Fate Is A Stranger: Regency Romance (6 page)

"Yes, I do. "

"Think this through, Papa! Is it really your wish for me to wed him?"

"It is. I know that you may hold a fancy for Hawkinston, for I have seen you glancing at him and I do not fault you for it, my dear. He holds sway with powerful people and he is extremely powerful himself. This can be very attractive to a young girl like you who has known great hardship. But I believe I am in a better position to judge what is best for you, my dear, and your marriage to Jared would indeed give your life a safety and stability that would be of great value. I cannot believe the duke has any such intentions toward you and instead, his interest in you alarms me for men such as he do not rest until they achieve their aim.

"A marriage to Jared would put a stop to this and it would make me extremely happy to know you are safe should anything happen to me. I cannot live forever, my sweet, and although you and your mother and Calvin will be well provided for after my demise, I still would like the protection of a well-connected husband to secure your future."

"I had not known how strongly you feel about this, Papa," said Violet as she looked intently at her father. "I will from now on consider Jared a serious suitor and stop seeing him as a young man whom I should not encourage."

"Thank you, my dear. You have made me very happy with such a resolution. In any case, I will return to London with you and your mother, at the very least, and will talk again with him. I believe we should encourage his visits to the house and the advance of his suit."

"Yes, Papa," said Violet, and wondered why a sudden sadness seemed to envelope her. She had been blinding herself to the fact that the duke saw her only as a future mistress. Perhaps deep inside she had been clinging to an unreasonable hope. Her father saw it clearly, though, and he had put it into words for her.

"I hope you resolve your business up north quickly, Papa, so that you can return to the castle before the house party is over," she said, for she wanted very much to move the subject away from herself. She needed the calm and quiet of her bedroom to think about her father's words.

"I’m worried about Mama's cold, but she insists we must go to the house party at the castle. I have changed my mind about attending and have told her so, for she is not well enough for balls. Yet she insists we will never have such an opportunity again."

"We both made the decision to attend, my dear, because it’s in your best interest. Your mama's cold is light and she will soon be out of it. I hope in the next two or three days she will be able to partake of the party."

"I am sorry Lord and Lady Arandale will not be able to attend," said Violet, "I would so much have loved seeing them there, at this soiree."

"Yes. Lady Arandale is shortly to be confined, my dear, so it is advisable that she not venture too far from home. It will be a happy occasion, the birth of their second child."

"I hope it is a girl," said Violet, "Since they have already secured their heir with little Justin."

"Yes, I hope so too, Violet. I have just told your mother that Lady Arandale has decided that if the child is a girl she will be named after you."

"Really! Oh, that’s wonderful. I’m honored, Papa. When did you learn of this?"

"It was not she who told me, it was Arandale himself who did, yesterday, when I ran into him in Parliament. It was his last session, too, for he leaves London tomorrow, to reunite with Lady Arandale in his country estate."

"That has certainly made me happy today, Papa, thank you for telling me. What a rare feeling it is to have a child named after you. I have never had the occasion to experience that. It seems new and wonderful. It somehow feels like you would be responsible for that child, in a way."

"Violet, my dear, you deserve that and more," said Lord Kelly. "The earl and countess are indeed aware of how you saved Lady Arandale from a horrible fate."

"I hardly even remember making the decision to do so, Papa, nor of coming to this house in the middle of the night! Those days are hazy in my mind, for a lot happened in a very short amount of time."

"But they are not hazy in other people's minds, my dear, and they are ever aware of it. It took a great deal of bravery for you to do what you did."

"I am glad they are happy." Violet wished she could obtain half their happiness, then she would be happy indeed.

"You secured the happiness of several people with your brave actions, my sweet Violet, for I cannot imagine now a life without you and your mother."

And just at that moment, a maid came in to announce that the Duke of Hawkinston had come to call on Miss Durbin.

CHAPTER 6

"Well, now, and speaking of the devil," said Lord Kelly with a laugh. "As I said, my dear, the duke has an eye on you, and that is why he opposes his nephew's suit. Be wary in his company. You will promise me that?"

"Papa, is it your wish that I don’t spend any time with the duke?"

"You are a level-headed young woman, my dear, and I trust you to comport yourself with dignity in the duke's presence. It wouldn’t be in your best interest for me to forbid you to see him socially, as he is Jared's uncle and guardian. Just be very careful.”

"Yes, Papa."

"That does not preclude enjoying yourself in public with him, my dear. Just so long as…”

"Just so long as I am not alone with him, Papa," finished Violet. "But don’t fear, I go out of my way to prevent such an occasion. But a ride in the park, as I believe his reason for calling here to be, may be enjoyed for its own sake and for nothing more."

"I have every faith in you, my dear. I have seldom seen a more sensible girl than you. You remind me very much of my mother."

"Thank you Papa. I hope I may honor her memory."

