Family Magic (10 page)

“Why not?” His beautiful eyes crinkled at the
corners as he frowned.

“Alison won’t like it,” I said as softly as I
could, worried like in magic, names had power. But nope, no wicked
witch appeared. Amazing.

“Alison doesn’t tell me who to talk to,” Brad
replied. “I’ve actually been wanting to say ‘hi’ for a while.”

I stared at him in open shock, not even aware
of the world around me. In that glorious moment, it was just me and
him. Any fantasy I imagined on my own couldn’t compare to this.

“Really?” I hated how my voice squeaked a
little. “How come?”

Brad laughed. The whole world shone like
heaven when Brad laughed.

“No reason. Is that okay?” His green eyes
gave me the most delicious shivers. It was almost too much for me
to comprehend.

“I guess,” I said. “I just find it a little
strange.”

“Why?” His turn to be confused.

“No one else seems to want to get to know
me.” As soon as I spoke, I worried I sounded like a whiner. “Small
town, hard to meet people, you know?”

He ran one hand through his glossy blonde
hair. My insides trembled as my knees went soft.

“Yeah, I get it,” he said. “It must be tough.
I grew up here, guess it’s way easier for me.”

“I guess,” I breathed, clinging to the brief
instant in time that I, Syd Hayle, was talking to the most popular
boy in school because he wanted to say hello. I knew I’d be
replaying it over and over when I made it home.

“So maybe we can go get a pizza or something
sometime,” Brad said.

And the blessed angels sang
Hallelujah. If it kept up much longer, I would need him to hold me
up. Which meant he would have to—
sigh—
touch
me and I didn’t know if I would survive it.

In the heartbeat I thought the idea could
even possibly come true, reality struck.

Alison finally arrived. I thought I was toast
before. The expression on her face could have killed a bird in
flight. I spotted her over Brad’s shoulder. I guess my flinching at
the thought of what she had planned next must have alerted him
something was wrong. By the time he turned around, Alison morphed
herself from a she-bitch from hell to perky cheerleader.

“Brad,” Alison slipped one
possessive hand through his arm, linking the other over it, a clear
and powerful sign of ownership from one girl to another. “I was
waiting for you at my locker but you didn’t come.” She formed her
perfect bow mouth into an expert pout and gazed up at him through
her fluttering eyelashes. I knew
she’d
been practicing that one in front of the mirror since
birth.

“Alison,” Brad looked away from her, actually
looked away, and back to me. “I’m talking to Syd.”

Part of me wanted to die because Brad
cemented my fate. The other part wanted to die because Brad wanted
to have pizza with me. I couldn’t tell which was worse.

Alison seemed to think she knew. Her eyes cut
through me like I wasn’t even there.

“Well, we have to go.
Everyone’s crashing at Johnny’s for burgers and you
promised
you’d take me,
remember?”

I noticed we were alone. The local kids knew
an impending explosion when they saw one. No one wanted to be
called as witnesses against Alison Morgan.

Brad reached out and removed Alison’s hands
from his arm. He took one step away from her.

“I can’t today,” he said. “I promised Syd I’d
walk her home.”

My heart leapt from my chest and to his feet.
Okay, not really, but it felt like it. On the edge of
hyperventilating, reality crashed down around me, only to be
temporarily lifted when Brad turned his attention to me. Reality
hit again and so on until I was sure I was going to pass out from
the rush.

Alison’s face showed her rage for only a
heartbeat, but I know Brad saw it. I saw it too. Heck, the entire
world saw it. I breathed in and held it.

“Since when do you walk losers home after
school?” She demanded. “Our friends are waiting for us.”

“Syd’s not a loser,” Brad was actually
becoming angry. He was so cute when he was angry. Hang on, was he
honestly defending me?

“Really,” Alison said, giving me the dirty
eyeball. “Well I say she is.”

“Get over yourself, Alison,” he said. “No one
likes a bitch.”

I had a flash of worry for him. Was he really
that naive?

Obviously, yes. Alison laughed.

“Says who?” She said, arrogant smile
condescending.

