Falling In (3 page)

“Look,
maybe I didn’t really care.”

He
started to get visibly agitated.  Though Audrey knew that she was playing with
fire, all of the anger and resentment that was pushed to the back of her mind
needed some kind of release.  She had too many words for him.  Hell, she had
emotions for which words didn’t even exist.

She was
fortunate, in a way.  All of those words were dammed up just behind her lips as
a barrage of “fuck you”, “go to hell” and other colorful phrases jockeyed to be
the first ones out.  Because of that, she sat there like a kettle about to
scream.

Max
pushed himself up but kept his palm planted firmly on the marble between them.

“Maybe,”
he said with a lower, slower and more deliberate tone.  His drunken slur was
almost undetectable.  “I want a divorce because I didn’t care then and I don’t
care now.”

His
vile, contemptuous words cut through Audrey like a blade.  Never once had she
seen him act this way: like an animal out for blood.  It was like someone
flipped a switch and sent him into attack mode.  Even his eyes didn’t look the
same.  Their usual sheen was gone and made his normally light brown irises look
as dark as chocolate.

Audrey
watched him cautiously and tried to convince herself that it was just the poor
lighting.  But as they sat there and sized each other up for a silent few
minutes, a creeping uneasiness started to grip her.  He looked much angrier
than anything that she remembered.

Audrey
snatched the framed picture of their wedding day up and forced it just an inch
from his nose.

“And
what about this,” she screamed.  “What about the promises that you made to me? 
I’ve given you everything, Max, and now you’re just spitting on all of it like
it was nothing.”

Max
yanked the picture from her arm, raised it up, and smashed it back down onto
the counter.  Splinters of wood and sparking bit of glass exploded from under
his clenched hand as their battered portrait fluttered to the floor by Audrey’s
feet.

When she
looked up, Max still gripped the only solid piece of the frame in his hand. 
From it, a steady pattering of blood started to fall.  It landed on the broken
pieces and spread seamlessly through the glittering glass.

Audrey
only took one step back, but that was all that it took to draw Max’s cold,
blank stare to her.  It was a look that a person only sees a handful of times
in their life; that thousand-yard stare of someone who is no longer human;
someone who has resigned to the animal nature that most people try so hard to
keep in check.

Her
heart fell into the pit of her stomach.  She wasn’t dealing with Max anymore.

Before
she could retreat, he lunged around the corner.  Audrey made it as far as the
oven when she felt his hot, bloody hand close around her arm.  Little bits of
glass that were still wedged in his palm tore through the delicate skin of her
wrist.

She
yelped with surprise and tried to jerk her limb away, but that only made it
worse.  The biting cuts opened up even deeper, allowing a sticky mix of their
blood to start to roll over her flesh.

Max spun
her around and grabbed both of her shoulders.

“You
started this,” he insisted and threw her back.

Audrey’s
feet went out from under her as she flew a short distance and slammed up
against the stove.  Her body smashed into the white top and fell to the right,
forcing the side of her head to smack into the cabinets nearby.  Like a rag
doll, her body sank down onto the floor as the few lights that were on in the
house started to dance and swirl.  At the very edges of her sight, she could
see a looming circle of black that started grow.

Closing
her eyes, she listened as Max stomped back out to the garage and started up his
car.  It peeled out at the end of the driveway and sped off into the night.

Only
then did she allow herself to cry.

Shaking
her head to try and clear the cobwebs, she pulled herself up into a sitting
position and let her head hang low.  Soon, her gentle sobs transformed into
all-out wails of misery.  A steady rush of tears flooded down onto her lap,
where her bloody wrist sat limp.  It soaked up the brackish liquid and made her
entire arm feel like it was on fire.

Audrey
wrapped both hands around her throbbing head and bawled.  The moment that Max
put his hands on her, time slowed to a stop.  Her job, their rent, the
recession and even the arguments that they had before fell to the way-side.  It
was that one simple act--one shove--that stormed to the forefront of her
conscience and kept her there on the floor for hours as she wept and bled,
alone.

It was
almost midnight when Audrey’s desperate cries started to die down and she
slipped her phone from the pocket of her jeans.  Through her swollen eye lids,
she could see just enough to dial back the last incoming call: Kim.

“Hello?”

She
sounded groggy.

“Hey. 
Sorry to call so late, but I wanted to talk to you.”

“Okay,”
she said with a groan.  Audrey could hear her sheets rustle on the other end as
she sat up in bed and clicked on a lamp.  “What’s wrong?”

