Farewell to Lancashire (25 page)

As the train left the station Cassandra felt shuddering relief sweep through her. ‘We did it, Phyllis. Did you see the man by the entrance? He was one of them.’

‘I noticed him, but he hardly looked at us.’

‘Are you sure? I was having such trouble walking so that I’d look shorter that I had to concentrate on that.’

‘You did well, dear. Now, why don’t you have a rest? Mr and Mrs Rainey won’t be able to join us in this compartment until the next stop.’

But Cassandra couldn’t rest. She wasn’t only escaping, she was saying farewell to Lancashire, probably for ever. The rhythmic clacking of the train wheels seemed to pound into her head and she found herself putting words to it:
Saying farewell, saying farewell, saying farewell
...

At the first stop, Mrs Rainey came to join them in the compartment while a porter transferred their luggage and Mr Rainey went to purchase a hamper of food for the journey.

‘Three shillings!’ he exclaimed as he brought it back. He looked inside it and scowled. ‘Highway robbery. It’s nothing but sandwiches and cakes.’

Cassandra had lifted the mourning veil from her face and tucked it back over her bonnet, but as people walked past their carriage on the platform, she kept her face averted, wishing she could continue to hide behind the veil. She hated how her hair looked now, wondered what people must think of it being so short.

‘How are you feeling?’ Mrs Rainey asked gently.

When she tried to answer, her throat thickened with tears and she could only shake her head blindly.

As the train rattled along again, Mr Rainey turned to another point of grievance. ‘Did you see that fellow at the station entrance in Outham, staring at everyone? Did he expect to abduct you from there in broad daylight?’

‘He might have done if I was alone. It’s very easy to hit someone on the head and knock them out.’ Cassandra shuddered. She hated the thought that she’d hurt Jane.

‘I’d never have believed it if I’d not seen it with my own eyes! You were right, Cassandra. They were indeed trying to recapture you. The effrontery of these people! I shall take a greater interest in law and order from now on. It’s no use saving people’s souls unless their bodies are safe.’

By the time they reached London, Cassandra was so numb with tiredness and reaction to her ordeal that she could hardly force her wobbly legs to move. She reached up to pull her veil across her face.

‘No need for that now,’ Mrs Rainey said.

‘I’d rather keep it on.’ She still felt as if people could read what had happened to her from her face, still felt sick at the thought of it.

‘You do what you want, dear,’ Phyllis said, offering the support of her arm again, gruff as ever, but there.

Everything was happening with such bewildering speed Cassandra hardly knew what to think. Would she really find her sisters again, go to Australia with them?

Could she really make a new start?

When they arrived in Gravesend, it was quite late and they could do nothing but find a hotel until the various offices opened the following morning. Again, Cassandra slept like the dead in the room she was sharing with Phyllis, but it was a heavy, unrefreshing sleep and she woke with a dull headache.

She and Phyllis joined Mrs Rainey for breakfast.

‘There’s no time to waste, with the ship leaving tomorrow, so my husband is already out making enquiries about a passage for you.’

Cassandra nodded. She didn’t feel hungry but ate a little to please her companions, both of whom were worried about her, she could see. Her main feeling was of numbness. She didn’t seem to know herself any more so for once, she let the others guide her.

Mr Rainey still hadn’t returned by ten o’clock, so they waited for him in the guests’ sitting room.

Her companions tried to make conversation, but soon gave up the attempt to include her, for which she was grateful. She was having trouble concentrating.

Gerald Rainey went first to the docks to make sure the
Tartar
had not yet sailed, and an obliging old sailor, who was leaning against a bollard smoking a pipe, pointed it out to him.

‘Have they taken the emigrants on board yet?’

‘Yesterday.’

‘Who must I see about getting passage on that ship?’

The old man laughed. ‘Can’t just buy a passage, sir. It’s an emigrant ship. You’ll have to see the agent.’

Gerald slipped the man a shilling and hurried off to the address given him, only to find the office wasn’t open yet. A card in the window said it would open at nine. He went to find a stall to buy some food and was fortunate enough to find one that sold cups of tea and hearty sandwiches, so was able to satisfy his appetite before returning to the office. There a clerk allowed him to sit and wait for the agent, who didn’t come in until later.

When the man did arrive, he shook his head decisively at a request to take another young woman from Lancashire on the
Tartar
.

‘My dear sir, all the places are taken. There simply isn’t any sleeping accommodation left.’

‘Then could we pay for her passage?’ He explained about Cassandra’s sisters, the urgent need for her to get on that ship, pretending she’d just lost her husband, which was the story they’d agreed on briefly the night before.

‘It’s a sad story but I don’t allocate the other places, so I can’t help you. I did hear, however, that the cabins have all been taken by paying passengers. I can’t see there being room for another passenger, whatever the circumstances.’

‘Could you at least tell me if the sisters are on board?’

‘What did you say they were called?’

Gerald told him.

The agent frowned. ‘Young women called Susan, May and Dora Blake are on the ship. They tried to claim other names, but we had been warned by the Vicar who recommended them not to give in to such fancies.’

‘But the names they claim are their real ones. I christened them myself.’

The agent shrugged. ‘Too late now.’

Gerald felt angry all over again at the way the Vicar trampled on everyone from the lower classes. That was no way to spread the Lord’s message. He sat down in the waiting room for a moment to try to calm himself and work out how to break the bad news to Cassandra. As usual when there was trouble, he prayed to his Maker for help.

When he’d finished, he saw another gentleman sitting opposite him, looking annoyed.

‘How long is that agent fellow going to be?’ the other asked.

‘Is something wrong?’ Mr Rainey asked, since his companion seemed bursting to confide in someone.

