Faye's Spirit (15 page)

“Was it sad to say goodbye?”

“In a way, yes. Paulo was all mine. He introduced me to wild things that were all mine and his, not second hand stories heard here in the kitchen.”

That struck Faye oddly, because it mirrored her own experience with Jai and Garth.

She’d been exposed to ménage relationships through her sisters, much as Maud was exposed to kinky sex through the working girls here. But meeting their own men was something else altogether.

“When I said no, he opened up an expensive bottle of champagne purloined from the back of his van.” A smile passed over her expression as she remembered. “We drank it straight from the bottle as we toasted our futures.”

“Then what happened?”

Maud’s expression turned serious and her eyelids lowered. She meshed her hands together, then drew them to her face and covered her eyes.

Faye stiffened. She felt as if she’d been jolted through with an electric current, because an intense burst of silent emotion had come from Maud without warning. “Maud?”

“That’s when I found out I was pregnant, after he’d gone.”

Faye’s throat felt constricted, so overwhelming was the emotion she felt from Maud.

She’d made no mention of a baby before now, and Faye felt desperate, her empathy taking her right to the heart of the matter. She struggled to keep her voice level, to continue to draw Maud out, no matter how hard. “That must have been very difficult.”

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Maud hung her head. “The girls here told me to get rid of it. I couldn’t do that, and I couldn’t go home. My mam finished with me when she found out I’d got pregnant while I was working here.”

Faye’s mind raced through the possibilities. The car accident had been very close to the house. Had she left the place to have the child? No, the obituary surely would have mentioned that. “What did you do?”

“The girls here, they stood by me. I decided to have the baby and arrange for him to be adopted. I went to the nuns. They had this place over at Holborn. Big old Manor house it was. When I was six months gone I booked an appointment to ask for help. They agreed. I signed a form and then they showed me the place.”

Her visual memories flitted through Faye’s mind and she saw a sterile, cold place with a sombre mood.

“It had two staircases. One was for the girls giving birth to go upstairs to the maternity rooms, and the other was a big posh one where they made a show of carrying babies down to the people who were adopting.”

It sounded archaic.

“I wanted it, but I dreaded going there.”

“Was that when you lived upstairs on the top floor, when you were pregnant?”

“No, that came later.”

Would she say more about it? “Did you give birth there, at the place in Holborn?”

Maud nodded. “When I went into labour one of the girls took me.” Her lower lip trembled. “They took the baby from me straight away. He was big and healthy, a lovely boy.

I scarcely got a look at him though, and they were taking him down the posh stairs to where his new mam and dad were waiting.”

The immense sense of loss hit Faye hard, and she knew she only experienced a part of it, second-hand. She had no doubt that this was at the heart of Maud’s lingering spirit, this secret child.

“You regretted it?”

“It was the right thing to do for the lad, but I lost my mind for a while there afterwards. That’s when I stayed upstairs for a while. The girls wanted to keep an eye on me, told me I was suffering from grief.” She fell silent again, staring off into the distance. “What www.total-e-bound.com

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broke my heart was that I didn’t know if he had a better life. I wanted that for him, and the nuns said I could go back and they would tell me how he was. I never had the chance.”

Because she died in her accident
. Faye saw it all, the pieces of the puzzle finally slipping into place. “Would it help if you knew what had happened to him?”

“I’ll never know.”

“I may be able to help you. There are ways to find out.”

Maud stared at her. “You would do that for me?”

The faint glimmer of hope she saw in Maud’s eyes made her throat tighten and her eyes smarted with unshed tears. It was difficult to speak, but she wanted to. “I wish I could hold your hand and reassure you. I promise I will find out as much as I can for you.”

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Chapter Twelve

Faye slumped against the banisters in the hallway for a moment before going upstairs.

The grief Maud had shared with her had been debilitating. But now she knew. The need to know about her baby boy was the stumbling block, the thing that stopped her spirit from resting in peace.

