Falling In (9 page)

              My hand feels like it’s asleep, with pins and needles spreading throughout my fingers. I clutch it to my chest, then with a sigh, grab all of the plates off the picnic table and follow Jake inside to the kitchen.

              Only, he isn’t there when I walk in. I place the plates on the counter, hunger long forgotten, and walk down the hallway to the living room. It’s empty as well. I should be relieved, thankful that I don’t have to keep my guard up and fight this internal war any longer today. But I’m not. All I feel is cold. And empty, like this room. I sit down on the couch and stare off into nothing. When I finally snap out of it, I notice my phone on top of my laptop. It lights up from an awaiting text message. I pick it up cautiously, noting the unknown number and read:

              Unknown Contact: I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye. But                                                                                     you know I had to before I did something                                                                                     you aren’t ready for yet. I took the book                                                                                     with me. I’ll finish it tonight and bring it over                                                                       tomorrow morning. So far, it is honestly the                                                                       best of the three. You should be beyond                                                                                     proud, Evangeline. Text me back                                                                                                   whenever. Jake.

I reread the message at least ten times.
I had to before I did something you aren’t ready for.
What did he want to do?
Kiss me?

More?

My heart starts pounding just at the thought.
Should I text him back?
I don’t even know what I would say. Besides, that definitely feels inappropriate. Although, I’m pretty positive we’re way passed inappropriate.
I mean, I should thank him for today, right?
For helping me edit. It’s the friendly thing to do.

Yeah, Evie. Keep telling yourself that.

I decide to text him back.

            
 
Evie: Hey Jake. It’s ok that you left. It was probably for                                                         the best anyway. Thank you for today, tho. I truly                                                                       appreciate your help. But maybe from now on we                                           should keep our distance. You know, only see                                                         each other when the kids are together. I think                                                         it’s the smart decision.

I press
send
and wait.

It’s been five minutes, and still no response. I sit, glaring at my phone, willing for it to beep, but it does absolutely nothing.

After ten minutes of silence, I grab my phone with a sigh and start to head upstairs when there’s a knock at the door. I pause mid-step, turn around slowly, and open the door. Jake is standing there, looking like he’s on a mission. I’m guessing that mission is me.
Fuck.
Barging through the door, he shuts it softly behind him and walks right past me. We both turn to face each other. My back is now to the door he just stormed through.

              “You don’t mean that.” He says with conviction and no preamble. His eyes blaze through mine.

              “Yes I do.” I try to come off as confident as he did, but my voice wavers with uncertainty.

              I never was a good liar.

              He takes that opportunity to step closer and closer, until he’s got me pushed up against the door. I get a sudden flash of déjà vu again. Remembering my dream from the night before, my whole body flushes with heat. I close my eyes and take a deep but shaky breath. I can feel him closing in on me. His body is just barely pressing into mine, but I can still feel his hardness against the top of my skirt.

              He puts his mouth near my ear and whispers, “No. You don’t. You don’t want to stop seeing me. I can feel how much you don’t want to stop. Your body shudders every time I’m near you. You want me just as much as I want you. And Evangeline, I want you so fucking badly.”

              He trails the tips of his fingers leisurely down my arms until he reaches my wrists. Grabbing them, he pulls them up and pins them above my head, keeping them locked with one hand. I am wet and hot and so fucking terrified of what he’s going to do next. I know I should be pulling away, yelling at him to stop, slapping him, for fuck’s sake—
but I can’t
. My body is humming for him.
I want this
. I want
him
. This is so wrong, but damn, it feels so right.

We’re just staring at each other, waiting for one of us to do the right thing. He must see the battle in my eyes because before I can tell him to just kiss me already, he’s pulling away and taking a step back. I whimper at the loss. His chest is heaving erratically, which I know for a fact matches my own. I blow out a breath, feeling disappointed. But at the same time, I’m relieved.

Goddess, I’m such a mess.

              “I’ll see you later,” he croaks out, looking dazed.

