted.  Really, this was getting old now.  Anna tended to do the same thing to me here and there.  Why was having a guy such a big deal?

             
Raziel just laughed at me.  “Calm down.  You know I’m just teasing.  But you should at least try. You are sixteen now.” He said.

             
I looked down, blushing a little.  The truth was, I’d never had a boyfriend before.  I supposed it was because I‘d never really tried.  As funny as it seemed, I’d never had a real interest in guys before.  At least, not until I met Sean…

             
“Hey Raziel, do you really think all the ones like Sean are dangerous?” I asked softly.

             
“Huh?  What do you mean?” Raziel asked, looking over at me.  He was clearly surprised now.

             
I shifted a little uncomfortably.  “I know everyone is saying that now, and I know what almost happened to me.  But I don’t know anything about foxes myself, or the things like them.  I actually feel a little lost on all of this.  I didn’t even know what we were until last week.” I admitted.

             
Raziel sighed, rubbing the back of his head.  “I don’t know if I could answer that for you.  My dad knows more about it all then I do.  I think he’s been studying those things for a long time now.  Even when I was a little kid, this was a common thing to me, even though I could never talk about it to anyone else.  And they asked me a long time ago not to mention it to you right away.  I don’t know why.  Maybe Michael was worried about something with it.” He said.

             
“Maybe.” I said softly.

             
At that, Raziel wrapped an arm around my shoulders.  “Hey, don’t worry so much about it.  Nothing’s going to happen to you now.  We’ll make sure of it.” He promised.

             
At that time, I really wanted to believe his words.  I think I knew that they would all protect me no matter what.  Yet, I was finding that my mind was in a catch 22 as well over Sean Morrison.  If I was to become an angel, so to speak, where would that leave him if I really did like him?  It would be a question I would find myself thinking about for a long time to come.

Eight

             
Raziel ended up coming back to school about two weeks later.  But it was right after he did that I noticed that Sean was nowhere around once again.  At first, Raziel had thought that perhaps he was trying to avoid him because of his new wings.  As for myself, I wasn’t too sure about that.  Truthfully, I was kind of worried.  Even with what Sean was, it seemed a bit odd that he’d suddenly disappear.  Raziel and I eventually went to Jameson to check as well, but Sara had said that he wasn’t there.  She claimed he’d be coming back eventually, but wouldn’t say where he’d went.  This was a bit frustrating to Raziel and I both, but there wasn’t much we could say to it either.  So we let it go with her for the time being.

             
I eventually did ask Michael about it though.  But he said that he really wasn’t too surprised.  Sean had disappeared from time to time, according to Sara.  He’d probably just crossed himself over into the Spirit Realms to get away for a while.  For something like him, that was normal behavior.  Still, it bothered me on some deeper level.  I wanted to see him again.  Even if no one liked it.

             
I couldn’t say for sure when I first began realizing how much I was coming to think about Sean Morrison.  Maybe this had been brewing from the moment we met.  Maybe that was why it hurt to think that we really hadn’t spoken since the day he’d made his first apology in person to me.  A part of me had thought that maybe he’d attempt to speak to me more, even if he had to get past Raziel a bit.  What a disappointment it was.

             
Eventually, Spring Break would come and go.  But on that Tuesday back, I found that it was just me returning.  Raziel himself had warned me the night before that he was skipping that day.  Being off from Spring Break, he decided he wasn’t quite ready to be back yet.  Yes, it was the lamest excuse I’d ever heard.  But it seemed like Raphael was going to let him get away with it anyways.  As for Anna, she was out sick.  She had a bad sinus infection.  To be completely honest, I almost was feeling lost that morning without them.  But also, pulling into the parking lot, I saw opportunity now.  Sean’s Jeep was there.  He’d come back.  And with neither Raziel nor Anna there, I knew what that meant.  I could talk to him without worrying about interference.  Of course, that was if I could find him.  I knew that Michael probably wouldn’t say anything to it.  He’d told me before that it was my choice if I wanted to acknowledge Sean Morrison at school.  So I decided to take my chances.

             
I sat through my first two classes feeling a bit nervous, but determined.  Once the lunch bell rang, I quickly gathered my books and hurried out.  In all honesty, I had no idea if I’d really find him.  But I was pretty determined to at least try at that point. He had to still be there.  He just had to.