“Guess I’m a loser too, then,” Brad said,
“because I don’t.” He turned away from her. “Ready to go, Syd?”

I couldn’t believe he just did that.

Neither could Alison.

“Brad!” She pulled at his arm. “You are not!
No boyfriend of mine will ever be a loser. Ever!”

“Consider this a breakup,” he answered. Brad
reached out to me and in my total shock, I went with him. He guided
me into the echoingly empty hall beyond.

What had I gotten myself into? I glanced over
at him and saw he still looked mad. In fact, he ignored the few
kids he did know on the way out. Even the calls of his football
buddies from across the parking lot went unanswered as we hit the
sidewalk headed for my house.

Brad flashed me a boyish grin.

“Sorry you had to see that, Syd,” he
said.

“Did you really break up with Alison?” I
asked, clutching the remains of my belongings to me like a
lifeline.

“Yeah,” he said. “I guess I did.”

“Wow,” I said.

“I didn’t mean to drag you into it,” he
kicked at a piece of loose pavement as we walked. “I guess you
being there... I used you, I’m sorry.”

“No worries,” I said.

“Seriously,” he turned to me, concern on his
earnest face, “it wasn’t fair of me. It’s just... I’ve been looking
for a reason to dump her for a while.”

“Really?” I gasped. “How come?”

He shrugged, hands deep in his pockets.
“She’s just, I don’t know, not nice sometimes. Mean. Like to you.
And other people. And she treats me like she owns me. I hate that.”
He stared off, not with me at all and yet, I was happy to be there
as his sounding board.

“So what are you going to do?” I asked. “You
have all the same friends.”

“Big deal,” he said. “They won’t care.”

“You believe that?” I made a face, certain
now he was clueless.

“Don’t you?” He asked.

“No. Are you telling me you don’t know what
she will do to you after this? Never mind what she’s going to do to
me.” I shuddered and tried not to think about it.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Brad
answered.

“Brad,” I tried to get through to him.
“Alison is the queen of retaliation. She will torture you, turn
your friends against you. Probably make my life a living misery day
after day if this one is any indication.”

“You had a bad day?” I briefly considered
asking him if his mom dropped him a lot as a baby.

“I had the day from hell, thanks to your
ex-girlfriend. She was pissed at me for yesterday. You really
didn’t know?”

Brad shook his head. “I’ll talk to her, Syd.
Get her to leave you alone.”

I didn’t even try to hide the bitterness in
the bark I called a laugh.

“Do me a favor and don’t, okay? No offense,
but you’ll make things worse. If it’s even possible at this
point.”

Brad stopped walking and turned to face
me.

“Crap, Syd,” he said. “I can’t seem to get
anything right. I’m sorry about Alison. And if us being friends is
going to make things worse, I’ll leave you alone.”

It took a second for that to register. Damn!
Talk about backfire!

Before I had a chance to tell him different,
a black SUV pulled up next to us, the tinted windows rolling down.
I could hear giggling from inside the truck. A couple of football
boys leaned out.

“Hey, man, get in! Johnny’s flipping burgers
as we speak!”

Brad turned to me.

“See you around, Syd,” he said. I wanted so
much to stop him but knew I lost the battle. I turned and started
walking, refusing to watch him leave, kicking myself over and over
for being so stupid as to turn away not only the first person who
tried to be my friend but the very person I fantasized about having
as a friend in the first place.

I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised by
the derogatory remarks flying from the SUV as it sped by. Listening
to the fading laughter, I felt really hurt Brad didn’t put a stop
to it.

***

I didn’t even bother trying to hide my
dejection when I walked through the door at home. By that point, I
didn’t care one way or the other who saw me or knew. Whatever. I
told myself it didn’t matter, they couldn’t really hurt me. They
were only words and stupid rotten idiots and we’d be moving soon
anyway. I’d be able to start fresh with a new batch of horrible
people to try to avoid at all costs.

I walked into the kitchen to my mother’s
smiling face and a fresh batch of cookies.

Funny what can make you break down and sob
your heart out.

