Fallen Angels: Beguiled\Wanton\Uncovered (33 page)

For an answer, she wrapped her soft slender thighs tightly around his waist—and he was a goner.

He didn't believe in love; what he'd felt for his wife hadn't even been real, but more a pathetic effort to save her and himself, an effort he'd failed miserably. There hadn't been another soul alive he'd let get under his skin since then. He saved people as part of his job. They were simple assignments, nothing more, easy to work through, easy to forget. Hannah could have been an assignment for someone else so he wouldn't have had to get involved.

But now there was Celia. And truth was, she scared him half to death.

Making love to her seemed his only option, a physical way to drown out the sentient turmoil she caused. And now that he'd had release, just a bit of the edge was gone and he could take his time.

Alec did all the things to her he'd ever imagined, and she revelled in each and every one. He made love to her tenderly, and then with primitive determination, almost violent in his need. But she was with him every step of the way, reacting just as explosively, totally uninhibited. Finally, in the wee hours of the morning, they both fell asleep.

Unfortunately, Alec dreamed of his wife, her lush body thin and cold, her sexy features ravaged by death, and somehow her face and Celia's were combined.

And just as he'd failed his wife, he failed Celia. Despite her skewed perspective on things, Alec knew she wouldn't give herself so freely to a man unless she cared, unless she…
loved him.
In a deep part of himself he didn't want to recognize, Alec accepted the truth.

The worst that could happen, had.

N
O AMOUNT
of physical exertion could chase away her demons this morning. Celia had already worked up a sweat, pushed herself harder than she ever had before, and all she could think of was last night. It had been both the most wonderful, and the most distressful, night of her life. Alec had loved her in ways she'd only dreamed of, ways that would have shocked her not so long ago, but had seemed incredibly romantic and intimate and special last night.
With Alec.

He'd also been brutally honest about his views of the world—and she didn't fit into his equation.

Celia had stirred when Alec crawled out of bed early that morning. But she didn't tell Alec she was awake. She wanted time alone to think. She heard him washing up in the bathroom, heard him quietly dressing. When he walked over to her side of the bed, she kept her eyes tightly closed. Regulating her breathing wasn't easy, but she just couldn't face him yet, not knowing what she did now about his past—and how difficult it would be for him to trust in love again. Strangely, he didn't seem to blame his wife or his grandfather or anyone else who'd let him down. He only blamed himself. Her heart wanted to crumble for the hurts he'd been dealt.

His rough, wonderful fingers touched her cheek, smoothed her hair, and seconds later she heard the soft click of the door as it closed behind him. She knew he'd hesitated, that he'd peeked out to make sure it was clear to leave. He'd broken his own rule about staying over and taking chances, and that, too, would anger him at himself. He'd see it as a lack of responsibility on his part. He was so protective…

The tears had started then. All night she'd held them off, knowing he hated to suffer through her excesses of emotion. But her heart hurt and she wanted so badly to curl up and hide away. Of course she didn't.

Minutes after Alec was gone, she left the bed and found his note claiming he'd be back in the early afternoon. At first she was so relieved to find out he wasn't gone for good. She hadn't been certain about that, not with the way she'd pushed him. Then Celia realized that she hadn't told him about the appointment she had with Marc Jacobs's crony at two o'clock. If Alec didn't make it back in time, he'd no doubt be livid to find her gone. He was overprotective to a fault, did the best he could to shield her, but he didn't love her.

And he never would.

Celia squeezed her eyes shut as she did another series of crunches, working to distract herself, but with no success. Even Thelma Houston singing loudly from the portable CD player couldn't penetrate her clamoring thoughts.

She loved Alec, but he had forever shut himself off from love. She had to accept the facts. Her brother, Dane, had been telling her for some time what a loner Alec was, how he seemed to thrive on his seclusion. Even Dane's wife, Angel, whom Alec adored, made him nervous if she offered him the slightest affection. He approached every job with single-minded, cold deliberation, and an absolute lack of personal involvement that effectively settled things with the least amount of fuss. He didn't want to be involved, not with anyone for any reason.

He'd told her, and his life-style proved it; Alec wanted her for sexual release, but with no ties.

