Falling for Flynn (13 page)

Lori nodded, wishing with all her heart she was wrong but knowing otherwise. She’d seen the evidence and along with her gut instinct, knew without a doubt the army would always be Flynn’s first love.

And she’d be no one’s seconds, ever.

Flynn arrived on Lori’s doorstep with her favorite flowers, the huge crimson gerberas she’d always loved. The news would be all over Richmond tomorrow, how he’d emptied the local florist of every last bloom and ordered a bunch to be delivered to her house every day over the next week.

Not that he cared about the gossip. Now he was a free man he had every intention of letting the world know he was courting Lori Ballantine and wanted her to marry him.

He’d almost gone ahead and bought the ring in Sydney but had stopped at the last minute. Though he’d known her innermost thoughts years ago it had been a long time and he wanted to do this right. He didn’t know her taste in jewelry these days and he’d rather they shared the experience of choosing a ring together.

He shook his head, hating this confusion. In the army, he’d known where he stood with clear-cut rules and regulations, with discipline and comradeship. His life had been neat and tidy, then Lori had re-entered his life and turned everything on its head.

Not that he regretted a moment of it: Adam, their reigniting relationship, leaving the army. There was a time for everything and he’d paid his dues.

Now, this time was his.

Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door. Pounding footsteps echoed in the hallway before the door swung open and his son looked up at him, a huge smile splitting his freckled face.

“Hi, Dad, you’re back. Did you bring me anything?”

“Hey champ.”

He bent down and enveloped Adam in a hug, knowing it would take a lifetime of thanks to the big guy upstairs to half-way make up for the gift he now held in his arms.

Adam pulled back, stared at the flowers in his hand and wrinkled his nose.

“Don’t like flowers. I prefer model airplanes. Or computer games.”

His son slipped his hand into his and dragged him inside. “But don’t worry about it. You’re new at this dad stuff, you’ll get used to it.”

Flynn stifled a grin. “Thanks, Son. Is your mom home?”

“No, she’s not.” A censured voice came from the lounge room. Flynn glanced up in surprise and met Jane’s disapproving glare. He raised an eyebrow, unable to ask where her attitude was coming from while Adam was in the room.

“Sweetie, why don’t you go to your room and boot up the computer and I’ll be in soon and you can show me that latest game you’ve downloaded?”

Jane’s voice had softened somewhat but the angry look she shot him hadn’t.

“Dad, do you want to see it too?”

Adam looked up at him with the gray eyes so like his own, their eager expression imploring him to listen and tugging at his heart.

“I’d love to but I can’t right now. I need to see your mom.”

Adam grinned, a cheeky smile that lit his face. “I knew those flowers were for her all along. I was just teasing. They’re her favorite, you know.”

He smiled back. “I know.”

A slight frown appeared between Adam’s brows. “But how come you’re here when she’s gone to the training school to see you?”

“She has?”

That surprised him. She’d never visited him there apart from the one time she’d popped in wearing that cute little camouflage number and done her damnedest to seduce him.

Adam nodded. “Yep. You better go see her before those flowers die.”

“Good advice.”

He ruffled Adam’s hair, sent a quizzical glance Jane’s way which she ignored, and headed out the door, trying to subdue the niggle of doubt that had sprouted the minute Jane had spoken.

Lori’s friend hadn’t been happy about something and she’d made it more than obvious it involved him.

His gut instincts had kept him alive on more than one occasion on the front line and right now, those instincts were screaming he was about to step on a landmine.

Lori surveyed the obstacle course and chose a pile of old tires as a seat. She’d expected Flynn to be here as she’d rung Michael to double-check when he’d be back. Instead, she’d arrived to find the training school empty. She’d flipped open her mobile to call him when he’d texted her: STAY PUT, C U SOON. FLYNN

No x, no little cyber kiss to show he cared. A petty, insignificant observation, especially when they’d been exchanging texts about Adam for a while and he’d never added an X. But in her state of mind, the absence of that stupid X was indicative of everything about their relationship: she cared too much, him not enough.

