Falling For You (52 page)

‘He’s just been in here,’ Dad says to me at last.

 ‘Who?’ I go and sit on his bed again. I perch there right on the very edge like a bird on a telephone line just poised to fly away at the slightest alarm. ‘
Who’s been here
, Dad?’

‘Your lad,’ he says quietly. ‘Lawrence. He came up through the fire-door.’

 He... he came through the...? I look towards the door, shocked, but it is closed now. I’d thought he’d come up the normal way. I’d imagined... I’d have to introduce him to everyone and then... afterwards, he’d go to my uncle and maybe hand himself in or something.

‘
When
?’ I breathe, even though I know it could only have been very recently
. He came up while I was in the bath
, I think.
He came up this way so he could see Dad and avoid seeing everyone else. Even me?
  ‘I mean... when did he go?’ No. I don’t mean that. What do I mean?

‘What did he say to you?’ I grasp my Dad’s hands suddenly, wanting to know everything, wanting to hear
everything...

‘I think he wanted to face his victim, Rose. I think he meant somehow to make amends…’

‘
Dad,
’ my voice nearly gives out. He knows! ‘When was he here?’

‘He left within the half hour, not so long ago. I got the impression...‘ Dad presses my palm now, ‘from all he knew about us, that maybe you’d asked him to come?’

I nod, my eyes down.

‘Did I do the wrong thing, Dad?’ I ask apologetically. ‘I didn’t mean for him to come in without me.
Dear God
- were you scared?’

‘No, Rose,’ Dad pats my hand.  ‘There’s nothing to be scared of, is there? I see now what he did was a mistake.  All this time, there never was anything to fear …’

‘Can you forgive me?’ I say in a small voice, ‘For falling in love with the man who hurt you? I didn’t know who he was. I went out to get your tablets and I got trapped up in the ruin by the weather. He was there too. I fell in love… with the person he’s become since he did that horrible thing to you. I thought you’d never understand…’

‘If not me, then who would ever understand it?’ he asks sadly. Because of Mum, he means. Because when love comes it is bigger and wider and stronger than all the rights and wrongs of the world, and maybe it can heal them all? 

‘The
family
aren’t going to understand it,’ I remind him shakily. The fact that Dad has taken it so well is a miracle. I don’t hold out any hope that the others will.

‘The family will have to come to terms,
l
ove.’

‘They’ll want him taken to court, Dad. They’ll want justice to be served. And... he’s scared of prison. That’s why he ran in the first place. His father used to lock him up, you know. He used to beat him and lock him up in the darkness...’    

When I look up, Dad’s got a very strange expression on his face now.
What is it
? Oh, God.

‘What is it, Dad?’ I feel a sudden fear catch in my throat now, seeing that look in his eyes. ‘Where has he gone?’

‘I don’t think you’re going to be able to keep this matter from your uncle or from the police very much longer, Rose. In fact, I wouldn’t advise you to do so. He’s gone to Macrae Farm.’

He’s gone back home then? It’s far too late for him to do anything for Sunny now, surely? He knew that when he agreed to come home with me. He made his decision. He came and saw Dad. Yet he has still gone on to Macrae Farm. My heart sinks another notch.
Why did you feel you had to do that
,
Lawrence
,
why?

When I stand up now, my legs barely keeping the weight of me upright, I don’t even get to the door before it’s opened abruptly by someone else from the outside.

‘’Scuse me for barging in,’ Ty is opening the door even as he’s knocking on it.  ‘I’m told
you two
have just received some very good news...?’ His hands grip mine for an instant, and he smiles into my eyes. He’s so genuinely happy for me that I get a small rush of happiness inside. 
It’s not all bad, things aren’t all bad...
some things in my life are very good right now. But until I get over the hump of what I still need to confess to them,
until I know what’s happening to Lawrence
, how can I be truly happy? 

‘It’s all very sombre in here,’ Ty notes.  He pulls me towards him now, for a brief bear-hug, catching me by surprise. He smells of the outside; of cold air and melting snow and fresh tree-bark, and he’s got a cheerfulness about him, a purposefulness I haven’t seen on any of them since they first arrived. I can see little spots of rain glistening on his expensive cashmere jumper, and little chips of wood. He follows my line of gaze.

‘I’ve just been out replenishing your stocks
.
’
H
e brushes the wood-chips off his sleeve, winking at Dad. ‘Seeing as we used up a load while we were here.’

