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Helen took a breath. ‘Noah's fine,' she assured her. ‘Everything's fine, Noreen. I was just passing by, and I wanted to ask you a favour.'

Noreen fumbled with the lock on the flyscreen and finally opened the door. ‘Well, come in, dear. I'll make you a nice cup of tea.'

‘Oh, that's okay,' said Helen, walking towards her.

Helen saw her face drop. Of course, what did you do with visitors if you couldn't serve them a beverage of some description?

‘I'd love a cup of tea, thanks, Noreen.'

She looked relieved.

‘You have to remind me how you have it, Helen,' she said as she walked out to the kitchen. ‘I think it's been a while since I've made you a cup of tea.'

‘Who's there, Noreen?' Jim's voice came from up the hall.

‘Oh, I just have to let Dad know you're here,' she said breathlessly, hurrying out of the kitchen again to David's old room, where Jim had set up his study.

Moments later she reappeared, huddling behind Jim.

‘Hello, Helen,' he said sternly. ‘This is unexpected. Mum tells me everything's all right though?'

‘Of course, I was just passing,' said Helen.

‘I'll put that kettle on now,' said Noreen, still breathless as she trotted over to the other side of the kitchen.

‘Take a seat,' said Jim, pulling a chair out from the kitchen table and sitting down himself.

‘I was just saying to Noreen that I have a favour to ask you.'

Jim regarded her suspiciously. ‘Go ahead.'

‘I was wondering if you were able, if you're free that is, to pick up Noah from preschool this afternoon?'

Noreen had drifted over to listen, and she was smiling eagerly at the prospect.

‘I, uh, I have to do something for a friend this afternoon,' said Helen, ‘so it would be a big help to me if you could fill in some time with him, say a couple of hours? Take him to the park . . .'

‘Maybe we could take him for an ice cream,' Noreen said hopefully.

Helen looked at her. ‘Sure, take him wherever you like. He loves being with his nan and pop.'

She detected the slightest softening on Jim's face. ‘You know we're always happy to help out, Helen, any time. Now, where's that cup of tea, Mum?'

‘Oh,' Noreen said, flustered. ‘I was just wondering which biscuits to put out, the Monte Carlos or the Scotch Fingers, or there's fruitcake . . .'

Helen tuned out as they discussed the relative merits of each choice, or rather as Jim laid them out and Noreen hung off his every word, waiting for him to give his final proclamation. He was like the king of his little dominion, but Noreen was hardly the queen. Helen felt a rush of sympathy for her, or perhaps it was empathy. They were not so unalike, her and Noreen. David hadn't been nearly as domineering as his father, they were a generation apart, but Helen had been too prepared to defer to his opinion, to let him make the decisions, to give him the run of her life.

Jim and Noreen were not bad people; they'd settled into their roles and never had a reason to change. But Helen had to
wonder how Noreen would ever cope if Jim died first. And she found herself silently thankful that she was young enough to adapt, to change her life, find her feet. Even if she was still a little scared to see where they were going to take her.

Luke had said he'd be there around two, but Gemma remembered his fairly loose relationship with time, and decided not to watch the clock. So when there was a knock on the door just after one, she was a little surprised. It turned out it was only Phoebe, however.

‘I thought you might be Luke,' said Gemma when she opened the door.

‘Sorry?' Phoebe said, confused.

‘Luke's coming over later.'

‘
Luke
Luke?' she said, stepping into the hall.

‘The one and only,' Gemma replied, closing the door again.

Phoebe was staring at her, her mouth gaping. ‘Whoa, when did all this happen?'

‘Nothing's happened,' Gemma said calmly, making her way back down the hall, Phoebe trailing behind. ‘He called yesterday and asked if he could see Lola.'

‘How did he find you?'

‘I got in touch with some of our old friends months ago. They passed on the number when he came back to Sydney.'

They walked into the back room and Gemma retired to her throne as usual, while Phoebe plonked herself on the sofa.