              I can’t find my voice. I just gulp, nod, and turn around to open the door. He takes one last longing look at me before leaving. I shut the door and slowly make my way over to the couch, sit down, and can’t help the huge ass Cheshire cat smile that spreads across my face.

              He almost kissed me. He wants me. Badly.

I knew he’d be trouble.

Jake

I
knew
that girl would be trouble. I can’t believe I almost kissed her.

What the hell am I talking about?

Of course I almost kissed her. She’s a goddess, and doesn’t even know it. I’ve been sporting at least a semi hard-on all fucking day. But right now, I am so hard, I swear I’m going to poke a hole in these jeans. She’s turning me into fifteen-year old boy again, ready to come with just a glance my way. Those eyes, man, those chocolate eyes can see into me like a magnifying glass. The eyes that screamed
kiss me
will haunt my dreams tonight. I wanted to kiss her, to feel her and claim her for myself, but those same eyes that begged for me to do so also looked so damn scared and unsure.
I need her to be sure
. I can’t take this lightly. I could possibly be breaking up a family here. I need her to make a choice, and right now she just isn’t ready.

God, what if she’s never ready?

I shake it off. I can’t think about that right now. I walk upstairs into my bathroom. Right now, I need a shower and the palm of my hand.

I turn the water on, making sure it’s as hot as it can be. I need to wash this tension away. I quickly undress, my cock throbbing with the need for attention. I step in, resting my forehead on the wall behind the showerhead and let the scalding water rain down on me before my hand wraps around my length. I close my eyes and she’s right there, looking at me with those big brown eyes that see through my soul. As I move my hand up and down slowly, wanting this to last, I remember what she was wearing today.

Damn, she is so sexy it hurts.
That long, slinky skirt was showing off an ass that could put Kim Kardashian to shame. I want to grab and bite and spank that ass ‘til she’s screaming my name. And those breasts—when I saw her this morning in that tight little tank top, no bra, nipples standing at attention, I almost came in my pants right there. Most dudes would probably think they’re too small, but I think they’re fucking perfect.
A handful of perky perfection.

I start to stroke my cock faster, remembering how she felt against me when I pinned her to the door. The surprised look on her face that quickly turned lustful. She
wanted
me.
And God, I want her
. I start beating my dick so hard, knowing I’m about to come. I remember her scent—that incredible scent. She smells so good.
So sweet
. I just know her pussy smells the same. And at that thought, with a primal grunt, I explode into my hand, fast and hard. Come runs through my fingers and down my leg.

Shit, I needed that.

I clean myself off and get out of the shower. It’s almost time for Ben’s bus to drop him off, so I grab a pair of gym shorts and a white tank before heading downstairs. My nerves are still slightly on edge, so I grab a beer from the fridge, hoping it’ll calm me down. No, that rub-n-tug wasn’t enough, because I know what I need. But I’m not sure it’s something I will ever get. And at that depressing thought, I take a long ass pull.

I walk to the door and step outside to wait for Ben. When I sit down on my lawn chair, I look over to Evangeline’s house and my eyes automatically connect with hers. She offers a small wave and smile. I dish out my sexiest smirk that I know gets to her. She just rolls her eyes, which makes me laugh. I think I’ve laughed more since moving here than I have in the last few years of my life. This girl is doing something to me. We continue to make funny faces from our porches while we wait for the bus. It’s so childlike and ridiculous, but I can’t bring myself to stop. She brings this out in me. This joy. It’s unnerving but not unwelcome either.

And then it happens.

Cole pulls up right before the bus stops. He hops out of his truck, strolls right over to Evangeline, scoops her up, and kisses her like her like fucking depends on it. I think my heart stops. Just. Fucking. Stops. Then, to make matters worse, the bus comes, letting out all of the kids. I sit there and watch Dylan and Cadence run to their dad and
my
Evangeline. They’re all smiling and laughing. Like a family.
Like a happy fucking family.

Yeah, I’m dead
. Done for.