“I think
that I might need to get out of town for a little while.”

Kim
gasped on the other end and asked, “Are you in trouble or something?”

“No,”
Audrey said with a little laugh.  “Not like that, anyway.  Things here have
been a little rough and I think that the Cedar Bay air could help me clear my
thoughts.”

“Cedar
Key.”

“What?”

“The
town I live in.  It’s called Cedar Key, not Bay.  But that’s okay; you’re going
to love it.”

“Oh,”
Audrey responded, sounding a little embarrassed.  “Sorry.”

“Don’t
even worry about it.  Once you’re here for a while, the residents will make
sure that you have it right.”  She took a deep breath and exhaled into the
phone.  “They’re a unique bunch.”

“So when
do you want me to come?”

“As soon
as you can.  I’ll even pay you back for the cost of the ticket.  I’m supposed
to head out tomorrow night and would like to at least give you a tour of the
house before I go.”

Audrey
eyed the clock over the stove, though it really didn’t matter what time it
was.  With two massive airports less than an hour away, there was always a
flight heading to anywhere that she could possibly want to go.

“Okay,”
she answered and squeezed her eyes shut.  “I’ll call you when I get to the
airport and let you know when I’ll be there.  Sorry for calling you so late.

“Sounds
good,” she said and yawned loudly.  “And maybe you can finally tell me what’s
on your mind.  I know something’s up.”

“Maybe,”
Audrey echoed.  “I’ll talk to you soon.”

“See
ya.”

She
shoved the phone back into her pocket and finally peeled herself off of the
tile floor.  Within a half an hour she packed up one of her suitcases--one that
she used on their summer vacation to Italy the year before--and started toward
the door.  Back in the kitchen on her way to the garage, her determined steps
ground to a halt.

Audrey
let go of the retractable handle on her bag and cradled her left hand in the
right one.  She looked down and eyed her modest wedding ring.  Even though she
knew that it was just a hunk of metal and stone, looking at it made her want to
break down and cry again.  There were so many memories tied up in that small
token of her husband’s now dead affection that it quickly started to feel like
more of a burden than anything else.

She
closed her eyes and wrenched the shining band off.  It tinkered softly against
the counter top after rolling out of Audrey’s palm and came to rest amidst the
shattered glass, splintered wood and blood.

Maybe
this isn’t such a bad idea.

Chapter
3

As the
nearly-empty plane dipped down for its final descent during the early morning
hours, Audrey tightly gripped the right sleeve of her sweater to cover the mess
of red wounds.  Even though she knew that the weather was going to be hot, the
last thing that she wanted was questions about what happened.  Not yet, anyway.

She
stared out of the tiny window from her seat at the front of the plane.  Down
below, the rugged Florida coastline whipped by, inching ever closer as the
aircraft approached its final destination: Gainesville.  Within minutes, the
small tires screeched and the cabin bounced.  It was a sure sign that they were
finally safe on the ground.

It was a
bittersweet feeling, but one that was heavy with relief.  Even if she was going
to go back and try to work things out with Max, Audrey needed to be far, far
away from him for a while.  After what he did, however, she thought that the
chances of that were unbelievably slim.

Without
much of a wait, Audrey and the handful of other passengers filed out of the
cabin and made their way through the small airport.  By most standards, the
place was downright tiny.  With only two runways and a single terminal, Gainesville
regional airport was the closest to Cedar Key, even though it was still an hour
and a half away.

In a
way, Audrey was glad.  A small airport meant less people to deal with, and less
people to deal with meant that there would even fewer people to ask her
questions.  It was getting harder and harder for her to keep the sweater sleeve
where it covered everything.

Even
inside the airport, the air was sticky and heavy.  It clung to the thick wool
of her top and made it feel like the thing was soaked through within minutes. 
Audrey struggled through the short hall and down an escalator, clawing at the
neck like it was strangling her.

At the
bottom of the moving stairs, her old friend, Kim, leaned against the small
“Arrivals” screen with one foot propped up against it.  A heavier woman with an
all-around bulky frame, Kimberly Parsons was a master of carrying her extra
weight well.  She had a sloping, shapely figure that--despite her bigger
size--made men go crazy.  Between that and her curly, long locks that matched
the mocha hue of her eyes, Kim had a unique beauty that was all her own.

When she
caught sight of her beat-down looking friend, she screeched and jumped forward,
making her brown spirals bounce about her head.

“Audrey!”

