Fastball (6 page)

“Very close,” she said in a clipped voice.
“But we’re not here to talk about
my
life, right? Why don’t
we get back on track?”

“Okay.” He didn’t know whether to feel
frustrated or relieved. Their conversation had veered into
difficult territory, and he sure as hell didn’t feel equipped to
deal with all that emotion. But she fascinated him, and he found
himself wanting to know more about her—and not just between the
sheets, either.

Plus, if they were talking about her, they
weren’t talking about him. That was one of the reasons he hated
interviews. It seemed impossible to say anything about himself
without sounding like a celebrity athlete with a swelled head, or
some kind of heartland farmer boy parody.

Maddie straightened in her chair, all
business now. “Jake, it seems pretty clear from what you just said
a few moments ago that you haven’t been very lucky in love. I
understand you were married once, though, for a brief time.”

Shit.
What in God’s name had led him
to make those pronouncements about love? He’d opened the door and
let her walk right into that one. Still, maybe he could turn it to
his advantage, using
his
life as an excuse to pry into hers.
Getting Maddie to let down her guard might happen more easily if he
shared at least some of the gory details of his love life, even
though he still hated even thinking about his failed marriage.

He shrugged, going for casual. “It seems like
a whole other life now. I got married at nineteen to my high school
sweetheart. Prom queen marries school jock hero. It’s a cliché,
sure, but the whole town was pretty excited about it. Jennie was a
great girl, and we were crazy in love and hot for each other in
every way you can imagine.” He shot her a wry grin. “Dumb,
huh?”

An intriguing blush crept over Maddie’s
cheeks. “I don’t know. It sounds very romantic to me.”

Again, her slender fingers played with the
buttons on her recorder. Obviously, even veiled references to his
sex life made her fidget. Jake was beginning to suspect that
despite her bombshell looks, Maddie was less experienced when it
came to sex than he’d originally assumed. He had to admit that
intrigued him, too.

“Romantic, yeah. Everyone else thought that
at the time, too,” he replied dryly. “Except for my mother. She
knew it was stupid, but she figured I’d have to make my own
mistakes. Anyway, right after high school I got drafted and sent to
play Rookie League ball in the South, and Jennie and I missed each
other like hell. So, at the end of my first pro season we decided
to get married.” He shook his head. All these years later, he still
couldn’t believe how clueless he’d been. “But it lasted less than
two years. Can you imagine how weird it felt to have your marriage
already on the scrap heap at twenty-one?”

Maddie tilted her head, as if really weighing
the question. He liked that about her. Liked that she took things
so seriously.

“Not really,” she finally said in a
thoughtful voice.

“Be glad you never had to find out. The
problem was that Jennie couldn’t hack being married to a minor
league ballplayer. You know what that’s like. Your husband’s always
at the park, or away riding some bus with the team. I couldn’t
really blame her for how she reacted, but her unhappiness made me
unhappy, too. The atmosphere at home made it impossible for me to
concentrate on improving my game. If we’d gone on that way, I might
never have made the majors, and she’d probably have stayed
miserable. So, splitting up turned out to be best for both of us in
the end.”

He’d gotten over it—mostly. But he still
couldn’t repress a twinge of resentment that his ex hadn’t been
able to take the long view of things and support him when he was
trying to get ahead for both their sakes.

She nodded sympathetically. “Life in the
minors has to be tough for everyone. In your case, it sounds like
one of those situations where it’s not really anybody’s fault. Your
wife obviously didn’t understand what she was getting into.
Besides, you were both so young. Babies, really.”

Maddie Leclair would have stuck it out, he’d
be willing to bet. If Jennie had only been more like her…
Christ,
Miller. Get a grip. You just met the woman.

Mentally shrugging off his bizarre reaction,
he tried to get back to the conversation. “Actually, it was mostly
my fault, at least when I married her. I should have tried harder
to make sure she really understood what she was getting into.”

Maddie frowned, staring down at the table.
“Sometimes people just don’t appreciate what’s right in front of
them. I’m sure you did everything you could.”