‘So how do you feel about seeing him again?' Phoebe asked.

Gemma screwed up her face. ‘I don't know.' She paused. ‘I'm a little worried about what he's actually got in mind, if he suddenly wants to play happy families.'

Phoebe looked horrified. ‘You wouldn't take him back, would you?'

‘Give me a little credit. Doesn't anyone believe I've got a brain in my head? Even Charlie had a go at me about my life being a train wreck and not wanting to stand around and watch me do it again.'

‘I know where he's coming from,' Phoebe muttered.

‘What?'

‘Come on, Gemma, you haven't exactly got the best track record.'

‘The last thing I would do is take Luke back,' said Gemma firmly. ‘I've done some pretty stupid things in the past, I realise. But I'm not a complete idiot.'

‘No, you're not.'

‘Anyway, I doubt very much that Luke's coming here to win me back. I just wish I knew what he was after.'

‘Well, you're going to find out soon enough.' Phoebe kicked off her shoes and curled her legs up underneath her. ‘It's quiet around here. Helen at work?'

‘No, she was going to visit her mother, thank God.'

‘Why do you say that?'

‘She's been moping around the place for days. She hasn't been to work, she's barely shifted off the sofa, and when she does, she has these manic cleaning fits.'

‘What's going on?' asked Phoebe, concerned. ‘Why isn't she going to work?'

Gemma considered her. ‘I guess it's all right to tell you.'

‘Tell me what?'

‘Helen would tell you, that's if she wasn't in la-la land right now.'

‘What's going on?' Phoebe repeated anxiously.

‘Maybe I should wait and let her –'

‘Just spit it out, would you, Gemma!'

‘She slept with Myles.'

‘Woohoo,' said Phoebe, wide-eyed. ‘That's been coming for a while. So what's the problem?'

‘Remember how she didn't think it was right to date anyone, how she still felt married?' said Gemma. ‘I think that's getting to her. But she won't talk about it.'

‘Poor thing,' said Phoebe wistfully.

‘Actually, now that I think of it, she said she was going to be back before Luke gets here. I didn't want to be alone when he came, but now that you're here, maybe I should call her so she doesn't rush to get back.'

‘Fine with me,' said Phoebe. ‘I'm in no hurry.'

Gemma regarded her closely. It was midafternoon on a weekday and Phoebe was wearing jeans and a T-shirt. There was something wrong with this picture. ‘And why is that, Phee?'

‘Why is what?'

‘Why aren't you in a hurry? What are you doing here and why aren't you at work?'

‘I've got some news of my own,' Phoebe admitted sheepishly. ‘But I'm thinking this might not be the best time – there seems to be enough going on around here as it is.'

‘Well, you have to tell me now,' said Gemma. ‘I won't be able to stand the suspense.'

‘Okay.' Phoebe sat forward. ‘I suppose you've picked up that I've been feeling a little broody since you had Lola?'

‘A little?'

‘All right, a lot,' she conceded. ‘So, I had it out with Cam. I told him I wanted a baby; I wasn't going to wait.'

‘Good for you,' said Gemma. ‘As if he was going to go ahead with that stupid vasectomy threat. So what happened?'

‘He booked in for a vasectomy,' Phoebe said dryly.

‘No!'

‘So I said, you go ahead with it, Cameron. It's over: you can pack your bags.'

‘Then what?'

‘He packed his bags.'

‘Oh Phee,' Gemma said plaintively. ‘He actually left?'

‘No, actually, in the end, I did,' said Phoebe. ‘I never liked that apartment anyway.'

‘You didn't?'

‘Not really.'

Gemma was trying to take all this in. ‘So where are you staying?'

Phoebe looked a little cagey. ‘Don't get mad –'

‘You didn't go home to Mum and Dad's?' Gemma groaned.

‘Just till I find something,' Phoebe insisted.

