Falling In Love Again (Heroic Rogues Series) (14 page)

“I cannot answer that, but it’s what I suspect, as well.” Marcus released a pent up breath and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms.

“What are we going to do?”

Marcus wished he knew. Despair sank deep within him like a boulder in the sea. He should kill her. If he had discovered this information on the first day, he would have. Things have changed now. The spy had captured his heart, and although she conspired with the Royal Navy, his enemy, he couldn’t seem to give the order to have her killed. Yet he must.

“Are you going to let Miss Stanhope know we are onto her little secret?” Gabe folded his arms.

“No. I’ll act as if nothing happened.” Marcus collected the maps then stuffed them into a trunk and locked it.

“What are you going to do about Miss Stanhope?”

Marcus stood and faced his friend. Agony gripped Marcus’ chest as he fingered the dagger still clutched in his hand. His throat squeezed tight with emotion. “She must die for what she’s done. There’s no other way.”

Chapter Nine

Marcus stood on the porch, clutching the wooden railing. The sun slowly dipped beyond the horizon, creating a beautiful orange and red sky. It looked like a storm was brewing. Although the scenery was surreal, agony gripped his heart.

He must kill Isabelle.

The longer he thought about ending her life, the more the ache in his chest grew almost to the point of suffocation. He devised plans in his head on how to go about doing it, but each way left a bitter taste of bile in his mouth. His stomach churned with indecision.

Logically, he knew he couldn’t kill her, and it had nothing to do with the time they’d spent together. He just couldn’t kill someone that might know about the navy’s plans. If Isabelle were indeed a spy, she’d know secrets that would help Captain Hawk obtain his revenge.

Wavy sandy colored hair blowing in the breeze captured his attention as Isabelle crossed the yard with Monkey. The boy motioned his hands in big circles, telling her some interesting story. The lad tended to over dramatize everything. Her eyes widened and remained on the boy. Marcus couldn’t help but grin. Indeed, she was very innocent. Although now he knew she played her part well. No wonder the Royal Navy decided to make her a spy.

Monkey smiled, which made Isabelle laugh. She slid an arm around the boy’s shoulders and hugged him. Marcus’ stomach clenched. Already he missed her sweet laughter.

When she pulled away from Monkey, her gaze jumped up and met Marcus’. She smiled and gave him a small wave. His heart leapt, and he cursed the reaction. He couldn’t let his feelings discourage him from what he needed to do. Hardening his heart against her was the only way to survive.

Monkey pointed at a distance through the thicket of trees surrounding Marcus’ hideout, which took Isabelle’s attention off Marcus. He didn’t want her knowing his plans, but how could he act as if nothing happened? How could he refrain from shaking her senseless for her traitorous actions without wanting to pull her in his arms and kissing her endlessly?

Her head snapped in his direction again, her eyes wide. She said something to Monkey before leaving his side and striding toward Marcus. He gripped the railing harder and took a deep breath. Pretending would start now.

“Captain Hawk?” Her voice lifted as she climbed the steps. “Monkey tells me I’ll be returning to New York tomorrow.”

“Yes.”

“May I ask why?”

Indeed, she was a gifted actress, because she almost appeared to be saddened over the news. She frowned, and her eyes held no light in them.

“There is still much I need to do,” he told her. “We need to return to New York to get more supplies.”

She stepped closer and touched his shoulder. It took all of his control not to yank her into his arms.

“What, may I ask, have you planned for me?”

Inhaling deeply, he reminded himself to act as if nothing was wrong… as if he was still the love-struck fool. “You’ll be released, just as I have promised, my dove.”

“I see. Will you still find a solicitor to help me with my father’s estate?”

“Indeed. I know a man who will help you. I’ll contact him immediately after we arrive.” He stroked her cheek and forced a smile. “Have I not followed through with my promises?”

“Of course. It’s not that, it’s just—” She bit her bottom lip and looked away. Tears gathered in her eyes and she blinked them away.

His heart wrenched. Why was she doing this? And why wasn’t he strong enough to fight the attraction between them? He couldn’t let her get to him. She was a spy for the Royal Navy, and a mighty good one at that.

“What’s wrong, my dove?” With his fingers under her chin, he turned her face back toward him.

No twinkle touched her eyes when a smile wavered on her face. Her drab expression tugged at his heart, and he willed it not to affect him so.

“I’d hoped… Well, I have become rather fond of you, and it has been quite enjoyable being with you.”

He threw back his head and laughed, even if humor wasn’t the emotion. “Oh, my dear, Isabelle. Are you saying you want to join my crew of cutthroats?”

She scowled. “Well, of course not.”

“So tell me why you’d want to stay with me if not to become a highwayman?”

She stared at him with wide eyes. He knew why she wanted to stay, and if he hadn’t found the secret message in the dagger, he might have invited her to be his mistress. Thankfully, he stopped before making such a stupid mistake.

“I—I hoped you wanted me to stay,” she said in a low voice.

“Ah, but my lovely, there’s only one reason for you to stay.” He slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. “But alas, my life has more meaning than just frolicking with a passionate woman.”

She huffed and pushed away from him. “Is that all I am? Just your entertainment?”

He shrugged. “What more could there be, my dove?”

Tears filled her eyes again before she swung away from him, marching into the house. His heart dropped the further away she moved. He would have wanted to be with her all the time, loving her and raising babies. But not now.

Not ever.

* * * *

She must change his mind.

Isabelle swiped the tears falling down her cheeks as she hurried into her room and closed the door. Wasn’t he getting closer to her as she was to him? Sometimes the way he acted, it was as if his heart softened the more they were together. Every time he’d kissed her, he’d put so much emotion into it. She knew for certain she loved him, but could she convince him he felt the same way?