It took a few minutes to pull herself together, then Faye glanced at her watch and noticed it was only three hours until she had to be at work in the shop—her regular job, the one that paid the rent. Now she had the bit between her teeth with Maud, she wanted to press on. During her lunch break she could attempt to contact the adoption agency for guidance on where to begin the hunt for Maud’s baby. It was a plan, and as she trudged upstairs, she grew hopeful about resolving Maud’s concerns.

When she was on the second flight of stairs the sound of raised voices reached her.

Garth and Jai were obviously awake, and they seemed to be having an argument.

She paused. She’d been hoping to get up there and wash her face and slip into bed while they slept. No such luck, and she didn’t want them to see her in such an emotional mess. After her recent experience with Maud she was in no fit state to referee some disagreement they were having.

But then bits of the conversation reached her, and she heard her own name—and more—and she was drawn on, inexorably, listening all the while.

* * * *

Garth stood in his kitchenette making coffee. He wanted to go to see how Faye was getting on, but after the previous incident he decided to keep well out of it. Yawning, he retied his dressing gown and went to the fridge for milk.

Jai entered the room.

“Coffee?”

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“Mm. Please.” Jai leaned up against the work surface and folded his arms across as his bare chest. “I was just thinking, maybe I should utilise that space downstairs after all, put a bit of furniture in there and move some of my stuff in.”

“Touched a nerve did we?” It was about time Jai got his own place, and that would be one step nearer. He poured milk into two mugs of coffee.

“No, I just thought it would be more practical…if we are going to keep seeing Faye.”

Garth stared at him. Jai had that knowing, amused look on his face, and—given the subject matter—it irritated Garth immensely. He shoved one of the mugs in Jai’s direction.

“So that’s it, you’ve decided the outcome for everyone…you’ve decided that ‘we are’ going to keep seeing Faye.”

Jai nodded then picked up his coffee and took a slug.

“This isn’t some joke, some bit of fun. You’ve got to realise that I care about that woman.”

“So do I.”

Jai chose that moment to wander off into the sitting-room.

Garth stomped after him, infuriated. He’d assumed Jai would get bored and leave him and Faye to it. “What gives you the right to decide who sees who?”

Jai was perfectly calm. “With a woman like Faye, I figure she needs to know where she stands. If we want to take this seriously, we need to say so.”

“I know that, but I don’t need you to speak for me.”

Jai put his coffee down. “That wasn’t what you said on Saturday, when you thanked me for taking charge.”

“That was different. I did not have experience in that situation. I’m fully able to state my intentions without you sticking your oar in.”

“I get the feeling you weren’t intending to share your intentions with me.” Jai looked annoyed now too.

“Why should I? I thought you would get bored and bugger off.”

Jai gave a heavily sarcastic response. “Gee, thanks buddy.”

Garth’s annoyance grew. It felt as if this was getting out of his control, and it meant too much for that to happen. “You know what I mean. You don’t do the dating, commitment thing.”

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Jai gesticulated, as if he despaired. “Maybe I haven’t before now, that doesn’t mean I won’t ever, not if I like a woman as much as I like Faye. Besides, what makes you think she would be happy to settle for one of us? She seems to like having both of us around.”

“That was a fantasy, but it might not be what she wants in the long run.”

Jai gestured dismissively with one hand, his eyes dark with anger. “I’m not stepping aside for you Garth. You’d never have even got her into bed if I hadn’t been here. I didn’t push you hard enough with Izzy, and you messed that up for everyone involved.”

“Bastard.” Garth’s blood pumped way too fast.

“I’ve stuck by you all these years. If it hadn’t been for me you probably would have messed it up again.”

Garth had the urge to flatten him. “What, you’re saying you stick by me because you stole Izzy from me?”

“I didn’t steal her. She wanted you as well. It was like this, only you couldn’t hack it.”

“It wasn’t like this. I want Faye, I care about her. She’s just another leg over for you, another notch on the bedpost.”

“Fuck you. You don’t know how I feel about her. You never bother to ask how I feel about anything. It’s all about you and your sensitive soul and having to deal with me and my approach to life.”

