Fashionably Hotter Than Hell: Book Six, The Hot Damned Series (9 page)

"You bet I would pole dance with Mother Nature at a formal gathering?" she screeched.

"Who told you?" I inquired as I backed away from her. She was literally glowing and sparks flew from her fingertips.

"Every maimed Vampyre in the infirmary told me, you asswhack," she yelled. "I do not pole dance in public. I only do it for Ethan when he gets down on his knees and begs."

"Alrighty then," Ethan cut her off quickly. "That is entirely too much information, my love."

"You're right," she admitted sheepishly and then turned her wrath back to me. "If you weren't so pathetic right now, I would kick your sorry ass into the next century. Why would you bet something that could get you killed?"

"It doesn't matter now," I said as I eased my torn up body onto a couch. "The bet is off."

"Who was the bet with?" she asked as she got in my face.

"The bet was with someone I no longer know or acknowledge."

The silence in the room was deafening except for the annoying ringing in my ears. I waited for the next round of obscene name-calling and wasn't disappointed.

"Oh my Uncle God, you are such a douche canoe," she groused before she shoved me over and sat down next to me. "You made the bet with Raquel?"

"What did I tell you about betting with my sister?" Ethan said as he shook his head.

"It doesn't matter anymore. She's leaving and we are not mates."

"I call bullshit on that and anyway, she can't leave," Astrid said. "She's tutoring Sammy and he loves her."

"Let her leave," Ethan said softly. "She can't stay here if she can deny fate. It will destroy Heathcliff."

"Fate makes mistakes," I informed them and then laughed without humor.

"No, it fucking doesn't," Astrid snapped. "This is all such a clusterhump of doodoopoopcaacaa."

"What did you just say?" I asked, confused. Had my hearing been damaged?

"Shut up," Astrid hissed grumpily. "I'm trying to use words that won't land me in the
I have to duct tape my mouth
Hall of Fame. Just fucking go with it, buttwind."

"Will do," I said as I bit back a grin. I was surprised I could still smile. Life would apparently go on even if I didn't want it to.

"This is redonkulous," she muttered as she examined my mutilated face. "Raquel is your mate. What is her balleating problem? And don't you dare tell me it's her tale to tell," she said as she turned away from me and narrowed her eyes at Ethan.

"Fine," he said. "I won't say it."

"But you won't tell either," she said.

"Can't."

"I can withhold panty privileges," she threatened.

"But you won't," Ethan replied with a grin.

"You are such a… sexy piece of hot Vampyre man meat." She giggled and blew him a kiss.

"Can't listen to happy people in love," I said as I stood and made my way to the door of their suite. "Need to go sleep for a week. I'll be fine when she leaves. I'm sorry for the damage and for removing the appendages of half of our army. Won't happen again."

"See that it doesn't," Ethan said as he walked me to the door. "You'll get through this, my friend."

"Not sure I want to," I told him honestly as I left.

Never had I uttered a statement so true.

***

I sat bolt upright in my bed that still smelled of Raquel and slammed my hands over my ears. My body had healed in the time I'd slept. The ringing inside my head was gone, but a new one replaced it. The warning alarms in the compound blasted shrilly. It felt as if I'd only slept for a minute, but a quick glance at my watch proved me wrong. I'd slept for five hours. It was late afternoon and something was very wrong. Yanking on my clothes and grabbing my sword and knives, I raced from my suite toward the strategy room.

In the hallways, I passed dozens of armed Vamps headed to the first floor. It was utter chaos.

"What the fuck is going on?" I asked several as we sped along the hallway.

"We don't know yet, sir," one yelled from behind me.

"I heard we're being attacked by Trolls," another shouted.

Fuck.

***

Ethan watched the screens that monitored the grounds of the compound closely as several of our top generals gathered what troops we had in the ballroom. The strategy room was as high tech as they came. The walls were covered in screens that showed every inch of the thousand-acre compound. Astrid held Samuel and examined the monitors over Ethan's shoulder. The Baby Demons floated around her head and chattered with excitement. Martha and Jane, two old, profane, and offensive Vamps Astrid had unwittingly allowed to be changed over when she found them dying, flanked her and stared at the pending drama with beady eyes. Everyone made room for me as I approached.

"Trolls?" I asked as I sat down and put on an earpiece.

"At least ten," Ethan said as he closed his eyes and mentally communicated the information to the generals in the ballroom.

"Do we know what they want?" I asked tersely.

"They want Samuel and the one who dies," he answered.

"That makes no sense," I muttered as I tried to make out the background noise coming over the headset.

"What kind of idiots are they?" Astrid demanded as her hair began to blow around her head—a sure sign of an impending shit storm. "We're all dead. We're Vampyres, for fuck's sake."

"Fuck cake," Sammy yelled and clapped his hands.

"No, baby, I said fuck's sake," Astrid corrected her son. "Oh my Hell," she shouted. "I said Buck's rake… Buck's rake. Do you understand? Not fuck cake… which doesn't even make any sense. Buck's rake. Got it?"

"Yep, crazy potty word Mommy. Me understand." Sammy grinned like a loon and gave his mortified mother a wet raspberry on her cheek.

Martha handed Astrid a roll of duct tape and she promptly put a large piece over her lips.

"Did the contingent already leave for Europe to go to the Summit?" I asked Ethan.

"Yes, four hours ago," he said in a clipped tone.

I thanked God Raquel had left to go home. The thought of her being in danger made me sick. My love for her outweighed my hatred. I never wanted to see her again, but I needed to know she was safe.

"Jesus Christ, I picked a bad day to deplete our army," I muttered with self-loathing.

