Fates' Folly (16 page)

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Authors: Ella Norris

Tags: #fantasy, #steamy, #fates, #chocolate addiction, #humour adult, #witty and charming, #mythology and romance, #mythology and magical creatrues, #fun and flirty

BOOK: Fates' Folly
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Barty started to say something, but I cut him
off.

"Oh no, wait!" I said, dramatically cupping
my hand to my ear while still keeping my balance, yes I am a bad
ass. "Do you hear that? I believe that is Hades bellowing from his
domain because hell has frozen over."

Barty kicked the board. I fell very hard on
my stomach and face.

It hurt, especially my face. I did not want
to move. Truthfully, I wasn't sure if I could.

"Not such a badass," Barty said, calmly.

"How did you know I was thinking that?" I
mumbled, from the side of my mouth that wasn't pressed against the
floor.

"Like your nickname suggests, TT, you are
easy. Easy to read, easy to anger and easy to drop to the floor,"
he said smugly, holding out his hand to help me up.

"I'm not the only one easy to anger. You
didn't have to resort to violence," I said, letting him pull me to
my feet.

He shook his head. "I know. You are the only
person who is capable of making me lose my temper. It's very
unsettling. Many adversaries much more intelligent and wittier than
you have tried to prick my temper and failed."

"Maybe, instead of trying to prick your
temper they should have just called you one," I said, wincing all
the way to the kitchen where I grabbed a bag of frozen pizza bites
from the freezer and applied them to my face.

"My point exactly. You lack any ability to be
clever or witty, yet you still manage to-"

"Piss you off? Well, don't worry about it too
much, the feeling is mutual. All I have to do is look at your
ridiculous little mustache and I'm pissed off."

"It's called a pencil mustache," Barty said,
nose in the air.

I wanted to say, it doesn't matter what it's
called it is still ridiculous, but instead I said, "Why don't you
know what the Olympian Trials are going to be? Riley said you're
called Trainer Extraordinaire because you've won it so many
times."

"No one knows-that is part of the challenge.
Every year a different god or goddess is in charge of the
competition. They set the tasks, seal them in a sacred urn, and
give the urn to Zeus, who has given an oath to protect it."

"What's to keep the originator of the tasks
from telling anyone?" I asked, sitting down at the kitchen
table.

"Zeus erases their memories of the
event."

"Zeus is creepy," I said.

Barty nodded his head. "This year the creator
of the tasks is Hermes."

"Hermes, the god of cunning? Maybe the tasks
will be more brains than brawn."

"He is also the god of thievery. Plus, as an
added bonus for you, he does not like Hades."

"Why?"

"Because, Hermes was the original
Psychopomp."

"He's psycho? All the gods seem a bit nutty
to me."

"Psychopomp means guide of souls. He was the
original Assassin before Hades changed the name and gave Hermes'
job to his own team of immortals. Hermes was not too happy about
his dismissal."

"Why did Hades replace him?"

"I do not know, but Zeus supported the
decision, so it must have been for a good reason," Barty said,
sitting down beside me at the dinner table. "The Olympian Challenge
is very important to the gods. Hades' champion has placed in the
top three since the first competition," he said.

"I assumed he placed me in the competition as
a punishment, but you're saying he usually wins. Do you think he
actually believes I’ll succeed?" I asked.

"No, you were accurate in your initial
assessment. He’s already started laying the ground work for the
heavy bets he will make on your dismemberment, decapitation and
incompletion of the first test."

"Wow."

"You must have really pissed him off to get
him to give up a chance of winning. I believe he thinks he can
counter the loss by winning on the heavy wagers he will place. You
are an unknown to most, so it will be assumed Hades has another
champion worthy of the competition."

"Well, whatever the competition throws at me,
at least I'm immortal and won't die."

Barty laughed, taking my bag of pizza bites
back to the freezer. "You think you are safe from the gods because
you are immortal. Hades is not the only one who can make you beg to
die."

"You don't have to be so happy about it," I
said, standing up, because sitting down while talking about me
being tortured just didn't seem right.