             
As it turned out, I got lucky.  Going by the library, I stopped to see him sitting in there.  He was working on something in a notebook.  Judging by the open book beside him, I was guessing it was some kind of homework.  Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and walked in.  The quiet of the place greeted me as compared to the bustle of the hallways as kids rushed to the open cafeteria.  It was actually a welcome release for me.  I’d never been one for crowds anyways.

             
I steeled myself, then quietly walked over to the far table where Sean was sitting.  He didn’t even seem to notice me at first.  Finally, I made myself clear my throat.  “Mind if I sit down?” I asked hopefully.

             
Sean slowly looked up, his eyes widening a little as he took me in.  No doubt this was the last thing he was expecting for this lunch period.  “No.  Please do.” He finally said, sitting himself up straight once again.

             
I quietly took a seat beside him, glancing at the open book.  Chemistry.  I couldn’t help but frown.  “How do you understand any of that?” I had to ask.

             
“It’s not that hard.  Just more formulas and equations then anything.” Sean answered.  He actually seemed to be laughing a little at me.

             
“No.  That’s hard.  I can’t do any of that kind of math.  It gives me headaches.” I admitted.

             
Sean just smiled.  “That’s probably because you’re putting too much thought into them.  Part of the thing about formulas is that they tend to be much more simple then they appear.” He explained.

             
“If you say so.” I said.  I pushed my hair back over my shoulder and sighed.  May as well ask him what I wanted to.  We were the only ones in that corner of the library for the time being, so we wouldn’t be overheard if we spoke softly enough.  “Hey Sean, I did want to talk to you.  If you don’t mind.”

             
“Sure.” Sean agreed, though his voice sounded a little unsure now.

             
I took a deep breath, then began.  “Look, I’ve been thinking about a lot lately with all of this and everything that happened.  And it’s really bothered me that I haven’t seen you anywhere in the last couple weeks.” I admitted.

             
“You really didn’t need to worry about that.  I just needed to do some things, so I needed some time.” Sean admitted, so he spoke very softly now.  He almost sounded sad.

             
“I know you probably did.  But I still wanted to at least try to talk to you.  And I didn’t even get the chance to after Raziel came back because you were gone.” I continued.

             
Sean just watched me for a moment.  “I understand.  It probably would’ve been hard anyways though, considered Raziel’s never really cared much for me anyways.” He finally said.

             
“Yeah.  I noticed that.” I said, smiling in spite of myself.  “But also, there were some things I wanted to ask you too.  I just kind of hope you don’t take them the wrong way.”

             
“I won’t.  You can ask me whatever you like.  I feel like I owe you at least that much.” Sean assured me.

             
I took a deep breath before continuing.  This sure was going easier then I’d thought.  But once again, my comfort level was there.  Ever since what happened, I just felt so comfortable the more I was around him.  “I’ll be the first one to admit that I’m kind of stupid about this whole thing.  I didn’t even know what I’m supposed to be until recently.  And I feel like I don’t know anything about people like you.  Foxes, I mean.”

             
“I see.” Sean said, sitting back a little.  “Well, I don’t really know where to begin explaining, to be completely honest with you.  I guess I could start with whatever you want to know about us. As I said, I owe you that much for allowing me to even be near you again, even if only for today.”

             
I glanced around again, but the library was still mostly empty.  “Okay then.  Well, first off, why did you attack me?” I asked quietly.  I couldn’t believe I was saying that out loud now without shivering either.

             
Sean looked down.  I could see a pensive look cross his face.  “That was… my other nature then.” He admitted softly.

             
“Other nature?” I repeated.

             
Sean sighed, making himself look back at me.  “It’s not that I’d ever want to hurt you or anyone else.  I never truly have.  But because of what I was born as, I carried the fox nature of harm as well.  Most of the older, full blooded foxes are able to conquer that part of them with time and get along with other creatures, but I really hadn’t yet.  Until that day.” He explained.

             
“You mean when you fell to the ground, right?” I guessed.

             
“Yes.” Sean agreed.  “You must realize that something happened there to stop me.  For me, it felt like my entire being was shattered in that instant, then just as quickly put back together.  Only the terrible part of me that longed to hurt you was gone.  It was like it had been swept away in the process.  I’ve been trying to understand it myself for a while now, and I think I may finally have found the answer.  However, the answer itself has also puzzled me.”