‘Yes, very wrong. That stupid maid of my wife’s has changed her mind and now refuses to come to Australia with us, says she’s too old for such junketing and she doesn’t want to leave her family. I’ve heard there are some young women being sent out to the colonies and I want to find out if one of them can do the job temporarily. That is, if they’re respectable. I’m not having a slut tend my wife, who is in a delicate condition. She needs a woman’s help on the journey.
I
can’t do the sorts of things she requires.’

Dear Lord, thank you
, Gerald thought. ‘Actually, I may be able to help you.’

‘Oh?’

‘A young friend of ours has been suddenly widowed. Her sisters are on that ship and she’s desperate to go out to Australia with them. I’d come here to try to persuade the agent to take her as well, but they have a full quota. And he says there are no passages to be bought, either. If she were to take your maid’s place ...’ He looked at the other.

The man slapped his hand on his leg. ‘It could be the answer. I’d need to meet her. Is she respectable?’

‘She’s very respectable, has been a member of my congregation all her life. She’s with my wife and our housekeeper in a nearby hotel. She is, as you will appreciate, very upset. Her husband was taken from her suddenly in an accident. But I’m sure she’ll do her best to help your wife if you pay for her passage. She’s a capable young woman.’

‘How old is she?’

‘About thirty, I think, perhaps a little younger.’

‘Just the ticket. Much better than a flighty young female or a timid older one. My name’s Barrett, Simon Barrett.’

They shook hands and Gerald introduced himself.

‘Tell me where you’re staying and we’ll come to meet her as soon as I can fetch my wife. You
are
sure she’s respectable?’

‘I can not only vouch for Cassandra, I knew her father and mother well. Sadly, they too are dead and her sisters are the only relatives she has left in the world.’

‘Very sad.’ But Mr Barrett spoke absent-mindedly.

Gerald hurried back to the hotel.

‘Here he is!’

Cassandra looked up to see Mr Rainey stride into the sitting room.

‘We should go up to our bedroom and talk privately,’ he said. ‘Please hurry.’

The ladies looked at one another in surprise and followed him up the stairs.

As he explained what the migration agent had said, Cassandra closed her eyes in despair. ‘I may never see them again. And what am I going to
do
? I can’t go back to Outham.’

‘If you’ll let me finish, my dear ...’ He told them about the Barretts.

Cassandra stared at him as if she’d not understood a word he’d said and he looked at his wife for guidance.

‘Are you all right, my dear?’ she asked gently.

‘Yes. I was just so – overwhelmed. If they’ll give me the position, I promise I’ll work very hard indeed, though I’ve no experience of being a maid.’

‘Tell them that. Don’t pretend.’

‘Why do I need to say I’m a widow? Surely I can become myself again now?’

Mr Rainey exchanged another glance with his wife and edged towards the door. ‘I’ll – um, leave you ladies to have a quick chat about this. I’ll be waiting for you downstairs.’

When he’d gone, Cassandra turned in puzzlement to Mrs Rainey.

‘Have you not considered that there may be – results of the way you were treated?’

She couldn’t think clearly, felt dull and weary, so shook her head. It was over now, wasn’t it? Except for the nightmares.

‘My dear, what if you’re expecting a child?’

Cassandra looked at her in horror. ‘I hadn’t even considered that,’ she said, her voice a mere whisper. ‘Is this nightmare never going to end?’

‘It may not happen, and we’ll pray that it doesn’t, but you said they used you many times.’

The silence seemed stifling. She couldn’t breathe.

There was a knock on the door and Phyllis answered it to find a maid there to summon them downstairs to meet the Barretts.

Mrs Rainey looked doubtfully at Cassandra. ‘My dear, you must pull yourself together, difficult as it is. This may be your only hope of joining your sisters.’

As the words sank in, Cassandra nodded and took a shaky breath.

‘Remember, you’re recently bereaved. Your husband died of ... what?’

‘He was knocked down by a runaway horse and cart,’ Phyllis said. ‘We need something sudden and shocking.’

Mrs Rainey nodded. ‘Yes, that’s a good idea. What was his name?’

Cassandra could only think of John.

‘And his surname?’

‘John Lawson.’ Phyllis again offered a suggestion. ‘Tell them you’d only been married for a few months. They’ll be even more sympathetic then. And there’s your hair to consider. How do we explain that?’

Cassandra reached up to touch the short, jaw-length hair. It still felt strange. ‘There’s nothing I can do about it.’

‘You’d better tell them you were ill just before your husband died and they cut your hair short to conserve your strength. It looks well enough, even now, being so thick and wavy.’

She nodded. What did it matter? Everything seemed so unreal and this was yet another chimera that had arisen to bedevil her. Perhaps this was a nightmare and she’d waken soon.

But she knew it wasn’t, and although she called it a chimera, it was not a product of her imagination nor a mythical beast. The beasts had been men. The unthinkable had really happened and its consequences were still affecting her life, driving her to extreme measures.

She hated to lie. But if lying would reunite her with her sisters, then she’d do it. She took a few deep breaths and gave the two older women a shaky smile. ‘I’m ready.’

‘I’ll stay here,’ Phyllis said. ‘I’m only the housekeeper. Most employers aren’t like Mr and Mrs Rainey, who treat everyone kindly. They won’t like me being there with you. And remember, you can’t expect the same friendliness from them.’ She hesitated, then went across to give the younger woman a quick hug.

Cassandra hugged her back and then, feeling as if her main support in the world had been taken from her, followed the Minister’s brisk wife down the stairs.

In the sitting room they found Mr Rainey chatting to a young couple. Mrs Barrett looked wan and puffy, and her husband’s eyes kept going to her anxiously.

Mrs Rainey put one arm round Cassandra’s shoulders as they moved across the room and waited for her husband to introduce them.