He hadn't been wrong about the chemistry between them. No, she didn't feel used for knowing Alec's touch. She felt cherished, and that hurt more than anything.

His poor wife. To Celia, she'd sounded so sad and misguided. And poor Alec. Despite what he'd said, regardless of how he'd thundered and thumped his chest, he was hurting still, and his guilt had been as plain to her as his smudged tattoo with the name removed.

Celia, already sweating, strained to lift herself one more time on the chin-up bar. To boost herself, she started singing with Thelma, her own rendition of a blood-rushing war cry.

“I'd have thought I exercised you plenty last night.”

Celia yelped at the intrusion of that amused, masculine voice. Dropping almost to her knees, she whirled to face Alec. His arms were laden with packages, and there was a wide, taunting smile on his unshaven face.

He looked delicious, she thought, in his rumpled jeans, dark T-shirt and flannel, like a renegade, lethal and sexy and more than capable of anything he set his mind to. Even though her embarrassment was extreme, she couldn't help admiring him. “Alec, your note said you'd be gone till the afternoon!”

“It is afternoon.”

“No, it's only eleven.”

He shrugged. “Close enough. I got everything taken care of faster than I expected.”

Still struggling with his smile, Alec put the boxes and bags on the small table, never quite taking his gaze from her. Legs braced apart, arms crossed over his chest, he was the perfect picture of the arrogantly amused male.

Celia nervously tugged her T-shirt lower. Other than her panties, it was all she wore, all she ever wore while working out in the oppressive summer heat. She cleared her throat. “Actually, I'm glad you're here.”

“Me, too.” Stalking forward, his eyes on the damp T-shirt clinging to her breasts, he added, “I expected to find you still in bed, all drowsy and sweet, but maybe this is even better.” He glanced up, his gaze holding hers. “You're already…warmed up.”

“Alec.” Celia held her arms out, warding him off. She needed to talk to him, to explain about her plans with Jacobs, but he easily dodged her resistance and in a single move she found herself flat on the bed and Alec firmly planted between her thighs.

“You smell good,” he muttered, nuzzling her shoulder and throat.

“I'm sweaty!”

“Earthy. You smell like a woman. I like it.”

“Alec, please, I have to talk to you.”

“I love how you say
please
so prettily.” He kissed her breast through the cotton, lightly nibbled on her nipple. “It turns me on.”

She couldn't help but laugh even as her body softened with wanting him. “I'm finding out that everything turns you on.”

“Everything about you. Believe it or not, I have icy cold iron control everywhere else.”

“Really?” She knew it to be true at work, but did he mean with other women also? The idea pleased her. If she couldn't have everything, at least she had something special.

Alec started inching her shirt up, and she knew once he had her naked, it'd be all over. She gripped his ponytail, making him wince, and blurted out, “Jacobs set up another meeting for me today.”

Alec stilled. “When?”

“At two o'clock.”

He stared at her hard for a moment, then shoved himself into a sitting position. Glaring down at where she still lay sprawled on the mattress, he asked, “And you're just now telling me?”

Celia scrambled into a sitting position as well, pulling the shirt over her knees to maintain a false sense of modesty. “Well, last night you didn't exactly give me a chance, now did you?”

He leaned forward, nose to nose with her. “So why didn't you tell me this morning instead of playing possum?”

Celia tucked in her chin. “You knew I was awake?”

Alec rolled his eyes and stood to pace. “All right. From now on, business comes first.” He looked at her, his eyes black with inner fire, pinning her. “There's nothing I'd rather do than spend a week in bed with you, but that's going to have to come second to solving this business with Jacobs—if you're still determined to see this through?”

She lifted her chin. “Of course I'm still determined.”

He muttered a curse. “That's what I figured.”

“You're the one who distracted me last night!”

“And I'll damn well distract you again tonight, and the next night. But from now on, tell me what's going on the minute you see me. No more holding back. What if I hadn't gone shopping this morning? Then we'd be in a hell of a mess.”

Celia had no idea what his shopping had to do with her plans for Jacobs. She gave him a blank look and he sighed.