‘But aren't you worried Cameron might rip you off somehow, if he's the one staying in the apartment?'

Phoebe shook her head. ‘We're both lawyers, don't forget. We drew up a pre-nup so watertight neither of us can sneeze without the other one blowing their nose.' She became wistful. ‘I should've known then. Who needs a pre-nup if they really believe they're in it forever? I remember I said that to Cam at the time, and he said that was romantic claptrap.' She paused, staring off into space.

‘When did this all happen, Phee?' said Gemma. ‘Why didn't you tell me before now?'

‘You'd just had a baby, Gem,' Phoebe reminded her. ‘And what could you do anyway? The last few weeks have been tough, but I just had to get through them. I really fell apart at first, but now the good days are outweighing the bad. I didn't cry all day yesterday, and not so far today.' She paused. ‘It was coming for a long time, Gem, ever since he threatened the vasectomy I knew on some level it was over. I guess I chose to bring it to a head.'

‘So what are you going to do now? Will you buy a place of your own with your share?'

‘I don't know. Sydney real estate is so expensive. And I'm not sure I want to be tied down. Besides, I may have to live off the money for a while – I might even do a little travelling.'

Gemma was confused. ‘I'm not following you.'

Phoebe heaved a big sigh. ‘I put in my resignation at work.'

‘You didn't!'

‘I did.'

‘What did Mum and Dad say?'

‘Mum and Dad are just going to have to get over it,' said Phoebe. ‘This is my life.'

‘What's happened to you, Phee?' Gemma marvelled. ‘You really have become the evil twin. And it's freaking me out.'

‘Don't be freaked out. I'm okay, I really am. It's a little weird, actually. It's made me realise how much I was kidding myself before.'

They were interrupted by a knock on the door.

‘Ooh, do you think that's him?' Phoebe gasped.

‘Only one way to find out,' said Gemma, getting up. ‘But we're going to return to this later,' she added.

This time it was Helen at the door.

‘Sorry, I gave Tony my key,' she explained when Gemma let her in. ‘I keep forgetting to get another one cut.'

‘No problem. You didn't need to hurry back as it turns out,' said Gemma as they started down the hall. ‘Phoebe's here.'

‘I don't mind,' said Helen. ‘You moved the crib in here?' she said, noticing it in the corner of the front room as they passed through.

‘Lola's asleep, so I thought I'd receive Luke in the front parlour,' Gemma said airily. ‘I don't really want him snooping through the whole house. Not till I see what he's up to.'

‘You don't have a whole lot of faith in this guy, do you?'

‘Do you blame me?'

‘Hi, Helen,' Phoebe said as they walked into the back room. She leaped up from the sofa and gave Helen a rather demonstrative hug. ‘How are you? Is everything okay?'

‘I take it Gemma's been filling you in?' Helen said wryly.

‘It hasn't all been about you,' Gemma defended. ‘In fact, it's hardly been about you at all because I don't even know what's going on with you.'

Helen didn't say anything.

‘Anyway Phoebe's got much bigger news,' said Gemma.

‘Oh?' said Helen as they all sat down again.

‘Cam and I have separated,' said Phoebe.

Helen took a moment to compute. ‘I'm so sorry, Phee,' she said, putting her hand on Phoebe's knee. ‘That's awful, are you all right?'

‘It was pretty devastating at first,' she admitted. ‘Until it occurred to me that I was never going to have a baby if I stayed with him. And it's more important for me to be with someone who wants the same things as I do. And I don't just mean a baby.'

‘What else do you mean?' Helen asked.

‘Everything. I finally realised how unhappy I've been. Things had been bad, really bad, for months, longer. People live in loveless marriages for the sake of the kids, but if we weren't even going to have kids, then what was the point? I was living this totally empty life, existing in a void, all style and no substance.'

‘So, you didn't love him any more?' asked Gemma.