She paced the grounds for fifteen minutes, hoping to clear her head and stay in control for the inevitable awkwardness of the confrontation ahead. She needed this to go smoothly for Adam’s sake. However, her stroll didn’t ease her nerves. If anything, the longer it took for Flynn to show up, the more wound up she got.

“Hi.”

She hadn’t heard him sneak up on her and she spun around and glared. Must be the army training. Maybe he could put more of that training to good use when she fired both barrels at him, sending him running for cover.

“We need to talk.”

“Uh-oh, sounds ominous.”

To her amazement, he smiled and despite her intention to confront him, her belly quivered in recognition at the power he held over her.

“Before you talk and I listen, I brought you these.” He revealed a huge bunch of deep crimson gerberas from behind his back and presented them to her with a flourish.

“Thanks, they’re lovely.” She buried her nose in the blooms, momentarily weakened in the face of his thoughtful gesture. However, the image of his expression when he saluted his commander flashed across her mind, solidifying her resolve.

She straightened and let the gerberas fall to her side. “We need to set the boundaries of our friendship so Adam isn’t confused.”

Surprise arched his brows. “Friendship? Don’t you think we’ve moved way past that — ”

“Things got a little confused for a while but I think we need to ensure we’re on the same page for Adam’s sake.” She steadied her voice with effort, preferring icy coolness to hotheaded theatrics. Losing her temper wouldn’t help. Nothing would. She knew the score, had known it all along, but had foolishly deluded herself into believing they could make things work.

Not any more.

He ran his hand through his hair, which had grown since he’d first returned to Richmond. She preferred it this way to the short back and sides the army obviously demanded — not that her preferences had ever meant anything to him.

“I have no idea where these clichés are coming from. Setting boundaries? Same page? What’s going on, Lori?”

“You tell me.”

The instant the angry retort spilled from her lips she wished she could take it back. She didn’t want him to talk, she wanted him to listen.

“Look, I think what happened in Sydney was a mistake, my fault entirely because I sprung that visit on you, but what happened between us will only complicate our situation and that ultimately affects Adam. So we should cool it. Maintain a friendship. That sort of thing … ” she eventually ran out of puff, his somber expression not flickering during her tirade.

“You finished?”

She gnawed on her bottom lip, nodded.

“Good, because listen up.”

He stepped into her personal space, close enough she could feel the heat radiating off him.

“You’re a great mom and from what I’ve seen you always put Adam first so there’s no chance in hell you would’ve come to Sydney unless you wanted to be with me. The Lori I know never did impulsive stuff like that so it must’ve really meant something. Am I right?”

She focused on the third shirt button of his shirt, desperate to hide the truth in her eyes.

Tipping her chin up, she had no option but to meet his probing stare, saw the moment he recognized every tumultuous emotion in her eyes.

“I said we’d talk when I got back to Melbourne. What happened? Why don’t you trust me?”

Because every person she’d ever trusted in her life had let her down: her mom, her dad, and most of all, the guy she’d given her heart to a decade earlier.

“It doesn’t matter.”

She brushed his hand away, stepped back. “We both agree it’s important you’re in Adam’s life. Let’s concentrate on that for now and — ”

“Lori, listen to me — ”

“No, you listen to me. You can’t just waltz back into my life and expect me to be the same person, pining away while you do your he-man stuff in some godforsaken place on the opposite end of the earth. I’ve changed. We both have and we can’t go back.”

Sorrow down turned his mouth as he reached out, laid a hand on her arm.

“I want to move forward, not look back.”

She stared at his hand, the strong fingers, the blunt nails, remembering how he’d caressed her, cherished her … all an illusion.

Shrugging off his hand, she shook her head. “Nothing has changed.”

She didn’t understand his benign expression. “Everything has changed.”

He grabbed her arms, holding on so tight she couldn’t move.

“I’ve left the army.”

“What?”

Her mouth dropped open and he chuckled. “That’s why I was in Sydney. I’ve officially resigned my commission.”

“Why?”

Softening his grip, he brushed a thumb across her cheek.

“Isn’t it obvious?”

