Fault Line (30 page)

It's complicated.

You know what they say: Take heart. The common denominator in all your dysfunctional relationships-

Is you.' Yeah, I've heard that.

Christ, she was tough. He imagined what it would be like to be in some kind of relationship with her. He wouldn't win many arguments, that was for sure.

Look, he said, you were right in the bar. I can't I can't have them depend on me. I mean, what's worse, popping in on my daughter a few times a year, or just being gone entirely? All the first would do is make her aware of my absence, make her aware of some loss. With the second, there's no one to miss. So no loss.

I don't get it. If no one depends on you, you can't let anyone down, is that it?

That's not what I'm saying.

Want to know what I think?

Alex always asks me that. I always tell him no.

Does he tell you anyway?

Of course.

Then I will, too. What you're describing? It's like stealing. Stealing an inheritance the person doesn't even know she has. Will she miss the money? Will she even know it's gone, or feel diminished by its absence? No. But just because the person isn't aware of the theft doesn't make you any less a thief.

They teach you that in law school?

What happened with you and Alex, anyway?

We drifted.

Come on, no one drifts like that. He doesn't even know you were married, or that he has a niece.

He looked away from her for a moment, trying to decide what, or whether, to tell her. He didn't know where to begin. We had a sister, is what came out. And he went on from there. He didn't mean to say much. But once he started talking, he found it hard to stop.

Your poor family, she said, when he was done. I thought mine had problems.

He laughed harshly. What family? There's no one left.

There's you and Alex.

Alex blames me for the whole thing.

He told you that?

Not in those words. But he does.

They were quiet for a moment. She said, Did you enlist to get away from what happened with your sister?

No. I had decided before the accident. My parents didn't want me to. They put a lot of pressure on me, but this is what I wanted. Since I was a kid.

I think it's good you enlisted.

He looked at her, surprised. Are you serious? I thought you thought I'm a sadistic, torturing baby killer.

I don't think that. I was just trying to get under your skin. Anyway, that's not what I meant. I think it's good you enlisted because it's what you wanted. I wish I had your attitude about standing up to my parents. But you were right in the bar, too. I don't know what I want.

He didn't respond.

She said, Why are you helping Alex?

He looked at her. This is helping him?

She laughed. He doesn't have to know about this.

Yeah, I think that's best.

Why, though? I mean, you're so estranged and everything. And yet, here you are.

He thought about it for a moment. The bottom line was, he wasn't sure himself.

He needs my help, is all he could think to say.

He wanted her to ask more. Maybe it would help him figure it out.

Instead she said, You really think he's interested in me?

Come on, look at you.

That's all you're going on?

Believe me, that's a lot. But no. Like I said, I can tell. What about you? You were never interested in him?

There was a pause. She said, He's a good-looking guy, and there's a lot to like. But I don't know, he reminds me of the guys I went out with in college and law school. I don't want to keep repeating myself.

What do I remind you of?

She looked at him. You don't remind me of anything. But at the same time, you do.

He shook his head. I don't follow you.

She smiled. You don't have to.

Yeah, but-

Shhh. Why don't you just apologize to me again?

I'm sorry.

She eased a leg over his body, then moved astride him, her hands on the floor on either side of his head. She leaned in close, her hair cascading down past his face, enveloping him, and looked into his eyes.

That's not much of an apology, she said.

He put his hands on her waist.

Let me rephrase it, he said.

Chapter 26 LIKE A DREAM

After they'd made love again, Ben told Sarah he had to sleep for a while or he wouldn't be any good the next day. They'd crawled up onto the bed and he was gone almost instantly. Now she was watching him, exhausted herself, but too wired to sleep.

She d never come like that before. Never. And now twice in one night. With her two previous boyfriends she had thought of intercourse as a pleasant option, but nothing indispensable. Now she finally understood what all the fuss was about. She ached in a delicious way, a physical reminder of how much pleasure she'd just had, and thinking about him inside her made her want to wake him and do it again. They hadn't used any protection, and she knew that was incredibly stupid. She knew she should be upset with herself about that, at least, and yet she wasn't. Maybe later she would worry about it, but for now she just couldn't.

She wondered what would happen between them when this was all over. Her two boyfriends were the only other men she'd been intimate with. She'd known them before anything happened, and there was structure and context for everything that happened after. The man lying naked beside her now she didn't know him at all, and the little she did know was unnerving at best. He was a killer. He stood for-in fact, personified-things she abhorred. He was damaged, he was violent, he was the antithesis of everything she had previously conceived as suitable. So why? What was it?

She smiled. Why think so much? When he woke up, she would seduce him again. That would be enough for now, and after that, they could play it by ear.

She had wanted to ask more about his relationship with Alex. But he'd been reticent, and she didn't want to push.

She wondered, though. She didn't understand how Alex could blame Ben. First, because none of it seemed like Ben's fault to her, not really. And even if there was what lawyers called but for causation, certainly there was no proximate cause, the kind of cause that's legally blameworthy. And even if there were, how could someone hold a grudge like that? Against his own brother? She reminded herself she had only one side of the story. And Ben didn't exhibit a whole lot of brotherly love for Alex, either.

But why was he here, then? If Alex blamed him for what had happened to their family, was Ben's presence now a kind of apology? Expiation? And if so, why couldn't Alex accept it?

