Fallen Into You (9 page)

“We need to talk,” she said.

And then she didn’t know what else to say. The bravado suddenly drained out of her like pulling the plug in a bathtub full of water. She felt it swirling away, this feeling of control over her own life, over this conversation, and the loss of it made her breath catch in her throat. Over the last several days she had beaten herself up for what she had done, but the truth is, she had gone back to see Anders because she knew her decision was already made. She just needed some way to push herself over the edge of no return, someone who would make her see that she was doing the right thing by breaking ties – even if she was going about it in an entirely underhanded manner.

And now she was there, on the precipice, while this man who loved her stared her down from the fine chair in her fine office, expecting her to apologize. Expecting her to do what she should. Expecting her to fit back into her neat little box, the one that was designed just for her.

“I need some space,” she said.

And there it was. The first step into the abyss.

Scott snorted something like disbelieving laughter. “Are you crazy?”

Kara thought later that things might have gone differently. If Scott had been upset or worried, she might have been more likely to stay with him. If he had been sad or confused, she would have tried to explain things to him in a way that made sense to both of them. If he had broken down and cried, she might have given the flowers to the ladies at the teller window. If he had done something, anything, other than make fun of her, their relationship might have gone in an entirely different direction.

But as it was, he didn’t.

“Excuse me?” she asked.

“What the hell has gotten into you?” he asked, his voice condescending, as though she were a child who just needed a good spanking. The fact that he was so openly hostile made the situation much easier than it would have been otherwise – but regardless, her stomach was already in knots.

“I’m not happy,” she said, her voice level even as her hands were shaking and her heart pounding even harder than it had been when Anders gave her that gentlemanly kiss in parting. “I haven’t been happy for a long time. I’m not sure why, Scott, but I need the time to figure that out. That’s why I need some space.”

“And presumably, the man with the flowers is a coincidence.”

“I need to figure some things out.”

“You didn’t need to figure out a single damn thing until that man showed up. Now you need to find yourself. What is he, some cheap charlatan looking for his meal ticket? Or are you deliberately trying to get one over on me?”

Kara took a long, deep breath. Her hands were trembling so badly that she pressed them down against the desk to keep them under control. Tears stung her eyes, but she wasn’t sure if they were tears of sadness or of anger. What came out of her mouth was a blend of both.

“It would be best not to say anything else right now,” she said to Scott. “That goes for both of us. We are both on the verge of saying things we regret. Let’s just take a breath, and come back to this in a few days, when we can both think.”

“In a few days, after you have had time to make a date with him?”

“It’s not like that.” She was starting to regret she hadn’t taken Anders up on his offer. If you’re going to do the time, you may as well have done the crime.

“Bullshit,” he erupted, and Kara’s eyes popped open. She stared at him. Had he ever yelled at her before?

“You’re just moon-eyed over this guy. He’s a
mechanic
, for crying out loud! He’s got a list of bad credit a mile long and he probably has a rap sheet, too. Don’t deny that this is all about you wanting to explore some bad-boy fantasy.”

Kara sat silently, afraid of what she might say if she opened her mouth.

“And let’s not fool ourselves about what you’re doing here. You probably wonder what it’s like to hang out with the lesser crowd, don’t you? Wonder if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence? It’s not. It’s just a barren wasteland of dirt over there.”

“Scott…”

“What do you think your father is going to say? And your mother, she is rolling over in her grave right now! It’s like you have regressed to some thirteen-year-old girl who doesn’t know what’s good for her!”

“Get out of my office,” she said.

“Hell, you were always a little flighty, but never like this…”

“Get out.”

“You don’t want space, you just want to share space with someone else, and you don’t have the guts to say it to my face.”

“
Get out!”

She shouted the words at the top of her lungs, and that was what it took to finally break through. Scott stared at her with his mouth hanging open. It would have been comical if the situation hadn’t been so serious.

“You’ll come to your senses,” he said, still condescending. “You’ll come around. That Wallace guy certainly will. And real soon, too. You’ll see.”

He opened the door with a confident yank, and slammed it behind him when he walked out. Kara could feel the tears welling up, but she also felt angry and knew if she was going to react, it had to be now.

She jettisoned her chair behind her, charged out of her office, across the hall and into the car park, her heels jarring on the asphalt. To her relief, Anders was still there, his truck parked up. He was sat with his arms resting on the wheel, staring into space.

“Anders!”

He jolted to attention, and began winding down the driver-side window, a smile forming on his face.

“Change of heart?”

She pulled a notepad from her suit jacket, scribbled her address on it and tore it off. Anders took the paper, his fingertips brushing hers and staying there for a beat longer than was appropriate.

“My place, seven-thirty,” she said.

“You sure?”

“Never been surer.”

Chapter Nine

A
nders spent the rest of that day on cloud nine, whistling as he worked, greeting everyone with a smile and even being congenial when one of his regular slackers called in ‘sick’ and said he needed the day off – two hours after he was supposed to be there, of course. After she said yes, there was nothing in the world that could dampen his enthusiasm.

Well, okay, perhaps one thing – Scott.

“Oh dear. Now you’ve gone and done it.” That was what he’d said, the menace in his voice seeming to hang in the air between them.

So there was trouble in the post. Quite what Scott had meant remained to be seen, but it was almost certainly related to his business.

I’ll just have to make sure I have a good time then
.

