Falling for Mr Wrong (17 page)

“Nate, enough. I’m fine,” she said with a decisive tone.

Trying a different tact, he softened his voice. “Bea, I’m worried about you.”

“Nigel’s here, he’s been amazing.” She paused. “I should’ve called instead of texting. You’re in Greece with Tilly so I didn’t expect you to drop everything and come to me.”

“Actually, I’ve been in Jerusalem for the past two days, not in Greece. I lied to you.” With a heavy heart, he quickly filled her in on Tilly, the media, the fake engagement and the apology.

“Why are you coming to see me instead of going after Tilly?” she fired back at him, not too concerned about the fibs and stories he had just spun.

“I’m worried about you.” He lowered his voice. “I’m responsible for you. I never want to find you the way I did, all those years ago.”

He heard her suck in a sharp breath. “You think I’m taking drugs?” she accused in a shrill voice.

Why else would she have collapsed?
“I don’t know, are you?” His shoulders slumped with the mental exhaustion of worrying about her 24/7 for years now.

“No I’m not.” Her voice raised a notch. “I got dehydrated. It’s hot and I had too many glasses of wine and not enough water. It was silly of me.” She cleared her throat. “Listen, I’m fine – you need to stop this overprotection. I’ve turned my life around. I’m healthy and I don’t go near any drugs. I’ve got friends, a good job and…” she stopped.

“And?” he urged.

“Nigel and I are back together again.” Her voice sung out, happiness beaming brightly even though he was speaking to her over the phone. There was no doubt in his mind she was happy, really happy.

His heart lifted in relief and joy. “That’s great Bea. Nigel’s a good man.”

“He’s the best.” She cooed before making a kissing sound, obviously aimed at Nigel and not him.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Unable to believe he was now unneeded, unnecessary, unrequired. His throat thickened making it difficult to swallow.

“I’m better than fine. You don’t need to look after me anymore.” His little sister was reminding him that she had grown up, shaken off her past demons and made a success of her life. Even though he knew this, he still worried for her. The memory of her slumped on the floor was soldered on his brain and he found it difficult to remove this image.

His lungs deflated. He did not know how to let go. He could not remember a time he had not been there for Bea. It was part of his psyche, it defined him. Removing that responsibility was as harrowing as removing a limb. As her older brother, with no loving father, his job had been to ensure Bea was safe, happy and adjusted.

With an aching heart, he leaned forward and spoke to the driver. “We’re returning to Jerusalem, now, please.” He slumped into seat, the exhaustion of his decision rested heavily on his chest.

“Nate, are you there?” his sister’s voice sounded out from his mobile.

“Yes.” Saying it tired him. He closed his eyes, blocking out the bright sunlight, which was making his head throb. “I’m going back to Jerusalem.” Even after saying it, he hoped he was making the right decision. Leaving her felt wrong. Mentally reminding himself that Nigel was there helped a bit.

She made a whooping noise “Brilliant, thank you.”

Caring for Bea all those years had not been a chore. Letting go would no doubt take him a while to get used to. By having the driver turn the car around and return to Jerusalem, he hoped to show he trusted her decision-making.

“I also mean for everything.” He heard her sigh. “For being a better parent than Mum or Dad ever were. You have protected me all your life and I am grateful for everything you’ve done for me. Without you,” he heard her choke back a sob, “I don’t know where I’d be. I owe my achievements to you.”

His throat tightened with unexpected emotion. “Bea, you did that, not me.” He wanted to reassure her that she was responsible for turning her life around, not him.

“You encouraged me to aim high, let go of the past, especially with that tosser, Sebastian.” She spat out the word ‘Sebastian’. “He’s an awful person and what he did was cruel and callous but I’ve accepted it and put it behind me. I’m not going to let him continue to ruin my life.” She started to cry. “I’m sorry that you found me
that time
. You saved my life and I’m thankful everyday for being alive, especially now that I’ve found love with Nigel.”

“Bea.” He did not know what to say. Leaning back into the leather seat, he closed his eyes, his body suddenly weary as though he had been hiking for days in the desert. He licked his dry lips. “I’m thankful every day I found you when I did.”