"To see someone else have to deal with you
will be a pleasure," he said, putting the piece of wood back on the
buckets. Then, out of nowhere, he had a pink metal baseball bat in
his hand.

"Now, let's see if you can keep your balance
while I swing this bat at you."

"This day just gets better and better," I
said.

Chapter 12: Butt Cheeks, Beer and
Brainwashed

I had taken a scorching hot
shower, rubbed Bengay on every muscle I could reach and was lying
on my stomach, stretched across the bed, naked. The plan was to
wait for the ceiling fan to work a miracle and dry the Bengay so I
didn't feel like I was covered in eucalyptus-scented lard.

"I would have to disagree with Mrs. Crowell's
assessment- you have a very nice bottom, not overly wide or plump
like she described," Riley said.

"Oh my gods!" I screamed, turning over and at
the same time, trying to grab my top sheet which actually resulted
in me grabbing for the sheet and missing, but rolling off the bed
in a body aching oomph. I quickly sat up, grabbed the towel that
was lying on the floor next to me and used it- and the fact that I
was hiding behind the bed- to cover myself.

Riley was standing in my doorway, laughing.
"Is that one of the moves Bartholomew's been teaching you?"

"You need a damn bell!" I yelled.

Riley just laughed harder.

"Listen, I know this is a really personal
question but, considering you were just ogling my ass, I need to
ask. Are you gay?"

"I would think it obvious that I'm not
exactly a joyous person." He smiled. "Though you seem to be
changing-"

"You know exactly what I'm asking-are you
sexually attracted to men?"

"No."

"Okay. One more question. Are you sexually
attracted to me?" I asked, hiding my face behind the bed because I
was afraid of his answer. Not that I knew what I wanted him to say,
I was scared either way.

"No, not sexually. I think you are attractive
and funny and I find myself looking forward to being around you,
but not once have I thought about having sex with you." He looked
puzzled. "Which is odd now that I've thought about it. It has to be
the familial bond. I guess I think of you as family, a niece, or
younger sister. Though, if you are in need of some fulfillment, we
could try-“

"No, no, no. I think of you as my friend and
having sex with you would just be wrong, wrong, wrong. Besides, I
don't have sex, it leads to no good."

Riley gave a slow thoughtful smile. "I can't
think of anything disparaging to say about sex. However, I will say
you'd be surprised how many deaths have occurred, and souls I've
collected as a result of it."

"That's not disparaging?"

Riley grinned. "Hell of a way to go."

I rolled my eyes. "Right, but you'll
understand when I say that it's highly inappropriate for you to pop
into my room and comment on my unclothed ass." I held my hand up,
halting his reply. "Although, as uncouth as your actions were, I
would like to take a second to thank you for the compliment. Mrs.
Crowell is on my shit list today, so it was nice to hear you
disagree with her, and, as an added bonus, the disagreement was
over my ass- it being nice, that is."

Riley laughed. "Anytime. I'll be happy to
compliment your breasts as well-"

I threw a pillow at him. "You're lucky I
don't shoot you."

Riley caught the pillow. "It was completely
innocent, I swear. I spent most of the day listening to Hades rant
and the rest trying to track down the owner of that damn phone. I
stopped by the gas station and ran into your landlady and the busty
blonde, discussing the width and fat content of your ass. I shifted
into the apartment, and there it was, the object of their twenty
minute discussion, on display for my perusal." He shrugged. "I
thought you might want to know that I disagreed with their
assessment. I didn't mean to upset you," he smiled again, "but I
won't lie and say I regretted it, or the roll-off-the-bed-and-hide
move that followed."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Myra falling on her ass is
a hoot. I'm so glad I've managed to entertain you, once again.
We'll chalk it up to bad timing, but next time I'm going for my
gun."

Riley laughed, "I can't wait."

Smartass. "You can leave my room now so I can
shower this crap off of me and get dressed. We could order a pizza
and watch a movie."

"Can't. The cell phone belongs to Sebastian's
girlfriend. She tends bar downtown, and I want to interview
her."

"Okay, get out, I'll shower off real quick
and go with you."