Anders wasn’t surprised when he encountered a guard at the entrance of Kara’s gated community. After all, those with money had to protect it, and that meant that quite a few of them lived behind gates and well-tended guardhouses. The attendant had asked for his name, and then Anders was waved through immediately – she must have told the guard to expect him. But even that entrance hadn’t prepared him for where she lived.

The house was a three-story Tudor, set a few acres back from the road. The lawn was enormous – big enough to house a baseball diamond complete with bleachers had anyone taken a mind to mar the perfect green that stretched out from the enormous flower beds at the top. The driveway was white stone, leading up to a house that was blue with cream accents. The windows were huge, the garage held three cars, and as he drew closer, he even spied a flag in the backyard, one that had the telltale look of a golf course. Sure enough, he saw it when he parked – there was a small putting green in her backyard.

He got out of the truck and eyed the front door. It was absolutely massive, a double door with transoms and sidelights, the kind of imposing door that could only be found on a house like this.

“Or on a big castle,” he said to himself. “Jesus Christ…”

He had just screwed up his courage and headed for the door when it opened in a rush. And there she stood, wearing a red dress, one that flowed from a tight bodice down into a full skirt. It swished around her legs as she came out onto the wide porch and smiled at him. “You’re here!”

At the sight of that smile, his nervousness disappeared. He strode up the endless walk, smiling back at her. He didn’t say anything until he was on the step right below her, making their eyes level.

“So I am,” he said, and she surprised him by throwing her arms around his shoulders. She gave him a hug, not one that lingered but nor one that was too short, and then she stepped back.

“Just let me get my purse. I’ll be right back.”

He watched as she stepped away. Just inside the door he could see a grand staircase, one that curved all the way up, and an entryway that looked as though it was made of the finest marble. There was art on the walls, something that looked very big and very expensive.

Anders was blown away by the place, and she must have been able to read it on his face when she reappeared.

“Want the nickel tour while you’re here?” she said.

He gave her a smile that was a little tentative, but he nodded.

“You showed me yours,” she said with a naughty smile, “I’ve got to show you mine!”

She clacked through the house, leading him from one room to another. He stood silently in the dining room, taking in the long table and grand fireplace. He laughed out loud when he saw the kitchen, larger than anything she might possibly need, gleaming with a rich air. “You must get lost in here!”

Up they went to the second floor, where she gave him a tantalizing peak into the master suite. After a long moment, his voice cut through the silence. “This room is almost as big as my entire house.” The gulf between them became crystal clear. Surely she must be able to see the vast difference between them. Would he ever be comfortable in a place like this? Did she look down on him? Was this something that would break them before they even had a chance to get started?

He followed her up the stairs, where he glanced into the guest rooms along the hallway, and then he went up to the top floor, where there were even more rooms – the library and study, the game room, and what she called the “Sky Room” because it was filled with skylights that offered a perfect view of the heavens. Tonight the stars were everywhere, and Anders followed Kara’s lead in looking up at them, their hands clasped together.

He wanted her in a way that went far beyond the physical, but something about her suddenly seemed just as out of reach as the heavenly bodies in the sky above.

It was time to leave. She pulled the door closed behind them, and he forgot all about the house as he took her hand.

“I’m so glad you changed your mind,” he said.

She looked up at him with eyes that were both sad and happy. “So am I.”

He watched as her long legs slid into his truck. He turned around in front of the garage and drove out, glancing once at the house in his rearview mirror. “That’s some house,” he said.
That’s the understatement of the year
, he said to himself as he drove down the quiet lane.

“It was my father’s house,” she said. “He moved out of it when I was old enough for a home of my own. I think he expected me to fill up all those rooms with his grandkids by now.”

“Grandkids? You seem like a career woman on the fast track. Would you have time for kids?”

“I always thought that when it happened, I would make the time.”

The ride to the restaurant passed by in a few pleasant minutes. But there was still a gnawing feeling that had come upon him while he was in the house, and hadn’t quite dissipated.

When he pulled up to the front, the valet looked the truck up and down, but kept his manners about him as Anders turned over the well-worn keys. He watched as the valet climbed into the cab and fought with the clutch until he got the big truck lumbering toward the parking lot.

“You enjoyed that,” said Kara, playfully.

Anders gave a little laugh, but there was that gnawing sensation again. What was that feeling? Oh yeah – inadequacy.

“Poor man probably hasn’t been inside a truck in years,” he joked, queasily.

Kara linked her arm through his. “I’ve never tried this place, but I’ve heard good things about it.”

“Let’s see if it’s up to snuff, shall we?” he said. Like he could tell a good top-end restaurant from a bad one.

He walked in through the huge doors into the foyer, elaborate chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and ornate. Jesus what was this place? He felt woefully undressed. In fact he felt unprepared in general. But then what would be an adequate preparation besides growing up on the right side of town, attending the right college, and working in the right job for ten years?

They were greeted by the host who looked Anders up and down. It made him feel yet more self-conscious, if that was possible. “Does sir have a jacket?” the man asked.

Anders guessed he didn’t mean a leather. “No, I don’t. Is that a problem here?”

The host sized him up then left the room. “I’m afraid this is all we have,” he said on his return, and handed over a black loaner jacket.

Anders never paid too much attention to clothes matching, but even he could tell it looked bad. It got worse once he tried to put it on. It was at least two sizes too small, and for a brief moment he thought he might tear the arms clean off as he tried to squeeze his biceps inside. He gave up entirely on the buttons – he could just about manage one, but it was such a stretch that it pulled the front into huge laughter lines.