"You do, my dear; you do. And now, go on and enjoy your drive in the park. It is a beautiful afternoon."

"Miss Durbin," said the duke, as Violet went down the stairs, "I hope you may be free for a ride in the park."

"I am, your grace."

"I could not wait to see you again only until you arrived at the castle, for that is still some time away," he said as he maneuvered his grays out toward the park. "Do you drive all men senseless or just me?"

"Just you," said Violet.

But inside the carriage, sitting close to Hawk in the narrow seat of his high phaeton, Violet had to struggle to keep control of
her
own senses.

Their legs were dangerously close and just the thought that only an inch separated them sent a delicious shiver throughout her leg all the way to her toes. So concentrated she was on this that she didn't hear what he was saying.

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid I was distracted, your grace, what did you say?"

"I said that you may struggle and fight all you want, but I give you fair warning that I always get what I want."

"Yes, I imagine you do," said Violet and realizing that rounding a curb had eliminated the precarious inch that had existed between their legs she tried to squeeze against the side of the carriage in order to not touch the duke's knee.

They had reached Green Park and at this hour it was deserted.

The duke went around the drive and after a few minutes in silence they reached a small arbor. There was a small family picnicking in the distance but so far away as to be only specks. The duke halted his horses and turned toward Violet.

"Miss Durbin, I headed toward this secluded area of the park because I wanted to be at a place where we can have a few minutes alone. I know that you have an unfortunate opinion of me and it may be that first impressions are sometimes erroneous."

"May we get down?" asked Violet.

"Certainly. Let me help you."

They found a bench under a shade tree.

"It's a beautiful day," said Violet, "and fragrant, too. I love the spring."

"Yes, I do too," said the duke. "Once we are at Cynweir I will show you many places where spring runs riot. I’m certain you will fall in love with it. There are woods and arbors and springs and hillsides and ruins. It is a place of enchantment."

"I agree I may fall in love with such a place as you describe," said Violet.

"You were saying in the carriage, sir, that I had a wrong idea of you. Please explain if I misinterpreted in any way your proposition. Did you not ask if I would accede to be your mistress? Did I in any way misinterpret those words?"

"Well, no," said the duke, turning away. Violet realized that for the first time in their slight acquaintance, he seemed to be embarrassed by his own words.

"What I meant is that I was afraid you thought that what I proposed to you would be a temporary arrangement. I wanted to assure you that it would not be. My feelings for you run very deep, Miss Durbin—may I call you Violet?"

"You may not."

"You are very unbending when you make up your mind about something, Miss Durbin. I notice that you allow my nephew to call you by your given name. Why is that?"

"I consider Jared a friend, your grace, and however he may think of himself as a suitor, I do not think of him as such—for now."

"For now? Do you mean to say you may consider Jared a suitor in the future?"

"I don’t wish to discuss Jared, your grace."

"Very well," said the duke, "then why do you not consider
me
a friend and allow me the use of your name?"

"Because I don’t believe a man who has asked me to be his mistress can ever be my friend."

"You do know how to twist things around, Miss Durbin. As I was in the process of assuring you, my feelings for you run very deep. It would not be a temporary arrangement, as you seem to feel it would be."

The duke stood up and Violet stood up also for she did not like him to be towering over her. But she did not move back when he moved closer to her, so close now that there was hardly an inch between them and Violet felt the warmth emanating from his chest. They were within a copse of trees that gave them a privacy that was dangerous to her.

She felt as if in a hypnotic trance, drawn to the intense look in his green eyes as he eliminated the small space between them and she was suddenly inside his arms.

A joyful tremor ran through her body and she wondered if her chin was trembling. She was barely able to note the expression in his eyes before she felt his lips on her, softly, caressingly, while his hand, without the slightest warning cupped her left breast. Not over the fabric of her dress but inside her bodice, for his hand had reached inside her gown.

The movement was so unexpected that Violet sucked in her breath, She had at first felt surprise but after a delicious wave of pleasure shot through her, her hand unconsciously covered his, but only for the fraction of a second for his kiss now became so absorbing that she felt as if she were being taken to a warm secret place by his kiss alone. She wanted more and more of it and she felt it now from her breasts to down below her waist where a sensual awareness pooled. Then suddenly the image of her father and words he had pronounced just minutes before rushed on her.

She pushed the duke away and stepped back from him, feeling that her face was in flames.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice husky.

"Everything about this is wrong,
everything
. Let’s return to the carriage at once."

"But—I cannot comprehend what has disturbed you, my dear…"

"Please don’t call me 'my dear,' your grace," she replied, walking quickly away from him before her feelings could trick her again as they had done before.

"Stop," said the duke. "Please, Vio—Miss Durbin, just a word."

"Very well, a word," said Violet, her face pale and expressionless.

