Fear and Aggression (42 page)

Bastian’s heart now softened towards Seryen.
He had never liked that man. Ever since he was a child, he found
Seryen to be completely distasteful to him. He hated his voice, his
social awkwardness, his gait, and especially his ugly face. In
truth, he was running for Mayor, as much as for any other reason,
to defeat Seryen. He abhorred the idea of Seryen representing, and
running the community that he lived in. Besides ensuring that
Seryen was not the Mayor, he had looked forward to humiliating him
publicly; to showing him how meaningless and useless he was to the
community. He had wanted Seryen to know his place: to feel about
himself as Bastian felt about him. He had wanted Seryen to feel as
though his existence was a burden on everyone around him; he wanted
Seryen to be conscious of Bastian’s view of him. He stared at
Seryen, dumbfounded, as Jencor stared at him.

“
Perhaps, I am out of
place. We may discuss this another time. We can take the boys home
tonight, anyhow,” said Seryen after a long pause.

Bastian still stared,
hardly hearing the words. He was looking into a man that he had
known his whole life, but for the first time. He saw in Seryen what
he had never allowed himself to see before. He saw what was good in
Seryen. He saw love emanating from this man. He saw that his enemy
would sacrifice everything for
his
family. This man would do for these boys, whom he
had no relation to, what
he
shrunk from doing for his own nephews—his own
family. His sister lay there with her body charred, unable to take
care of her boys, and he was struggling with being willing to
fulfill the family duty of caring for them, in this hour of
desperate need. Yet, this man, whom he saw as worthless and
preferred that he did not exist, was happy to step in and give his
all for them.

“
Bastian,” said Jencor,
wondering what the silence was all about.

This snapped him back to reality. “Seryen,
this is a great commitment, and you are not even family. Could you
take this upon yourselves?”

“
If we would be so
honored, we would be family. They would be our children, and you
would be my brother. We would be family.”

Bastian and Jencor looked toward Roloff as
if to say, “Are we in the wrong if we give away our nephews? Would
it be forgivable to Bellerie that on the night of her death, we
neglect this family duty, and instead, give it to another?” They
trusted Roloff’s advice and wisdom, and were silently seeking it
now.

Roloff looked from them to Seryen, and then
to Prianna who was busy with the boys. He saw a miracle taking
place, amidst a great tragedy. He looked back at Bastian and Jencor
and nodded approvingly. Bastian’s head dropped, and then he looked
Seryen in the eyes.

“
I am sorry that I have
never been good to you. Now, we will be brothers. I have never been
kind towards you, but I
will be
forever after. You do me more honor than I
deserve, but for Bellerie’s sake I am truly grateful.”

Seryen wanted to smile, to laugh, to jump
for joy, but he knew that this night would not be the occasion.
Still, he could not hide the joy that came over his face. He
reached out and took Bastian’s hand, and shook it. “I am so sorry
for your loss. I must tell Prianna.” He turned to go, but then
turned around quickly again toward Roloff. “I must take care of the
boys tonight, are you able to take care of all else.”

Roloff did not know if he
could take care of all else that was before he, and this community.
But he nodded and smiled at his friend. He watched as Seryen
relayed the news to Prianna and the boys. It was getting quite dark
now, but he could see on her face that she was overcome with joy.
He watched as they gathered up the boys, and began walking towards
their home. They had not even thought to get the boys any of their
things. He almost wanted to go down and correct that, but thought
better of it.
They will have a lot to
learn, but they are up to it. I will help where needed, but I think
that they will figure it out on their own,
he thought.

Bastian and Jencor had walked away, and he
did not know if they were planning to come back to help clean up
the body. Seryen and Prianna were gone now. He had not been acting
as Mayor for several weeks, but now he was back on duty. Most of
the rest of the townspeople were in the vicinity. They were in
shock. Everyone had been told about the visitors, and that they had
a craft. They all knew that Aspiria was likely taken by them. Now,
the story had been heard by all about the ships appearing and
disappearing out of nowhere, then violently destroying their
substation, and killing Bellerie. Concern was seen on their faces,
through the darkness of the night. The chatter had grown quiet as
he had finished with Seryen and Bastian. The town had waited
quietly, and patiently, while the urgency’s of the Lodophin family
was taken care of. But it was now their turn.

