Fated to be Mine (6 page)

After putting my things away, I sit back at my desk and open my meager lunch. I know this is way more food than I’ll ever eat but hey, I'm ambitious today. Now that I’ve stopped moving, my mind focuses on Andrew’s text messages again while I stab away at my salad. It’s all so confusing. I drop the fork and cradle my head in my hands, propping my elbows on top of my desk. I feel a headache coming on.

Andrew says he misses me, yet he couldn’t stop talking to another woman while I was still in his bed. Well, not literally in his bed but you know what I mean. My stomach growls and I take a few more bites of my lunch, discarding half of the contents into the garbage. My stomach is too upset to eat right now.

After an hour of diving head first into my afternoon assignments, a faint knock pulls me out of my thoughts. I turn and find Chris perching himself on the corner of my desk.

“Tessa, hey, how are you?”

What is it about the corner of my desk that invites everyone to sit there? Not that there’s any other option in my tiny space. It’s not exactly like I have an extra chair or anything like that.

“I’m good, thanks. How’s everything coming with the Tree of Life Foundation?” My hands fall into my lap, clasping them tightly together so I don’t continually run them through my hair or twist my fingers together. Just the mention of the Foundation brings Andrew back to my thoughts, causing my heart to accelerate, as well as my breathing. It’s amazing that he can still affect me this way even after three days apart.

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. If you could join me in Kara’s office for a moment, I’d appreciate it.”

His tone has switched to all business, the light and friendly voice he usually uses with me now gone. Did I screw something up? Maybe the other executives caught wind of my tryst with Andrew and they’re unhappy about it, wanting me to resign my position with the company for fear of backlash. I swallow harshly and nod, following him into Kara’s office.

Kara glances up from her desk, still eating the lunch I brought her. The soft click of the door closing next to me causes another wave of nerves to flow through my bloodstream. A closed door is never a good sign. What if this is about the phone call I walked in on earlier? Maybe Kara didn’t say anything because it directly affected me. Oh crap, I’m going to be fired. In a nervous twitch, my leg begins bouncing in place. Kara regards me with curious eyes and her hands folded neatly in front of her.

“Tessa, relax. It’s not bad, I promise.”

It’s only then I realize both her and Chris are beaming brightly at me. My eyes dart from one to the other, giving them each a perplexed look.

“Um, okay. Am I in trouble? Did I screw something up in one of the contracts?” There’s a slight tremble in my voice as I quietly speak to them. Chris’s eyes soften, realizing how paranoid I am right now and places a friendly hand on my shoulder, instantly relaxing me.

“No, the contracts were excellent. Everything about them was fantastic. The other executives were really amazed at how fast you were able to draw them up and put everything we needed in there.”

They were talking about me this morning? Me? A lowly secretary? Okay, admin assistant but I’m not going to correct myself. I reserve that only for my dad and Sharon in regards to my profession. Chris clears his throat and steeples his fingers beneath his chin on his propped up elbows.

“So during our meeting this morning we were informed that because of our growing clientele, and now with this giant project, we will need to add another junior account executive.”

My stomach flutters with the wings of thousands of butterflies. An out of body experience starts to take over as I concentrate on what he’s saying. Could he really be talking about what I think he is? I glance over at Kara and she’s beaming.

“Yep, so I put in my recommendation to promote internally and you were the first person that came to mind. In these past four years, you have more than proven you can handle the stress and know the ins and outs of the game. You’ve drawn up every contract for me, attended almost every single meeting, and know how to close the deal. You were the obvious choice for the position in my mind. And apparently the rest of the executives agreed with me.”

Shock. That’s what I’m in. My fingers feel cold and numb. My hands can’t stop shaking. Is she actually saying this to me? Did I choke on my food at my desk and now am having one of those ‘what if’ moments? I clear my throat and tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

“Really? You think I’m ready for that? But I don’t have a marketing degree or any sort of business degree.”

