Fearless (15 page)

“Huh,” I said, but said nothing more. At any rate, I knew, as sure as I was sitting there, that Nick would be calling me soon to
read me the riot act about being there with Nottingham. That was one thing about Nick – he always told it just like it was. I was going to get an earful, I knew.

Nottingham and I finished our meal, and I decided to say nothing more to him about Luke. It sounded like he was on the fence, anyhow, about featuring him. I didn’t want to push Luke too much
on him, lest Nottingham get suspicious on why I was doing so. So, for the rest of the evening we talked about politics and other stuff upon which we didn’t agree.

I was increasingly seeing that Nottingham was a corporatist who believed in little regulation. “It stifles industry, Dalilah. I think that we need to get rid of the EPA and any other regulatory agency that imposes needless and expensive regulation.”

“Huh. Well, then, I guess that you haven’t absorbed the lessons of Upton Sinclair. Read
The Jungle
sometime if you really want to know how corporations will behave if there isn’t somebody policing them.”

To this, Nottingham sat up straighter in his chair. I touched a nerve with him, that much was clear. “Don’t be ridiculous, Dalilah. That was another place in another time.”

“Oh? And you’re telling me that corporations, who are beholden to their stock-holders and nobody else, will voluntarily be socially responsible if nobody is holding their feet to the fire? Seriously?” I snorted and took another sip of my wine. “I’m calling bullshit on that. Take away regulations, and you’re going to have sweatshops making a comeback, workers toiling in unimaginable conditions, and contaminated food. Good lord, even with these regulatory agencies, we still see plants exploding right and left because they hadn’t been inspected in years. Sorry, but corporations have never policed themselves, and they never will.”

I was on my soap-box. Blame it on my socially conscious parents. Everything I knew about how factory farms worked, among other industries, came from them. I just hoped that he didn’t
get me started on anything regarding animal rights. It would be at that point that I would pour my glass of wine on his head.

As it was, Nottingham was decidedly getting angry that I was challenging him. Clearly, he was used to women who were seen but not heard. As he busily made his way through his dessert, he was glowering at me. “You really are an impetuous one.
Well, that will soon change. When you’re my wife, you’re going to be a lady.”

I took a huge breath, trying hard not to stand up and slap him and walk right out of that place. I reminded myself of why I was there in the first place – Luke. Luke was going to benefit from the sacrifice that I was making. The sacrifice being having to sit there and listen to this pompous wind-bag.

I smiled, covering up my rage. I was starting to feel sorry for him earlier, but he was back to his controlling and cold self. I never could understand men who thought that they somehow had the duty to control their woman. Make her into some kind of a Stepford Wife. Then I looked around at the helmet-heads, all of whom had impeccable manners and sat up perfectly straight in their chairs, and I was, once again, so glad that I was never really raised in this world. My wealthy parents were so far removed from this place that it wasn’t funny.

Come to think of it, I was surprised that Nick was here. He must have been entertaining somebody well-heeled, because Nick wasn’t stuffy or pretentious in the least.

The rest of the evening didn’t go much better. In fact, it went much worse. We got into the limo, and Nottingham once again tried to finger me. I slapped his hand away, and he slapped me across the face.

“I told you no. You said that you were okay with that.”

“No to sex,” he said. “I want to feel you with my fingers, that’s all.”

“No to that, too,” I said. “No to all of that.”

To that, he pulled away from me and stared out the window. I evidently hurt his feelings.

Oh, well.

Chapter
Twenty-One

I finally made it back to my apartment around 11.
I knew that Luke would still be working at the bar, because he said that was going to close. So, I threw on a pair of jeans and a sweater and made my way to where he worked.

I had to see him. After being with Nottingham that evening, my depression was coming back strong. And, truth be told, I knew that he lived above that bar. So, naturally, I was hoping that I could act like I didn’t want to go all the way home that night, and he would invite me to stay over. Unless, of course, he was embarrassed. But I hoped against hope that he wouldn’t be.

It was a Friday night, so the bar was pretty hopping. I watched Luke behind the bar, as he feverishly poured drinks and shot them over to the patrons and then pointed at other ones. I saw some girls evidently flirting with them, and I wanted to scratch their eyes out. Didn’t they know that Luke was taken?