‘Very kind, old chap.’

‘You’re welcome. And this is one clever girl you’ve got here, Jack...’ My uncle pulls up the wicker chair from the window and seats himself down beside the bed, now. He sits down right on the edge of it, like a man invigorated, a man who knows he’s going to be up and away at any moment. He will be. The car is fixed, Carlotta already said it. It’ll be parked on a clear road further along the valley, just waiting for them all to come and jump into it with their bags, resume their journey. Right on cue, his wife and daughter sidle in behind him now. I can see they all look smartened up and keen to go; they’ve got that ‘ready to go out there and face the world’ air about them.

But they can’t go.

They have to stay here and help me save Lawrence from his family. They have to stay here and listen to me tell them the whole truth, first...

‘Car’s all ready then?’ Dad takes in that this is a farewell party, even as I do.

‘Indeed it is.’

‘Here you go, my love,’ Ty makes to give the chair up for his wife but she perches on the arm of it instead.  Sam plumps down on the other arm and they both glance over at me a little apprehensively, anticipatory but saying nothing. They’re waiting for me to ‘fess up about where I’ve truly been; they’re a little curious but they aren’t expecting anything
too
untoward.  I go and sit back down on the bed, trying to work out what’ll be the best way to explain it all to them, knowing that I mustn’t delay anymore. I open my mouth and then, before I can say it;

 ‘So...’ Ty leans in a little nearer to Dad’s bed. ‘Has Rose’s offer made any impact on your decision to pursue getting possible treatment in the States?’

Dad smiles at him, but I see his smile is tight. He’s worried, I can feel it.

‘I’ve decided to give the States a go,’ he says in a crinkly voice.

‘Fantastic!’

‘But there is something else.’
Sorry Love,
Dad’s glance says to me before he turns to face them all.  

‘Rose has got something she needs to say to everyone. Something important.’ He grips my hand a fraction tighter as he adds. ‘This is not going to be easy for her, so I trust you’ll all hear her out before you say anything. That’s all I ask. That you hear her out.’

I look from one of them to the other at their slightly puzzled faces, at the anticipation growing in the room that all is not as well as it appears to be. I reckon Sam and Carlotta think they have a good idea what this is about. But they don’t, not really. It takes so long for the words to form in my mouth that the smile in my uncle’s eyes fades to concern.  By the time the words come out they sink like bits of ice in a cold lake, nobody is expecting me to say anything good...

‘I haven’t been at Shona’s these past few days.’ My voice, when I find it now, is surprisingly clear. ‘I’ve been... with someone else.’

I feel my aunt shift on the arm of the wicker chair. She shoots me an encouraging smile, only slightly tense, waiting for that
perfectly good explanation
...   

‘The thing is, I discovered who Dad’s attacker was. He’s been staying here, in Merry Ditton ...’ If they had been expecting me to say anything at all, I know that is not something that would ever have crossed their minds. Not that.
Anything
but that.  There’s a collective gasp in the room as they take my words in.

‘The police knew he was planning on visiting locally,’ Ty blurts out before I can say anything else. ‘They contacted this house soon after I got here in fact. They informed me it was him they were on the look-out for, to be aware
.
I didn’t say anything to you, Jack, because I didn’t want you to worry unduly, but I never thought Rose would be out. By the time anyone thought to
tell
me she’d gone,’ he glances angrily at his daughter
.
‘
W
e assumed she must have gone on to her friend’s. An assumption which she herself confirmed a short while later.’ Dad looks pained, but I’m more aware of my uncle now, his eyes narrowing, as he makes connections in his mind that are nowhere near the truth. ‘Did you
know
of this, Rose?’ He turns to look at me in faint horror. ‘Did you go out in search of this man yourself?’

‘No. No! I had no idea it was him. None at all. 
At all
,’ I say emphatically.  But that doesn’t allay the darkness I see forming in his eyes now.

‘Then ... where have you been?’

Shit. This is the moment I have known would have to come, ever since I arrived back. The moment where they find out the truth, and I know they are not going to like it. Not one little bit. Dad’s fingers tighten in mine encouragingly.  

‘I’ve been with him, Uncle Ty.’ I look my uncle directly in the eye now. ‘The man they’re after. I’ve been with him ever since I was forced to shelter up in the old ruin after I left here, waiting for the weather to break.’ How easily the truth slips out. It is not as difficult to say as I’d feared. It is the truth, and I must not be afraid, just as I didn’t want Dad to be afraid anymore and he had to know the truth.