“I’ve something to confess.” He heard her draw in a deep breath. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you till now, but Paisley was cheating on you. There was never a good time to tell you but you need to know, especially being with Tilly.”

The mention of his ex-fiancée caused his chest to hurt as though a giant fist had punched him in the ribs. Despite the fall out being over two years ago, her name still made his teeth clench. Confirmation she was cheating on him was akin to acid being dripped on his skin. He had his suspicions but he did not want to believe he had not been enough for her.

His sister continued. “She lied to you when she said she didn’t want to be associated with our family.”

Even sitting in a car travelling along a desert road in Israel, Nate could still remember Paisley’s taunting words.
We don’t want
your DNA spoiling our gene pool
. The hurt had gone all the way through to the marrow in his bones. It was not as though he needed a reminder of how bad his parents were. Having it thrown in his face by his fiancée was the moment when he was not sure if he ever wanted to marry, let alone have children.

“After your engagement ended, I followed her around for a few days. Don’t tell me off – I know it was the wrong thing to do, but I hated how she treated you. You were so nice to her. Anyway, I shouldn’t have done it but I did.” She paused. “She met the same bloke every day and they were very affectionate. One day, I overheard them. They had definitely been together when she was engaged to you. By using your family as an excuse, she was able to break your engagement and be with her lover.”

He forgot how to breathe until an automatic reflex had him gasping for air. He undid the top buttons of his shirt so oxygen could flow to his deprived lungs. He wanted to punch a wall and release the hurt that had been stagnating in his belly for the past two years. He had been a fool. A fool who stupidly believed he was not worthy of the gorgeous Paisley.

Just because his family tree was unsavoury did not mean he was. He had achieved a successful career and a healthy bank account from hard work, not from an inheritance.

“You wouldn’t have been happy married to Paisley – she wasn’t for you,” Bea reassured him with a soothing tone. “It’s better it ended before you were married, not after.”

“I know,
now
.” His voice croaked. It had taken his baby sister to see what he should have seen all that time ago. He had been so full of rage that he had not taken the time to realise that not marrying Paisley was a good thing. Deep down, he had not even admitted to himself, but he should never have proposed. But he knew why. She represented everything he thought he wanted. A stable home. Well to-do parents. A family brimming with aunts, uncles and cousins.

“Do you think Tilly is the one for you?” Bea’s question brought him back into the present.

He ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know.” He blew out a large breath of air. “We’ve only know each other for three days. I’m hoping she’ll call me when she reads my apology on-line.”

“Are you serious? You apologised via your blog?” his sister’s voice screeched into the phone. “You may have been honourable with the whole running after her thing, but you’ve publicly humiliated her. You better go find her and start grovelling. Saying sorry on the blog is a start, but you need to try a lot harder.”

He covered his eyes with his hand and leaned back into the leather seat. His sister was right again! Tilly deserved more. He hoped she would listen to his apology. “I don’t know where she is,” he admitted.

“You found her in Israel, so work it out,” Bea all but yelled at him. “Go after her. Now.”

“I need to think. She could be anywhere.” His head started to ache as he considered the number of possibilities as to where she might have gone. Tel Aviv? Jaffa? Australia?

“Did she give you a hint where she’d go?”

“She could be anywhere in Israel or even be on her way to Australia.” His palm rubbed his chest, hoping to massage the dull ache in his chest away.

“Ask her aunty,” she suggested brightly.

Not even worth considering. “I don’t think she’ll tell me.”

“She may, if you pour out your heart.”

He shook his head. “She’s religious and I’ve lied to her.”

“So work it out. You found her once, you can do it again.” She was so full of enthusiasm and encouragement, a direct contrast to how he felt. He felt like running in the desert and screaming out this frustration. “Thanks Bea, you’re the best.” He injected some enthusiasm into his voice so she knew she was appreciated.

“I know,” she said, a little too smugly, making his mouth twitch into a smile.

“I’m glad you’re okay. Thanks for the pep talk. Say hi to Nigel for me. Bye.” He disconnected the call. His hand lowered and he watched the desert landscape from his window as he mulled over the possibilities of where Tilly could have gone. But where?

