Fangs for Freaks (9 page)
Authors: Serena Robar
Tags: #Vampires, #Fiction, #Horror, #Best friends, #Horror & Ghost Stories, #Juvenile Fiction, #Social Issues, #School & Education, #Friendship, #Fantasy & Magic, #Horror stories, #Universities and colleges
“Oh yes,” Piper confirmed. “So, Lucy said there was no reason to get personal and Durham tells Lucy to shut up, which makes Angie call Durham a bleepin’ cow.”
I winced because I knew Piper was replacing more colorful vocabulary with “bleeping.” She noticed the look on my face and assured me, “Oh, it gets better.”
I was afraid of that.
“So I say let’s all calm down and Angie proclaims that she refuses to be in debt to a bleepin’ cow and therefore won’t be buying a thing. At the same time she started taking the clothes in her hand and shoving them under her shirt and in her sweat-pants. Like she’s just gonna walk on out of Nordstrom laden down with stolen goods and no one will dare stop her.”
In spite of the seriousness of the story, I started to giggle.
“I told everyone to continue shopping, since they don’t have much time left, and took Angie aside. I assured her that she could have whatever makeup she wants and I would be happy to ‘buy’ the clothes she has stuffed under her shirt so she won’t be indebted to Durham. After a few minutes, Angie agreed but not before announcing, very loudly, that if Mrs. Durham gets in her way again she’s gonna put a cap in her ass.”
“Piper, I don’t know what to say. How awful.” And in truth it did sound awful. But I couldn’t stop the giggles from escaping. I could easily picture Piper playing diplomat, all the while cursing me under her breath and trying to keep everyone from going postal.
“Don’t you dare laugh,” she warned me, but she was having a hard time keeping herself from giggling as well. Finally, she couldn’t contain her mirth any longer and we both laughed until we cried. She joined me on the bed, wiping the tears and smeared eyeliner off her cheeks.
“I am so sorry you had to go through that. I know Durham can be a pain, but I had no idea she would take it out on everyone. I figured she would wait until she saw me again.”
“Yeah, well, you thought wrong. How did it go in California?”
“I brought home the two half-bloods with no bloodshed if that’s what you mean.”
“Where’s Thomas?” she asked.
“He stayed behind. He’s going to talk to Cookie about the half-bloods and then head home.”
This technically wasn’t a lie because he would go to the beach house when it was dark and discover I’d really taken the girls and he would have to deal with the wrath of Cookie.
“Hmmmm,” she said, staring at me speculatively.
“And we kind of had a fight,” I admitted.
“I see. What kind of fight?”
“Oh Piper, it was awful,” I wailed. “We were making out in our room on this huge bed and he just stands up and is all ‘We’ve got to figure out a game plan’ and I’m all ‘What? We’ve got hours to kill before sunset’ and he’s ‘This isn’t the time or the place’ and I’m all, ‘Dude, this is totally the time and place’ and then”—I took a deep breath and wailed again—“then he called me immature!” I hiccupped dramatically for effect, waiting for Piper to console me.
“You tried to seduce him when you two were at work?” she asked, incredulously.
“Of course not. We weren’t at work
at that moment
. We were waiting. We had hours of waiting to do. And the mean guy at the reception desk was acting all icky toward me, saying I couldn’t stay and all. Just because I’m a half-blood.” Again I ended my tirade with a slight wail, waiting for Piper to agree with me.
at that moment
. We were waiting. We had hours of waiting to do. And the mean guy at the reception desk was acting all icky toward me, saying I couldn’t stay and all. Just because I’m a half-blood.” Again I ended my tirade with a slight wail, waiting for Piper to agree with me.
“But you know vampires don’t like half-bloods,” she tried to reason with me.
“Piper!” I said in exasperation. “The point is that I was vulnerable and needed comfort from my boyfriend and he wouldn’t
put out
.”
put out
.”
“But he’s never put out. Why would that moment make things any different?”
“Aarghh. We had a private room, a big bed, no one to disturb us and hours to kill with no TV.”
“Oh, you didn’t have a television? Well, I guess that does change things a little bit.”
Sometimes I just wanted to bite Piper … really hard. But I refrained because she sounded like she was finally coming around.
“So out of the blue Thomas says you’re immature and that’s why he won’t do you?” I could tell Piper was struggling to understand but since she wasn’t there it was very hard for her to grasp the facts. The facts were I was totally right and Thomas was cruel and insensitive.
