Falling for Her Husband (7 page)

And that was another thing. She wanted to go back to the agency. Yes, she had the gash across her cheek and the screwed up arm, but maybe someone could tell her whether she could continue being a client there or not. She needed a glimmer of hope, something to work toward. Even though she told Vince and everyone else she wasn’t interested in plastic surgery or pursuing her modeling career any longer, she’d been untrue to both them and herself.

She missed that career. She’d worked damn hard for it. No way could she let it just slip out of her fingers. Her family needed her.

And she needed that career for her own self-worth.

“If that’s what you want…” His voice drifted and she saw the uneasiness in his eyes, etched all over his features. He didn’t like this, but he wasn’t going to stand in her way either.

Her love for him only grew at the realization.

“It is definitely what I want,” she said firmly, reaching up to plant a quick kiss to his lips. “Now let’s go get something to eat. I’m starving.”

He smiled and kissed her again. “Physical therapy makes you extra hungry, doesn’t it?”

“And extra tired. But not too tired to go out for dinner.” She kissed him again, her lips lingering because he tasted so good. “Food gives me energy for other things too you know.” She wanted him. Again. Always. He only had to smile at her, touch her and she was ready to pull her clothes off and let him take advantage of her.

“Really? You know, you used to be very careful over what you ate,” he said.

She frowned. “Why did you have to remind me? I’ve been enjoying this freedom.”

He laughed. “When you were modeling, you started to worry because, as you told me, you weren’t getting any younger.” He slowly shook his head.

She laughed. “I’m twenty-three.” Amber instantly sobered. That was pretty damn ancient for a model. She’d been at it most of her teens. She remembered being tired too. So tired of keeping up, of knowing there were a million younger, prettier girls behind her wanting to take her place. It was an exhausting business. And she had an exhausting family who constantly wanted something from her.

The only real peace she found were those first few months of marriage with Vince.

“I know.” He slapped her butt and she yelped in surprise. “I like this change. You have more curves for me to caress.” His grin made her heart melt. “See? There was some good that came out of this accident.”

Hmm. She supposed so.

Chapter Ten

“You’re against me doing this, aren’t you?”

Vince paused, turning so he could face his wife straight on. Yes, he was against her seeing a psychologist, but how could he admit that without sounding like a complete ass? “I don’t want you to get hurt,” he said.

I don’t want you to find out the truth.

The thought flitted through his mind and he banished it quickly. Secrets and lies in a marriage were trouble. Look at his cheating mother. When his father died, it was revealed that his sister, Anastasia, wasn’t his but another man’s—their father’s competition in the accessories business. The scandal had initially rocked the Renaldi family to its core…but ultimately brought them even closer together.

His situation with Amber was different. If his father had still been alive when all of this came out, he doubted his parents’ marriage would’ve survived. Just like he was afraid his marriage wouldn’t survive if the truth came out. That Amber was unhappy with him, that she’d threatened divorce. She could blame him for getting hit by the car, by keeping this secret. She could blame him for…

Everything.

He couldn’t risk it. But how could he tell her the truth? He knew his mother was right. He needed to come clean to Amber. How, though?

As Rafe always liked to say, he was screwed.

“‘The truth will set me free.’ Isn’t that how the saying goes?” Amber smiled. She was preparing to leave for her two o’clock appointment with the psychologist and her mood had been light and airy all day. Like a weight had been lifted off of her. She was looking forward to this appointment and all he could do was dread it.

Thank God he wasn’t going with her.

“I want you to be happy for me.” Amber approached him, resting one hand on the center of his chest. Her touch burned through the thin fabric of his shirt and he steeled himself, not wanting to react but failing. His hands itched to reach for her and pull her in closer. “This is a step in the right direction. Progress. My mind is too restless, lacking those details. I want to know.”

He stiffened. “Am I not enough for you? I shared with you some of the details.” But not all. Damn it, he needed to keep his lips clamped shut. “I tried my best to fill in the holes of your memories.” Not good enough, though.

She smiled, her hand drifting down his chest, fingernails scraping, making him shiver. “I know. And I appreciate it. But there are things you’ve admitted that you don’t know. I hate that they’re lost to me.” Amber lifted up on tiptoe and brushed a soft kiss to his lips. “I’ll fill you in on all the details of my appointment when I come home. Will that make you feel better?”