“Excuse me for interrupting, but who the hell is Izzy?”

Garth swallowed his next rebuke and stared at Faye, who stood in the doorway.
God
no.

She looked a wreck. Her eyes were red rimmed and there were mascara streaks on her face—and she looked at him as if she thought he had a wife stashed away somewhere. Her face was flushed and her eyes were filled with hurt and mistrust.

Garth wanted to kick himself. He walked towards her, arms outstretched.

She put up her hands, blocking his approach. “You lied to me, you said you’d never shared another woman.” Her voice sounded distraught. “At least I was honest about why I got involved! You two are in this because you have a competition going on about some woman you had in the past.”

“That’s not the case.” Garth denied it vehemently.

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Behind him, Jai backed him up, denying it too. “No, Faye, that’s not the way it was at all.”

Garth struggled to find the right thing to say, his mind reeling as he tried to work out how much and what exactly she’d heard. “We all came into this with history, with curiosity and different motives. We’re just trying to make it work, decide who gets to see you.”

As soon as he said that, Garth wanted to snatch the words back.

She glared at him. “So you think you can decide who I get to see.” She made a disbelieving sound and shook her head. “Okay, maybe this was a bad idea after all. I need time out. I’ll just get my things and I’ll call for a taxi.”

“Faye, please.” Garth pleaded with her.

Jai stood back observing silently. When Garth looked his way, Jai shook his head.

“Maybe we all need to step back and think about this with cool heads in the morning.”

Faye was gathering her stuff together, shoving things into a bag. “I’ll continue to do my research on Maud,” she stated loudly, “and I’ll be in touch regarding that matter as soon as I can.”

She spoke in a businesslike manner, but her voice trembled and he could see that she was wiping away tears in between gathering her things. “I’ve had a hell of a time with her down there tonight, but I’m almost done now, I’m sure of it.”

Garth’s frustration with the turn of events grew. What had gone on down there? Most of all he couldn’t believe Jai was going to let her walk out.

“See, it’s easy for you to just let it go,” he accused.

Jai stared at him, holding his gaze. “No, it isn’t.”

Garth’s gut churned, because he could see it now—he could see it in Jai’s eyes. He did care about her. He had been sincere about moving things forward with her. He could have probably taken her all for himself, but he’d been willing to share.

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Chapter Thirteen

On Monday evening, Faye sat in a taxi—which was queuing in the bumper-to-bumper early evening London traffic—on her way to Monica’s reunion party at the Cumbernauld hotel, and she felt like a limp dishrag. All through the ride she mulled over the astonishing and emotional events of the last couple of days, and figured it was just as well the traffic crawled along. It might give her time to pull herself together before meeting her family.

It wasn’t just the row with Garth and Jai, although that was the last straw. Peeling away Maud’s layers had proved draining, because she’d fast grown to like her. The reason for Maud’s afterlife existence had also left Faye horribly aware of how easy it was to make mistakes in life, and live to regret them. She’d been in no fit state for what followed.

The last thing she’d wanted was Jai and Garth fighting over her. They had a competitive dynamic, she was aware of that. What she didn’t know was that she had fast become a big issue between them. They weren’t just friends either. They were business partners, and that meant there was a lot at stake.

Guilt weighed heavily on her as she considered she might have screwed up their relationship for good, in the name of a bit of fun. The fact they’d apparently been in a similar situation before with another woman made it even worse. Garth was angry because of that, but it was no good reason to fight, and definitely no reason to carry on regardless of what her wishes might be.

By the time the taxi pulled up at Cumbernauld’s her chaotic emotions were scarcely any more stable, but she felt a little more able to cope. Glancing up at the impressive façade of her sister’s workplace, she vowed to live up to it. Once inside she made her way through the reception. Cumbernauld’s was one of the most exclusive hotels in London and she’d always felt totally out of place meeting Monica and Holly there. That was why they usually opted to meet at a nearby Italian coffee house instead.