“Well, not really. I told him I wasn’t a virgin so what was the big deal anyway?”
Piper gave me a pained expression.
“Ouch,” she said.
“Yes, exactly. That’s what I thought.”
“I meant ouch for Thomas. That must have been nice to hear.”
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, I don’t know. He’s an old-fashioned guy and is being totally respectful by waiting on the physical side of things. He’s training you and helping you to become a better Protector. He’s dating a half-blood, so I imagine he’s being ostracized by all the other vampires and his girlfriend screams she isn’t a virgin
in his face
when he won’t put out because he’s concerned about a mission to protect half-bloods, which is her responsibility in the first place. So yeah, I stand behind my ‘ouch.’ ”
in his face
when he won’t put out because he’s concerned about a mission to protect half-bloods, which is her responsibility in the first place. So yeah, I stand behind my ‘ouch.’ ”
I looked at Piper, somewhat dazed. Well, yeah, when you put it that way.
“Crap,” I whispered, dragging my hands through my hair.
Five
P
iper left me with my shame. I guess she sensed it was time to let her logic sink in. I lay down on the bed, debating if I should grab a little sleep. I was used to sleeping only a couple of hours at a time. In order to graduate from high school, I had to be able to attend my day classes, so I learned to survive off of napping. Instead I decided to search out my sorority sisters. After all, they were my job. I was in the business of protecting them. It seemed natural to assume they might eke out a little gratitude and I could desperately use a pick-me-up.
iper left me with my shame. I guess she sensed it was time to let her logic sink in. I lay down on the bed, debating if I should grab a little sleep. I was used to sleeping only a couple of hours at a time. In order to graduate from high school, I had to be able to attend my day classes, so I learned to survive off of napping. Instead I decided to search out my sorority sisters. After all, they were my job. I was in the business of protecting them. It seemed natural to assume they might eke out a little gratitude and I could desperately use a pick-me-up.
I wandered upstairs and found Ileana going through her new purchases. She was giving orders to her maid to hang this, press that and put away the other. When she was satisfied everything would be accomplished to her satisfaction, she brushed past me and headed downstairs.
“Doesn’t it bother you?” I asked the maid from the doorway, fed up with “Sophie, fetch this for me.”
“No mum,” she answered quietly, never tarrying from her task.
“Well for heaven’s sake, why not? You’re a human being and deserve to be treated with respect. Don’t you want more out of life than jumping up to do
her
”—I gestured my thumb in Ileana’s direction—“bidding?”
her
”—I gestured my thumb in Ileana’s direction—“bidding?”
“My family has been in the service of the Romanavs for centuries. It is an honor to serve my lady.”
“Really?” I puzzled, wondering if a long-standing employee /employer relationship was really worth putting up with Ileana.
“Yes, my lady has been very good to my family.”
“Oh, do you have brothers and sisters who work for her as well?” I leaned against the door frame.
“No mum, I am an only child. Every daughter serves my lady. I do, and my mother, and her mother before her. It has always been so.”
“Wow, so your mom and grandma served Ileana’s mom and her grandmother?” Talk about a family business.
Sophie stopped her folding actions and looked at me in speculation, then turned back to her task. “As I said, my family has served the Romanavs for centuries.”
Well, okay then. I left her to her lady’s maid tasks and went in search of Carl.
Carl and I began our relationship hating each other. Back when I was first changed, he thought I was mocking him when he asked to see my fangs and I showed him my stainless steel fang headgear. But over the last eight months, we’d become almost friends. Actually, I think he still had a thing for Piper but she hadn’t shown any romantic interest in him after he was her date for Homecoming. She liked him well enough but wasn’t willing to date a vampire, and I couldn’t blame her. Relationships were tough enough without adding the whole Undead thing into the mix. I worked with Carl and over time, I managed to grow on him. Much like a fungus, he was fond of saying.
I figured he wouldn’t be too thrilled to hear how I left Thomas stuck in California. When I found Carl at the massive dining room table, poring over some paperwork from his briefcase, he smirked as I entered the room and commented, “Never a dull moment around you, is there?”
“Ah, I see Thomas has filled you in.” I grabbed the chair across from him and sank into it.
“Breaking rank and leaving your partner essentially locked in a safe house while you placed yourself in danger is grounds for an inquiry.”
“I did not lock anyone in a safe house!” I hotly refuted. “I left him asleep in his room in the middle of the day! It’s not my fault he can’t go out in the sun. And, for your information, I am the Protector of the half-bloods and I shouldn’t have to wait for an Investigator to go talk to them.”