As I fell totally and utterly apart, I felt
Mom’s arms go around me. I clung to her like she was my only anchor
to the real world. As I wept into her, pouring out my frustration
and grief in huge heaves of choking tears, she held on to me and
stroked my hair.

How come we couldn’t keep that
connection?

I finally collapsed, finding one of the
kitchen chairs in time to catch myself from slipping to the floor.
Mom grabbed one of her own and pulled it up in front of me, our
knees interlocking so she could still hug me if I needed it. She
pushed my hair back from my face, fingers stroking the tears from
my cheeks while her power embraced me. I felt so safe at that
moment, so open to her I released the hold on my own power and let
her support me completely.

If she was startled by it, she didn’t show
it. In fact, if she was at all confused her daughter turned into a
wretched mess coming home from school, she was an expert at hiding
it. I snuffled and wiped at my nose with the back of my sleeve. Her
fingers twitched. A tissue manifested in her hand. I took it and
blew my nose hard, a little dizzy from the heavy crying. When I
lowered it, she disposed of it with another twitch of her fingers.
I managed a little humor through my misery.

“You could make a fortune in the sanitation
business, Mom,” I said. “No more landfills.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I shook my head, but not in denial. In
amazement. “Would you mind telling me who you are and what you did
with Miriam Hayle?”

She smiled. So not like her. Where were the
grilling questions, the third degree? Was she going to respect my
privacy and let me go to my room without unearthing why I was such
a pile of quivering goo?

Unless she already knew. But how?

“Who have you been talking to?” I asked,
suspicious. Old habits and all that.

Mom looked hurt. I regretted doubting this
new Mom, clearly trying her hardest even if I refused to meet her
half way.

“No one, honey. I just... you can tell me
when you’re ready.” She started to stand, but I grabbed her arm.
She held my hands and waited, open. I could feel it in her power,
in the way she looked at me.

Anything else and I would have run. But if
she was willing to change, so was I. Besides, who else was I going
to confide in?

I told her everything, not just about that
day but about every new school I went to, how it always started out
the same and ended in disaster. I poured out all of my hurt and
fear and pain and she listened to it without a word or complaint,
her strength never wavering, never judging me as I always feared to
be judged, because I constantly judged myself. By the time I
explained what happened with Alison and Brad, I felt a lot better.
I’m not sure if it was the fact she simply sat and listened or if
the telling helped me heal. Maybe a bit of both.

She stayed silent for a few minutes after I
finished. Finally, she went for the tray of cookies, bringing them
back to the table and setting them in front of me. I helped myself
to one, watching as she struggled over what to say.

“Syd, honey, I know how hard this is for you
and Meira,” she said. “Your sister may appear to have it easier,
but the strain of maintaining her illusion all day gets to her
after a while, not to mention the damage being done to her
self-esteem knowing she can’t be who she is and has to hide it all
the time.”

I knew I was being selfish. She didn’t need
to point it out. Still, I also knew she understood I was screwed up
over this whole thing, so I stayed quiet.

“I’m sorry this isn’t the life you would have
chosen for yourself. Believe me, Syd, if being a normal was what
you really wanted, I would move the Earth to give it to you. But
honey, I don’t think it is.”

Great. The lecture. And to think I started to
trust her.

The lecture never came. Surprise,
surprise.

“I don’t think you realize we’ve all gone
through it to one degree or another. I’m not making what you’ve
experienced any less,” she assured me, “but it seems to me you’ve
been trying so hard to belong you’re making it impossible for
yourself to fit in. Syd,” she took my hands in hers, “I know you
don’t think you want to be like us, but you do belong. And maybe if
you stopped wanting to be someone you aren’t, things would change.
If you accepted Syd for Syd, you wouldn’t spend so much time making
yourself in their image. In fact, I’m pretty sure the real Syd
wouldn’t put up with their crap for even an instant.”

The words coming out of her mouth were so
close to the thoughts I’d been thinking I wondered if she tried to
influence me or poke around in my mind. But as I stared into her
eyes, I saw she actually gave a voice to what I already knew was
true. The question remained, was I willing to do anything about
it?