Not really. He was walking on thin ice already, which meant he needed to confess the truth.

And soon.

“Yes. I’d like to know. I worry about you.” He kissed her again, cupping her cheek, holding her to him for a little too long, until she finally had to pull away from his still-seeking lips, her cheeks flushed.

“You’ll make me late,” she chastised.

“You don’t mind, do you?” He smiled, though inside his nerves were at war with each other. His mother—as much as it pained him to admit since he was a grown man capable of making his own decisions, however stupid they were—was right. He was creating more problems by keeping the truth from her.

“When it comes to my husband kissing me, I never mind,” she practically purred before she dropped a lingering kiss on the side of his neck. Her hair tickled his nose and he breathed deep of her sweet, sensual fragrance.

They’d been so happy lately, and he hated to see it end. The last few weeks had been downright magical, reminding him of when they were first together. He’d slowly started going into the Renaldi office and working, a few times even bringing Amber with him. She was friendly to everyone and curious, wanting to know as much about the family business as she could, which pleased him. The Amber of old hadn’t cared much beyond wanting to wear the jewelry that his sister, Stasia, designed.

They were scheduled to go over to Stasia and her husband’s place this evening for dinner, something he both looked forward to and dreaded. Constant questions would make him nervous and considering his sister was beyond curious about everything, he knew what was coming.

All he could do was prepare and hope to God Stasia wouldn’t ask anything that might trigger a repressed memory for Amber.

“Be careful out there,” he murmured, patting her ass just before she stepped out of his embrace. “The car will wait for you.” He’d become overly protective of her, making sure she had a car and driver to take her anywhere she needed to go. She’d protested profusely at first, accusing him of treating her like an invalid. It had slowly dawned on her that he provided the car not only for her safety but for his peace of mind as well.

Vince never wanted to see his wife suffer through an accident like that ever again. The odds were against it, but still. He didn’t like messing with odds. He much preferred ensuring her safety.

She rolled her eyes, though the smile was still on her face. “Yeah, yeah. I feel like he’s my bodyguard.”

The driver he’d hired was huge. His size and stature would intimidate pretty much anyone, which was Vince’s plan. “Ken is your driver
and
your bodyguard. This is a good thing.”

“It’s an overprotective thing,” she protested.

“A good thing,” he reiterated before he kissed her once more. “Now go. I don’t want you to be late to your first appointment.”

Amber approached him again, circling her good arm around his neck, her face in his. “Thank you for being so supportive of me, Vince. I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

Guilt panged at his heart. “You’re my wife,” he whispered, his throat scratchy. “I would do anything for you.”

“I know,” she whispered back, kissing him one last time before she pulled away. “I would do anything for you too.”

As the door closed behind her, he closed his eyes for a brief moment, breathing deep. He hoped she meant that. He hoped like hell she could forgive him for what he’d kept from her. The plan was to tell her soon.

Very soon.

“So what do you hope to gain from our sessions, Amber?” Dr. Sheila Harris smiled, her glasses pushed so far down her nose that she could peer over them. Her new psychologist was older than her, probably in her late thirties or early forties, with long, wavy brown hair and kind eyes. She had a calm, quiet demeanor about her that Amber found instantly soothing.

“Answers,” Amber answered simply.

A single brow rose. “What sort of answers?”

Amber shrugged and glanced around. The psychologist’s office was clean and neat, the wood furniture solid and the walls a soothing grayish-blue, though her nerves were still a jangle.

This was her first time to ever go to a psychologist, so she had no idea what to say and it felt weird confessing all her feelings to someone she didn’t know. She’d never been the most open person, especially with strangers. That’s why she still marveled over her instant connection with her husband. How quickly they’d come together. How passionate it had been. How passionate it still was…

“Amber?”

She glanced up, caught Dr. Harris watching her with a curious expression. Her mind had drifted, as it was wont to do since the accident. She swore getting hit by a car gave her ADD, a remark Vince never seemed to appreciate her saying, though she really was only joking.

Sometimes.

“I want to know what happened the day of the accident. I want to know what happened the weeks before. From what I can figure, I’ve lost…months.” Amber frowned and slowly shook her head. “I hate that. Losing that much time makes me feel…”

“Go on,” Dr. Harris prompted.

“Sad. Lost. Confused. A little scared,” Amber admitted.

