Falling for Hamlet (28 page)

“Where are you going to bury my father? Someone will notice, even if it’s just me at the cemetery.”

“We’re not going to bury him,” Claudius explained in a low voice.

I shuddered, unable to imagine what they planned. My mind raced to horrible possibilities, so I was compelled to ask, “What are you going to do?”

Gertrude said to Claudius, “She doesn’t need the details.” Then she turned her strained sympathy my way. “My dear, it will all happen eventually.”

“He has a plot… next to my mother. He’s supposed to be buried there.”

“In due time,” said Claudius.

I wanted to walk over and grab him by his ridiculous, short beard, which I was sure he thought made him look younger, and whack him in the face. “You’re sick. I want Laertes.”

“I’m afraid that’s not possible,” Gertrude said.

“Just send a plane for him!”

Claudius stood and folded his arms. “No.”

“Damn it. Why?”

Claudius crossed to the window. “The fewer outside contacts the better. The pilots and stewardesses have confidentiality agreements, but you never know. He does not need to come right away.”

I had two choices: find something to throw at them or go home. My limbs felt too heavy to grab the vase on the table next to me, so I headed for the elevator. “I’m going to call my brother,” I announced.

Marcellus blocked my way. “No, Ophelia,” he said gently.

Claudius shouted, “No outside contact!”

“Not until you have recovered from your shock,” Gertrude added.

I whipped back around. “You can’t keep me here like a prisoner!”

Claudius said, “Actually, we can.”

“Sweetheart…” began Gertrude.

“Don’t you dare call me that!”

She turned away and walked to the window, tapping the pane rapidly with her red nails.

“Phee,” Hamlet called out desperately as the guards crossed him through the reception room toward his bedroom. “You saw Claudius in the garden that day. You know I’m right!”

“Wait!” Gertrude called to the guards, lifting her hand. “What did you say?”

Hamlet looked at me, then his mother, and while staring directly at Claudius replied, “She saw Claudius leaving the conservatory. Right before Dad, your
husband
, was rushed to the hospital. Why would that be?”

I stood in petrified silence, wondering if I was going to be dragged out by security next. Why couldn’t he keep his mouth shut?

“What do you have to say about this?” Gertrude asked me.

“Nothing.” My eyes darted around the room at the various guards who stood nearby. They were all under orders to keep what they heard and saw in these halls a secret or risk imprisonment or worse. Even so, Gertrude and Claudius knew it wouldn’t take more than a whisper or a hint from one of them to begin a cascade of bad publicity and questions. It also occurred to me that the guards were under orders to do exactly what Gertrude and Claudius demanded, even if that included imprisoning or harming me. I couldn’t feel my arms, and my tongue felt thick. “I didn’t see anything. He’s making this up.” Hamlet’s face fell, and I had to look away.

“Take him.” Claudius gestured to the guards as he and Gertrude exchanged impenetrable looks. Anger? Fear? Agreement? Impossible to know.

“Phee!” Hamlet cried.

“Talk to me again and I will kill you!” I screamed.

“Do not threaten the prince,” Marcellus warned.

“Why not? Will you put me in jail? Okay,” I shouted to the other guards, “I plan to kill Queen Gertrude and King Claudius, too! Take me away now. You have to. Get me out of this asylum!”

“Dear girl,” Gertrude said, coming toward me again.

“Don’t touch me!” I screamed. “You believe Hamlet that this was an accident? What kind of accident? Who was he actually trying to kill?” I looked at Claudius.

His face remained blank as he commanded to Marcellus, “Take her home.”

“You don’t get it, do you?” I shouted over my shoulder as Marcellus pulled me by the arm toward the elevator. “How safe are any of you? You crazy—”

“Quiet,” Marcellus hissed, shoving me inside.

When we got to my apartment, Marcellus started yelling at me. “What do you think you’re doing shouting at the king and queen like that?”