“Celia, I don't want you around Jacobs again without a wire. It's too risky. Watching you from outside that house last night took a good ten years off my life. I don't want to go through that again. Seeing you in there, but not knowing what's going on—anything could happen, and the more we deal with that bastard, the less I like it. The only way I can approve any of this—”

“You can approve!”

“—is if you're wired so I can hear what's going on.”

Celia jumped to her feet to face him. Alec was back to his old, stubborn, autocratic self and she wouldn't stand for it. “I thought we'd already decided that I'm going to do whatever I choose, Alec Sharpe! You don't own me.”

Propping his hands on his hips and acting totally unaffected by her ire, he said, “If I did, I'd have you on a leash.”

She almost exploded with fury, and then somehow, some small niggling suspicion crept into her brain. Alec wanted her anger. He'd tried jumping her bones the minute he'd come in, which would have, in effect, put her in the place he wanted to keep her: as a mere bed partner, her importance defined by physical activities.

But then she'd told him about Jacobs and his natural protective instincts kicked in. Alec felt a noble, if detached, responsibility for almost everyone, especially people smaller, older, or weaker than himself. But he seemed to take a personal interest in Celia. He always had, almost from day one. Why hadn't she ever made serious note of that before?

Because she'd always been too busy fighting off her own attraction for him.

Now she no longer wanted to fight, and she was seeing things much more clearly. Watching him warily, she said, “You're being a jerk, Alec.”

“Because I don't want to see you raped by that bastard?”

“No.” She shook her head, shaken by his words despite her false bravado. “I accept your concern because I believe it's genuine.”

He smirked. “Gee, thanks.”

“But it's your attitude that needs work.” She narrowed her eyes and looked him over, unsure how far she should push. But this was important. She loved him, and even if he never loved her back, she wanted him to accept that love existed, and that he, especially, was a very worthy man to receive it. “Last night you weren't so obnoxious. You were…understanding, when I first came in.”

He laughed. “Last night you were all but falling apart. I don't kick anyone when they're down, especially not a lady I want to get intimate with.”

Oh God. He was going for the jugular today. Feeling her resolve weaken, Celia lifted her chin. “I thought you were kind and considerate because you cared about me.”

Alec stepped closer, his gaze predatory. “Oh, I do care, honey. But don't give me that doe-eyed innocent look, like you think I should be pledging love everlasting just because we rocked the earth in bed.”

Very quietly, she whispered, “I never thought that, Alec.”

“Good. Because what we have together is too damn hot to start watering down with false expectations.”

“Sex?”

“Damn right. Sensational sex, from both our perspectives, and I've got your claw marks all over me to prove it.”

She almost hit him. The air left her in a whoosh and she felt herself folding in, closing down. She couldn't banter with him, not when he was intent on forcing an ugly void between them. Turning, she headed for the bathroom, wanting only an escape, but Alec wrapped one steely arm around her waist, drawing her up short. A physical battle would be beyond stupid; the man was hard as granite whereas she was still trying to develop a little muscle tone. She waited to see what he would do, but he merely held her, pulling her tight against his chest.

She felt his indecision like a tangible thing, pulsing over her, and then his mouth touched her temple, her ear. “Where are you going, babe?”

Celia held herself perfectly still, afraid she'd fall apart and start crying if she moved a single muscle. Not only would she refuse him the satisfaction of winning, her pride demanded she hold tough, that she prove herself capable of dealing with anything he dished out. “I need to shower and get ready.”

“Not yet.”

“Alec…” She squeezed her eyes shut. If he said one more hurtful thing to her now, she might not be able to forgive him.

But he simply held her. “We have things to talk about, and I brought you something to eat.”

“I'm not hungry.”

“You'll eat anyway.”

Shoving out of his arms, she faced him again and said, “Get it through your thick head, Sharpe! You're not my keeper.”

Eyes glinting, he leaned against the wall and folded his arms over his chest. She recognized that now as his arrogant stance, and she braced herself.

“But I am.” The words were soft, satisfied. “Don't you remember our little arrangement? I'd stay and help you save Hannah, and you'd give me…” he shrugged “…anything I want. Right now, I want you to stop running away from me.”