I didn’t know how I would get his attention, or even if I should. After all, I probably shouldn’t distract him. So, I stood against the wall, as
it was standing room only, and did my usual routine of politely rebuffing guy after guy, until finally the waitress came over and took my drink order.

“Seven and Seven, please, with a twist,” I said, giving my usual drink order. After about twenty minutes, the harried waitress gave me my drink and I took it, tipping her three dollars on my seven dollar drink. That was me, though. I tried to tip well, because I knew how hard these servers worked.

As I sipped my drink, being jostled all around, and having beer spilled all over me, I watched Luke from afar. Truth be told, that was most of the reason why I was down there. Just to be close to him. To feel his presence.

I hoped that I wasn’t a stalker like Nottingham was for me.

Finally, after about an hour, Luke happened to look my way. I smiled and raised my glass to him, and his entire face lit up. That was definitely encouraging for me, because I was afraid that he would think that I was about to boil his bunny or something. Not that he had a bunny.

He shook his head at me, a smile on his face, as his attention was trained on yet another patron at the bar. He got that guy’s drink, and then looked at me again, a huge smile on his face. He shrugged his shoulders as he kept getting drink after drink for the people.

Finally, it seemed that he was able to take a break, because the crowd was starting to thin about 1 AM. He leaped over the bar, not bothering to go through the little door, and rushed over to me.

“Dalilah, this is probably the best surprise that I have ever had,” he said, as he put his arms around me. I put my arms around him as well, feeling his hard back muscles bulging through his tight black t-shirt. “What brings you to my neck of the woods?”

“Um, I was in the neighborhood?” I said, knowing that he was going to call bullshit on that. “No, really, I just wanted to see you. I sure do hope that isn’t stalkery or anything.”

“Of course not. Besides, you can stalk me anytime, anywhere.” Then, at that, one of the other bartenders called him back to the bar, because the patrons were starting to swarm again. “Don’t go away,” he said. “I mean, I have to close, so I hope you don’t mind hanging around until then.”

“I don’t,” I said. And I really didn’t, although it was usually uncomfortable for me being alone in a bar. It was always so difficult keeping the wolves at bay, and tonight was certainly no exception, as one guy after another came up to hit on me. I turned them all down politely, of course.

Finally, closing time came and the drunken people were ushered out of the bar by the bouncer. The bouncer came up to me and tried to make me leave as well, but Luke leaped over the bar again and put his hand on the bouncer’s arm.

“Um, she’s with me,” he said.

The bouncer looked at me and said “yeah, right, Luke. In your dreams.”

I smiled sweetly at the bouncer. “No, really. I’m with him.”

The bouncer looked over at Luke, and nodded his head, a big smile on his face. “Impressed,” he said, and slapped Luke on the shoulder.

Luke looked back at me and smiled, seemingly embarrassed. “I don’t know what it is with everybody refusing to believe that you might be with a guy like me.” Then he shook his head and headed back behind the bar. “I gotta clean up, but I’ll be ready in two shakes. I promise.”

I watched him clean up, a smile on his handsome face. He seemed to be really happy that I was there, and that made me feel immensely better.

Finally, after about a half hour, he leaped from behind the bar again and said “my lady awaits. Do you have a coat and stuff?”

“Yes,” I said, and I produced it, as I had thrown it over one of the chairs. “Here it is.”

He helped me on with my coat and hat, and the two of us made our way outside. Light snow was just starting to fall, the first snow of the season. I could see it in the streetlights, and it was just starting to make a light dusting on the sidewalk.

“I have to say that this was the best surprise ever,” he said, as he tentatively grabbed my hand. He was starting to show snowflakes on this nose and eyelashes, and I thought about how endearing that was. “Um, where would you like to go? I mean, we can find a diner around here that is open all night, I’m sure.”

I took a deep breath. “Can I see your place, Luke? I’m sure it’s not as bad as you are putting on.”

He looked at me skeptically for a second, then said “Oh, what the hell. I mean, we can’t very well stay out here in the cold for too much longer.” So, he took my hand and led me into his building. We creaked up the ancient stairs that smelled of urine, and I discreetly stepped over some condoms which were carelessly thrown on some of the steps. I grossed out when I saw a pop bottle that was filled with urine, apparently, but I soldiered on.

