Authors: Lisa Schroeder
Tags: #Juvenile Fiction, #Social Issues, #Death & Dying, #Family, #Stepfamilies, #Action & Adventure, #Survival Stories, #General
Outside,
the air was cool
and crisp,
the way you want your sheets
when it’s blistering
hot.
We walked to the park
and ran through the leaves,
picking them up
and throwing them at each other,
as if they were snowballs.
Instead of loud splats,
we got quiet flutters
of crimson and amber.
He pulled me to him,
spun me around,
and we fell
into a bed of foliage
fit for a king.
I wanted to freeze
the moment
in my mind
forever,
because there’s nothing better
than flutters
of the heart.
When he held me close,
out of breath,
leaves stuck to our jackets,
I whispered,
“I’m going to California in two days.”
He whispered back,
“And in seven days, you’ll be back home again.
With me.
And maybe being apart will make you want me like I
want you.”
I laughed because he’s
such a
guy
and you can’t blame him
for trying.
“Yes,” I told him.
“In seven days I’ll be home again.”
“So count to seven instead of two,” he said.
“Seven’s better anyway.”
And then he proceeded to give me
seven
amazing
kisses
just to
prove it.
As I drove back home,
I thought about
driving in our old Isuzu Trooper
all that way
with the three of them.
Later, I asked Dad
if he thought it was
just a little crazy
to take an almost newborn
on a long car trip.
“Why? She’ll sleep most of the way.
We’ll stop every few hours so Vic can nurse her.
With stops, we figure it’ll be a twelve-hour trip.
It’ll be fine.
Her parents really want to see their granddaughter.”
“Right.
So why do I have to go?”
“They want to see you too, Ali.”
The whole thing
wasn’t just a little crazy.
It was absolutely
insane.
Sunday morning
I got dressed
and went to church.
On the way there,
I prayed for a lot of things.
I prayed I could talk to Claire.
I prayed she’d listen.
I prayed she’d want to talk to me.
I prayed we’d be rushing to say “Sorry” first.
I prayed the distance between us
would disappear as soon as we hugged,
because we really are
best friends forever.
I prayed
and I prayed
and I prayed.
But when I got there,
Claire was nowhere
to be found.
And so
there was nothing to do
but go to her house
after church
and get her to talk to me
so we could end
this ridiculous fight,
or whatever it was
between us.
But on the way I realized
if she wanted to see me,
to talk to me,
she’d have been at church
like I was.
I mean,
that’s been our thing—
to go there
together.
Wouldn’t she
have made some kind
of effort,
if making up
was important
to her?
I drove
slower
and slower,
trying to decide
if I should go
or not.
Confused.
Then Dad called.
He asked me to stop at the store
and get snacks
and other necessities
for the road trip.
That’s all it took
to help me make up my mind.
If she wanted to see me,
she knew where to find me.
At least until the next day,
when I’d be
on the road
to nowhere fast.
I discovered
when you’re going
on a trip
with a baby,
the whole
flippin’ house
has to come along too.
But then I realized
if we just kept
packing it in,
maybe
there wouldn’t be
any room left
for
me!
There
was
room.
Right
next
to
the
car
seat.
Sunday night
Blaze came over
after work
to see me
before we left
bright and early
Monday morning.
As we walked
down the sidewalk,
bundled up,
arm in arm,
I told him
about Claire
and asked him
to check in with her
for me.
He told me
I was worrying too much
and I was probably
making more out of it
than I needed to.
He stopped walking,
turned,
and kissed me.
Goose bumps
rose
up
and
down
my body.
“I’m gonna miss you so much,” he whispered
as he nuzzled my neck.
I looked up at the moon,
a silvery slice hanging there
like a shiny ornament
on a Christmas tree.
“Me too,” I whispered back.
“I don’t want to go.”
“Who knows,” he said,
curling my hair with his finger,
“maybe you’ll have fun.
Vic seems pretty nice.”
It was so funny,
I couldn’t help but
tilt my head back
and laugh out loud.
“You are crazy,” he said,
pulling me to him
and kissing me
again.
Crazy in love
was all.
We left
before the sun
even peeked
its head out
from underneath
the covers.
I wished
I could have stayed
in my bed,
peaceful and warm.
After we dropped Cobain off
at the kennel,
we drank coffee
and ate doughnuts.
Then I tried to go
back to sleep.
