Family Secrets (12 page)

He could try to divorce Susan, but it would
be a mess and he knew it. They had a couple of other properties
tied in together in both their names, and if Susan just so happened
to spill it to a judge that he'd been doing her daughter, said
judge would probably find a loophole in as many of those documents
he or she could to give Susan whatever she wanted, regardless of
any affair that she'd been having. If he went for a divorce, Susan
would have his head, he just knew it, and it wasn't worth the risk.
Besides, with their combined incomes, they were comfortable. They
were far from rich or anything remotely approaching wealthy, but
they did well when they put their heads together with their
finances.

Susan was obviously more than comfortable
with their arrangement as well, seeing as how she'd never brought
up the idea of them getting a divorce or even threatened him with a
separation. Luke was sure it had occurred to her, but it was too
much of a hassle from both of their point of views.

And what about Scott? It didn't matter about
the girl in between them at certain points, and Luke had to admit
that. He loved his son. He loved Scott the way most parents loved
their kids. He wanted the best for Scott. He wanted his son happy
and leading a productive life. Luke knew he'd screwed up at some
points, but that didn't mean he didn't love his child, and it
didn't matter how old Scott was.

Luke dozed off next to Brittney, but after
only an hour and a half, he woke up just as the sun was rising in
the east. He looked around and wished he could stay, but staying
with her wasn't his reality. He didn’t want to be without her, but
he couldn't be with her either—they both knew that, regardless of
the games they played. And sometimes those games felt as if they
wreaked entirely too much havoc.

Luke sighed and hoisted himself. He told
himself not to look back, but he did anyway, just as he was
shutting the door. He looked at Brittney's still-sleeping form,
knowing he'd be with her again, sooner rather than later.

***

Susan got in at ten in the morning, and for
the first time in a long time, she looked radiant, especially for
someone who had supposedly worked overtime at the end of a long
December night. The overtime had been a lie, and Luke had known it
the second it had been out of her mouth, but he hadn't bothered to
say anything about it as it had been so many times in the past. For
a moment, Luke scowled at her and thought about pointing out the
fact that maybe if she'd just confessed to him that she was into
other women before they got married that their lives could have
gone a whole lot differently, but he didn't bother. He figured
people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, and the last thing
he wanted was to get into an argument with his wife that had more
to do with his frustration than anything she'd done. He'd made
peace with Susan's lifestyle choice a long time ago as secret as it
was supposed to be. Their house had been built on secrets.

But Luke didn't intend to lay them all out on
the table this morning. The only thing he intended to put on the
table was breakfast, which was what he was cooking: Belgian
waffles, sausages, eggs, and coffee.

"Smells good," Susan commented with an easy
smile as she walked into the kitchen and headed straight for the
fridge to see if they had any orange juice. She and Luke had long
since stopped being the type of couple that shared any
early-morning intimacies like quick pecks on the cheek or lips or
content loving gazes simply at seeing one another and being
together at sunrise. If they told the truth, those moments had
stopped before either of the kids hit double digits. Maybe they
hadn't ever been deeply in love, but they had shared something
special in the past, and neither of them could have denied
that.

"If you're still on a diet, there's still
half a loaf of that whole wheat bread up there. I don't think it's
stale…or has any mold on it," Luke offered.

"Ugh," Susan said, wrinkling her nose. "Fuck
a diet. It's the holidays. Besides, Linda told me that whole wheat
bread will make you gain just as much weight as white bread."

Luke shrugged. "You can still put the
marmalade on your waffles, I guess."

Susan was already shaking her head. "Give me
butter and syrup on top of my waffle this morning or give me
death."

Luke laughed a bit and went back to cracking
eggs. They still had their good moments every once in a while. They
were brief and subtle, but those moments seemed to have begun to
define them.

As Luke whisked the eggs, he glanced over at
Susan next to the food he'd already set out. Only the sausage and
half the waffles were done. Susan was already fixing her plate.

"I think I heard Scott come in late last
night before I went to work," Susan said offhandedly, with her back
turned to Luke, and right then, Luke knew that she'd heard Scott
and Brittney together. He also believed Susan had probably run for
the door so she could pretend to go to work just so she wouldn't
have to acknowledge what was still apparently happening between her
daughter and stepson.

"Is that so?" Luke asked. The muscle in his
jaw twitched twice after the words left his mouth. He could play
her game if that was the way she wanted it.

Just as she was about to open her mouth
again, footsteps came from the stairwell, and they were obviously
headed downstairs. For a moment, they both tensed. It was no longer
a day-to-day occurrence to have both of the kids in the house
anymore, and if Luke and Susan had acknowledged anything to one
another at that moment, they both would have confessed that it was
weird. But no words were exchanged between the two of them.

They both knew who it was before
the person emerged around the corner. They knew their own; they
could tell the difference between one another's footfalls same as
any family could figure out which one of theirs was walking along
the floor, barefoot or with shoes.

"Morning, Scottie," Susan sang as soon as she
caught sight of him, and without hesitation, he went over to her
and gave her a peck on the check.

"Morning, Mom," he said. He'd always called
her "Mom"; she was the only mother he could remember actually
having in his life. His biological mom held a special place in the
photo albums, but her pictures were the only connection he'd ever
had to her aside from his blood and a few stories Luke had told him
over the years. Regardless of whatever Susan didn't do, she'd
always treated him like a son, and had shown him love the same
way.

Luke had glanced in their direction when the
pleasantries were being exchanged between the two of them. He
couldn’t help but marvel at the act that Susan had always put on—as
if nothing was happening and she didn’t know about anything
unseemly happening in their house. Susan was good that way, and it
was a little disconcerting to him; it didn't matter how grateful he
was for it most of the time.

