Fallen Angel (22 page)

She closed the book and sighed.
Ah, well
.

She put the book down on the coffee table, and carried her cup and plate into the kitchen to wash. "What are we going to do today, kiddos?" she asked the cats. Sophie was still under the Christmas tree, and Dinah was sitting in the window watching a squirrel run across the lawn. Just another day. Might as well go to the beach.

Well, why not?

She packed a tote bag with sunscreen, a towel, and a paperback book; she almost took the new book, then decided she didn't want to risk getting it wet. She didn't normally spend much time at the beach; her fair skin didn't tan, and she tended to get sunburned. But going to the beach on Christmas Day appealed to her. It was certainly better than staying in the house, brooding.

She stuck a bottle of water in the bag, and grabbed an orange from the bowl on the table. She might go in to town and have a meal later. Right now she didn't feel like talking to anyone.

She walked across the street, spread her towel out on the beach, and opened her book, but the sun was so warm, and the air so soft, that she grew sleepy, and almost immediately put the book down and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, it was because the light had changed--something was blocking the sun. She shaded her eyes, and looked up to see Zach, standing on the beach in his usual all-black attire. Her heart lurched, but she kept her voice calm.

"You know," she said, "You could try blending in a little better."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, look around. Do you see anyone else on the beach wearing an overcoat and boots?"

He grinned at her. "No. But then, they don't see
me
, either."

"Oh yes," she said. "I'd forgotten that." She felt exposed and suddenly chilly in her skimpy swimsuit, and pulled her t-shirt over her head as she sat up and crossed her legs. She patted the towel next to her. "Sit down." He sat.

"So . . . how are you?" she asked. "I was afraid for you, afraid something had happened to you."

"Nothing permanent," he said, with a sad smile. "Sarah, I can't stay. I just came to-- to say I'm sorry for the way things turned out. I--"

Sarah stopped him. "Zach, it's okay. I'm glad you let me know you were all right. I was worried, but I never really thought you'd be around forever."

"I wish I could be."

"Me, too. I wish . . . I don't know." She laughed. "I feel like I'd like to call you up on the phone sometime, just to talk."

"It doesn't work that way."

"I know. I just . . . I don't want to let you go."

"Well, I'll be around." He smiled. "You can count on that. Just look for the feathers."

They both leaned toward each other at the same time. She smelled the slightly dusty smell of feathers as she hugged him, and she closed her eyes and let herself be enfolded in his wings.

THE END

The first draft of this book was written for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) during the month of November 2001. It took me this long to get back to it and edit it; I wasn’t sure whether it was any good or not, and was a little afraid to read it again.

I think it was one of Emma Bull's novels--probably War for the Oaks--where I first saw someone record the existence of a soundtrack for a book—the music they had listened to as they wrote. Charles de Lint does it, too, I've noticed. So it was inevitable that I think about music as an integral part of this book.

David Knopfler's album, Wishbones, came out in 2001 at around the same time that I was making notes for this novel, and it shaped much of the book, particularly two tracks: "The Snowscape Paperweight Girl," which could have been written about Sarah, I thought, and "If God Could Make the Angels." The whole album, really, became the soundtrack for that period in my life.

When I was about halfway through the book, someone reminded me about Robbie Robertson's first album, and a track on it called "Fallen Angel." As I was writing the last scene, I couldn't help visualizing it as a scene in a movie, with the strains of "Fallen Angel" rising up in the background as Zachriel enfolds Sarah in his wings.

It's Christmastime in the book, and was getting close to Christmastime here, too, as I was writing, and I listened to Christmas music sometimes to get in the mood. When I mentioned that Sarah was playing a Narada Christmas album in the store, and in particular, the David Arkenstone recording of "I Saw Three Ships," that was what I was playing at home at the time, and it just naturally made its way into the story.

I listened to music, but I tried not to read too much. I read a lot normally, but I found that reading fiction while I was trying to write distracted me. Bad writing distracted me more than good writing, although they were both demoralizing in different ways--good writing made me think I could never write that well, and bad writing made me worry that mine was just as bad; both made me wonder if I should bother trying.

In addition to my husband Bob, thanks should go out in particular to David Knopfler and Misty Bell, both of whom believed that I could do it and who encouraged me every step of the way, to Gard Gibson, who kept tabs on my word count and cheered me on at our Monday morning meetings, to Barbara Bretton, who told me I was "damn good," and to Joanna Castillo, who sent me an angel.

I also want to thank Judy Heim, who was my greatest cheerleader who was actually
reading
the book. Thanks, Judy.

- WGC

Willa Cline lives in Overland Park, Kansas, with her husband, Bob and cat, Dinah. She works as a producer for an interactive production company in Kansas City, Missouri, and dreams of living in a little yellow house on the beach. Learn more about Willa at www.willa.com.

Footnotes

¹
Sandra A. Thomson, "
Cloud Nine - A Dreamer's Dictionary
"

²
Ahead of All Parting
, 1995, Stephen Mitchell, Translator,
Second Elegy

³
Sonnet No. 7: "When I Too Long Have Looked Upon Your Face"
- Edna St. Vincent Millay

⁴
Lament
- Rainer Maria Rilke

⁵
Rainer Maria Rilke, translated by Stephen Mitchell: "
You Who Never Arrived
."

⁶
"The Snowscape Paperweight Girl" © Shrewsham Ltd. 2001 by David Knopfler

⁷
"Fallen Angel" © 1987 Medicine Hat Music, by J.R.Robertson and Martin Page

Copyright 2010 Willa G. Cline. All rights reserved.