She fell on the bed and curled her knees to her chest, staring at the wall. Only a few hours to convince him. A few hours to show him she was the woman who’d change his life.

Perhaps if she could remove his mask…

Her heart beat with renewed life as she sat up. Was that the key? If she knew his real identity, he couldn’t possibly let her go. She smiled. That’s what she’d do. Somehow she’d get him to relax enough for her to remove his mask.

She scrambled off the bed and changed her clothes into the red silk gown he’d given her. Tonight she had to be the most charming, most passionate woman he’d ever encountered.

She didn’t hurry through fixing her hair, because there was still time to waste before Hawk retired for the night. He couldn’t know about her plans. Not until she was ready.

Time passed slowly, and she paced the small space in her room. Hawk hadn’t called for her. Wasn’t it time for the evening meal? Nervousness twisted in her stomach and made it impossible to eat, let alone think of food right now.

When she couldn’t stand it anymore, she left her room and walked the few steps to his. Moisture gathered on her palms, and she swiped them down the sides of the dress to dry her skin. Her heart knocked a quick rhythm against her ribs as she put her hand on the doorknob. Before she lost her courage, she pushed the door open.

He stood next to the small desk holding a sheet of paper. His head jerked toward her. She waited for him to say something, but he didn’t. His gaze darkened, but it was a different color than what she’d been used to seeing. Instead of tenderness in his eyes, anger coated them as if he wanted to shoot fire at her.

Convincing herself she wasn’t the reason for his anger, she walked further into the room on shaky legs and shut the door behind her. His attention dropped from her face to slide over her gown. Within seconds, his dark eyes became the color she remembered. Passionate and soft.

He placed the paper he’d been reading on the desk and turned toward her, still not saying a word. The silence bothered her, and she wished she could read his expression. Since earlier that evening when they were outside, his eyes had held the most confusing emotions, and she couldn’t determine what was wrong. She wanted to scream until he explained why he acted in such a way.

She cleared her throat. “You didn’t call for me to bring your dinner.”

“I had no appetite this evening.”

He answered too short and clipped.

“Then would you like me to ready you for bed?”

“No need. I can manage by myself.” He turned back to his desk and shuffled through papers.

His rude dismissal left a hole in her heart and tightened her chest so she almost couldn’t breathe. Tears pricked her eyes again, but she refused to shed them. His behavior was unacceptable. She must find out why he treated her in such a way, and change his attitude. She had to make him love her.

On unsteady legs, she walked behind him and ran her hand up his arm. He stiffened, but didn’t say anything. Taking this as a good sign, she pressed on and rubbed her palm up and down his muscles.

“Hawk.” Her voice came out low. “I want to do this for you. If this is our last night together, I want to remember it… forever.”

Tears collected in her eyes and she quickly blinked them away. She couldn’t let him see how this affected her. Not yet.

Hawk remained stiff for a few silent minutes. Her heart pounded in a fierce rhythm. Surely, he would hear.

He breathed a deep sigh before turning to face her. This time when he looked into her eyes, pity laced their depths. She couldn’t decide whether to become upset, or hold her tongue. She chose the latter.

His gaze roamed her face, and hair. He grasped her shoulders as his thumbs rubbed circles on her skin. Tingles erupted, just as they always did whenever he touched her. She never wanted to be without this feeling again, but she feared he wanted to end everything.

“You’re very beautiful tonight, my dear.”

His tight voice let her know he fought his feelings. But why? “Thank you, Hawk. I wore this for you.”

The corner of his mouth lifted in a grin. “For me?”

She closed the space between them and ran her palms up his chest, then linked her fingers around his neck. “I think you know why.”

He brought up his hand to cup her face, his thumb drawing lazy circles near her mouth. “I do.”

With soft strokes, she ran her fingertips along his mask. “Can you not tell how much I have come to care for you?”

His smile disappeared, pulling his lips straight. Even the color of his eyes hardened, so she quickly continued, “You have made me feel secure unlike any man has ever done before. I do not want to lose this feeling, Hawk.”

Groaning, he pulled her tight and crushed his mouth to hers. Her heart soared and she clung to him. Sighing heavily, she enjoyed his wild kiss, but then he pulled away. When he stepped back, emptiness filled her chest.

He scrubbed his chin. “No, Isabelle. I have too much to do tonight.” He met her stare. Softly, he brushed his knuckles across her cheek. “Return to your room and rest.”

When he turned away from her, tears filled her eyes and she couldn’t stop them this time. He had crushed her heart and she didn’t know how to mend it. Dejectedly, she hurried toward the door. As soon as she placed her hand on the knob, she stopped. Once she walked out, that would be the end. If she couldn’t get him to change his mind now, she never would.

Swallowing the thick lump of emotion gathering in her throat, she turned around, pressing her back against the door for strength. He stood still, facing away from her. His body was too stiff. Obviously, something bothered him. Something she needed to fix.

“Hawk?”

Slowly, he turned toward her. No smile lit his face. Her heart sank further.

“Please –” She took a deep breath. “Please tell me what’s amiss. Why… why are you acting this way? What have I done?”

Her voice cracked and she covered her mouth with her hand, not wanting to show him her quivering lips. But her whole body quaked with the sobs she held back. He’d be blind not to notice.

He shook his head as he walked toward her, stopping mere inches away. With gentle fingers, he stroked her cheek. “You did nothing, my dear. Forgive me for acting like this, but much is on my mind.” A tear slipped down her face and before she could wipe it, he brushed his fingers across her cheek, catching it. “Please don’t cry.”

She grasped his hand and kissed his palm, keeping his gaze locked with hers. “You’re pushing me away, and I want to know why.”