Chris shakes his head. “You have something better. You have experience. A degree means nothing if you’ve never actually worked in the field. You’ve put in your time, learned the tricks of the trade and excelled at everything you do. So on behalf of myself and the other executives, I am offering you, Tessa Martin, the position of junior account executive. What do you say?”

I blink back at him a few times, allowing my brain to catch up. I can’t believe it. I never thought my hard work would ever be noticed. Not that I was doing it to bring attention to myself. It’s my job and I just wanted to make sure I did it well.

Kara tilts her head slightly and waves a hand in front of my face as I stare at a spot over her shoulder.

“Tessa? Hello? What do you say?”

Coming back into myself, I can’t help the ear-splitting grin. “Yes. I say yes.”

Chris pats me on the shoulder and shakes my hand while Kara jumps out of her chair and rounds her desk to engulf me in a giant hug.

“Congratulations, Chickie! I knew you’d move up the corporate ladder soon.” She gives me one more death squeeze before releasing me to Chris, who hugs me as well.

“We’re all very proud of the work you do and are very excited to see you move into this position. We know you will exceed our every expectation.”

A lone tear trickles down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away. The amount of love and support that my two dear friends are giving me is overwhelming. I’ve never had confidence in my abilities or myself for that matter. But these two have never faltered in their opinion of me, never once treating me as if I was a lesser person. Instead, I was their equal.

It’s just all too much.

“I don’t know what to say. Just, wow. I never thought this would happen to me. Thank you so much for this opportunity. I’ll do my best not to let you down.”

Kara waves her hand in front of her face, dismissing my comment. “As if you could let us down. We know you all too well, remember? But now we have something to celebrate tonight. Dinner at Capital Grille?”

I nod my head and smile again. “Sounds good to me.”

Kara leans up, stealing a kiss from Chris before they have to go back to hiding their relationship. “Okay, you need to go now. I have to talk to Tessa for a bit without an abundance of testosterone in the air.”

Chris leans over, looking as if he’s going to whisper something in her ear. Instead, he reaches around and pinches Kara’s ass, causing her to yelp in a mixture of surprise and pain.

“Watch it, little girl, or you may get worse than that later tonight.” His lips curl up into a wickedly teasing smile. Kara matches his smile and I prepare myself in case World War III decides to appear.

“Promises, promises. Seriously, get out. Highly important things need to be discussed without you.”

“Girl talk?” he says, cocking his head to the side.

“Go!” she half whispers, half yells. He laughs and takes her mouth again, leaving her a mess as he walks back to his office. Kara regains her composure and rounds the desk, sliding back into her high leather chair.

“I didn’t get the chance to thank you for lunch earlier. It was exactly what I needed.” She picks up another forkful and shoves it in her mouth.

I shrug, playing it off as nothing. “Once I saw you were still stuck in that meeting I figured you’d be ready for lunch when you got out. Besides,” I pause, thinking about whether or not I want to tell her about my lunch escapade. “I didn’t even buy it for you.”

Kara raises her head, tilting it to the side. “No? Who did then?”

“Well, there’s a story behind that. You’ll laugh about it I’m sure.”

I go into the whole embarrassing story, not leaving any part out. She sits there, almost stoic and listens as I talk about Michael and the coincidence that he works in this building. The smile on her face slips slightly.

“Tell me more about this Michael guy.”

I shrug my shoulders. “He’s nice, good looking, and kind. I guess I never really gave any thought to it. He’s just a stranger, well, acquaintance now I suppose.”

There’s a tapping noise echoing through the quiet office and I realize it’s coming from Kara. She only taps her pen when she’s deep in thought, but I can’t figure out what it is about my story that has her mind in overdrive.

“Have you heard from Andrew today?” she asks.

And there’s the reason for her curiosity of Michael. My face is indifferent as I nod my head, unsure of how I feel about hearing from him today. Part of me is elated. The other part of me is scared and upset.

“He sent me a few text messages. There’s really nothing more to say to him, especially since I won’t be working on the account anymore. So we have no chance or need to ever see each other again.”

Kara leans over the desk and holds me in a stare. “But you want to.”