She seemed like she wanted to say something
more, but then quickly shifted gears. “But what about all the years
since the marriage ended, Jake? You’ve been linked to a few women
since then, and you’re one of the most admired single men in
baseball, maybe even all of sports. So, why do you think Ms. Right
hasn’t come along yet?”

She finally lifted her eyes to meet his, that
faint blush once again coloring her cheeks. She looked so damn cute
and unsure of herself—despite her attempt to be all business—that
he thought it would be a miracle if he could keep his hands off her
much longer.

Jake responded to her question with a lame,
evasive answer about his career coming first, and not wanting to
get distracted by all the crap that came with dating a celebrity
athlete. The reality, of course, was that he’d been spooked by his
failed marriage and had no intention of risking a repeat any time
soon. Fortunately, before she could prod him for more details, the
waiter arrived with their food and Maddie switched off the
recorder.

As they ate, with the waiter replenishing
their wine glasses on a regular basis, they fell into an easy,
comfortable chat about the Padres series and the team’s upcoming
trip to Phoenix. When Jake finished his meal ahead of her, and even
though she’d eaten only half her food, Maddie asked if he was ready
to resume the interview.

“Sure,” he said, convinced the hard part was
over. Maybe he’d even turn the tables on Maddie and quiz her about
her personal life.

“Great,” she said. “I want to get back your
love life. You were evading my question a while ago, weren’t
you?”

Jake repressed a sigh. He should have known
she wouldn’t let him get away that easy. Maddie was way too smart
and perceptive to be fooled by standard interview crap. “You mean,
why my love life is such a failure?” he asked in a wry tone.

He said it lightly, but he wanted to make it
clear that the topic wasn’t something he liked to talk about.

She furrowed her brow. “You know I didn’t say
that, Jake.”

She wasn’t backing down.

“Okay, Maddie. Here’s the truth. A lot of the
guys in the game avoid marriage like it’s a jail sentence—like they
could never handle not being able to hook up with whatever babe
happens to be hanging around the team at the moment. It’s an
incredible temptation, and I totally understand that. Most of the
players are young and having the time of their lives. Why should
they lock themselves into marriage when they can have their pick of
the field?”

Her features tightened with disdain, and
something else, too. Disappointment, it looked like, disappointment
in him. Clearly, that wasn’t the answer she wanted to hear.

Jake smiled, drawing the moment out. “But
that’s not me, Maddie. I’m in my thirties now, and still not in any
kind of permanent relationship. But it’s not because I want the
single life forever. And I don’t like the way some of the guys
treat women—like they’re some kind of commodity to be used once or
twice and thrown away.”

That sounded sanctimonious to his ears, but
it was true. He understood about the younger players sowing their
wild oats, and most of them weren’t mature enough to handle
marriage anyway. But some of the guys were just plain bastards when
it came to women.

Maddie’s approving smile lit up her face.
“Sounds to me like you’re not commitment-phobic.”

He sensed she wasn’t just asking for the sake
of the interview. No, her response to his answers carried a note of
intense curiosity, even though she might not be aware of it.

“I’m open to commitment. If and when it’s
right,” he said. “I’ve been with my share of women. A few
relationships lasted a while, most didn’t. Sometimes I was the one
who ended it, sometimes she did.” He gave a little shrug.
“Sometimes you’re the windshield, sometimes you’re the bug.”

She laughed. He liked the sound of it. It was
warm and genuine, and damn sexy.

“I can’t imagine you as the bug,” she
said.

“Sure you can. It happens to all of us. But
not once since my married years have I felt like I wanted to spend
the rest of my life with the person in question. Because that’s
what I think marriage has to be—forever. I don’t want to experiment
with marriage. I tried that once, and once was more than
enough.”

She blinked, as if he’d startled her, but
remained silent. He was beginning to wonder if that was her
interviewing technique. It was pretty effective, at least on him.
And he suspected that only complete honesty on his part would allay
her doubts and convince her to trust him. Maddie obviously had a
fairly powerful bullshit detector to go along with what he sensed
was an ingrained tendency to protect herself.