 

The thing about living out in the middle of
nowhere is that it's the middle of nowhere. It would take us at
least an hour and a half to get to midtown, so I decided that this
was the perfect opportunity to talk. I swerved a little as I turned
off the radio, having to hold back a smile when Riley grabbed the
oh shit bar.

"Pay attention to the road. You're a horrible
driver," he said.

"I'm not a bad driver. Look around you. This
is how all Atlanta drivers drive- impatient, careless and fast.
I'll have you know, I've never had an accident or a speeding
ticket."

"That's because you live in a town where you
could get somewhere faster by walking than driving the speed
limit."

"Why do you care anyway? It's not like you'll
die or something, we're indestructible."

"Immortality does not mean indestructible. If
you broke your bones they would heal, maybe a little quicker, but
the same as before.”

“That would explain why my ass still hurts
and is black and blue.”

“Are you opening up a discussion on your
ass?” he asked.

“No. Continue.”

“If you developed an incurable disease, such
as cancer or heart disease, becoming immortal would not change
this, because your body is still functioning as before. However,
instead of dying and ending any suffering, your body would
eventually produce new cells. Basically, you would outlive the
disease."

"So, if I have a stroke tomorrow and I am
paralyzed, I would be that way for as long as it took for my body
to regenerate and repair the damage?"

"Yes. It really doesn't take that long.
Because you are immortal, your cells would reproduce at an
accelerated rate."

Thinking of Hades’ bets, I asked, "What if I
was decapitated?"

"That would take longer. Total regeneration
takes a long time. If we had possession of your head though, and
attached it by any rudimentary means, it would greatly reduce the
regeneration time," he said.

"Why wouldn't you have my head?"

"They make good trophies."

I ignored the trophy comment. "I'm really
having issues figuring out what's so great about being immortal.
How is it a blessing?"

"Who said it was a blessing? We have
contracted ourselves into servitude to a god for eternity.
Immortality is only part of a uniform we wear in order to succeed
in our obligation.”

I switched lanes and went around the Toyota
Corolla that apparently didn't know that a speed limit of 55 really
meant 75. "Contracted obligation? I didn't sign any contract or
agree to any obligation."

Riley let go of the Oh shit bar and leaned
back in the seat. "No, you didn't. And maybe you don't actually
have to serve Hades, maybe your servitude will be added to my own-
I don't know. As I told you, I don't know how I brought your soul
back.”

"Tell me how it happened."

"When I found you, your body was still warm,
but your soul was not present. You will find- if you start
escorting souls- that a body most often holds an impression of its
death, especially if it is unexpected. Most of the time the
impression dissipates, though sometimes, if the death is violent or
extreme in any way, the impression lives on."

"Ghost," I said in my best creepy, scary
voice.

"I have never seen a ghost," Riley said.

"Yeah, but to you it wouldn't be a ghost,
would it?"

"Call it what you will, but it would still be
a replay of the body's demise, not a phantom, or spirit, moaning
and rattling its chains."

"Fine. Did you see the impression of my
death?"

"Yes, I saw how you died. I knew Sebastian
had to be responsible. I was angry and ashamed that someone I knew,
liked and once respected would take an innocent life. Before I had
even completed the thought, I heard the Fates' voices whispering in
my head and felt power surge through me.

“As an immortal, I have my own power. I am
stronger and quicker than any mortal could be, but this power was
more immense than I could have possessed. I assumed it was Hades’
power. Within minutes of the return of your soul, Hades summoned me
with an acknowledgement to bring you along, taking responsibility
for you, something I don’t think he would have done if it weren’t a
necessity. Both actions solidified my assumption that you would
spend your immortality in service to Hades.

“I realize you don't have a formal agreement,
but I'm not sure if any of the other Assassins made agreements with
Hades either. We are, for the most part, a solitary group but even
when we are around one another, the way we came into servitude is
not discussed."

"I don't like feeling that I have no control
of my life," I said.

Riley laughed bitterly. "It's not a feeling,
it's reality. All we can do is make the best of it, lie low, serve
well and hope that our actions will one day be rewarded."

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