I had to admit that I had never been exposed to such a place before. Not that it turned me off of Luke in the least, because, of course, it didn’t. I was feeling so strongly about him that he could have said that he was homeless, and I would be sleeping on the streets next to him.

Finally, we got to his apartment on the fourth floor. I wondered, briefly, why he would need bars on his windows, but then I saw the fire escape and realized that would be how the burglars were able to get into his place.

He opened the door, and I had to admit that the place really was a hovel. It was a studio, like my own, but he only had a futon to sleep on, a television and a coffee table. The place was much smaller than my place, and had the same old-school radiator that I had, which hissed in the corner. He did have proper curtains, though, which heartened me somewhat. At least he didn’t resort to tacking up bedsheets, as I had seen many people do. His hardwood floors were nice, although they did seem original, so they were quite worn. And the rug beneath his coffee table showed excellent taste, as it was multicolored and geometric, which is what I usually preferred as well.

I smiled, though, even as loud music started blaring from the upstairs apartment. I looked at my watch, seeing that it was 4 AM. “Night owls, huh?” I asked, pointing to the ceiling.

“You might say that,” he said. He looked thoroughly embarrassed, although I wanted to tell him not to be. “Can I take your coat and offer you a drink of something? Beer, wine, whiskey, water?”

“A water would be great,” I said. “God knows I need another alcoholic drink like I need a hole in my head.”

He came back from his tiny kitchen, with the very old-school appliances, a drink of water in his hand for me and one for himself. We sipped it as I looked around the room. He had turned on the stereo, and light electronica music started to waft through the air, as an unfamiliar singer wailed.

“So,” he said. “Here is chez Luke. Really, it’s okay, you can leave screaming into the night and never come back. I really wouldn’t blame you. God knows I would like to follow you, though.”

I smiled, and put my hand on his leg. “Don’t be ridiculous, Luke,” I said. “Yeah, this place isn’t exactly a Hamptons mansion, but, no matter. You’re so young, and you really haven’t had the chance to make your name. But I think that things are going to change.”

He stroked my hair and kissed me lightly on the forehead. “I hope so. Well, if they don’t, I guess it’s the fishery for me. My pop called me today, and told me that he has a job waiting for me. Doesn’t pay a ton, of course, and it really is getting to be grueling work. Because of overfishing, the boats have to go further and further out to catch anything worth the effort. But I have always enjoyed the sea, so it sounds like absolute adventure for me.”

I quietly drank my water, trying to tamp down the rising sense of panic in my throat that was caused by Luke talking like this. It sounded like he was going to be leaving on the first plane in the morning. I bit my lip as I looked at him. I wanted him so badly to kiss me, but he just sat next to me and didn’t make a move.

I wanted to tell him what Nottingham had told me. That he, too, thought that Luke was wildly talented and that he was going to talk to some of his partners about featuring him. That would definitely be just the thing to jump-start him and his career.

But, at the same time, I felt guilty even being with Nottingham earlier. I felt dirty, almost, even though Nottingham and I didn’t do anything at all for me to feel guilty about. I shouldn’t have been alone with him, that’s all. That’s all.

I was deeply disappointed when Luke finally kissed me on the forehead and said “well, it’s awfully late, Dalilah. I wish that I could provide you better accommodations, but I guess that you’ll have to sleep on my couch. Let me bring you a blanket and a pillow.”

“Where will you sleep?” I asked him. “Here with me, if you pull out the futon?” I felt hopeful when I said that.

“I better not,” he said. “I hope you don’t mind if I just get another blanket and pillow and crash out here on the floor next to you.”

“I feel bad, taking your sleeping accommodations just because I happened to pop by unannounced,” I said. “Let me sleep on the floor.”

“I won’t hear of that,” he said, giving me a blanket and pillow. “Good night, Dalilah. Sleep tight, and I’ll see you in the morning. No, wait, it is morning. Then I will see you when we both wake up.”

I smiled, and tried to hide my disappointment that he wasn’t going to sleep in the bed with me.