“It’s hard to put into words,” he continued
in a quiet voice. “But I’m pretty sure that if and when I meet that
person, I’ll know she’s the one. I’ll know she’s the woman I want
by my side for the rest of my life.”

Maddie’s gaze locked with his, focused and
intense.

“And I
will
ask that woman to marry
me,” he added, tapping his finger on the table for emphasis. “But
unless that feeling comes, I’m not going to pretend that any
relationship is more than a passing thing.”

* * *

Silence dropped between them as Maddie’s
dazzled brain scrambled to respond to Jake’s pronouncement. The
interview was confirming everything she’d already sensed about him.
Jake Miller was most definitely not your average sex-god athlete,
shallow as a kiddie pool. He was a complicated man and that fact,
combined with his overpowering masculinity and easy charm, made him
dangerously appealing. Her emotions had been see-sawing before
she’d even arrived at the restaurant, and the last few hours had
tilted them like a pinball machine. Jake was shaping up to be the
most interesting, attractive man she’d met in—well, forever, and
she hadn’t a clue how to deal with it. She was torn between feeling
completely out of her depth and being wildly excited about scooping
such a fantastic interview with one of baseball’s biggest stars.
Jake Miller had
never
given an interview like this.

He studied her calmly as she chewed on her
lower lip, trying to figure out what to ask next.
Be a pro,
Maddie. Go for it.

She resisted the impulse to suck in a nervous
breath. “That’s certainly forthcoming of you, Jake. Let me take
this one more step. Do you believe that when it happens for you, it
will be love at first sight? Or does the feeling you’re talking
about take time to grow? And how exactly will you know?”

She held herself calm and still, ignoring the
trickle of perspiration snaking its way down her spine.

His brows arched with evident amusement. “I
do believe there can be some kind of love at first sight. You know
how physical bodies can powerfully interact with each other? Like
the earth and the moon, an attraction so strong that it pulls the
oceans back and forth every day. Or like two chemicals in a
container, exploding spontaneously if the conditions are right. I
guess if those kinds of interactions can occur in nature, then why
can’t two people have a powerful pull on each other that they can’t
entirely explain?”

Jake unleashed one of his trademark smiles,
one so seductively compelling that Maddie’s brain crashed into a
mini-meltdown.

“Ah, why not indeed?” she answered
lamely.

His eyes laughed back at her. “People use the
word
chemistry
all the time, and it does make sense to me.
Chemistry is more than just a physical attraction. Chemistry can be
the attraction of spirits—or souls—too.”

He gave her a sheepish, self-conscious smile
as he finished, as if this wasn’t the kind of thing a big, tough
ballplayer was supposed to be saying to a woman. But that made him
even more appealing, and her stupid heart started thumping
erratically.

Yep, Maddie believed in chemistry, all right.
There was enough chemical reaction going on between them right now
to blow up the world’s biggest science lab.

But it was all getting too intense, too out
of her control. And she hated feeling out of control, despite the
mischievous little voice in her head whispering that Jake might be
worth it. But she had already taken plenty of risks agreeing to the
interview in the first place, and that fact in itself shot her
alarm gauges into the red zone. Slowly but surely, she was inching
toward a line she shouldn’t cross, no matter how tempting.

But what a temptation it was!

Forcing herself to imagine the consequences
of discovery, she steered the conversation back to baseball. “Being
a hometown boy, what kind of pressure did you feel as a twenty-one
year old when the Patriots thrust you into a starting role in the
middle of your rookie season?”

* * *

Jake had no choice but to go with the flow
when Maddie abandoned her line of personal questions. He’d wanted
to keep it on that track, hoping that the intimate discussion would
help lead to something physical, sooner rather than later. Clearly,
though, something had spooked her and she’d again retreated to a
standard line of questioning. And he had to be realistic. She had a
job to do, and given what a pro she was, he wouldn’t have expected
anything else.