"Actually, you may have done us a favor," Ethan said as he studied the screens with laser focus. "Most of them have completely healed and I held thirty back from the Summit as backups. We have more fighters here because you had a smackdown on them."

"Should I say you're welcome?" I asked.

"No, you shouldn't," he shot back.

"My liege," a large and deadly Vamp named Bennett quickly bowed to Ethan and me. "The Trolls have surrounded the compound. We were wrong on the numbers. Venus cloaked herself and went out among them. She counted at least forty."

"Is she still out there?" I asked as I mentally calculated our odds against forty Trolls.

"Yes, she is, sir."

"Get her back inside," I snapped. "There is something else out there that I can't identify."

"I see nothing else out there except trolls," Ethan said.

"I can't see anything either. I hear it. Put on a headset."

Ethan and Astrid quickly put on earpieces.

"What the fuck is that?" Astrid asked as tore the tape from her mouth.

"Never heard it before," I admitted. It was eerie and unsettling—it sounding like screaming wind and it certainly didn't bode well.

"God damn it," Ethan snapped. "They're not smart enough for this."

"You recognize the noise?" I asked as I played with the volume and tried to adjust the sound in my ear.

"They brought Wraiths," Ethan spat as he threw off his headset and began to pace the room.

That stopped me dead. How did one kill a ghost?

"Oh shit," Astrid yelled. "You mean to tell me there's another motherhumpincowballsackofshitasswhacking species I've never heard of? What the Hell is a Wraith?"

"A bad poopy nasty ghost that be mad," Sammy volunteered and then popped his thumb in his mouth.

"How do you know this?" Astrid asked him with an alarmed expression.

"From me dreams," he explained as he rolled his eyes and giggled.

"Wraiths have entered your dreams?" I asked as I snatched the child from his mother’s arms. "Sammy, you cannot let them into your dreams. Ever. They can take you. If anything or anyone tries to take you somewhere in your dreams, you scream and say no. Do you understand me?"

My tone was harsh and his eyes grew huge, but this was some serious shit.

"Wraiths can dream walk?" Ethan was puzzled. "Only sentient beings can dream walk. Wraiths have no corporeal body and only take on the feelings of those that have summoned them."

"I've about had it with new species coming up every other Tuesday—especially those that are trying to take my son in his dreams," Astrid muttered as she took Sammy back and held onto him tight.

"Daddy and Mommy are poopoo silly crazy. Ghosts no walk in my dreams," Samuel squealed. "Sammy go walking in all sorts of people's dreams."

Well, that certainly shut everyone up.

I stared. Samuel was a Dream Walker? They were as rare as they come and a clusterfuck waiting to happen. In my two hundred years, I had never come across a Dream Walker. Most tended to believe they didn't exist. Dream Walkers were few and far between, coveted and hunted. You could start world wars and topple governments by Dream Walking—not to mention you could get information that could destroy an entire species.

"Have you walked in any of the Trolls’ dreams that are here today?" I asked carefully. If he had, we had to kill them all. Word of Samuel's power could not get out. Hell forbid if it already had.

"Yep," he announced proudly. "Me walk in Tommy's dream. He a bad, bad Troll. He want me to come and play, but me say no and run."

"I'm gonna hurl," Astrid choked out.

"Vamps can't puke," Martha reminded her and patted her on the back. "Can't fart either, but those fucking Baby Demons have some anal acoustics that could make you wanna tear your nose off your face."

The Baby Demons, Abe, Beyoncé, Rachel and Ross flipped through the air and slapped each other high fives while shrieking with glee.

"Not to worry though… if you rip your honker off your head it grows back," Jane added as she swatted at a dive-bombing Ross. "I've ripped mine off twice hoping it would come back smaller. I'd swear on my dead ass Uncle Joe, the fucker came back bigger."

"Martha and Jane," Astrid said in a calm voice that made my hair stand up and the Baby Demons freeze in midair.

"Yes?" they answered in unison.

"If you speak again, I will shove your heads up the Baby Demons’ asses and feed them beans and Brussel sprouts for a year."

They took the duct tape and quickly put large pieces over own their mouths.

"The Trolls have to die," I said as the door of the strategy room burst open.

It was Venus. A warrior and as vicious as she was beautiful. Black as night with a force that few could handle. She was one of Astrid's closest friends and I was lucky to call her friend as well.

"There are forty. To kill them you need to pierce the left side of their necks and go clean through with a sword," she said wearily as she took a seat and ran her hands through her wild hair.

"And you know this how?" Ethan asked as he checked his sword.

"Let's just say there used to be forty-two," Venus said with a wicked gleam in her eye. "I did a little experiment and it was successful."

"Magic won't work?" I asked.

"Nope, tried it." She shook her head and popped open a bottle of blood. "But the Trolls aren't the main problem. There are at least a hundred Wraiths and no one can kill a Wraith."

"I can," said a hauntingly familiar voice from the doorway.

God damn it, she was supposed to be gone. My gut clenched and my fury made my eyes go green. I whipped my head to Raquel and she took a step back. There was no way in Hell I would allow her to be part of this. She needed to stay alive—gone and alive.

"No," I snapped. "You will not be involved with this. I forbid it."

"I didn't get the memo about you being the boss of me," Raquel said flippantly as she sauntered into the room.

"Check your mail. I laid claim to you two hundred years ago. You're just too much of a coward to step up to your life," I said as I walked toward her and backed her up against the wall.

"Stand down," Jean Paul growled at me as he drew a knife.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," I said softly to Jean Paul as I kept my eyes trained on Raquel's. "It would be a shame to lose a good warrior before the fight even begins."