"I believe you are upsetting yourself needlessly. If you believe this incident has made me think less of you, you are completely wrong. My feelings for you go very deep and I would like very much that an agreement as to an arrangement between us be reached before we leave the park. And I do not mean a temporary arrangement, Miss Durbin, if that is your fear."  

"Whether it’s an arrangement that’s temporary or for the long run, it is still an 'arrangement,' sir, and my answer is still no."

Violet felt her hands tremble as she looked at them. What was she thinking? Why had she allowed the duke to get to this point? Well, she had to admit that she had expected only a kiss and he had moved at breakneck speed. Her breasts still felt tingly, as though his fingers were still caressing them. It was most upsetting.

"I can’t understand why you have such scruples when your mother
was—"

"When my mother was a courtesan?"

"I only meant that my request can’t be such a surprise. That is, Miss Durbin—"

"That is, that you realized that what you were going to say would not sit well with me. Is that why you stopped yourself from saying it?" Violet felt strength course through her veins again. Her hands stopped shaking.

"No."

"You believe that because my mother was a courtesan, I should be one too. Is that not your line of thought?"

"No…"

“I was forced into sexual slavery at the age of fourteen, your grace. I believe that in circles not as exalted as yours, that crime is called
rape
.”

"And now, I wish to return home."

"Please, let’s not part in this manner, Miss Durbin. I am just not good with words."

"I had no trouble interpreting you."

"I assure you the last thing I want is to hurt your feelings. I just have trouble conveying the great regard I have for you. I was certain that you had not understood the depth of my feelings for you. Can I believe you now understand that I have fallen in love with you and must arrange that we be together?"

"I believe that’s your understanding of it. However, you seem not to understand
my
view concerning your wishes, your grace."

"Will you reconsider now that I have explained?"

"Reconsider accepting your offer? That is, your offer of
carte blanche
?"

"Yes, my dear."

"How many times must I reject your offer before you are convinced that I am in earnest? I believe I will say it again, in case you did not hear me well:
I do not accept your offer
. There, does that answer your question? It will not change,
ever
. My answer will be the same next week, next month and next year as it is today. And perhaps you will be convinced enough by it to cast your wares before a more willing purchaser."

And when the duke only stared at her, she added, emphasizing each word clearly: "And please don’t call me 'my dear', ever again. Should this request be breached I am afraid I will decline being in your company again. Are my words clear enough, your grace, or is further interpretation needed?"

"They are clear enough, Miss Durbin," he said curtly.

Most probably the Duke of Hawkinston had never been rejected in his life and had trouble dealing with it. Violet would have told him then that she would not attend his house party at Cynweir Castle, for his words to her had been insulting. His actions too, had been degrading. He would not have rushed head on in the way he had done had she belonged to society. She was to blame too, for succumbing initially but she could allow that she was extremely attracted to him and he had taken her by surprise.

She really would like nothing better than to toss his invitation at his head in response to the way he had treated her, like a common strumpet, which was exactly how he thought of her, no matter his professions of love. Lust disguised as love was what it was.

But then she realized that the soiree at the castle would help restore her father to his class. She would not allow the duke's obsessive pursuit of her prevent her from helping her father regain his status in society.

Besides, she was getting adept at rejecting his "delicate" propositions, so that they did not affect her as they had the first time. Granted, that because she had allowed herself to respond so passionately to his lovemaking, she would now be more vulnerable than ever and it would be even harder to stay away from him.

"I wish to return now, your grace," she said.

"Very well Miss Durbin."

In the carriage, after maneuvering his horses out of a difficult enclave, the duke turned once more to her. Violet pressed herself against the side of the carriage. She would not allow either her arm or her leg to press against him again.

"I would like to apologize, Miss Durbin," he said.

"Apology accepted," said Violet.

She was certain this would not be the last time the duke talked about his offer to her, however many apologies she received on the subject in the future. He was insensitive to the point of arrogance, yet there it was, she could not easily remove him from her mind, her heart and increasingly her very soul. What a wasted life hers would be without those moss-green eyes looking down mockingly at her. Yet succumbing was a dark tunnel she would not enter, no matter the promise of a beckoning passion.

They talked of other things and on the way back to her home the duke talked of Cynweir Castle and through his words the castle came to life for Violet.

He told her how the sun's light slanted through arbors in the dense foliage and bathed beds of wildflowers with silvery rays. How both sunrise and sunset were different heady experiences each time and sometimes almost too much beauty to bear.

"Just as you sometimes are Miss Durbin," he added, "unbearable beauty."

"Do go on about the arbors," she said. "You convey much with words."

He had a faraway look in his eyes as he recalled the wonderland of snow and ice the woods became in the winter and he talked of riding over meadows fragrant with the scent of new grass after the snow had melted and spring had broken through. He talked of bluebirds and thistle and bracken and the warm rays of the sun making the earth and the new grass fragrant.