Roloff felt it as he looked around. He did
not have any answers for them. He felt responsible, as though his
going to the city, and the response that followed had somehow
caused this destruction. Caryell came up to him, and stood beside
him. He looked down, and peered into his eyes. There was not an
ounce of fear on this young man’s face. He looked up at his father
with a confidence and countenance that strengthened Roloff to the
core. Caryell must have seen the concern in his father’s face, for
he said, “God knows us, and is watching over us. We are not in
control of what is happening, but He is. There is nothing for us to
be afraid of. I know that He is strengthening Mother as well.”

The wisdom and faith coming from this young
man caused Roloff’s heart to burn. He felt his own faith
strengthen, and his confidence grew. He knew this to be true, and
he felt it in an instance. It was not he that had discovered
Aspiria’s whereabouts, through calculation and rational thought; it
had been given to him by inspiration. He had been prayerful and had
done what he believed to be right. Neither he, nor anyone on this
world, could counteract the power of these visitors from another
world. The visitors could do to them what they wanted. But God was
more powerful than they, and He was ultimately in control. What
more could they do than trust in Him?

As he spoke to the people, he felt led in
his spirit. He could see that the countenance of the people
changed, and that they felt comforted; not so much by his words,
but by the force that was behind his words. They were not his
words, he was merely the mouthpiece. The people, in large measure,
went home, while some of the men stayed to help. Tonight it was
only critical to get Bellerie in a respectable situation. Tomorrow
the cleanup of the substation would begin. His only nagging feeling
was what further damage had been done. What had they done to the
city? He was concerned about his family there. He looked over at
his child—he was a child no longer. He was a man, in a not quite
grown up body. They had been through much together, and would
continue to do so, it appeared. He had lost his dear sweet
companion, who was of such strength to him. Yet, he now saw her in
his son. He looked much like her right now. Not so much in
features, but in confidence and faith. He saw those unique features
in Caryell. He longed to share this with Aspiria. But what had
become of her? What would they do to her? He could only trust in
God.

Roloff and Caryell walked home that night,
very late. They were exhausted, emotionally as well as physically.
Tomorrow would be a long day. The cleanup would take days, and
perhaps weeks. That would not include the time to rebuild the
substation, if that was what they were to do. But tonight they
would get a few hours of sleep. It was strange walking up to the
house, and seeing no lights. It had not been so many years since
that was a normal experience, but now it felt dark.

“
What can I do to
help?”

“
Um…could you grab those
for me?”

“
Sure,” Aspiria said as
she walked over to the counter and picked up a plastic container
and brought it over to Tammy.

“
Two days until
Thanksgiving, we’ve already got the turkey defrosting.” Bob had
just walked into the lab, and couldn’t contain his excitement.
Every meal brought excitement to him, but Thanksgiving was more
than he could contain. “Tammy, do you need Aspiria, right now? We
could use her in the galley. We are trying to get today’s meal done
and get everything ready for the feast.”

“
What is Thanksgiving?”
asked Aspiria, sensing the excitement in Bob’s voice. She really
was curious, but she asked more as a courtesy to Bob, allowing him
to exuberantly elaborate, than to satisfy her own curiosity. Either
way, both objectives would be simultaneously satisfied.

“
You don’t know about
Thanksgiving!”

If Tammy had wanted to keep Aspiria here in
the lab with her, she would have had an uphill battle at this
point. Sensing that the battle was essentially lost, and not
minding anyway, she said, “Go ahead, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it; I
really don’t have much more to do here, anyway.” She had headed Bob
off at the pass, and saved herself from hearing him go on and on.
She’d get it anyway, she was sure, over the next couple of
days.