Scott and Susan exchanged a few murmured
words, and then Luke noticed that Susan was looking behind him.
Automatically, Luke peered in that direction as well. Whatever bags
Scott had brought in the evening before had already been packed
again and were sitting on the floor, ready for him to just pick up
so he can leave again.

Luke raised his eyebrows, but he didn't say
anything.

"Won't you at least stay for breakfast?"
Susan asked with a pleading edge to her voice.

Scott hesitated and looked anguished at
hearing Susan's plea, but he also looked as if he'd expected it and
had resigned himself to his decision. He shook his head sadly. Luke
didn't think the sad look on his son's face was a farce.

"No, I don’t think that's such a good idea,"
Scott answered, and in that split second, Susan shot Luke a
venomous, questioning look, but again, she didn't say anything, nor
did she ask any questions about what may have happened to bring on
Scott's sudden departure. "I think I should leave right now, get
back on the road and back to my apartment."

Susan swallowed a lump in her throat that
signaled tears were trying to surface. "But honey, nobody's gonna
be there. It's the holidays. You should be with family. The school
campus is closed down, those student apartments are gonna be
practically deserted—stay."

It was unlike her to do such pleading, and
Luke wondered what had brought on the sentimentality, but same as
Susan, he didn't say anything or ask any questions in that regard.
He figured he'd let things play out, see how they went, and if all
went well, the rest of the day probably wouldn't be such a
disaster.

Scott had already been shaking his head
before Susan had finished her last sentence. "Mom, trust me, I
think it'll be for the best if I just head out now. And I won't be
lonely or anything. One of my roommates stayed behind and a few of
our other friends."

Susan took a deep breath. "Fine, then; if you
insist. Just call me after you get there and call me as much as you
want over the next few days, or…whenever. You know how you and I
always do." With that, she reached up and stroked Scott's cheek and
gave him a platonic, mother-son kiss on the lips that made a smile
stretch across Scott's face. The smile that broke out made him look
like a kid again, and Luke felt a swell of anger rise in him that
hadn't been there a second earlier.

That's the way he wished things had stayed
between him and Britt. It was like Adam and Eve in the Garden; he
was sure that if they could have gone back and undone what they'd
done, they would have undone it gladly, but after a sampling of the
forbidden fruit, there was never any going back. You were doomed
and you suffered the consequences. It would never be platonic
between him and Brittney again, and he knew it, but that didn't
mean it didn't stop him from hurting over what he'd lost, even if
it was his fault that he'd lost it.

Scott looked up at him then, and they
acknowledged one another by the looks in their eyes and the slight
nodding gestures of their heads. Their relationship wasn't done,
but it had been severely strained, and Luke could see that. And
having that friendship/relationship between him and his son going
down the toilet was a major consequence of his actions and he knew
it, but there was no easy way to fix it, if there was a way to fix
it at all.

We are all our pasts, defined by our bad
days and questionable actions more so than we'll ever be defined by
our good days or our good deeds. We are works of badly constructed
art, sewn through on a tapestry of misery, inclined to fall prey to
our personal tragedies and the extended disasters that define our
existence. We are human, and that is bad enough, but we lead lives
that are magnets for loss and hopelessness, yet we seek the
opposite. We are destined for despair and unjust downfalls, yet we
go on. We go on, because as humans that is what we do. Nothing
more, nothing less.

Those words came back to Luke so swiftly, so
cleanly, that they almost startled him. He hadn't thought of that
passage from his favorite novel in years, well over two decades at
least, but there it was, in his mind like a well-worn pair of jeans
or gloves that you'd worn thousands of times. And those words were
true. Damning but true.

He looked at Scott, and more words came to
him.
Maybe his leaving is for the best.
Luke took a deep
breath as he watched Scott pick up his bags and head out the door
with Susan at his heels.

The only thing Luke had to be grateful for
was that the last voice he'd heard in his head had been his own,
and hadn't come from any other thing lurking in his mind, waiting
to pounce. He took his solace wherever he could.

He turned back to the food he was cooking,
happy nothing had burned.

Author's Note:

Please keep in mind that this was FICTION.
None of these people/characters exists outside of my head. They
weren't based on anyone I know, not even loosely. Also, try not to
overanalyze what happened in this story. I'm a lover of fiction and
books before I'm a writer so I understand the emotions that can
arise in a reader and which words some readers would probably use
to describe Brittney's interactions between her stepbrother and
stepfather, but all I can say is that none of this happened in real
life. Try not to look too deep, although I know that can be hard at
times, even when it's fiction; just don't give yourself a headache,
because it's not going to change the tale you just read.

With that said, I hope you liked the story.
If you added it to your Kindle, I would think that it was the sort
of the story you were into (explicit sex, etc.) and not just
something you read through to criticize even though you knew it
wasn't to your liking. You won't easily find stories like this in
traditional publishing, if at all, and I think online indie authors
are about the only way you'll get them with a simple click of your
button. This is "smut" and "not worth publishing" to most
traditional publishers, but people like a little smut sometimes, or
you wouldn't have read through the entire thing. And if you like
this story, check out all of the other titles following this
author's note.

Hint: Even though there are two different pen
names, keep in mind that the writers of all the stories share the
same brain (and vagina). But
shhh
, it's a secret.

Other Available Titles by

Moon
Lightwood
:

Unfaithful

Seduced

Innocence

Sex and Candy

The Experience

(May be purchased individually or as a set
in the Pure Lust collection)