             
With that, he reached around to my back and felt my shoulder blades.  “What are you doing?” I asked, though I couldn’t make myself move for the shock.

             
“I didn’t think so.  I wouldn’t have imagined Michael being so angry if you’d had them.” Sean said.

             
“Had what?  Stop that!” I demanded, pulling back a little to make him stop.

             
“I’m sorry.  I’m talking about wings.” Sean said softly.

             
So he knew about our wings after all.  Well, there was one answer I was looking for.  I crossed my arms and sighed.  “No.  I don’t think I’m even close to getting them yet.” I admitted.

             
“I see.  Well, that is rather puzzling.  How did you do it?” Sean mused, tapping his pencil on the table.

             
“Do what?” I asked.  Seriously, now he’d fully lost me.

             
Sean just laughed slightly to himself.  “Sorry.  I have a bad habit of losing myself when a question bothers me enough.  I’m talking about your abilities, or basically, the ability you used.  You see, what happened that afternoon was not a chance thing.  And looking into your father’s background like I did recently, it made complete sense of how you managed to free me like you did from myself.  In all honesty, I can see no other explanation now. You’re a Breaker.”

             
“A Breaker?” I repeated.  Now that really made no sense.

             
Sean sighed.  “Honestly, Michael hasn’t taught you much in the way of any of this, has he?  I wonder what he’s waiting for?” he said.  He actually looked a bit exasperated now.

             
“Don’t start.  Just tell me what you’re talking about.” I said.

             
“Very well.  Let’s see, what’s the best way for me to describe this?  Ah, here it is.  I’m sure you know a little about the workings of the mind, don’t you?” Sean asked.

             
I nodded.  “Somewhat.”

             
“Well, a Breaker uses their abilities within the mind of those they target.  It’s a psychic ability at best.  It allows the person using it to basically shatter the target’s personality.  But with a Breaker, there is also a step further in that.  Some, like yourself and your father, can literally rebuild the personality at the same time.  Think of it like making renovations though.  You’ve broken down something, then you’ve rebuilt it more to your liking.  That is what a Breaker can do.  However, it takes a powerful Breaker to rebuild a personality so much like it was before, but minus what was wrong with it.” Sean explained.

             
I sat there and listened intently as he told me all of this.  Some of it did make sense, but I couldn’t imagine actually being able to shatter someone’s personality.  “So you’re saying that I did all of that to you?” I finally said.

             
“Give or take.  And I must admit, I don’t think it was the first time you’ve used the ability either.  It was just too perfect.  Tell me, have you ever met another in your life to where you felt in danger?” Sean asked.

             
I shook my head.  “No.  Not that I can remember.” I lied.  The only person I really would’ve considered for that would have been my grandmother.  But her personality towards me certainly never changed, and she wasn’t like him at all.

             
“I see.” Sean said, looking a bit thoughtful once again.  “I have to wonder if it would have been the same.  But that’s just my musing on the subject.  I even find myself wondering if one like that would die for you now just because of it.”

             
“You really think there would be someone out there that would’ve died for me?” I asked.  Somehow, I didn’t like hearing that one too much.  Maybe it was because I had the feeling that I knew what he was referring to.

             
“Of course.  The truth is, I know I would.” Sean confessed.  He gently reached over and laid a hand over mine.

“
Sean?” I said, looking back up and blushing a little.  I think I knew then that there was something more up with him.  But I was almost scared to believe it.  There was no way this was possible. 

Right?

              Sean just sighed.  “Mia, I know you haven’t believed me about not harming you, but I meant what I say.  I never would now.  The truth is, I’ve come to care very deeply about you.  And it bothers me to think of anything happening to you now.  I know what you are, and I know you are above me.  But nothing will change these feelings either.  I’ve come to realize that now.” He said softly.

             
I looked away, taking a deep breath.  I had to admit, I didn’t really know what to say to that one.  I’d seen how he looked at me since what had happened, and I knew how he spoke to me since then.  But I still wasn’t sure, especially now.  Was this all because I’d broken him?  That bothered me a little to think about.  I didn’t want someone to like me just because I’d forced them somehow.