Still
careful not to let her scarred wrist slip into view, Audrey scrambled toward
her friend and fell like a leaf into her strong embrace.

Kim
stroked her head.  Even though she didn’t know any of the sordid details, the
two knew each other well enough for her to know that something was very, very
wrong.  She held her friend close and the two rocked back and forth silently.

After a
minute or two, Kim whispered into Audrey’s ear, “What happened?”

She was
still unable to go into it, not while they were standing in the middle of an
airport.

“Let’s
get my bag and get out of here.  We can talk in the car.”

Kim
finally released her and took a step back.

“Sounds
good.”

Audrey
claimed her lone bag from the rotating belt and followed her friend to her
car.  Even after they were inside and well on their way, neither one of them
said anything.  Instead of sparking up a conversation, Audrey stared out of the
window and clung desperately to the end of her sweater sleeve.

The low,
marshy landscape flew by with a kind of monotony that Audrey found peaceful. 
Several yards back from the highway, spotty clumps of trees and random lakes
broke up the endless green with even deeper shades of the same hue.  Every half
mile or so, rickety-looking billboards popped up.  They advertised everything
from alligator farms to alligator jerky, the latter of which made Audrey heave
a little the first time she saw it.

More
than half way home, Kim finally broke the silence.

“Audrey?”

She
glanced down and checked her sleeve before she finally turned to face her friend. 
The thought of dealing with tough questions wasn’t exactly appealing, but she
knew that they were coming.

“Yeah?”

Her eyes
still locked on the highway, Kim paused and asked with all seriousness, “Why
are you dressed like Frosty the Snowman?”

Audrey
burst into a fit of laughter so intense that it made the corners of her sore
eyes sparkle with tears.  Of all the things that she was expecting, a question
like that took her completely by surprise.

It
wasn’t until almost two miles later that she regained enough composure to wipe
off her cheeks with her sleeves and respond, “I haven’t been feeling very
well.  That’s all.”

Technically
it wasn’t a lie.

Kim
turned briefly to size her up and guided the car off of the highway.

“Are we
already there?”

“Ha,”
Kim laughed.  “Cedar Key is about sixty miles from here, so I suggest that you
get comfortable.  We don’t have a major highway like that one.”

Audrey
looked out the front window to the long, winding road in front of them and
settled down into her seat.  The muscles in her stomach were already sore from
her little episode, but she didn’t mind.  Of all the pain that came her way, it
was easily the most pleasant.

As the
I-75 faded into the brightening horizon in the car’s mirrors, she guided the
conversation in a different direction, “What have you been doing down here,
exactly?  I get the feeling that there isn’t much around.”

“And
you’d be right,” she responded.  “I’ve been doing work for the authority that
oversees the nature preserves in the area.  Everything is done digitally now,
so I’m able to live in Cedar Key and do almost everything that they need from
home.  It’s not a bad deal, really.”

The two
women fell back into a silence, though the mood between them was diffused
enough to allow Audrey to drift off to sleep with her head pressed against the
door and her battered wrist tucked tightly under leg.

---

The loud
snapping of Kim setting her car’s parking brake dragged Audrey back to the
world of the living.  Much to her surprise, her nap was mostly dreamless and
peaceful, though it was frequently punctuated by the throbbing heat that her
thick sweater inflicted.

“We’re
here,” she said and killed the engine.

Both of
the car’s doors groaned loudly as the women got out.  Careful to use her “good”
arm, Audrey grabbed her suitcase out of the back and struggled to keep it
upright as the wheels bumped and hopped over the rocky soil leading up to a
short staircase.  Above that, Kim’s two-story house sat peacefully a few feet
off of the ground with a rickety porch that lined it all the way around.  The
wood panels covering the void between house and ground were worn through in
more than one place, allowing her to get a look at the thick wooden beams that
supported everything.  Like the rest of the home, they looked ancient.

She
lifted her bag and joined Kim at the top of the stairs, wiping away the sweat
on her brow with her arm.

“Welcome
home.”

Without
even unlocking the door, Kim threw it open and led them into a small foyer. 
Near the far wall where the stairs to the second story waited, she dropped her
purse onto a long, narrow table full of wildflowers that were pressed and dried
between small panes of glass.

“So do
you want the tour?”

Audrey
closed the front door and shoved the uncooperative suitcase against the wall
with her foot.

“That
would be great.”

The
downstairs portion of the house was like one big circle, starting with the
living room to the left.  Clockwise from there was the small kitchen, dining
room and Kim’s office, which led back to the foyer.