‘Dear God.’ My aunt’s hands go over her mouth. There’s a small, stifled noise from Sam.

‘Start from the beginning.’ My uncle’s face has gone very white. He’s having trouble taking in what I’ve just said to him, I can see it in the conflict in his eyes. ‘So you ... you left here and were forced to find shelter ... where?’

‘The old ruin,’ I say again. His hands go out to his sides in confusion.

‘And this guy happened to also be up there? This
man
?’ He looks utterly shocked.

‘He was sheltering, like me.’ I can hear my voice trembling but I don’t take my eyes off his.

‘Sheltering,’ he nods, very slowly, letting the implications of what I’m saying sink in. ‘And you didn’t think it might be important to
tell
us any of this?’ I open my mouth and shut it again. ‘...Especially knowing as you did there was a man the police were warning about?’ He glances at Sam briefly, as if wondering if she might be complicit in all of this. I see her shake her head, shrink back a little. ‘Instead of which, you pretended to be at your friend’s house, correct?’ I give a small nod.

‘I lied.’

‘You lied. You were up there with him for
two days,
Rose. You phoned home more than once.’ Uncle Ty is very still suddenly, intent. I see him glance at my aunt and then he swallows, pained.

‘
Why
?’ The change in tone in his voice, so quiet now, soft, suddenly concerned for me, jars even more than his fury would. ‘Why would you do that? Unless... what did he do to you, Rose?’  

‘What did he do?’ This time I find it more difficult to level my gaze to his.

‘He hurt you?’ Ty stands up and moves a little closer to me, his ear so near to my face now, willing me to say all the things that it would be acceptable for him to hear. That I was coerced into this. That my complicity - saying nothing up to now - it’s all down to some form of Stockholm syndrome. It’s a psychological self-defence protection mechanism. That I am not really an accessory after the fact, protecting a known wanted man... I shake my head, slowly.

‘He never hurt me,’ I say. I don’t look up. A single tear-drop runs down my cheek, splashes onto my father’s hand. ‘He never did anything to hurt me.’

‘He’s ... he’s made you say that, right?’ Ty stands back abruptly, and the suddenness of the movement jars right through to the core of me.

‘No.’

‘He made you promise not to give his position away so he could get away from here without detection - he’s
threatened you
, said he’d come back and hurt Jack again?’

‘No!’ I can’t stand this any longer. ‘No he hasn’t. He didn’t.’ I get up off the bed and face my uncle now, even though I’m trembling, even though I can feel every fibre of me wired with fear at what might come of it.

‘He didn’t, Uncle Ty! He didn’t do any of those things you just said. He didn’t threaten me. He didn’t hurt me. He didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to do.’ I look at Dad for support, waiting to see if he’ll say anything, back me up and tell them about Lawrence coming here, tell them that
he
knows Lawrence is not so bad.

‘The only things he did for me were
good
things, helpful things, even though in order to do them he knew he’d be putting himself at risk.’ I stop, taking in the shock on my uncle’s face. This is not what he expected to hear. Not what he
wanted
to hear.

‘He saved my life, Ty. He picked me up and took me to shelter when I fell and lost consciousness in the snow after I left here. If it weren’t for him coming out to me I’d have frozen to death.’

‘He saved you?’ Sam’s biting her nails fiercely now. She looks from me to her parents but right now neither of them seem inclined to respond.  

‘He risked his own position to take me into shelter. He stitched up the wound in my leg
.
’

‘You’re telling us you let him perform some procedure on your leg?’  Uncle Ty splurts. ‘What is he ... some sort of medic, now?’

‘He’s a paramedic.’

‘That’s what he said? And you believed him. Rose, Rose...’ Ty turns round and for a moment or two paces the room. ‘People like that don’t
become paramedics
, Rose. Don’t you know this? Haven’t you lived next to those Macraes for enough years to know what kind of people they are?’ 

‘Not him,’ I say staunchly. ‘He’s different. He saved me. He even came back here to speak to Dad, to let him know how sorry he was for what he did.’

‘He was sorry.’ The words shock my uncle into silence once again. They push him away from the kind-hearted, generous person I know him to be. I see his fists clench. ‘He told you he was sorry and you let him convince you to bring him back
here,
Rose
?
’  He looks furious suddenly. More than furious. ‘Have you
any idea
of the danger you were putting yourself - all of us - in?’