“I don’t care who I—He killed my father!” I couldn’t stand there and argue. I couldn’t control my feelings. I couldn’t care what I said anymore. I collapsed on the couch and wept. And wept. Marcellus neither walked over nor tried to console me. Even after I had stopped sobbing—and I have no idea how long that was—I couldn’t and wouldn’t talk. I sat with my fingers pressed into my face, trying to feel something and nothing at the same time.

Eventually I took my sleeves, dried my face, and asked, “What now?”

“You stay here until we hear otherwise.”

I watched him walk to the phone in the kitchen and unplug it, then tuck it under his arm. “What are you doing?” I asked, trepidation breaking through the numbness.

He just looked at me, waiting for my mind to catch up. My lip started to quiver. “All of them?” I asked.

He did not answer but walked to my father’s room and returned with a phone cord and my father’s laptop. “Why are you doing this?” I asked, though I knew exactly why.

“I have to take your cell phone and your computer, too,” he said as he walked to my room.

When he disappeared from view, I ran for my purse and grabbed my cell. Maybe I could get a message off before he returned. Marcellus hurried back into the room as if he knew what I would try. He saw me before I could hide my phone and reached out his hand.

“One message. Please,” I begged.

He looked skeptical.

“To Horatio. You can read along.”

He looked wary but nodded his assent.

i need u. cm hom

He nodded again, and I pressed Send. We waited, looking at each other. It was my one chance to get someone I trusted into the castle.

Bing.
I looked at the reply:

Horatio: Cnt miss mor skl. 2 bhnd.

“Shoot,” I muttered. “I can’t tell him?” I asked, knowing the answer.

Marcellus shook his head sternly and said, “I shouldn’t have let you even do this much.” He reached for the phone. I gripped it hard, but he pulled it out of my hand. Surprisingly, he remained next to me, holding it in his palm. I was hoping Horatio would say more. Maybe Marcellus was, too.

We waited through an unbearably long pause during which the only sounds we heard were the ticking of the clock that rested on my father’s bookshelf and the murmur of traffic passing below. I hoped Horatio was trying to figure out what I needed and hadn’t considered the discussion finished.

The
bing
startled Marcellus and me.

Horatio: wil cm fri. ok?

It wasn’t okay. That was five days away. Five days! My breath got really jagged, and my hands started shaking. Marcellus typed “ok” and put my phone in his pocket. “Don’t try to leave. You know you can’t,” he said sympathetically. He squeezed my shoulder.

The elevator opened, and another guard walked into my apartment. He nodded at Marcellus, and Marcellus headed for the elevator with the phones and computers in his arms.

The new guard, a baby-faced guy with a crew cut, stood blocking the elevator as the doors slid shut behind him. He clasped his hands in front of him and stared out the window across the room, ignoring my presence.

Leaning against the kitchen island, I tried to process the last hour. I stared furiously at the shiny black uniform blocking my way out.
They can’t make me stay in here,
I thought. Looking ahead as if he didn’t exist, I marched toward the elevator and pushed the button.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

My heart raced, but I didn’t answer.

“You’re not getting in that elevator,” he said, more of a challenge than an explanation.

Without replying, I studied my vague reflection in the brushed nickel doors. They slid open and I stepped forward. The guard grabbed me by the arm, swung me around, and threw me to the ground. I smacked my cheek as I landed. He pinned my arms behind me and held me down with one knee, not hard enough to hurt but enough to keep me still. “Send Marcellus,” he called into his shoulder walkie-talkie. “And you’re going to have to reprogram the elevator. I told you, it can’t stop on this floor.” He leaned on me until Marcellus returned.

As I lay there, my chest pressed to the floor, I thought of how sorry I was that I’d ever started dating Hamlet, wished that we’d never kissed on a whim back when we were just friends, wished that I’d listened to my father and truly ended things once they had begun. And if I could turn back time, I would have given up the years of kisses and caring and feeling special and feeling loved to have my father back. To have my freedom back.

Marcellus’s boots were highly polished, which I only noticed because they were so close to my nose. Calmly he said, “I’m going to have Officer Cornelius get off you now, but if you try to run, we’re both coming for you, and this time it’ll hurt.”