Aspiria and Bob left, with Bob talking a
mile a minute. As they walked out the door, Aspiria turned to Tammy
and caught Tammy’s eye. Aspiria gave Tammy a wink, and it made
Tammy smile. Aspiria was always looking after everyone else’s
interests. Tammy scurried around the lab for a few minutes, and
everything was tidied and in place. Aspiria and she had given it a
thorough cleaning yesterday. Her reports were nearly completed, and
she was in no mood to work through them now.

It was hard feeling like
the holiday season was approaching, from the perspective of being
on this ship, and on this mission. Still, she did allow herself the
pleasure of remembering her last Thanksgiving at home, and it
brought found memories. Steve had been so busy lately, and he had
been very distant with her. She wanted to be with him, but dared
not be the first to approach
. I’ll give
him the time he needs
, she thought.
When he’s ready…if he is ready, he’ll let me
know.
She decided to see what the other
men were up to. Sometimes they provided good conversation, or even
a friendly game of cards. She certainly wasn’t in the mood to be
alone, or to busy herself aimlessly in the lab any
longer.

When she got to the deck, she saw that Mike,
James, and Kenny were dealing a deck of cards.

“
Hey ya, Tammy, shall we
deal you in?” asked Kenny in a friendly, good-spirited
manner.

“
I don’t want to
interrupt.” She did want to, though.

“
We haven’t even started
yet, we’re just beginning to deal,” said James. “Join
in.”

She didn’t need any more of an opening; she
made her way to the table, as Mike picked up what he had already
dealt, and prepared to reshuffle. “I like it better with four.
Besides, these guys are less likely to cheat with a woman present.”
Light chuckles ensued, and Tammy was already feeling better.

Before the hand was completely dealt, they
were interrupted again. “Captain Jenners, did you get a good rest?”
asked Kenny in the same cheerful manner.

“
Not bad. Where is
Aspiria?” he asked, looking at Tammy.

“
Bob and Danny are
starting to get ready for Thanksgiving, and they wanted her help in
the galley.”

Steve nodded, “Ah, that’s right. When is
it?”

“
Two days,” said James.
“Hey Captain, we could play with five. You should join
us.”

“
You do look like you
could use some downtime,” said Kenny honestly; but then feeling
like he had overstepped his bounds, he looked down.

“
Oh sure, I’ll deal again,
just deal it up for the third time.” But Mike said it with friendly
sarcasm, and looked up at Steve with a smile.

Tammy was already scooting her chair over,
and looked at him longingly. Steve scanned their faces, and stopped
on Tammy’s for a moment. He could see that she was seeking
reconciliation; he considered entering the game momentarily, but
just didn’t feel ready for reconciliation—not just yet. “Thank you,
but…I think I will check on the galley. It’s more fun with four,
and Mike looks like he might throw a fit.”

Everyone else was fine and turned toward the
game, but Tammy continued to look at him; he could see the hurt on
her face. She tried to smile, but the sorrow and pain was still
evident on her face. She looked down at the space that now existed
between her and James—the space she had intended for Steve—and it
represented to her the emptiness and the gulf between her and
Steve. It would be another minute before she would shift her seat,
making the table of four more evenly spaced.

As soon as his footsteps could no longer be
heard, James spoke up. “He really does look stressed. He really
could use some relaxation.”

“
Sure. Nobody ever said it
was easy being the Captain. This mission has gone very well though,
and Command seems pleased. I’m surprised at how much stress he
seems to have. You know, his little brother took a bad beating
recently. I don’t think that he has been the same since then,”
explained Kenny.

James nodded, but Mike stared at his cards
with no expression. He had insights into the stress that the other
men did not. He knew of the pregnancy, and how much that was
weighing on his mind. He also knew of Steve’s desire to return
Aspiria home; that was not going to happen. He did not know of the
abortion; no one did; but he believed that he sensed the situation
well, and tried to think how he might turn the conversation; it
could not be very pleasant for Tammy, right now.