Cole picks up the kids and takes them inside. Evangeline remains on the porch. Our eyes lock, and that look guts me. Those eyes tell it all. Whatever passed between us today is gone.
Forgotten
. She gives me one more desolate look and goes inside. My hands clench. I need to punch something.
Now.

              “Hey, Uncle Jake!” Ben shouts, scaring the shit out of me. I didn’t even notice him standing right in front of me. I take a deep breath, trying to erase that perfect family image that is now ingrained into my head.

              “Hey, buddy! How was school?”

              Ben proceeds to tell me about his day as we walk back into the house. I shut the door and that fucking look with it. Tomorrow is a new day.

              The battle for her heart has just begun. And I’m ready to fucking fight.

***

Evangeline

I can’t get that look on Jake’s face out of my head. When Cole came home and lifted me in his arms, kissing the life out of me, all I could feel were Jake’s eyes on me. Searing me with those intoxicating green pools. We were having so much fun, and he was laughing again. That deep, guttural laugh that melts my heart and wets my panties. He was being so free and silly—two words I wouldn’t normally use to describe the tall, dark, handsome and cocky man. And then it all disappeared with that kiss.
Which was amazing by the way, not gonna lie.
Cole can definitely kiss, but it wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t worth the hurt I put on Jake’s face.

Yes, I know my head is all kinds of muddled.

So now, I’m sitting here on the couch, curled up into Cole, trying to focus on
Mad Men
but failing miserably. I’m definitely going to have to re-watch this episode, because all I can see or think about is Jake. Damn it.
Why? Why him? Why now?
He’s doing something to me. I’m starting to feel for him, which is so fucking disconcerting. Not even effing, but
fucking
. I need to stop. Stop thinking about him. Stop wanting him.

Just stop.

Cole
. I need to focus on my amazing man who’s got me tucked into his arm. I grab the remote and press pause on the sexy man beast that is Jon Hamm. Cole looks up at me questioningly, but when I pull my shirt over my head and slither my skirt down my legs, those eyes burn with lust. He hisses out a curse as I step between his legs. I kneel down and hook my fingers into his pajama bottoms. He lifts his hips as I bring them down, along with his boxer briefs. His cock is rigid and ready for me. I love that my body can still do this to him so quickly. I grab his cock with my right hand, stroking with just the right amount of pressure while I dip my head down, taking his balls into my mouth. I suck and lick, teasing him until he can’t take it anymore. He tugs my braid, pulling me away. We look at each other with hooded eyes. I lick my lips seductively, tighten my hold on his cock, and then swirl my tongue around the head, tasting his pre-come. As he moans, I wrap my lips around him and take him all the way into my mouth. My man is large, full, and thick, but I was somehow blessed without a gag reflex—which he is now thanking the heavens for. I moved up and down quickly, sliding my tongue along the length and taking him deep.

              “Fuck, Evie. You know how to suck my cock. Oh fuck, baby,” he breathes out while throwing his head back. He tangles his hand into my hair, pulling slightly. I moan loudly at his words, sending vibrations to his erection. I caress his balls as I continue my rhythm.

              “Shit, baby, I’m close.”

              I quicken my pace, then hold him deep inside my mouth. When I finally move back up, I lightly bare my teeth. His balls tighten in my hand and with a strangled and incoherent sound from Cole, he comes into my mouth. I swallow the warm liquid with pride and hunger. When I take every last drop from him, he pulls me up and onto his lap, his softening cock resting against my pussy. His lips claim mine ravenously. I start grinding, moving my hips up and down, and sliding my wetness against his now hardening cock, moaning into his mouth. I need him inside me.
Now
. He pulls my braid again, yanking my head away from his so he can kiss down my neck.

              While he moves down to my nipples, I grip his fully erect cock into my hands, lift my hips and ease him into my awaiting sex. We both hiss as he fills me up completely. I slowly move up and down, letting him know that I don’t just want to be fucked tonight. I want to be
loved
. One hand grips my hips, directing my motions, while his other is behind my head while I wrap my arms around his neck. Our eyes are connected, emitting so much emotion that I feel tears threatening to spill. This thing that is happening inside me, this longing for another man, is causing so much guilt to build within that I feel like he can see it through my eyes. I turn away, only to have him bring me right back.