Phoebe sighed. ‘I don't know, and I don't know whether Cam
ever really loved me. I think he had a mental check list of everything he wanted in a wife, and I filled it. He had a check list for his whole life. The right kind of friends, the right apartment, career, wife, tick tick tick tick. So when I started going off the script, wanting something messy like a baby, he just wasn't prepared to go along with it.'

Gemma was strangely relieved to hear Phoebe talking like this. Not that she wanted her sister's marriage to end, but at least she wasn't such a bitch for never liking Cameron after all. He really was a king-size dickhead.

‘Hey Gem,' Phoebe went on, ‘I know you've said this to me before, but I didn't listen, or I didn't want to hear it. But I've been working so hard all my life doing what other people wanted me to do, I've never worked out what I wanted. I'm shit-scared, but maybe now I'll get a chance to do that.'

‘That's very brave, Phoebe,' said Helen quietly.

They both turned to look at her.

‘Thanks, Helen. I don't know if I'm feeling all that brave right now.'

‘But moving on,' said Helen. ‘It's so hard, I don't know how people do it . . .' Her voice trailed off, and they waited to see if she would say anything else, but she didn't.

‘Come on, Helen,' said Gemma, ‘you've moved on, you've done some amazing things.'

Helen looked over at her. ‘Oh, sure, you're talking about work . . . and that . . .'

Her head was obviously somewhere else altogether.

‘Myles seems like a pretty great guy,' said Phoebe carefully.

‘He is,' Helen agreed. ‘He really is . . . it's just . . .' Her forehead creased in deep concentration. Finally she gave up. ‘It's hard to explain.'

‘You could give it a try,' said Gemma. ‘We're not going anywhere.'

They were interrupted by another knock at the door.

‘Or maybe I am.' She looked apologetically at Helen. ‘Sorry, I have to get that.'

‘Of course you do,' said Helen. ‘Go ahead.'

Gemma got to her feet and took a deep breath. ‘Wish me luck.'

‘Just remember you're too good for him,' said Phoebe. ‘And he's really bad for you.'

As Gemma walked up the hall to the front door, she realised she was nervous about seeing Luke in the flesh after so long. But when she opened the door, she got a shock: her heart didn't jump or miss a beat or any of those callisthenics it was supposed to do at a time like this. In fact, looking at Luke now, Gemma honestly had to wonder what she'd ever seen in him. He was a scrawny, stringbean of a man, with straggly hair and an even stragglier goatee, in grubby jeans and a ripped T-shirt. Not that she cared about any of that, really. Though if he wanted to touch Lola he was going to have to wash those hands first.

‘Hey, Gem, lookin' wicked, babe.'

God, had she really fallen for corn like that?

‘Thanks, Luke, good to see you too. Come on in.' She stepped back and he walked inside, taking a good gawk around.

‘Cool digs.'

‘Yeah, well I'm only boarding here,' she said, making her situation perfectly clear. ‘The baby's just through here.' Gemma led the way into the front room and over to the crib. She stood aside and Luke walked closer, peering down at the baby.

‘I named her Lola Helen,' Gemma went on. ‘Lola after my grandmother; I don't know if you remember me talking about her? And Helen's my landlady; she ended up delivering her, right here in the house, she came so fast. She was 3.4 kilos born, but she's put on stacks of weight since then. The clinic sister is really pleased with her progress.' Gemma didn't know why she was talking so fast.

‘She's awesome,' Luke said, nodding. ‘Looks like you.'

‘Do you think?'

He shrugged. ‘Sure.'

He didn't seem inclined to touch her, much less hold her. Gemma was relieved, although she had expected a bit more than a passing interest. What was he doing here? She offered him a seat.

‘So are you happy, babe?' said Luke, dropping into an armchair opposite her.

She really wanted to tell him to stop calling her that, but she didn't want to seem snippy.

‘I am happy,' she said.

‘You're glad you kept her then?' He cocked his head towards the crib.