“Your feelings are perfectly understandable. Losing a chunk of your memory must surely feel strange.” The doctor tapped away on her iPad, most likely taking notes. “I’d like to know why you feel fear. Are you afraid something bad happened to you during that time you’ve lost?”

“No, not at all.” Amber shook her head again, her gaze going to the window, snagging on the cloudy skies. It looked like it could rain. She felt as gray and gloomy as the clouds she studied. Why, she wasn’t quite sure. Maybe because she just lied to Dr. Harris. She was scared something might have happened… “Losing my memories makes me feel out of control. Like, how could I have lost time? Weeks? Months? Why can’t I remember? What’s the big deal?”

“Why do you think you can’t remember?” the doctor asked.

“I’ve done some research online and I’m wondering if it’s because my brain is protecting me? The accident was so traumatic and not remembering everything is somewhat of a blessing. At least, I read some articles that said that. So I get it. Really I do. It’s just so damn frustrating.” She leaned back against her chair and closed her eyes, lost in thought just like that. Sometimes…sometimes she had the niggling feeling that Vince was hiding something from her. He never wanted to talk about her memory loss. He never wanted to talk about the car accident and the supposed argument prior to it happening.

“I wonder if my husband isn’t telling me everything he knows,” she blurted, then immediately clamped her lips shut. She shouldn’t have said that.

But it had to be said. If she couldn’t be honest with herself and with Dr. Harris, then who could she tell? She had no one. Her mom wouldn’t understand since she was the queen of denial. Look at how she dealt with her dad.

“Why do you think that?” Dr. Harris asked calmly.

Amber popped her eyes open and looked at her. “He avoids talking about the accident whenever I try to bring it up.”

“I’m guessing it was a traumatic time for him,” the doctor reminded her, her voice gentle. “Perhaps he was worried he might lose you? Maybe it hurts him to remember that.”

Valid points. And why was the doctor defending Vince? He wasn’t the one who needed therapy. She did. “He doesn’t like telling me what happened before the accident. I ask him, I try to prompt him, and he either changes the subject or glosses over it. His behavior makes me suspicious.”

“But why would he hide it from you?”

“Maybe something terrible happened between us in those months or weeks leading up to the accident.” But what exactly?

“Well, maybe something did.” The doctor paused, as if both of them needed to absorb that statement for a little bit. “You should ask him pointblank if something
did
happen.”

“You mean I should confront him?” Amber was incredulous. First session in and her psychologist was encouraging her to just go for it.

“In time. When you’re ready. Have you considered that maybe you’re not ready to know what happened between the two of you yet?”

“Of course I have.” And that was why she hadn’t confronted Vince about it. What if he told her something terrible? What if she became angry at him? At the moment, he felt like her complete universe, the only thing that kept her sane. The only person that seemed to really care, who wanted to love her and keep her safe.

She didn’t want to lose him.

Chapter Eleven

“Your face.” Stasia Renaldi Westmore reached out, her fingers delicately running over the thin bandage that still covered Amber’s cheek before letting her hand drop. “It’s not as bad as everyone made it out to be.”

They were in Stasia and her husband, Gavin’s, kitchen, Stasia preparing them cups of tea before they went back out into the living room and joined their husbands.

Amber touched the bandage, suddenly self-conscious. “Everyone?” Were they all talking about her? The entire Renaldi family?

Stasia smiled and shook her head. “Fine, I’m exaggerating. Just Vince. He’s so worried about you. The way he went on about your injuries, I half expected you to show up for dinner in a wheelchair, semi-conscious.”

Amber couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her. She’d always enjoyed the friendship she shared with her sister-in-law. They didn’t see each other very often, but when they did, they always had a good time. Stasia made her feel comfortable. They had a lot in common, including dealing with stubborn, gorgeous men. Though Stasia rarely wanted too many details in regards to Amber and Vince’s relationship since he was her brother.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to visit you as much as I wanted when you were at the hospital,” Stasia said once they both sobered up. “There was so much going on with the designs and the baby. Paige was busy. Mama isn’t here. And then Vince was so protective of you, he didn’t want your recovery disrupted, he said.” She smiled, her face radiant. She’d just had a baby boy a few months ago, a gorgeous little chubby bambino they named Michael, after her real father, Michael Worth. A man she’d never met.