              “Look at me, Evie. Feel this. Stay with me, baby. Please. I’m close. So close.” Cole pleads to me as he reaches between our bodies and rubs rapid circles against my clit. I scream out, but still maintain eye contact.

              Finally, I rest my forehead against his, feeling the pressure building, feeling this moment. Feeling the love this man has for me. The unconditional love that he’s given me since as far back as I can remember. I can’t stop the silent tears that finally fall down my cheeks as we both find our release, coming fiercely together. He grabs my face in his hands, placing a gentle kiss on my swollen lips. And that’s when an unexpected sob breaks free, and those silent tears turn into ugly, body-wracking cries.

What the hell?

              “Shit, baby? What’s wrong?” He swiftly wipes the tears that keep flowing, while his face is a mask of confusion.

              I can’t tell him what’s stirring inside me. I wish I could. I want to so desperately. Sometimes I miss my friend, Cole. He would listen to every single problem I had without judgment, rub my back, and tell me everything would be okay. I’m pretty damn positive that wouldn’t be the case this time around. So I just tell him what I can.

              “Nothing, nothing is wrong. I just—I love you so much, Cole. I really, really do. No matter what. I love you,” I profess through sniffles.

              The confusion on his face lessens, but doesn’t disappear completely. He knows there’s more. He knows
me
. But he doesn’t push. Why, I’m not quite sure, but I’m thankful nonetheless. He wraps his arms around me, pulling me close to his chest while caressing my hair tenderly. My tears finally stop, my body calms, and my eyes start to grow heavy. Just as I’m about to give in to the slumber that is attempting to pull me in, I hear Cole whisper into the night, “I love you, Evie. Don’t forget us. Please, don’t forget us.”

***

I wake up with the sun shining through the windows, blinding my drowsy eyes. It takes me a minute to realize that I’m no longer downstairs on the couch. Cole must’ve carried me upstairs sometime in the night.
Cole.
I feel around and come up empty.
Shit. What time is it?
I turn to the clock on my bedside table and—
holy mother eff
—it’s eight in the morning! I
never
sleep this late. Not even on the weekends. The kids will be way late for school. I fumble wildly out of bed, tangled in my sheets, and grab a robe before flying out the door. Once I step out, I realize it’s eerily quiet. I walk towards Cady’s room.
Empty
. Same as Dyl’s. I head downstairs for the kitchen and find a note on the countertop.

Evie,

              You were sleeping so soundly, I decided to let you sleep. I think you needed it, baby. I took the kids to school, so no worries. Just relax today. It’s going to be a busy weekend. I love you. See you after work.

                                                                      Cole

Well, damn.
He really is amazing, isn’t he?
I blow out a huge puff of air, drop the note, and turn around to make my tea. Just as I’m setting my kettle on the stove, the doorbell rings.

Jake.

I know it’s him without even looking. I sluggishly walk back into the living room, wringing my hands and taking slow, measured breaths.
It’s now or never.

I open the door, and just like yesterday, Jake is standing right in front of me. Only today, he has circles under his eyes and his hair is messier than usual, like he’s been raking his hands through it all night. His sexy smirk from yesterday is replaced by a timid smile—if you can even call it a smile. Now, don’t get me wrong, he somehow still looks damn fine in basketball shorts and a faded Lou Reed tee, but he also looks completely uncertain about being at my doorstep. Which gives me goose bumps, but not in the good way. I’m suddenly feeling chilly. I wrap my arms around myself.

              “Hey.” Jake finally breaks the beyond awkward silence.

              “Hey,” I say back, offering a small smile. I look into those eyes, those green eyes that have been so bright and mischievous lately and see—pain. It’s like he’s back to that guy from two weeks ago.
Did I do this? Is he still upset from what he saw yesterday?
No, it can’t be that. He has to be over it by now, right? But something is definitely weighing down on him.