Carl raised an eyebrow and replied, “Thomas is not any Investigator, he was the one assigned to you on this case
and
he’s your senior.”
and
he’s your senior.”
Before I could reply, a new voice added itself to the conversation.
“And by ditching him and playing Wonder Vamp, you kind of rolled his face in the fact that you didn’t need him there and that he has no value. No value as an Investigator or as your boyfriend. Nice job.”
I turned to glare at Piper. “I did
not
devalue my boyfriend. He knows how much I, uh, I value him.” Who uses “value” in a sentence that doesn’t include “shopping,” anyway? Not value Thomas? Sheesh, how could Piper say these things to me after I shared my pain with her?
not
devalue my boyfriend. He knows how much I, uh, I value him.” Who uses “value” in a sentence that doesn’t include “shopping,” anyway? Not value Thomas? Sheesh, how could Piper say these things to me after I shared my pain with her?
“I’m just saying …”
“Well, don’t,” I said, cutting her off rudely. “Thomas and I are fine. He’ll be just fine. You just don’t get it. Our relationship is complex,” I added a little lamely, feeling myself sink into a shame spiral. Thomas was always doing whatever he could to help me and I had kind of slapped him down on this one. I shouldn’t have let my anger about our personal situation affect my job.
It’s just he made me so mad, acting like he knew everything and I was a newbie loser who couldn’t even walk on the beach in the middle of the day without wreaking havoc. Well, I did just fine. And my success would be just the eye-opener he needed to see I could take care of myself.
Piper threw her hands up and muttered, “Whatever,” and walked back into the living room. I stood up and glared at Carl, daring him to contradict me. He turned back to his paperwork, effectively dismissing me.
Well excuse me for living, er,
not living
.
not living
.
I stomped away in a bit of a huff. Didn’t anybody see my side of this? I was doing the best I could do at this stupid job. A job which I never asked for, by the way, and no one seemed to appreciate how hard I’d been working at it. Not Piper, not Carl and especially not Thomas.
I climbed the stairs to my bedroom and threw myself on the bed. I lay on my back, looking up at the ceiling, hugging my fluffy pink throw pillow to my chest.
Would it ever get any easier?
I thought and then my stomach growled. I groaned at the injustice.
Would it ever get any easier?
I thought and then my stomach growled. I groaned at the injustice.
Just then a timid knock interrupted my pity party (I
hate
that) and my door cracked open to reveal Lucy.
hate
that) and my door cracked open to reveal Lucy.
“Hey,” she said.
“Hey,” I returned her greeting.
“If you have time, do you, uh, want to see what we picked out shopping?” she asked shyly.
Ah yes, the infamous shopping trip to Nordstrom. The event that would forever leave me in Piper’s debt.
I hemmed a bit. “Well, actually …”
Lucy rushed to add, “And I hoped you could go with me to feed? You know, show me where …” She paused with a hopeful look on her face.
What kind of ogre was I, anyway? Poor thing just wanted some company and to eat, but was too timid to go alone and I’m all “poor me.” I sucked as a Protector.
“I was actually going to suggest feeding. Great minds think alike, I guess. We’ll see who else wants to come with us. Then you could show me your stuff, if you’re still up for it?”
Lucy blinked twice and said, “Sure, great. Let’s do that.”
I smiled at her enthusiasm. Maybe everything wasn’t a complete disaster. I could make some friends out of this gig and maybe, just maybe things would turn out okay.
“Great, let me grab my fangs and we can go.” I reached for my nightstand and pulled out the familiar box which housed my headgear fangs.
“I’m sorry, I thought you said you had to get your fangs.” Lucy giggled at the thought.
“Well, actually I did. I don’t have real fangs.” I was embarrassed each time I had to explain my lack of canines to another vampire. It wasn’t my fault I had six teeth removed for braces when I was twelve. My orthodontist (also known as Dad’s best friend, Ted) suggested oral surgery to remove my wisdom teeth and two canines. Unfortunately, though I now had a killer smile, I no longer had my feeding fangs.
So my dad, a gifted orthodontist in his own right, created special headgear with stainless-steel fangs so I could still feed. Yes, it made me look like the biggest geek in the vampire world but at least I didn’t starve. Which normally seemed like a pretty good trade-off until I had to explain why I had to wear the headgear. Like now.
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