“Don’t worry about it. I understand. And you’re still adapting to having another baby,” Amber said, her thoughts drifting to baby Michael, who joined toddler big sister Sofia as part of Stasia and Gavin’s growing family. She’d held him at dinner when he got fussy and he’d snuggled right up next to her, his face pressed against her chest as he stared up at her with wide, unblinking eyes. More than once she’d glanced up to catch her husband watching her, a wistful expression on his face, and her heart had seized up for one long, terrifying moment.

Would he want a baby, especially now that she had no real plans to further her career? The entire Renaldi clan was big on family. Vince had told her from the first time they met that he wanted lots of children someday…

She wanted the same…eventually. Not yet, though. She was young, they hadn’t been married very long and there were so many things to consider. Just thinking about babies overwhelmed her. Could she imagine having one already?

That would be a giant
no
.

“Have you considered trying to go back to modeling?” Stasia asked.

Amber jerked her gaze to Stasia’s, surprised at the question only because no one else had ever really asked her it. “I don’t plan on it, no.”

“Why not?” Stasia sounded incredulous. “You’ve been doing so well. Your career has really taken off, especially the last few months. You’d texted me right before you got in the accident that you were on the cover of
Vogue Italia
.”

“I did?” She didn’t remember doing that. She didn’t remember being on the cover of
Vogue
either. “I don’t remember any of that.”

“Really?” The teakettle started whistling and Stasia went to it, turning off the stove as she moved the kettle to an unused burner. She turned to face Amber once more, her pretty face drawn into a confused frown. “I saw the cover. You looked gorgeous. And I know Vince saw it too. I asked him about it and he said yes, that he thought you looked beautiful too.”

He’d never told her. Why not? Maybe with the chaos of everything that had happened, the cover slipped his mind. “Vince never mentioned it.”

“Well, he was very proud. I could hear it in his voice.” Stasia moved about the kitchen, grabbing two white cups and then pulling a box of teabags from the cupboard. “I figured you were destined for even bigger and better things after that appearance.”

“Not with this, I’m afraid.” She touched the bandage again, feeling the itchy skin beneath. A sign that her skin was healing, a reminder that she had no idea just how bad the scar was beneath the bandage. She hadn’t been brave enough to look at it in weeks.

She was too scared to see the damage. What if it was worse than she thought?

“I’m going to guess the scarring isn’t that bad. Plus, couldn’t you see a plastic surgeon? I’m sure you have options.” Stasia went about preparing their tea, looking every inch the contented, well-rounded woman that she was.

Amber couldn’t help the stab of envy she felt. Stasia was so confident, so happy, while she was a confused, scared mess. “My arm is still a problem too. The scarring is bad and I think I need one more surgery. The doctor said I’ll probably never gain full mobility in my arm again.”

“Oh, Amber.” Stasia set the cup she was holding down and went to Amber, drawing her into a hug. “I’m so sorry. Surely there must be something you can do?”

“I don’t know,” Amber said on a sigh as she withdrew from Stasia’s embrace. “I feel at a loss.”

“Have you talked about it with Vince?”

Amber shook her head. “He doesn’t seem to like talking about that stuff.”

Stasia handed Amber her cup of steaming hot tea. “What sort of stuff?”

Shrugging, Amber curled her hands around the mug, warming her palms. “My future. My work. I remember him not liking it that I traveled so much.”

“You two married terribly fast. Right after the wedding, you started traveling even more extensively for work. No newly married couple can find that easy to deal with I’m sure,” Stasia said gently.

“Of course, you’re totally right.” Amber hesitated. Should she say this to Stasia? Vince was her brother, after all. “I sometimes wonder…did Vince and I marry too quickly? Did we move too fast? Were we really happy together or did things suffer because we weren’t together much?”

“Aren’t those questions you should ask your husband?”

Amber had no answer. What could she say? How could she argue?

Her sister-in-law was correct. Amber just didn’t want to admit it.

Being with his family tonight had shifted something deep inside Vince. Yes, some of the immediate family members were missing, namely his two brothers and their families and their mother. But spending time with Stasia and her husband and babies, seeing his sister and his wife interact with each other…it had all pulled at his heart. His mind. His soul.

When he’d glanced up to find Amber cuddling their new nephew close to her chest, her expression soft as she whispered to little Michael, he’d been overwhelmed with love. What would it be like, to have a baby with his wife? Would she be agreeable to such a life-changing suggestion? The Amber from before the accident would’ve told him hell no. That Amber had been ready to walk away from him without ever looking back, which still crushed him when he thought about it.