It became obvious
fairly quickly
the baby
was
NOT
going to sleep
most of the way.
I put my earbuds in
and cranked the tunes.
A couple of times
Victoria asked me
to try to do something
to get Ivy
to stop crying.
Reluctantly,
I gave her my pinky
to suck on.
But when my arm
got tired
and I moved it away,
she started crying
again.
Victoria and Dad
looked at me
like I was supposed to keep
my pinky
in her mouth
forever.
I turned the music up,
rested my head against the window,
and pretended to sleep
like a baby should
and a bratty teenager
does.
Imagine
a matchbox
with a broken match
dividing it up
into tiny rooms,
and you have
a pretty good picture
of their house.
After kisses and hugs
that smelled like garlic and wine,
Victoria’s mom, Linda, said,
“Let me show you to your room.”
Room. Singular.
One room
for two adults,
one baby,
and a
cussing-under-her-breath
teenager.
“You don’t mind the floor, do you, Ali?” Victoria asked me.
c
Like I had a choice.
A sleeping bag
magically appeared
from the pile of stuff
we had brought.
They knew.
They could have made
reservations somewhere,
and they chose
not to.
That’s when I was thinking,
who are these people
and what the hell
am I doing with them?
When the baby wasn’t crying,
Dad was snoring.
I took my sleeping bag
and moved to the couch.
Around 5 a.m.
I discovered
Ted and Linda
are the type of people
who enjoy
greeting the sun
with a cup of coffee.
So much
for sleeping in
over break.
As I sat up
and considered
hitchhiking home,
Linda asked me
if I liked cream or sugar
with my coffee.
“Just cream,” I said.
And then a vision
popped into my brain
of her finding a glass
in the fridge
and pouring it into
my cup.
I couldn’t help it.
I jumped up to check.
She held a carton of cream
and poured some
into my big,
steaming mug.
It was probably
one of the best
cups of coffee
I’d ever had.
I decided if she’d just
keep the coffee coming,
maybe,
just maybe,
I could survive.
For two days
and two nights
we stayed in the
teeny-tiny house,
playing cards
and watching movies.
My guitar
was in the car
because I insisted
on bringing it,
but I was embarrassed to play it
in front of everyone.
So there was nothing else to do.
I had never
ever
ever
ever
ever
been
so
completely
bored.
Even Dad
was starting to look
like he was plagued
with cabin fever.
Which is probably why
he didn’t argue at all
when his boss called him
and told him
he had to
fly to New York
on Thanksgiving night
and meet with a lawyer
first thing
Friday morning.
“Can I go with you?” I asked him.
“I’ve always wanted to see New York.”
He shook his head
and told me
I had to stay with
Victoria and Ivy
because she might need help
on the drive home.
Wonderful.
“Did you know this might happen, Dad?” I asked.
“Yeah.
I mean, with my job, it’s always a possibility.”
It suddenly made
perfect sense
why they forced me
to come along.
At Linda’s suggestion,
we went around the table
and said what we were thankful for.
There was only one rule.
Once something was said,
it couldn’t be said again.
Linda said family.
Ted said football.
Dad said health.
Victoria said Ivy.
Eyes turned to me.
Some eyes were curious,
some eyes were hopeful,
and it felt like
some eyes were disapproving.
Whatever they were,
they were all on me.
And when I said
the word “Blaze,”
four eyes looked confused
and four others looked embarrassed.
“My boyfriend,” I mumbled,
to at least make the confused
less so.
They nodded
and smiled,
then Ted jumped up and said,
“Okay, let’s cut the bird, shall we?”
So we gobbled the turkey,
got stuffed on the stuffing,
and ended on a sweet note
with fresh pumpkin pie.
After dinner
Linda brought out gifts
wrapped up in
paper splattered with
Santas, snowmen,
and angels.
I wondered if her calendar
was on the wrong month.
She told us
to take them home
and put them
under our tree
since we wouldn’t be seeing them
for Christmas.
They’d be going to
North Carolina
to visit Victoria’s brother
and sister-in-law.
Dad threw the box of gifts
in the back of the Trooper
before he left for the airport.
I got a quick good-bye,
while Victoria and the baby
got a lingering one outside
as Ted waited in the car
to drive Dad to the airport.
When Victoria came inside,
I noticed the tears on her face
before she retreated
to her room.
Linda said, “Come on, Ali.
Let’s play rummy.”
Man.
Dad was
so
lucky.