A wave of hope swept over her, buoying her up for an exquisite moment before plummeting her down just as quickly.

He’d given up his first love.

For her.

While she should be jumping for joy, she knew first hand what that kind of sacrifice did to a man, the fallout for the rest of the family and she’d be damned if she put her son through anything remotely like that.

When she didn’t answer he lowered his head and slanted a soft kiss across her lips. “Because I love you and want us to be a family.”

She held her breath, wishing the kiss could go on forever, taking whatever she could get, a last fleeting taste of happiness before doing the right thing.

She wrenched her head to one side and Flynn released her, staring in confusion.

“Isn’t this what you want too?”

He reached for her again and she sidestepped, his confusion exacerbated by a frown. “Us together? A family?”

She stared at his outstretched hand as if it were a grenade about to detonate. He couldn’t touch her again, couldn’t weaken her resolve.

She had to do this: for Adam, for her.

“Why now?”

His hand fell to his side when she didn’t take it. “What do you mean?”

She had to drive him away, away from her, without tainting his relationship with Adam and she knew just how to do it.

Infusing her voice with ice, she said, “You had a chance to give up the army years ago to be with me and you chose not to. Now all of a sudden, you walk. We both know why.”

His blank expression sent a shiver through her. “Why?”

“Adam. Not that I blame you for wanting to be involved with your son but I’m just an adjunct, a means to an end.”

He swore but she wasn’t finished.

“If you’ve left the army to spend more time with your son, build a life with him, that’s commendable. But unless you really follow through, it means jack.”

“Of course I’m going to follow through. Why do you think I did it?”

There was her answer. The truth, hidden behind false declarations of love.

“That’s the first honest thing you’ve said.”

“I say I love you and you call me a liar?”

Dread stole through her veins at his glacial tone, his frigid expression.

She wanted to fling herself in his arms, take it all back but where would that leave them in a month, a year, when the regret festered and bloomed within him and he blamed her — or worse, Adam — for his choice in leaving the army behind?

Drawing a deep breath into her seizing lungs, she summoned every ounce of courage to spit out the monstrous lie that would drive the man she loved away forever.

“This is about Adam. It’s always been about Adam for you since the day you found out. What happened between us? An added bonus. Meant nothing.”

She turned and walked away quickly before the tears rolling down her cheeks made a mockery of the hateful words she’d just uttered.

Flynn threw himself into work, ensuring the training center functioned at one hundred percent capacity to entice prospective buyers. Ideally he didn’t want to sell. He’d envisaged running this place as part of his fresh start: new life, new family. But Lori had ripped that dream apart and he was left contemplating a range of options he hadn’t imagined. Sure, plenty of people co-existed in the same city as their exes but for him, working in Richmond with Lori and Adam a few streets away would be too close for comfort.

He needed physical space from her, couldn’t risk seeing her whenever he picked up Adam. For he wasn’t sure he’d be responsible for his actions. Or words, more to the point.

The sooner he off-loaded the center, the sooner he could get the hell out of Richmond.

The suburb held nothing for him anymore apart from his son and he’d already instigated the necessary procedures to ensure his relationship with Adam didn’t suffer when he moved onto his next venture, wherever that may be.

He’d investigated a few options, mainly artillery teaching posts in rural Victoria, all a couple hours drive to Melbourne. Once the visitation legalities were in place, nothing or no one could stop him from seeing the one person who meant the world to him.

As for Adam’s mother … he dropped his head into his hands and rubbed his temples, wondering how he could’ve got it so wrong.

Lori had played him for a fool. He’d thought their time together had meant something, had been a prelude to a life together, a hint of the family he’d always wanted.

Instead, she’d set the record straight in no uncertain terms.
Added bonus? Meant nothing?
What the hell had she been playing at? Had she cozied up to him for Adam’s sake? But why? He would’ve hung around anyway to get to know his son.

And what had her jaunt up to Sydney been about? She’d followed him there, resurrecting the passion simmering between them with little effort. He’d thought … well, what he’d thought was completely irrelevant now.