Tilly sat on the beach watching the calm waters of the Sea of Galilee, hoping it would ease the ache in her heart. It didn’t.

Buried under a large brimmed hat and sunglasses, she breathed in the humid air, drawing it deep into her lungs. She was determined not to cry again – he was not worth it.

Digging out her mobile phone from her bag, she rang her aunty, knowing she would be awake despite it being early.

“Hi Aunty, it’s me,” Tilly said, trying to inject some enthusiasm into her voice.

“Hello dear, are you well?”

“Fine, fine.” She paused. “I’m in Galilee at one of the women’s only beaches. It’s really nice and peaceful here.” Looking around, she smiled at her ingenuity. One of the benefits of being in Israel was the consideration towards the religious Jews. There were women’s only beaches here which gave her the comfort of knowing that no male reporter could disturb her moments of Zen.

“If only you’d done that at the Dead Sea,” her aunty sighed.

Yes. But then she may never have met Nate and have him rescue her from the mud and the reporters. Despite him betraying her, the memory of him heroically sprinting over to save her was still one of her prized possessions.

“I read his blog,” she sniffed with indignation. “I even read his apology. Do you think he meant what he wrote?”

“I’d like to think so. But I don’t know.”

“Have you heard from him?”

“I haven’t answered any of his calls.”

“If he asks, shall I tell him where you are?”

“I don’t know. I need time to think and I can’t think when he’s around.”

He had the determination of a bloodhound to find her. Would he come after her now that he had his story?

She had read the apology on his blog and she understood his hatred of Sebastian – it matched hers. But the ache of betrayal still stung. It was hard to believe that they had only known each other for three days, but she was already thinking of a long term commitment. But their ‘relationship’ was built on lies. How could they have a life together when she did not know what was real and what was not?

“Listen Tilly, you need to make your own decisions. You gave up years to care for my sister, your Gran but now, you need to work out what’s best for
you
. Not what’s best for your parents. Don’t worry about me or your family. And if you choose to stay here, my apartment is big enough for you to share.”

“I love it here. I really do. I now understand why you chose to live here.” She sucked in a quick breath. “To be honest, I’m scared.”

“Tilly, you’ve got time. And you’re in the best place to think. Not far from where you are is where Jesus was baptised and performed some of his miracles. And on the other side of the lake, great Jewish Rabbis are buried there. Did you know that it was in Galilee that Jewish text and laws were written down, for the first time? The place is steeped in mysticism. Draw on it and let it give you the strength to make a decision.”

“Thanks Aunty. You’re right. This place has an amazing vibe.” She nibbled her lip. “I’m going for a swim now, I’ll call you later.”

“I’m out all day so you can catch me on my cell or ring tonight. Take care, my dear.” Maude disconnected the call and Tilly returned her phone to her bag.

Despite it being morning, the sun beat down and sweat trickled down her back. The beach was empty save for a few women. Casting an eye around at the modestly dressed women, she hoped not to ‘offend’ anyone in her one-piece swimmers. Shedding her knee length skirt and T-shirt, she made a bee-line for the water and plunged in.

The water refreshed her, washing away some of the pain and frustration she was carrying. Lying on her back gazing at the blue sky, a calmness descended on her confirming she had made the right decision to head north. Christians, Jews and Muslims all valued this area, for different reasons and with it being so rich in history, she hoped the answers would come to her more easily, to help her decide what to do.

While she was here, she planned on visiting as many historical places as possible. Coming to the beach for a swim was the best idea she had had, as she relaxed in the water.

Closing her eyes, she floated and a peace washed over, which was as comforting as the water. She belonged here. Here in this small country so far from Australia. Apart from her family, nothing waited for her return. With her brothers grown up, marrying and starting their own families, she would be the
single
aunt. It was not too hard to see that she would be the one to babysit, mind the children and be on hand for everyone else. And her parents would need care as they aged. She loved them and wanted to be there for them, but she did not want to be the dutiful daughter who gave up on love and having her own family to care for them and everyone else.