Images of Andrew assault my mind as I picture his beautiful face and body, smiling and laughing as we walk the streets of London. My most favorite memory of that trip. Well, one of them.

“I do, but I don’t.”

“Do you love him?”

I sigh. “What does it matter? What’s done is done. I’m here, he’s over there. A relationship between the two of us is impossible, regardless of what I may or may not be currently feeling for him.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it. I can see it written all over your face. You try your best to hide it, but you fail miserably every time. You are head over heels in love with that man and nothing should ever stand in your way. If you’ve found love, then you need to grab hold of it with two hands and don’t let anyone or anything take it away from you.”

Kara should know. Her love for Chris is one she has to hide, but it doesn’t stop them from being together. I don’t want a relationship like that. I don’t want to hide in the shadows and steal time to be with him. I want a relationship that’s out in the open, where we can go anywhere and do anything anytime we wanted. But if Andrew is there and I am here it’s impossible.

“Look, no offense, but I’m still not quite ready to dive into what if situations where Andrew is involved.” I stand and turn toward the door. A look of sadness crosses Kara’s face as she nods her head dejectedly.

“Oh, by the way, my dad is throwing a birthday party for Sharon on Friday night at the Millennium. Will you come with me as my guest? You know I hate going to these things alone.” She checks her calendar and then nods her head.

“I’ve got Friday free and clear so it shouldn’t be a problem. Formal affair again I’m assuming?” Kara knows from the last party she went to that my dad goes all out for Sharon because it’s what she expects.

I nod my head and sigh. “Yeah, he’s making Natasha set up an appointment at some boutique to get me clothes, you know, so I don’t embarrass him further.”

Kara shakes her head. “Your dad frustrates me sometimes.”

I stand in the doorway and sadly laugh. “Try being his daughter.” I wave to her as I walk back to my desk.

My head is swimming at everything that’s happened over the course of the day so far. A new position, an embarrassing meeting with a random stranger, and then Andrew finally making contact with me. The last little bit has me reaching for my phone, anxious to see if he’s messaged back, even though I have yet to reply to his last two messages.

Tessa, please. I miss you and I need to speak with you. Just give me five minutes of your time. ~A~

This is exhausting, fighting my feelings for him. I want to reach through my phone and hold him, kiss him, feel his body touching mine. This last message seems sad, tortured even. And I love him too much to hurt him further. But Andrew must understand it just wouldn’t work. There are too many things stacked against us, the largest being our jobs. Still, I find myself texting him back, unable to resist his pull any longer.

Andrew, it’s not going to work. We’re from two different worlds. You don’t need to explain anything to me. Really. We had fun and I’ll cherish those memories forever. ~T~

A part of me wants to slap myself for not going to him while the other part is striving for self-preservation. I can’t live in my dreams, knowing they’ll never come true. But there has to be a purpose to all of this. Why would he be pursuing me, knowing it’s an impossible dream?

Within minutes, my phone beeps in response.

Apparently I do need to explain. I believe there has been a misunderstanding and it must be rectified. There is something between us Tessa and you know it. Please don’t shut me out yet. ~A~

There is something between us. I cannot deny that, even though I try. My mind cannot let go of our time spent together because it truly was the happiest time of my life. The way Andrew would touch me, hold me, make love to me … all of it. No one has ever looked at me with such adoration before. No one has made me their world in that short a time. It still seems impossible all this transpired over the course of a week. Such an insignificant amount of time. A blink of an eye in the grand scheme of life. But that one week changed my life and I know it’s largely in part to the man whose heart I’m breaking.

Andrew, there’s nothing to explain. This is hard enough as it is. It’s just not going to work. You’ll find someone else and move on, someone who lives in London and can see you every day and give you more than I ever could. I just want you to be happy. ~T~

I won’t survive without you and no one will ever take your place. You are the one who makes me happy. I am not done with you. I told you, I am yours and you are mine. ~A~

I read the text over and over again, slowly letting the words seep back into my shattered heart. I remember him saying those words to me before. Words which hold so much hope for a future that still hangs right in front of my eyes. Could we actually work? Is it possible?