So he never thought about it.

What he was doing, what he kept from her—he knew the secret-keeping wasn’t right. But it would do both of them no good to bring it up. What was done was done. It was in the past. He needed to live in the present and look toward the future.

Was his wife in agreement, though? Would she want a child? She’d said a few times recently that she was young. Her life was still wide open to her and she was right. He couldn’t expect her to just agree with him without protest. Surely she would have something to say about the matter of their starting a family.

Knowing his sometimes rather opinionated and outspoken wife, she would have plenty to say.

“You’re awfully quiet,” she said, her soft, sweet voice breaking through his thoughts.

They’d taken a taxi home and they were stuck in late night traffic. “Just thinking,” he said, offering her a quick smile.

She reached out and set her hand on his thigh, giving his leg a gentle squeeze. “About what?”

“It was nice to see you and Stasia together. I’d forgotten how well the two of you got along,” he said, avoiding mentioning his true baby thoughts.

“I love your sister.” She smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder. He caught the scent of her hair, the way her fingers skimmed across his thigh and his entire body tightened. “I love your entire family, though I’m not sure if they love me.”

He stiffened beneath her touch. “Why would you say that?” he asked warily.

Amber glanced up at him the same time he looked down at her. “I’m sure they don’t approve of my always being gone while I was working. Not hardly the way a newly married couple should behave, right?”

Vince swore he’d heard those very words come out of his mother’s mouth. “Have you spoken to my mother recently?”

“No.” She looked away, a nervous laugh escaping her. “I sound like her, though, don’t I? I think…she might’ve said those exact words to me once.”

She sounded troubled, which worried him. He reached out, traced his finger along the gentle curve of her jaw. “We never really did talk about your session today.”

“It went well,” she said, keeping her gaze averted.

“Amber.” She turned to meet his gaze once more, her eyes wide and completely unreadable. That had been one of her special talents. How well she could hide her emotions. She blamed modeling. He blamed her screwed up relationship with her parents. Her father was a drunk and her mother was a co-dependent. Amber had been turned into one herself. “Did you like your therapist?”

“She’s very nice.”

“And do you feel like the session was helpful?”

She lifted her head and removed her hand from his leg, moving away from him. “If you’re trying to discourage me from going again, I’m afraid I’ll have to disappoint you. I’m definitely seeing her next week.”

“I would never do that,” he said, offended. “I want you to get the help you need.”

“Yes, but you don’t think I need any help, right?” She leaned back so far she was wedged into the farthest corner of the taxi. As far away from him as she could get.

“I never said any such thing.” He frowned, anger and frustration and roiling mix in his gut. “What’s wrong with you, Amber? Why are you being so…hostile?”

She crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I know you didn’t want me to go to therapy.”

“Only because I was afraid it would upset you.”

“You’re always afraid everything is going to upset me.” She scowled. “I’m sick of it.”

“Sick of what? My concern for you? My love for you?” He was incredulous. Why would this make her angry? One minute he was having thoughts of a future filled with sweet babies given to him by his wife and the next they were in a fight.

Just like old times.

“When you say it like that…” She stared at him, sadness and regret filling her eyes, making them dark. “You make me feel bad.”

A sigh escaped him. “I don’t want to make you feel bad,” he murmured. “You need to know I’m always here for you, Amber. I’m not the enemy. I will support you in whatever you want to do.”

He believed that fully. Yes, he was worried she would find out he kept secrets from her and it could all blow up in his face, but this was the chance he needed to take in order to move forward. He needed her trust. He needed her faith.

He needed
her.

She went to him, her arms going around his neck, her cheek pressed against his. “I’m sorry,” she whispered close to his ear, her lips touching his skin, making him shiver. “I don’t want to fight with you.”

“I don’t want to fight with you either,” he said as he slipped his arms around her waist. “I love you.”

Her body relaxed against his, her breasts pressing against his chest, and his skin tightened. “I love you too,” she said, nuzzling her cheek against his. “So much. I don’t tell you enough.”

“You tell me every day,” he said with a chuckle. Since her accident she told him she loved him often, just as much as he told her.

She leaned in closer, her voice the barest whisper. “Maybe I can show you just how much I love you when we get home.”

He smoothed his hand over her hair, cupping the back of her neck so he could kiss her. “That sounds perfect.”