I felt Cornelius lift himself off my back, and I rolled over. Both men extended a hand, but I got up on my own. My cheek was throbbing, but I refused to touch it and give them the satisfaction of seeing the pain they had inflicted.

“How can you be a part of this?” I asked Marcellus, furiously trying not to cry again.

He didn’t answer but nodded at Cornelius and pushed the button. It didn’t light up.

“You’ll have to take the stairs. I had them reprogram it,” Cornelius told him.

“They’re going to need to switch that back,” Marcellus said, and then, speaking into his walkie-talkie, gave the order to change it. When he was done, he said to Cornelius, “Can’t have the rotation taking the stairs all the time.”

“Rotation?” I asked.

Cornelius said, “There’ll be three guards assigned to you, in eight-hour shifts.”

“Wait. Someone’s going to be in here all the time?”

“For now.” Marcellus frowned. He put his hands in his pockets and his voice grew gentle. “Listen, Ophelia, just stop fighting this. You know you hold no cards here. No one can protect you, and no one can release you except the king and queen. The only thing to do is wait it out, and your happiness is not their priority. So get comfortable.”

“What are they going to do with Hamlet?” I asked, my voice catching on his name.

“Not your concern. You take care now. We’ll make sure you’ve got food, and someone’ll be in to clean each week.”

“Week?” I gasped.

Marcellus nodded, his brow furrowed. “Could be a while.” He turned to push the button, and it lit up. Then he disappeared, leaving me with Officer Cornelius, questions, and bottomless grief. I sat, completely desolate.

Francisco:
I quote, “I plan to kill Queen Gertrude and King Claudius, too! Take me away now.” Sounds pretty clear.

Ophelia:
I was upset.

Francisco:
Obviously.

Barnardo:
So if you weren’t plotting all along, then was this when you began planning revenge against the royal family?

Francisco:
Answer him.

Barnardo:
Ophelia.
(pause)
Ophelia!

Francisco:
You will answer his questions and you will answer for this.

19

“You disappeared for a while after your father’s death. Were you being held prisoner?”

“Yes, I was.”

“Under whose orders?”

“Claudius’s.”

“You see, ladies? I knew that man was no good.” Members of the audience nod angrily. Then Zara raises her eyebrows and asks, “What about Queen Gertrude?”

Ophelia looks backstage. “I don’t think she knew anything about it.” As the audience twitters, Ophelia takes a sip of water.

Wandering around in a daze, I found that everything I looked at dredged up a painful memory. Of my father. Of Laertes. Of Hamlet. Their presence haunted every corner of the apartment. To escape, I went out on the balcony, but the moment I did, I began to recall the many happy, lazy hours I spent out there alone with Hamlet. My mind filled and pulsed as I lowered myself onto the hammock. There I remained, full of breathless anxiety, until the sun came up and turned the high-rises and the river pink.

I rose, suddenly needing to face the truth. I headed into my father’s bathroom, noticing that his toothbrush was discarded on the counter rather than resting in its holder—a toothbrush that would never be used again, one of his socks lying on the tile next to the hamper, a few stray bits of stubble left on the side of the sink after he shaved. He was typically fastidious but had been rushing around so much lately that things had been left undone, unfixed, uncared for. I touched his hand towel, and started to bring it to my face to smell it, knowing the scent of his aftershave would be lingering in the fabric, but I realized if I did, I might crack apart.

I let go of the towel, walked back into his bedroom, and found myself opening his sock drawer. The dress socks were rolled into perfect balls and arranged by hue. His white athletic socks were pushed to the back, for he hadn’t taken the time to do anything fun like run or play tennis—once his passions—since Hamlet’s father had died. I guess he had too much work to do.

With mounting dread, I kept searching through his stuff. By the time I got to the box of cuff links he kept in that drawer and found my mother’s wedding ring tucked inside, I was so undone, so distressed, that I barely made it out of the room on my feet. But I would have crawled to get out of there if I had to. No way could I have stayed in that place of painful memory for another second.