Upstairs,
a short hallway lined with framed sketches of the local flora held two bedrooms
on one side and a surprisingly large bathroom on the other.  Kim led her to the
second door on the left.

“I
didn’t have a whole lot of time to decorate,” she said and threw it open.

As soon
as Audrey set foot in the room, she swore that she could feel her blood
pressure drop by a few points.  Decorated mostly in subtle greens and blues
with white-washed furniture and a big, plush bed near the center, the space
evoked the beachy carelessness that she wanted so desperately to escape to.  In
the window at the end of the room, carefully-hung lines of assorted colors of
sea glass cast colorful, dancing spots all over.

“Wow,”
Audrey said.  “It’s great.”

“I’m
glad you like it.”  Kim paused before continuing, “Do you want some coffee or
something?  I have to get out of here within the next hour.  Oh and I have some
cash downstairs for you, too.”

“Yeah,”
she replied and tried her best to look away from the undulating blobs of color
as a warm, fresh breeze whistled through the dozen or so thin strings that hung
there.  “Coffee would be nice.”

The
women started back down with Kim still leading away.  When they were back where
they started, she went over to where she left her purse and started to rummage
through it.

“It’s in
here somewhere.  Just a sec.  I’m only supposed to be out there for two weeks,
but you know how that goes.”

Once she
managed to dig it out, Kim quickly turned and handed over a small envelope. 
Without thinking, Audrey reached for it, allowing the sleeve of her sweater to
easily hike up and reveal what she had tried so hard to cover earlier.

“There’s
a little extra in there, just so you can get settled and not have to worry
about-”

When Kim
gasped, Audrey immediately realized her mistake.  She jammed the money into the
pocket of her denim shorts and took a step back.

“What
happened to you?”

She
sighed and pulled the sweater off--it was already too late by then--and let it
fall in a pool near her dirty sneakers.  The relief from the heat was instant,
though it didn’t feel as good as it should have.  Still struggling to maintain
her composure, Audrey sighed and finally forced the truth from between her
quivering lips, “It’s over, Kim.”

Her
friend walked closer, but approached carefully.

“What’s
over?”

“Everything.”

“You
didn’t...”

She
glanced down to her wrist, not realizing until she got a good look at the
wounds that it kind of looked like she tried to kill herself.

“Oh no,”
she withdrew her arm and hid it slightly behind her back.  She was starting to
feel a little too exposed; just a bit too vulnerable.  “I didn’t do this.”

Kim’s
hand finally closed around her shoulder, though it did so with an air of
trepidation.

“Then
what’s going on?  Seriously,” she said and gave her a little shake.  “Please
tell me.”

With a
sigh of defeat, Audrey let it all spill out.

“Max and
I are getting a divorce, which he decided to tell me on the same day that KWP
sent me packing.  He came home drunk, we started to fight and he smashed a
picture.  That’s how this happened,” she said and held up her arm.

Kim
squeezed her shoulders as she guided them toward the kitchen.

“Jesus,
Audrey.  Do you need to go to the hospital?”

She
shook her head and let her friend lower her into a chair near the sink.  From
the cabinets under it, Kim produced a small first aid kit and snapped the lid
open.

“Are you
sure?  Can you still move your hand?”

“Yeah,”
she closed her eyes and let Kim position her arm over the sink.

The
cold, tingling burn of hydrogen peroxide spread through her wrist as Kim poured
it over the cuts.  She clenched her teeth and sucked the humid air through,
trying her best to hold still as the bubbles tickled and pricked the raw flesh.

Kim
lifted her arm up and examined it closely with a grimace.

“I don’t
see any more glass in there.”  She paused and loudly knocked some things
around.  “I’m going to bandage you up, okay?”

Audrey
nodded and opened her eyes to watch.  Even with the quick rinse that she just
got, the handful of cuts already looked much better.  Before long, they
disappeared completely under a plain, beige wrap.

When she
was done, Kim screwed the top back onto the brown bottle of peroxide and pushed
it toward the back of the counter with everything else.  She leaned closer,
forcing their eyes to make contact.

“Are you
sure you’re okay?  I can stay with you if you need me to.”

“I’m
fine,” she said with a bland tone that surprised even her.  After all that
happened, she was finding it harder and harder to feel anything.  The constant
sensation of being on the brink of a meltdown faded at some point, leaving
behind a numb, almost distant disposition in its wake.  “I honestly think that
some time alone is the best thing right now.”