She watched the rise and fall of his chest. Initially, she had thought he was a Neanderthal and nothing more, but now she realized he'd been feeding her that image, and that she had been all too ready to swallow it. He was actually extremely smart. The stuff he'd said about her in the bar yes, he was trying to be hurtful, but he'd seen a lot.

She wondered for a moment whether she was giving him too much credit for his insights. Because if someone dumb had seen that deeply into her, it could only mean she was shallow. Better to credit his laser insightfulness than blame her transparent superficiality.

Or maybe she wanted a way to believe he was smart because if he was smart it would mean that earlier she'd been so wrong about him?

She chuckled softly. She was being an idiot, overanalyzing when what she really needed to do was just drop it and get some sleep. The sun was going to be up in just a few hours. She and Alex still had a lot to do if they were going to figure out what had made Obsidian so dangerous to them.

Alex. Could he really be in love with her? She'd never seen any sign. On the other hand, in his way, he was as tightly controlled as his brother. Look at the subterranean depths of his family history, something she'd never seen before, or even sensed. Who could say what other currents roiled beneath that smooth surface? Maybe she'd been taking him for granted. On the other hand, what else could she do when he showed so little?

Thinking about him made her feel guilty. If Ben was right, and if Alex sensed what had just happened here, it was apt to make their situation even more complicated.

Well, there was no reason for him to know. They certainly weren't going to tell him, and he wasn't going to find out.

She put her head on the pillow and let out a long sigh. She felt sleep descending, finally, and the last thing she remembered before surrendering to it was what Ben had said in the bar, that this was all going to seem like a dream.

Chapter 27 WE'RE DONE

Alex sat hunched at the desk, his eyes roving over the laptop screen, reading Hilzoy's notes for what felt like the thousandth time. He'd been up all night, going through the notes forward, then backward, then randomly. He thought if he approached Hilzoy's thinking out of order he might spot something he and Sarah had missed. But nothing.

The Obsidian toolbar was designed like a typical commercial software application, with functions laid out horizontally, each clickable to reveal a drop-down submenu of options related to the primary menu function. You could customize the menu to add functions or hide them, but none of the functions allowed him to do anything but obvious variations of encryption. He tried every version of the menu he could think of. He customized it. He hid functions, then brought them back.

Hidden functions. That's what he was looking for. But where were they? Not in Hilzoy's notes, that was for sure. Alex practically had them memorized at this point. There was nothing there.

Was there another version, maybe? Something Hilzoy didn't even trust his lawyer with?

Maybe. But if there was some sort of double, secret set of notes, Hilzoy would have needed to back that one up, too. Why have Alex hold the backup for one but not the other? It didn't make sense. There wasn't another version. It all had to be right here.

Another version, he thought, rubbing his eyes. Another version.

He cursored up to the menu and scrolled through it. File. Edit. Tools. He selected Tools, then cursored down. Macros, Customize Track Changes.

Track changes.

Track changes from previous versions.

Damn. Could it be that simple?

He selected Show Previous Versions. Nothing happened.

Shit.

He scrolled down through Hilzoy's notes. Midway, the numerals one through ten appeared in blue alongside a list of functions, the functions all relating to creation of a macro. The numbers were out of order. Alex stared at them, not understanding. He scrolled through the rest of the notes, but there were no other changes.

He scrolled back up to the numbers. It looked like in a previous version of the notes, Hilzoy had numbered these functions. But why? And why were the numbers out of order?

It had to be significant. If there had been any previous versions, Hilzoy had accepted all the changes, effectively erasing them all. Except for these numbers. He wanted a record of these. But a hidden record, apparently. That couldn't be an accident. It had to mean something.

All right, what if he just performed the functions in the order of the hidden numbers? Worth a try.

He followed the steps, one through ten, then hit enter.

Nothing happened.

Damn. He'd really been hoping there.

He scrolled up to the menu bar again, checking each function. File, nothing new. Edit, same. Tools

He blinked and leaned forward. The Tools menu had three new entries: Creation. Concealment. Delivery.

Holy crap, he said aloud. This is it. It has to be.

Hilzoy had built an Easter egg into Obsidian. And not the usual, just-for-laughs version you could find in so many DVDs and so much commercial software. No, this looked like a whole new application for the technology.

But an application for what?

His heart pounding, he started working the keyboard. He got so immersed, he lost track of time, and didn't even remember where he was until light started creeping into the sky outside his window. What he found was electrifying.

At six-thirty, he showered and got dressed. He put the gun Ben had given him in his pocket, acutely aware of its weight and bulk. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to carry a gun-make that two guns-all the time.

He went across to the other room to tell Ben. The tough guy had walked out last night when things had gotten heated, but whatever. Alex wasn't sorry for what he'd said. Part of him wished he'd said more. Maybe that was the problem. Ben was obtuse. You couldn't expect him to understand something, especially something he didn't want to understand, unless you beat him over the head with it.

He tried his key card, but it didn't work. Shit, Ben must have engaged the privacy lock. He might still be sleeping. But the hell with it, this was worth waking him for.

Alex knocked, then waited. No answer. He knocked again, louder. After a minute, he heard Ben's voice.